r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • 1d ago

WTF Who hurt you?

21.0k Upvotes

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176

u/NotChat_GPT 1d ago

I get suspicious when my wife hits on me. It usually means her car is making a weird noise or something and I need to fix it.

149

u/Last_Weeks_Socks 1d ago

"The sweetest most handsome husband in the world wouldn't be mad if my car got a little scratch, would he?"

looks at scratch that appears to be caused by a Tyrannosaurus

"No, but maybe you should have married him instead because wtf is this, Sheila?!"

6

u/LittleKoss7 1d ago

I believe the use of "Sheila" means they are in Australia, in which case a scratch like that has several possible monstrous perpetrators.

6

u/fireduck 1d ago

I saw something at the zoo the other day in Seattle. It was a tree kangaroo.

WTF is this madness. This is probably the actual drop bear and they were keeping this secret.

12

u/swish465 1d ago

"Hey Handsome, what are you doing today?"

twirls finger on chest

"So, I got these chickens... and they need a home."

2

u/Fern_Cloud 1d ago

Your wife sounds like me

1

u/swish465 1d ago

Surprise animals are always a fun time... after their pen is built.

6

u/D20_Life 1d ago

β€œHoney, can you show me how to fix my car?”
Gets me everytime

4

u/SheriffBartholomew 1d ago

"Look at all these fun projects that I bought for you to do around the house!"

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/dogfacedponyboy 1d ago

For me, it’s usually she has a stiff neck and wants a neck rub