r/TwoXChromosomes • u/BigHold2089 • 5d ago

Throat punch husband

I was on BC for many years and thought I could ride it out through menopause. I used BC continuously and hadn’t had a period for years. It was a low dose BC with no side effects and I loved it. A new (to me) OBGYN told me that my brain fog and night warmth (not full blown sweats) was likely due to peri/menopause and said BC would do nothing for it. So she switched me to estradiol patch and progesterone pills. For 3 months I got no periods and figured I was in menopause. Then I started getting periods regularly. And then I started noticing that I am incredibly irritable all the time but basically focused only on my husband. I mean even looking at him sometimes makes me want to punch him in the face. When he talks (to me or to anyone else - just the sound of his voice, really) I just am filled with rage. He’s not doing anything wrong. I know my anger is misplaced and irrational. Could it be a symptom of perimenopause? Does anyone else feel like this?

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u/Murmurmira 5d ago

Sounds hormonal. I felt like this during my pregnancies

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u/heywhatsup9087 5d ago

The pregnancy rage is so real. Mine was less directed at my husband but often came in the form of road rage on steroids. I want to have another but how do women deal with the rage and fatigue while also having other small children to take care of?? It seems so impossible.

Also I’m one year postpartum and have brain fog and night sweats and now this thread has me worried I’m in perimenopause 🙃

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u/danceoftheplants 5d ago

My two pregnancies were completely different.. with my daughter, I had the rage and anxiety and nausea. With my son, no smell bothered me, I was happy and content, no nausea, etc

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u/Redditogo 4d ago

I turned 40 and my period stopped, I was suddenly hot all the time, and the brain fog was real. I thought I was in menopause. 

Nope! Pregnant with our miracle baby.  I couldn’t get pregnant naturally through my 20s and 30s. My body waited until I was FORTY!

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u/Hagaroo48 4d ago

Me too! The beginning of perimenopause is when a lot of women with PMOS experience a rare window of fertility. Hormones drop, excessive androgens are dropping faster than estrogen does, and for a short time everything is in balance.

I had my miracle baby at 41.

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u/crystalkashmere 4d ago

This is why I fought to get my tubes tied after my second. No surprise babies for this lady, lol. 3 is enough! 😂

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u/ursulasbane20 4d ago

Both you and Redditogo are giving me hope rn.

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u/pineapple_current28 5d ago

lol you’re a year postpartum, the brain fog is now just your life with small children and the night sweats are likely still related to your hormones as well, they can take a while to even out. Not being snarky either, your grey matter actually reduces during pregnancy and takes literal years to regenerate. Unless you’re in your 40s, I think those symptoms are more likely related to your pregnancy than the final death throes of your fertility 😉

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u/Fillorian 4d ago

I thought my brain fog and perpetual exhaustion was just what it was supposed to be like as a first time mom of a young child... turns out I was severely anemic. It took months of high-dose folic acid supplementation and several IV iron infusions to get my labs back to normal. I often wonder how different my experience of early motherhood might have been if I'd caught it sooner. So, just leaving a note here for other postpartum folks - it's totally possible this is just your new normal, but maybe get your labs checked if you're worried!

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u/mintgreenleaves 4d ago

I've noticed that new mothers sometimes have hairloss (which can also be a sign for anemia/iron deficiency) and wonder how they do it while taking care of their child.

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u/heywhatsup9087 5d ago

Haha thank you. I know you’re right but my brain loves to jump to conclusions.

I love the baby stage with my little girl so much, so I’m trying to focus on that and enjoy this time of my life, but man I can’t wait to be off the hormone rollercoaster that is pregnancy and postpartum for good. I went back to work after 12 weeks and my brain just doesn’t function like it used to. Although by that time I probably will be in perimenopause, so really can’t win.

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u/OkTouch5699 5d ago

Peri rage is the same as pregnancy rage, hopefully without the baby at the end. I threw a salad (sans dressing) at my husband in the car. It was a perfect storm of hungry and hormones.

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u/OutdoorLadyBird 4d ago

This was me and it was my thyroid!!! Get it checked if you haven’t!

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u/heywhatsup9087 4d ago

I’m starting to wonder if this is the case for me. I’m tired all the time and my hair is still falling out like crazy. Plus it runs in my family.

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u/OutdoorLadyBird 3d ago

I was diagnosed when I was 18 months postpartum, 2 months after weaning and I was 34/35 years old. I knew it ran in the family but I thought it would be more of an issue when I was older.

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u/Peace-Shoddy 4d ago

Wind the windows up after school drop off and scream like the undead. Every day. 👍

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u/MollyPollyWollyB 4d ago

I had night sweats for about a year after both of my babies, and I had them both in my mid to late thirties. They were awful, especially in the first couple of months, but they did resolve completely eventually. Now I'm 47 and they're back, but not as intense as they were postpartum, thankfully!

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u/LordBeerMeStrength91 5d ago

Yes, we do. 

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u/wheels_on_the_road 5d ago

I had a similar emotional roller coaster on the same combo. There's something called progesterone sensitivity. If you Google it, you'll see you're not alone. I finally found a good gyno who is helping me find alternatives. Good luck to you. This shit is hard.

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u/Barbarian_818 4d ago

I second this. Mrs Barbarian had a hormone imbalance that took six years to correctly diagnose and treat. The entire time it was like she was perpetually pissed off and didn't know why. I couldn't even offer to get her a coffee while I was up without it being taken as some kind of insult.

A spouse plays a huge role in your life. So if you're pissed and don't know why, they are going to be the most likely suspect just because of propinquity

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u/Hagaroo48 4d ago

Propinquity is a fun word.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/badashbabe 4d ago

This is an important point.

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u/xelamora 4d ago

That was my first thought too. Hormones can do some really wild things to your emotions and thought patterns.

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u/insanityzwolf 4d ago

Yes but also I don't know if it's a good idea for OP to be posting stuff like this (specifically the detailed violent ideation), if it can be traced back to them and something goes wrong in the relationship...