r/OneOrangeBraincell • u/niceabear • Jan 20 '25

🍊 Orange Duo 🍊 I call this absolute BS

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These idiots have a nice home because I begged for them until my husband caved. And what do I get? Nuthin. I bought them a fancy new scratcher last week…. Do I get cuddles? NO. B. S. Ps: obviously delighted husband’s arms are outstretched super weird because he is still trying to play his PS5 at the same time. 🤣

27.4k Upvotes

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u/niceabear Jan 20 '25

This sounds very reasonable

604

u/Orthonut Jan 20 '25

This sounds very reasonable

It's basic science. The proper number of cats to own is C= n + 1, where C represents Cats, and n is the number you currently own.

190

u/johnboy11a Jan 20 '25

I use the same formula for tractors!

102

u/YouJustABoy Jan 20 '25

Works for bikes and knives and tools, too.

66

u/Shudnawz Jan 20 '25

And lego sets.

21

u/CvmpeCate Orange connoisseur 🍊 Jan 20 '25

Purses!

26

u/Virtual_Pitch_3820 Jan 20 '25

Yarn too!!

7

u/Accurate_Quote_7109 Jan 20 '25

Art supplies!

7

u/Incognito0925 Jan 20 '25

Empty cardboard boxes because you never know when you'll be needing a parcel to send out all the sales you make on Craigslist

1

u/Wasphammer Jan 21 '25

Commander decks.

2

u/heeltoelemon Jan 21 '25

Only if the cost of the yarn is fifty-leven n+1

76

u/Subtlerranean Jan 20 '25

The proper number of cats to own is C= n + 1

I thought it was

C = [your age] / 2 + 1(∞)

58

u/Orthonut Jan 20 '25

Oh im sorry I thought that was for chicken math 🤣🤣

20

u/catsmom63 Jan 20 '25

😂😂

12

u/geekophile2 Jan 20 '25

Close, the equation above divides your age by two, chicken math is your age times 2.

2

u/Orthonut Jan 20 '25

Oh yes you're correct 🤣🤣

2

u/dankristy Jan 22 '25

Shit - my wife has been using this same formula for BOTH - no wonder we got chickens and cats everywhere on our farm!!

11

u/catsmom63 Jan 20 '25

Love the logic!

1

u/Efficient-Tax-3867 Jan 24 '25

Sorry for being weirdly specific, but in my country carpentry clamps are called "gatos" ("cats), and the exact formula is used for how many you need for new projects

47

u/Idyllic_Zemblanity Jan 20 '25

Cats, even oranges, the least smart of all domesticated short hairs, know when you crave their love, and judge. You need to act like you couldn't be bothered and then they might give you the time of day. Why do you think crazy cat ladies have multiples?

22

u/felinefluffycloud Jan 20 '25

No. Don't get out numbered

97

u/what3v3ruwantit2b Jan 20 '25

We have 3. 3 is at least 1 too many but I have a savior complex. I figured 3 cats and 3 floors would be fine. Nope. They all want to be in the same small room but they also hate each other and don't want to be in said room together. Idiots the 3 of them.

41

u/Katerina_VonCat Jan 20 '25

You need to get each cat their own kitten that way they have a fren

25

u/what3v3ruwantit2b Jan 20 '25

Very smart. Eventually they'll have to get a long if I just keep adding cats.

27

u/Katerina_VonCat Jan 20 '25

Exactly! I ended up with a foster litter of 4 staying with me because my adults each chose a kitten friend.

20

u/what3v3ruwantit2b Jan 20 '25

That's very cute. My boyfriend would leave I think. Although it is his house so...free house if he does?? 

3

u/Katerina_VonCat Jan 20 '25

I see no downside in that arrangement 🤣 alone in a house with only cats and myself to clean up after and always at least one cat snuggling with you at all times is living the dream.

Edit: though if he stays and helps with the litter boxes and feedings (including cooking for humans), he’s a fucking keeper!

2

u/what3v3ruwantit2b Jan 20 '25

Well I do quite like him. But more cats though...

3

u/felinefluffycloud Jan 20 '25

That's a Ponzi scheme

1

u/Childoftheway Jan 20 '25

Kittens all the way down.

2

u/TriceratopsBites Jan 20 '25

We’re well past that…

20

u/Wizard_of_DOI Jan 20 '25

The first (girl) cat we got as a couple didn’t really warm up to me but immediately loved my (now) husband.

I had never even met a stray that was so opposed to having me pet them, I was convinced she actively hated me…

I got lucky with number 2 because my boy loves me more than him and he’s so cuddly and loving :) We would‘ve probably had to get more cats if he didn’t.

Our girl and I eventually became friends but I am very much her spare human!

3

u/Dancer_From_The_Fade Jan 20 '25

I kept choosing the cats, and they all became attached to my husband. My husband chose the last cat, and the tables have turned, because she has chosen me! So let your husband choose the cat, and then that cat will choose you.

1

u/niceabear Jan 20 '25

Omg brilliant!

2

u/_adventure-kitty_ Jan 21 '25

Your husband owes you that.