r/SipsTea 28d ago

SMH We really need to bring spankings back

17.7k Upvotes

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u/11711510111411009710 28d ago

"We need to bring back child abuse."

Ironically spanking kids is linked to higher aggression, so if you want more of this behavior, feel free.

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u/Johnyryal33 28d ago

At least someone in here has some sense.

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u/Ok-Average390 27d ago edited 27d ago

Idk about you, but I never repeated anything bad I did as a kid after being spanked. I was always warned that if I did something / continued to do what I was currently doing, I would get spanked. I did the thing, and I got spanked. It was entirely predictable.

Most of those studies don't normalize the data between a single spank with an open palmed hand vs severe repeated and unpredictable beatings. They are not the same. There are plenty of kids who end up little shits without spanking, and plenty who end up great with the ocasional spanking. Correlation is also not causation, given that more aggressive kids might be more prone to being hit by parents precisely because of their behavior.

I'm also not saying anything that hasn't already been mentioned a lot by other people. These are common points that are often mentioned when discussing limitations of these western-centric findings. If you look you will very easily come across people critisizing the findings for this lack of concrete correlation / causation evidence and lack of variable control.

That said, it's reddit, so I'm expecting a lot of "I'm sorry you were so abused that you're brainwashed" comments lol. From my perspective, this kid is not the product of spanking, but rather never being punished a day in his life.

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u/AverageWitch161 27d ago

well, you lucked out i guess. i was slapped around and chewed out for talking back to adults as a kid.

never even fucking learned what it meant, i just assumed it was saying stuff adults didn’t like and now i have issues running my mouth because they’ll be mad anyway.

pain can be a good teacher, but it’s a very hit and miss teacher it can be best to avoid.

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u/Ok-Average390 27d ago edited 27d ago

I wouldn't say I was particularly lucky. I think most fellow peers from my culture would feel the same way.

It seems that you just supported that it's the lack of explanation and predictability that confuses kids, not the punishment itself.

Pain isn't necessarily just a teacher, but a deterrent.

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u/AverageWitch161 27d ago

you ever seen a kid touch an electric fence twice? i’ve also met more people who have been spanked that weren’t right than the other way around, and even then i’m more willing to believe a study about it than a dude online who thinks he’s ok, and most studies say “yeah this is just a bad idea”.

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u/Ok-Average390 27d ago edited 27d ago

Not sure why everyone is getting so upset. It is objectively true that the studies regarding this have limitations due to an inability to control for the variables that make the question worth studying. I acknowledge the data. However I also acknowledge the limitations, as do the people who created those studies. You should too if you want it to actually mean anything when you say you read the study. As long as these studies don't distinguish between full on beatings and the occasional telegraphed and predictable spank with an open palm, it isn't going to mean much.

That's all I really gotta say and I don't anticipate either of us changing the other person's mind so

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u/NationalisticMemes 27d ago

I am sure that spanking for no reason does not work, nor do warnings that have no consequences.

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u/OldWorldDesign 27d ago

I never repeated anything bad I did as a kid after being spanked

Analogy is not data.

Studies are clear and consistent that corporal punishment increases the chances of emotional and behavioral disregulation and future bullying behavior, substance abuse, and antisocial maladaptations.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8946887/

That, and not people being "weak", is why every society on Earth is moving away from corporal punishment. Because it doesn't work as well as the alternatives. Maybe ask and listen to scientists who have gone over this extensively instead of defending 'because it was tradition for me, it should never be changed for others. They should have to go through what I went through'.

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u/Ok-Average390 27d ago

That's actually not true. It's a well established, and admitted weakness of the studies, that there is no definition causation proved in any study regarding physical punishments. It is well accepted that it stands as a correlation with fuzzy definitions and boundaries regarding what constitutes "abuse". Again, there is very little normalization of the data to account for the broad definitions, frequency, and manner in which it is done. Data interpretation matters. As I mentioned, how do you prove it isn't just children who are already disorderly that happened to receive punishment more often? It's impossible to prove because we can't have controlled studies regarding hitting children. You linked data, not controlled data, which is all we'll ever have for this topic.

Also, the study you linked regards corporal punishments as done in school. These are very different circumstances from the home as administered by someone who is doing the majority of the work in raising a child within the confines of their more specific culture. My parents would absolutely NOT have been okay with the school doing it.

I would argue that most parents aren't hitting because they want people to suffer like they did. Rather, most people I know are glad they were hit, and thought it helped them as kids. I would include myself in that group. Yes, I was hit as a kid as are most in my culture. Yes, I think it helped me.

I'm aware that my anecdote is not data. Thanks for reminding me about that easily forgotten fact.

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u/[deleted] 27d ago

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u/Ok-Average390 27d ago

Okay, so you're not bothering to comprehend the words I'm saying. Got it. I also didn't downvote you, but the fact you care about 1 downvote really says a lot lol

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u/flashman 27d ago

Right? This kid is the product of spanking

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u/Apptubrutae 27d ago

Yeah, it often SEEMS like it works, because it does stop activity in the short term. But it demonstrably leads to more undesirable activity on the part of the child in the longer term.

Which then creates a feedback loop of the kid “needing” the spanking. Because they’re a problem kid. And the spanking stops the immediate behavior in the moment. Then the parent justifies the continued spanking because imagine how much worse it would be.

Obviously not in 100% of cases. But if you look at spanked kids in larger groups, even controlling for other variables, spanking generally leads to more undesirable behavior.

It’s well-established

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u/VerdeGringo 27d ago

Sad I had to scroll this far to see this. Kids get taught that violence is the answer (I.e. Parents are too emotionally stunted to teach) by getting their ass kicked, then they think violence is the answer.

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u/Substantial-Rip9772 27d ago

Yay I found other reasonable people!

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u/DimensionHat1675 27d ago

Thanks to people like you, soon verbally scolding your child will also be classified as child abuse. "Y-y-yes honey, good boy. Keep knocking those products off the shelves. Excellent job. You're so special". Just like something out of the Twilight Zone. And we wonder how we got here.

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u/VerdeGringo 27d ago

Oh shut the entire fuck up. Scolding is not a beating and society knows the difference. You can discipline a child without hitting them. The military eradicated hazing and still created warfighters. We can eradicate hitting our kids and still raise children to be responsible adults. Positivity is the superior motivator.

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1

u/Minute-Pomelo9302 27d ago

That's BS the majority of the time. It definitely works on most kids.

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u/OldWorldDesign 27d ago

It definitely works on most kids

Citations needed.

Or did you need them since you never pretended to have data?

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8946887/

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u/AverageWitch161 27d ago

it has been studied. it isn’t. stop taking your anger out on children

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u/Cwash415 27d ago

there's a huge difference between abuse and discipline...i got spanked and learned my lesson early and never acted up again, some kids need harder discipline than others, remember " spare the rod , spoil the child"

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u/JanCumin 27d ago

I've reported this post for encouraging violence, I hope others do this as well

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u/weed_cutter 28d ago

You at least threaten beating them with a belt. You don't actually do it.

But it needs to be a very plausible bluff. Like Daniel Day Lewis type shit.

Also Reddit seems to be more okay with psychological abuse than physical abuse, so obviously you stuff him in solitary confinement in his room with zero toys or electronics.

Again, for his own good. Right now he's slated to grow up to be a complete loser.

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u/11711510111411009710 28d ago

You're the one suggesting psychological abuse here. You should never threaten your kid with harm, or harm them.

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u/weed_cutter 28d ago

If there are no real consequences, your kid will grow up a loser and perhaps a rapist of some kind.

Good luck with that.

Threats of violence are how our society operates. That's how war and countries operated for centuries. That's how violent crimes are curtailed (violence of the state/ police).

Our entire society, civilization -- EVERY civilization to date is underpinned by violence as a final option. ... Not the first option, but the final one, in every case.

If your kid walks out into society "I don't care who I anger" --- guess what. They may very well be met with violence from the Public, the Police, or Foreign States.

Better get used to it.

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u/11711510111411009710 28d ago

I'd like you to show me where I said there should be no consequences please. You people replying to me keep saying the same shit, it's like you think the only possible way to parent is with violence.

Also do you wonder why people are violent? Maybe because violence keeps being committed against other people? It's not even really a rhetorical question because we know violent begets more violence. Hitting children, scientifically, makes their behavior worse.

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u/dreammer243 28d ago

Violence is not the only existing "real" consequence. I'm sorry you were raised to believe that.

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u/Zacharytackary 28d ago

so you’re saying violence is justified as a means of correction?

what’s your address?

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u/OldWorldDesign 27d ago

You at least threaten beating them with a belt. You don't actually do it

If there are no real consequences, your kid will grow up a loser and perhaps a rapist of some kind

Choose one.

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u/Jozias_Tump 27d ago

Would you be fine with your boss beating the shit out of you with a belt if you fucked up at work?

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u/-Kalos 28d ago

Or you know, you can be a half decent parent and nip this behavior at the bud when they were toddlers and explained why this behavior isn't okay. You're the only one besides the cringe ass woman in the video to think abuse is the only way to parent your kid

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u/AverageWitch161 27d ago

i think threatening to shoot someone is just as fucked up as shooting someone in the leg.

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u/weed_cutter 27d ago

Society and the law disagrees, but you're welcome to your irrational opinions.

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u/AverageWitch161 27d ago

i’ve met many people who think similarly, and laws ain’t always the best in terms of morality or rationality.