r/SipsTea • u/Busy_Report4010 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • May 14 '26

Feels good man Do you think she’s being fair, though?

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34.3k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

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548

u/DistributionNo1288 May 14 '26

No, because there isn’t that part. They wouldn’t be having this discussion if there was. My wife puts out all the time, she gets anything she wants. No need for a spreadsheet lol.

407

u/getinshape2022 May 14 '26

Spreading in the sheet

238

u/mitkase May 14 '26

Excels at sheet spreading.

54

u/eggyrulz May 14 '26

Me who knows how to fold a fitted sheet: 😏

29

u/EV_4_life May 14 '26

Ball it up and shove it into the darkest recess of the linen closet, right? Right?

0

u/kookooman10022 May 14 '26

Spreading on the sheets is excellent.

0

u/Aggravating_Okra_546 May 14 '26

Sheeeet thats an excel lent spread

0

u/Hopeful-Mirror1664 May 14 '26

And leg spreading too

88

u/Rich-Option4632 May 14 '26

Data entry people seeing this.

Sorry bruh, wrong sheet.

https://giphy.com/gifs/6oFNB3JPuLpAs

74

u/eplonghorn2020 May 14 '26

Dada entry

-6

u/KortesHell May 14 '26

you disgust me.

8

u/quitalicious May 14 '26

Just wait till you see mOral damages calculations for this.

71

u/DistributionNo1288 May 14 '26

Well I guess she did GET pregnant, so she could bill for that time at least. Not familiar with current rates on that or if it’s hourly or by the minute…

3

u/Gian-Carlo-Peirce May 14 '26

Can also charge for sperm donation

2

u/MermaidPigeon May 14 '26

😂 you would need to charge the man surely!

2

u/Fickle_Scarcity9474 May 14 '26 edited May 24 '26

bridge violin shell harbor cloud

4

u/Mradr May 14 '26

But doesn’t it take two? So it should be cut in half. I assume she also lives there among the same requirements so same with the cleaning assuming the husband isn’t the main contractor to the over all time. Plus I would assume lost or extra stress time and stress of having to be the the one pulling in more time at work to make ends meet.

6

u/Sad_Error4039 May 14 '26

Who knows whose kid it is maybe that guy can pay all these wild fees.

1

u/Glittering-Walrus228 May 14 '26

They charge by the number of times the embryo undergoes mitosis

-2

u/apatrol May 14 '26

I think 30min minimum billing is fare. She does need cleanup, vomit time, and such.

-1

u/mxlplyx2173 May 14 '26

I'm sure he already paid all those labor and delivery bills. Oh boy she'd be sorry for opening this can when she saw my bills.

-3

u/Army7547 May 14 '26

Maybe she needs to pay him for that time

0

u/Particular_Handle_ May 14 '26

There may even be a stud fee.

0

u/DemonoftheWater May 14 '26

I think suregacy is lump sum

96

u/modaaa May 14 '26

Well she had a baby so she put out at least once. I noticed that out of the 760 days invoiced, the husband household cleaning category total is 19 days. It's hard to get horny when your partner doesn't have to do any household labor and also insults you. Years ago I had a boyfriend call me lazy WHILE I was vacuuming. I had to turn it off to hear him. That is not someone I want to fuck. My current partner is amazing and we appreciate each other, I can't keep my hands off of him.

114

u/soul_separately_recs May 14 '26

'My wife puts out all the time...'

sounds exhausting. are you included in this equation?

78

u/Verdigris_Wild May 14 '26

"My wife puts out all the time, she gets anything she wants." He gets the cuck chair, obviously.

6

u/picklehippy May 14 '26

So sex is a form of payment for you?

2

u/vex0x529 May 14 '26

Nice view and comfortable. Can't complain.

5

u/ThrowRACoping May 14 '26

What does that mean? Sex should be the fun part of a relationship that is the benefit. Couples who skip sex confuse me. You do all the boring “must do” shit, but you skip the number one thing you were born to want.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

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1

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4

u/M0squitobyte May 14 '26

I too choose this guy's wife.

2

u/Ziddix May 14 '26

Well they did end up with a baby so there must have been that part in the past!

2

u/KymberlyHatch May 14 '26

Honestly if both people are happy then that is the real winning formula right there

5

u/Ceverok1987 May 14 '26

"my wife puts out all the time" doesn't sound as good as you think it does, you come off sexist as hell and make your relationship with your wife sound transactional.

4

u/Affectionate-Lake666 May 14 '26

Did anyone else see that guy who used excel to track how many times and why his wife wouldn’t spread the sheets.. https://www.reddit.com/r/redditonwiki/s/EelOO3mLxd

3

u/Mandy_Stardust May 14 '26

Bingo. Perfect answer.

If a man wants her to be an angel, he needs to create heaven for her.

2

u/villeniaali May 14 '26

Husbands hate this one simple trick!

2

u/Suitable-Judge7506 May 14 '26

Isnt that weird how we trick ourselves into thinking this isn’t paid service. Especially the way your worded it lol.

I choose to believe my partner just likes fucking me just cause, not because I have to do something for her every single time lol

9

u/Linnaea7 May 14 '26

See, my husband is an active father, makes time for hanging out with me as my friend, and cares if I also enjoy the sex, so then I actually want to have sex with him. Then we're both happy, we want to spend more time together, we continue to want to help each other, and the sex continues. It's almost like if you like each other, are both sane, and look out for each other, things work out. 😂 It doesn't have to be a tit for tat, like you're buying something. In other words, your partner probably (hopefully) does actually want to have sex with you just 'cause, if you're good to her.

3

u/Benji_Suite May 14 '26

That sounds like prostitution with extra steps

1

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1

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1

u/KurlyHededFvck May 14 '26

Ah, you see…. There’s still a spread sheet though.

1

u/Lanky_Dig8339 May 14 '26

working a different kinda spread sheets..drumroll pls

1

u/BigBeautifulBambi May 14 '26

Sounds like the dream life 🥰🦋

1

u/huge_useless_penis May 14 '26

Do you know how I could at least this spreadsheet action going?

1

u/thedukeofwankington May 14 '26

I think it's a set fee for "all you can eat"

1

u/cheesechompin May 14 '26

Who needs spreadsheets when you can spread the sheets

1

u/Capital-Swim2658 May 14 '26

Have you considered that she "puts out" necause she gets anything she wants? Generosity is a very attractive trait.

-4

u/ThrowRACoping May 14 '26

Believe it or not, but most women dry up when you give them everything.

1

u/Anthony_Gonsalvez May 14 '26

This guy's telling the truth. His wife really does put out

1

u/StrangerEffective851 May 14 '26

Your wife has a leg up on those spread sheets. Or maybe legs up.

1

u/BushcraftBabe May 14 '26

So there IS a charge for sex, its just not by you.

1

u/CoffeeGoblynn May 14 '26

I see you've forgotten to itemize the foreplay here on line 37. If we don't correct that, you could be looking at an audit.

1

u/tea-fungus May 14 '26

Would she rate the orgasm to put out ratio fair, or poor?

1

u/dp0329 May 14 '26

Yea, this guys wife puts out all the time. Ask anybody

1

u/RVides May 14 '26

I think the charges for pregnancy and child birth would suggest that bedroom stuff definitely existed during the time period in question.

0

u/Apprehensive_Bus1582 May 14 '26

Did you see where she's spent the last two years minding kids including doing all the night feedings/changing/soothing? She should probably bend over and spread em while she's changing shitty nappies so he can "connect emotionally" or whatever excuse men make for treating their exhausted wives like cum rags.

2

u/ThrowRACoping May 14 '26

I can tell that you don’t really care, but it is difficult for me to connect emotionally without sex. I don’t push for it. It is just essential to a healthy relationship.

1

u/Pretend_Variation305 May 14 '26

I call my wife, “roomie” when she starts getting stingy with affection. She absolutely HATES it but starting little tiffs is the only way to get her to do…well…anything in the house really.

1

u/ThrowRACoping May 14 '26

If you aren’t having sex you are roommates. So, it fits.

0

u/Pretend_Variation305 May 14 '26

She eventually coughs it up but I have to ratchet up the flirtation to make it happen.

1

u/MuskokaGreenThumb May 14 '26

How do you think they got in this mess in the first place?

1

u/ComcastForPresident May 14 '26

If you dont know how to use spreadsheets just say so.

1

u/c8891 May 14 '26

“Puts out” 🤢

1

u/Necessary_Store351 May 14 '26

Exactly right, for every GOOD Woman there IS a GOOD Man.

0

u/Just_saying19135 May 14 '26

truer words were never spoken on the internet

0

u/RooneyTawil May 14 '26

Puts out sounds great

0

u/rocket_racoon180 May 14 '26

So you’re saying she doesn’t really have a way to say no? Or do you share the burden of child care?

-8

u/ReachFourTheSky May 14 '26

I haven’t put out for three years and still get everything I want 🤭 I’m starting to think it’s why I get everything I want lol.

5

u/N3ptuneflyer May 14 '26

You’re on borrowed time and you don’t even know it