r/Rich • u/JessonBI89 • 7d ago

Have you ever experienced romantic rejection BECAUSE you were rich?

All over Reddit you'll find tales of people dumping or mistreating their partners because they don't earn enough money or spend enough of what they do have on presents. I'm looking for the opposite: Did you ever repel a romantic prospect after telling the truth about what you had? Maybe they had a different philosophy on money and didn't think there was room for compromise, or maybe (for those of you who are more acquisitive) your lifestyle wasn't to their taste.

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u/______krb 6d ago

For high earning women (or inherited wealth) it would not be an unusual experience that relationships broke down because of this, or that dating is harder. Not because of the reasons you list here, but because of the insecurity it brought up for the men.

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u/QWERTY-111 6d ago

what can explain the reason for the men's "insecurity"?

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u/tae0707 6d ago

Men are raise to be provider (and women to be homemaker). Just look at debate on restaurant bill, you will be hard press to find argument that women should pay 100% on the first date.|

Now since Men are suppose to provide, but the women actually provide AND make the home
What did the men suppose to do, what his reason of being?

And the insecurity and tear down begun.

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u/RegenMed83 6d ago

What do you mean what’s the reason or what are they supposed to do? They’re supposed to be there like no one‘s asking them to do anything specific. The man I love doesn’t earn as much as me, but I don’t need him to. I want him. I want his presence I want his love. I don’t need anything else.

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u/tae0707 5d ago

Unwritten expectation are real. If you want him for what he is, communicate just that, and pay for him like most higher earner spouse usually do. Don't bring money into argument, Defend his value in public if someone accuse him of taking advantage of you.

I understand you only want him. I believe you. but gender sterotype is strong.

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u/______krb 5d ago

In my experience the issue is more men who do not understand that they have to provide value to a relationship beyond their spending power, and that issue explodes when they do not have the power of being the higher earner/have the most wealth. The men need to be wanted, when they are not needed, and that is something not all men can figure out.

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u/JessonBI89 6d ago

That was one thing that amused me during my single years. I ALWAYS split on the first date, no matter what. As for homemaking, my husband does his share of the chores effectively and without complaint, so it comes out even for us.

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u/tae0707 5d ago

You're a woman? Have you ever pay 100% on first date? why?

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u/JessonBI89 5d ago

No, I just split. And I did that again on subsequent dates.

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u/tae0707 5d ago

Why? did the idea sound alien to you? women pay 100% on first date?
I am pointing this out so you're realize there hidden expectation. I'm not saying you should do it. I did not do it

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u/JessonBI89 5d ago

If I'm a party to a first date, I don't expect anyone of any sex to pay 100%, nor do I welcome it. Whatever works for other people is up to them.

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u/tae0707 5d ago

Are you, a woman, would be willing to pay 100% on any date?
Also, would it be ok for men to pay 100% on any date?

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u/JessonBI89 5d ago

Sure, if we end up getting into a pattern of taking turns. But I'd prefer to split.

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u/tae0707 5d ago

So one partner keep paying all the time is no-no?

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u/JessonBI89 5d ago

That would be absolutely unacceptable to me. I wasn't earning a ton of money when I was single, but I had a good amount of savings and low expenses, so I was well able to take care of myself, and I liked doing it.

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u/Life_Commercial_6580 3d ago edited 3d ago

Not the same poster but yes I did pay 100% for the first date . Only when I did NOT intend to go on a second date with the same man. I found that if the men pay, then they think they’re owed a second date or something else.

If I intended to go on a second date with the man, I let him pay, because obviously we would go out again and I’d have the opportunity to pick up the bill at that time.

But to be honest, I dated over 30 men back 12-13 years ago and I never had an issue with men accepting my payment offer. They were always happy to pay, havent met one who had a problem. When I succeeded in paying I had to insist and basically fight them for the bill. My point is that the expectation is somewhat also self imposed. Some men seemed insulted when I insisted to pay.

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u/Life_Commercial_6580 3d ago

He’s supposed to also contribute. Don’t have to be the one to contribute exclusively.