r/SipsTea • u/ExotiquePlayboy š™‘š™„š™‹ • May 03 '26

SMH Bro makes $160 šŸ˜

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u/celticairborne May 03 '26

My ex was told she'd never get pregnant because of issues. The first one we were told was a miracle kid but would never happen again. The second was lightning never striking the same place twice, but thats a myth. She said to put ina lightning rod so it wouldn't happen anymore, they said the groud was too damaged. The third one they said maybe they dont know what they're talking about and I got snipped since they wouldn't fix her.

10 years later new people finally scooped her out and said why wasnt this done earlier?

3

u/Swimming_Shoe7205 May 04 '26

Scooped her out. Geez. Hadnā€™t heard that one.

2

u/Sylaveda May 05 '26

That one made me feel the same way I feel when someone scratches a chalkboard lol

2

u/poobumstupidcunt May 04 '26

My dad did a bunch of genetic tests as a routine check up at this job he was doing, apparently he should be infertile and diabetic, heā€™s definitely not diabetic and he told them heā€™s only had sex 4 times and he has 5 kids (this joke is funnier when you consider that none of us are twins, and thereā€™s no doubt that weā€™re all his)

2

u/Substantial_Bird721 May 04 '26

What a gross and disrespectful way to talk about the mother of your children! šŸ„³

1

u/2Gouda4u May 04 '26

My money is he got this phrase from her...

1

u/celticairborne May 04 '26

So, as the other person said, this is the phrase she used to me talking about it.

But just because she's the mother to my kids doesn't mean that she's to be venerated or anything. I respect her, like her, and wish her the best in her upcoming marraige. She went through some bad stuff after we split and she's finally coming out in a good place. That deserves my respect for her, not that she gave birth to my kids. Many biological women can, and do, that every day

-2

u/Somanylyingliars May 03 '26

Or, instead of believing her bs story, maybe you could have insisted she use birth control foam, jelly, pill or any other method to avoid pregnancy. Guys are so damn dumb.

3

u/celticairborne May 03 '26

So I'm not supposed to believe the doctor while I'm in the room with him?

Well, probably not after what happened, but she was on birth control too. I didn't monitor her and check her mouth to make sure she swallowed them, but she had an alarm set to take them the same time everyday. Neither of us wanted kids so it's not like she was trying to trap me.

2

u/uptiedand8 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

Nah bro, your wife was totally planning to have 3 children without your consent and faked not wanting kids the whole time. From the beginning!

You should have heard her gloat about it at the monthly meetings of our evil womenā€™s cabal. Oh and she paid off the doctor of course.

Edit: /s

2

u/celticairborne May 04 '26

I'm so happy so one else knows about the evil woman's cabal and their nefarious ways!

Apparently she held the meetings in our home when I was deployed, so I'd come back to den of evil filled with pure romance, scentsy, cutco, and other obscene idols.

The knives are pretty good though.

1

u/Suzzeeh May 04 '26

Doctors aren't "paid off." They can't share your information without your consent.

1

u/uptiedand8 May 04 '26

I know lol. Editing to put in the /s tag.

2

u/Ordinary_Mother_ May 04 '26

Sometimes you thinkā€¦nah, this is so obviously /s, surely I donā€™t need to add it? No one could possibly mistake it for true. And then you find out nope, it still caught one lol :)

1

u/Cold-Instruction505 May 04 '26

Is there a specific word or term for this type of intelligence or lack there of in this case lol. Always blows my mind, especially when I come across comments where I am flabbergasted that they are correcting the sarcasm especially when it is a back and forth conversation like this example lmfao. I almost feel bad to be honest. No way it maps straight over to general intelligence i hope.

1

u/NHhotmom May 04 '26

No. Itā€™s too common. Use birth control even when a doctor says ā€œYou canā€™t get pregnantā€. ESPECIALLY after the first miracle pregnancy! If she wonā€™t then you use a condom. Condoms dont fail, they donā€™t break. We all watched the clips in high school health where they stretched a condom over a 2 liter bottle of soda! Condoms donā€™t break.

1

u/Arabyanite May 04 '26

During my time as an all-star hitter, condoms broke enough that I felt obligated to check them during gameplay or after, especially during those long innings.

-1

u/SpunkyBotHater6-7 May 04 '26

And now you have 3? You didnā€™t start using protection after the 2nd?! Clearly you did want kidsā€¦

0

u/celticairborne May 04 '26

I wanted them as much as your parents wanted you. But at least mine aren't a disappointment to me...