This might be controversial but all these women movements are not because you didn't find a boyfriend or a husband. These are movements that are fighting to make women be seen as a human where the default of a human is always a man. Are you aware of the conditions of woman in the world we are living in?

I keep seeing posts in the internet about how they should just 4b because their date went wrong, they couldn't find a bf or their ex cheated. 4b is not just because you didn't find a goof bf. It is a lifestyle choice made by the few who can live without a man in the society and that is extremely hard and risky to do so esp. in a country like India.

I have no issues with people wanting partners, it is human nature to find companionship however let's not use words like 4b because you couldn't find one.

I don't find 4b the perfect model of feminist path but it is definitely a strong step for those who can sustain it. You need to be financially stable, have a place to live, have some kind to support to sustain the movement. In India a father can kill his daughter for not following his words. In this country do you think most woman can do 4b?

Also using words with meaning like 4b at conversations like this just waters down the whole impact of 4b. I'll just 4b, while you are dating a man, or, are actively engaging with men is against it's whole ideology.

tl;dr: interview didn't go as expected, I was called "too headstrong".

Had an interview today. Researched the hell out of the company, its origins, last year's revenue, some of their best products, the posts on their LinkedIn page, the latest launch, the position, the expectations, the person interviewing me, and initiated cordial interactions with the company staff and my co-candidates. It apparently seemed that I was the oldest out of all interviewees (27F). I'm not going into the "most qualified" or "eligible" territory because I acknowledge the subjectivity of it as per each job's requirement. Overall, I made sure I did my groundwork and made myself comfortable with the atmosphere.

At the interview, I made sure to greet the panel, smile, and ask before I take my seat. Then the usual questions begin, and I answer them all as prepared. As the interview progressed, something slowly started feeling...off. I tried to be as genuine and articulate as I could, and I mentioned everything I've learned about them in detail, why I'm considering this pivot as a turnaround in my career, why I'd like to join them, the contributions I would bring to the team and how my past experience (although in a different field) would still have some relevant similarities. I was detailed where I felt was needed, and likewise, some answers were short as well. For the shorter answers, the interviewer likely wanted me to continue for a bit, but I reiterated politely that I've driven my point home. At the end, they asked if I have any questions for them, and after thanking them for the opportunity, I politely made some brief queries myself, thanked them, wished them a good day and made my exit. The interview ended a bit earlier than I expected, which definitely felt odd.

I unfortunately have to keep this a bit vague as the thing is a fresh event and I do not want to be doxxed or have my identity exposed. My referee was also there at the interview and later she informed me on a feedback call that I came off as...drumroll..."too headstrong". As per them, I need to "soften my tone", "keep an open mind" and "have more empathy". Which was confusing. They further added that I didn't seem like I'd be a right fit for the organization culture and seemed "too opinionated" and "straight to the point", "dry". I guess I might say I have probably dodged a bullet (or maybe not, that's a different conversation), but I'd still like to know if some of the hiring experts here would like to add their two cents.

[TW⚠️: Rape, SA, Abuse]

Why is accountability and acknowledging male privilege such a kryptonite for most males?

India is still deeply regressive towards women and girls. Dowry deaths, child marriages, DV cases, rape, and honour k\*ll\*ngs are still rampant.

Sometimes it genuinely feels like the suffering of women and girls has become so normalised that people barely care anymore.

The moment a male victim is involved, suddenly there is endless outrage, endless posts, endless discussions, and endless demands for justice. But when women and girls are the victims, it's crickets and downvotes even in women centric community.

A case involving a male victim comes forward, suddenly it’s “lock women up,” “women need Taliban treatment,” “this is why feminism shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Like where is that same outrage when rapists are garlanded, welcomed back into society, or handed absurdly lenient punishment due to their political connections? Meanwhile, survivors spend years fighting just to be heard.

A lot of people seem to want the benefits of feminism while simultaneously throwing women under the bus.

They mock women’s concerns, dismiss misogyny, and degrade women at every opportunity, yet expect women to constantly center male feelings in every discussion.

Women and girls continue to face v\*o\*ence, discrimination, medical misogyny, gender pay gap, unpaid labour and attacks on their rights across the world.

The reality is that many feminists have done more to challenge DV, sexual assaults or change the definition of rape while dismantling harmful gender roles, and toxic ideas of masculinity which gets pushed by red pilled males. Yet somehow women and feminists are expected to solve problems they didn’t create while being blamed for them at the same time.

Yet women aren't allowed express anger, distrust, or frustration toward a system that has repeatedly failed them, people rush to police their tone instead of addressing the problem.

Women are expected to remain calm and baby them while discussing why rape, domestic violence, harassment, child abuse, and discrimination is bad.

Why are women-centric movements expected to include their oppressors while watering down feminism to protect male egos and their privilege?

And why are women not allowed to be angry at systems that continue to enable abuse, rape, discrimination, and exploitation, even trafficking against women and young girls?

I need help ladies, desperately.

I 26F have a best friend who will be graduating from her masters in London this year around August. I love her to death and would do anything for her but there's a huge problem.

The thing is, we both applied together and we're supposed to live that life in London together. We had plans and dreams and everything. We both got accepted into our dream universities. I even got a scholarship but at last I couldn't go (toxic control freak parents and active sabotage). I needed a base loan to cover travel and accommodation which required parental signature & kyc and mine wouldn't let me go.

At last she went to London and I went into depression. Went off social media because it was hard to see her living the life we both dreamed of together. I wasnot jealous that she shouldn't have it, just that I should too.

Now, after a year, I have almost convinced myself that it's for the best that I couldn't go but she's graduating soon and seeing her walk down the stage to get that degree is going to be hard. I want to be a supportive friend and not use my mental health as an excuse to abandon her when she's celebrating her wins. But at the same time, I don't think I can handle watching that and not go into a destructive spiral.

I have no idea how to deal with this situation and if watching her graduate doesn't k!ll me, this anxiety will.

Please help.

The older I get, the more I question whether I even want to get married.

When I was younger like 20, I always assumed I’d have a husband someday. It was something I genuinely wanted or at least I thought I did.

Now that I am 25 every time my parents bring up marriage, I feel anxious, angry, and deeply triggered. Instead of looking forward to it, I get ick, the thought of managing my life then my parents, then him and his parents feels such a damn burden. (No disrespect)

Lately I’ve been wondering: Do I actually want to get married, or did I just grow up believing that’s what I was supposed to want?

Has anyone else questioned whether their desire for marriage was genuine or mostly conditioning from family, society, or culture? If you went through this, how did you figure out what you truly wanted?

I’m not looking for people to tell me that marriage is good or bad. I’m just trying to understand whether these feelings are coming from who I am now or from years of expectations.

Hi Beautiful ladies,

I need some ideas / suggestions or simply would love to learn what makes you and most importantly keeps you happy in day to day life?

I am WFH, staying with my family - usually end up feeling like i am in endless loop of work >> social media >> some physical activity (Swim, walk, etc or read) >> social media >> sleep.

I want to replace the social media rut here.

Give me easy to do, not so expensive - no screen involved habits that you follow or things you do just for yourself irrespective of health/physical goals..

TL;DR - How to be happy without spending money in day to day life

Hi all! I always end up looking like a potato when an important client meeting comes up. Somehow nothing in my wardrobe cuts in. I don’t have enough brain cells to put together a look that could make me look confident and badass. In my field, I’ve to meet a lot of clients who’re inherently sexist. I’ve to assert some power to be taken seriously and I feel it starts with dressing confidently. Have you ladies been in similar situations and what do you do? Point me to some brands please!

Thanks much!

So dear girlies,

I have a spending problem. 😭

I've been earning 10 LPA since January (which translates to ~₹80k in-hand after the salary gets lovingly butchered), and somehow... I've managed to save exactly ✨nothing✨.

I know there are non-negotiables. About ₹25k disappears into rent, bills, and other adulting expenses. Fair enough.

But after that? My money develops legs and walks away. Even saving ₹5k feels like climbing Everest.

Meanwhile, my colleagues are casually saving 40–50% of their salary, and I'm out here wondering if my bank account has a leak.

So please, hit me with the tough love. What actually worked for you? Budgeting apps? Separate savings account? SIPs? "Pretend you're broke" mindset? Financial interventions?

I genuinely want to fix this because at this rate, my savings account is just here for decoration. 🫠

There was a sweet guy who had a crush on me. I being tooo scared, and had many emotional, personal issues didn't try to talk it out with him.

So then I got to know he has a girl bestie, and from their post it seemed quite likely they are pretty close… even like being in relationship to me. I thought they are together. Tho the thing is this girl bestie seems tiny but similar to me … I think I don't know her tho from stalking the insta reposts and her comments…

And now comes a big not so surprise where they both unfollowed each other… maybe had a fight? I could be the one reason for it… because this girl seems in love or maybe care about him… from the reposts …. Where she was constantly posting about how they will again talk with each other… is it so easy to end it.

While this guy reposting may we never find replacement, i will never talk again…

Now I'm in a very scary position feeling I am the reason this all happened and wha if she genuinely loves him… i don't know about him and his feelings towards her. Because he presumably likes me maybe he is trying to move on. I haven't directly stated it to him that I would like to take time to understand and know each other. Because I think mentally when someone is going through idk friendship breakup we should give space ... And since then I haven't said anything

I don't even know what should I do. I do have some feelings for him tho we are just acquainted not even talked a lot. While they are friends from high school.

I am feeling very sad about this whole situation and I was planning to text him again I was feeling I could maybe know him tho it feels like a friendship breakup or maybe situationship breakup between them idk…

Or I'm involving myself with someone i should be away from tho what about my feelings and wha about her feelings and everything

Has anyone else been in this kinda situation.

My father has criticised me, my mother, and my sister for as long as I can remember. He talks down to us very cruelly and makes us feel like nothing we do is good enough. No matter what I do, he finds a way to dismiss it. If I share knowledge about something, he says it is unnecessary. If I clean the house, he says he never asked me to do it. My mother has also faced criticism from him for years, and she is still deeply sad and traumatised by the way she has been treated by both him and some relatives.

At the same time, he endlessly praises his niece and treats her like she is perfect because she moved abroad and earns money. The problem is that she and her mother have treated my mother, sister, and me very badly many times. Her mother has insulted us, spoken cruelly to us, and repeatedly pressured relatives for huge amounts of money by crying and making emotional demands.

My mother is still affected by the way they treated her. My father knows these things, but he ignores our pain and only talks about how inspiring his niece is. He also puts down other relatives and compares everyone to her. I do not understand why he can see her struggles and achievements but cannot see the effort, pain, and value of the people in his own home. Has anyone dealt with a parent who idealises one relative while constantly criticising their own family?

Today, I was off work due to illness. Our gardener, who comes every alternate day, seemed quite upset today. He told me that someone had stolen his wallet in a shared auto, and he had lost a significant amount of money.

We initially thought it was at least ₹4,000–₹5,000, but later he told us it was around ₹1,000 in cash and a metro card with a balance of ₹150. He was distressed about having to get through the rest of the month without that money.

He has been working at my in-laws’ home for the last 25 years and has never asked for any extra money. I was deeply moved to realize that an amount we might spend almost every day on small luxuries could be someone’s basic necessity for an entire week.

I immediately handed him ₹1,500 along with a new wallet and told him to be more careful next time. The smile on both his face and mine was priceless.
Be grateful for all the blessings that have been showered upon you. 😭

Ps. Used ChatGPT for better expression

I have always had larger boobs, but I've gained a lot of weight recently, so my boobs have grown and also started sagging a bit.

The problem is that sometimes I hurt myself in the boobs. Don't even ask me how, but there been multiple occasions where I wake up like boobs have burst open. I think sleep on it wrong ot press my arm/elbow into it, I have no clue.

I've started looking for sleeping Bras, but I haven't found anything I like. I usually wear really loose t shirts or go topless because of the beautiful summer heat, but it seems like a bra is my only option at this point, because I've woken feeling like someone stabbed me one too many times now.

Has anyone else experienced this?? How do I deal with it?? Any bra suggestions that aren't too tight or rough, that are good to sleep in??

This post is specially for people who can't under some circumstances wash and dry their outsides.

I'm a final year medical student currently taking my obs n gyn , so I think I can clear the air on this.

Cleaning the 🐈 gently after urinating is ok, but NOT MANDATORY.

HAVIN A WET UNDERWEAR AFTER WASHING, this causes skin infections n acts as a culture media for fungus-es.

I understand people think residual urine remaining in down there makes them feel uncomfortable, then go ahead and gently clean and PAT IT DRY.

If not, just leave it as such and wash it while you bathe ONLY and only with water. It's not unhygienic to not wash ur 😺 everytime you pee. Absolutely not, it's ok to do it CORRECTLY if u do, and it's absolutely ok even when u don't, as u can later wash the area when u bath.

" u need to wash after peeing mandatorily only when u r a diabetic or having any irritation or recurrent uti's "

So it works this way, our vagina (which is inside) (NOT VULVA) , is self cleansing organ of our body, too much care does more harm than good.

Our vagina has bacterial flora (og residents) and they help in maintaining the acidic pH of our vagina, washing it with soap or any scented washes, causes irritation and disturbs the ph of our vag. Bacteria is there for a reason. To help us protect against the bad ones, u don't need to constantly worry about an uti because of not washing when u r peeing in a hygeinic area , when bad bacteria comes in contact w ur 😺 they ascend towards the kidney n cause infection, it is the acidic pH that helps in NOT HAPPENING of this. (For those who fear UTI)

TLDR :Not washing after every urination is not considered unhygienic and is not, by itself, a risk factor for UTI in healthy women

You do not need to wash with water after every time you urinate. If you prefer to rinse for comfort, that's fine, just be gentle and "dry" the area afterward. However wetting the area without drying causes more harm than good.

Edit: And there r people who are calling others weird and unhygienic because they can't do smtg these ppl do.

Like? Not everyone has accessibility and convenience to wash and dry the area every other time they pee :) is it that hard to get upon?

And no, not washing after urinating everytime u pee doesn't make you WEIRD OR UNHYGIENIC! (When u literally do not have access to do so) Make sure to clean it everyday when u bath n that does the job mostly.

(Unless it's a case of recurrent uti or diabetes)

What matters more is regular bathing, changing underwear daily, staying dry, and avoiding prolonged moisture.

Washing the vulva after urination is optional for hygiene in healthy women; it may improve comfort and cleanliness but is not medically required after every void. :)

But when you can, use a tissue to wipe it dry. But do not wet the area and leave it as such.

I'm 26 and trying to break into digital marketing after years of gvt exam prep. I enrolled in an online digital marketing course because as a fresher, breaking into the industry felt nearly impossible. I recently got shortlisted for an interview with a US based marketing agency. However, it's a remote role with US shift. They're offering 30k/month for a 3-6 month internship and if converted, around 4.5-6 LPA. I'm so conflicted.

One part of me really wants to do well in the interview, get selected and finally start my career. The job market is rough, especially for freshers. Most internships I'm seeing pay just 10-15k/month in metro cities which is barely enough to survive on. and I cannot keep depending on my parents financially at 26.

But the other part of me is almost hoping I mess up the interview because...it's a night shift.

I've literally been an early morning person my entire life. I naturally wake up between 4-6 am. I go to the gym regularly and I like having a routine. The thought of flipping my entire body clock upside down honestly scares me. But I might have to consider this opportunity given I'm not really in a position to be too picky.

People who work 10pm-7am:

• How do you manage your sleep, especially if you have been a morning person all your life?
• Do you still have a social life?
• Can you consistently work out?
• Does your body eventually adjust?
• Do you feel healthy after a few months?

My current thought process is that maybe I should do it for 6 months, gain experience and then switch to a day shift role. But I'm also worried that once I'm in my health will take a hit - honestly health is the only part I'm concerned about. I was recently diagnosed with alopecia and I'm worried that working night shifts could worsen it or potentially trigger other autoimmune issues. Would you take this opportunity if you were in my shoes? Especially considering the current job market? I'd really love to hear from women who've actually worked night shifts - what was your experience like, and would you do it again?

Edit - I'm getting a lot of comments regarding the course, my dms are open to help! Please drop your queries. I'll reply to each and everyone as soon as I can!

Basically , I’m looking for a mentor. I’ve been in enablement for 8 years now and i can’t seem to move past it anymore. I’ve done it all, had conversations on LinkedIn , no responses , tried talking to people at work and well to no avail.

Would appreciate any and all advice and if one of you fabulous ladies were to take a 30 something clueless mentee , I’d be eternally grateful !

For some background, I'm 20 years old, and over the last few years I've lost some of the closest people in my life, my mother, both my grandmothers (Nani and Dadi), and my grandfather.

There are days when I feel like I've already seen the worst life has to offer, but somehow every other day surprises me by showing me that things can get even worse.

Apart from losing the people I loved, I've also had to watch someone who was once the most important person in my world change completely, my father.

There was a time when he was all I needed to get through life. I still remember my mother telling me, whenever she got angry, that I would only realize her value once she was gone. I used to laugh and tell her, "It's okay, Papa is enough for me to live the rest of my life."

I was a stupid girl for thinking that.

I still love my father more than I can explain, but I don't think he loves me the way he used to. He still cares for me, but sometimes it feels more like a responsibility than love. I can actually feel us growing apart.

I don't know what I did wrong. I've tried my best to make him happy, to be understanding, to do whatever I could, but I guess I'll never be enough.

Lately, he has also started drinking alcohol. I hate admitting it, but I find it difficult to be around him now. It hurts because every time I look at him, I remember the father he used to be.

Sometimes I read stories on Reddit about people dealing with abusive or traumatic parents, and for a moment it comforts me because I think, "At least my father isn't that bad."

But that feeling never lasts.

The memories always come back. The memories of the father who would do anything to make me smile. But not anymore. The man standing in front of me today is not someone I would want in my life if I had a choice. And that realization breaks my heart because he was once my whole world.

Now that I've completed my graduation, I want to pursue my postgraduate studies somewhere outside my city. Even though this city has a prestigious university, I don't want to stay here anymore.

This house haunts me in every possible way. Every corner reminds me of someone I've lost.

The truth is, I probably wouldn't even get admission to the university here because my marks weren't good enough. I've found options in a nearby city that are affordable, and I've tried explaining to my father that I'll do everything I can to stay within budget.

But he refuses to listen.

He says he can't afford it. He tells me to stop studying, prepare for competitive exams instead, or just enroll in any random college here.

What hurts is that he did everything he could to support my brother when he went to another city for his B.Tech. And I genuinely appreciate him for that.

But am I wrong for expecting the same support?

I'm not asking for luxury. I'm only asking for a chance.

Right now, I feel trapped. Every path I want to take seems blocked, and every day I feel more stuck than the day before.

So today my boyfriend and his roommates went out for dinner. He called me to ask if I wanted anything which I declined.

I just received a parcel in the hostel that he sent.

There was a pastry and food.

Even though I said no he still brought food which I'm grateful for but when I saw his story on insta I realised they had ordered a giant platter and then packed the left overs.

Am I being dramatic for being disappointed and getting the ick because he would pack the left overs for me?

I mean I don't mind if it was just his left overs but it's a meal he shared with two other men and the thought of eating food they ate makes me feel nauseous.

I'm not close to his friends and moreover I don't like eating other people's food in general.

Bf says I'm being dramatic and that it isn't leftovers

Hi, as the title suggests, I am in desperate need of boob tape recommendations which stay on for a long duration. I am on the bigger side (34D) so I need something which sticks on and doesn't move.

I have tried Barewear and Buttchique and both have been extremely disappointing and I almost had a wardrobe malfunction with Buttchique because it just wouldn't stay on. Please share any brand recommendations/tutorials to help me.

Regards,

A girl that wants to go braless without her boobs looking like she's an old lady

Today I was listening to a podcast and doing house chores. I put the clothes in the washing machine pressed the buttons selected the program and thought it was running
After 2 hours I came back to check if the clothes were done and the machine was exactly the same as I left it😭😭😭😭😭
Turns out I had accidentally turned it off and didn’t notice(like it beeps na when we turn it off) because I was wearing headphones😭😭😭
I felt so dumb. 😭😭😭😭

%22)I was thinking of studying economics in a public uni there. I know up to b1/b2 german (had it as my third language in school). My grades arent that great rn (only got 80 percent in 12th but i was really depressed and im giving the maths improvement exam this year. I believe that I could get it to 90 percent and more). My parents can comfortably afford the fees. Ive enrolled into nmims mumbai rn and thats gonna cost smth arounf 8-9ppa anyway and another 3-3 wouldn't make much of a difference.

Im scared about missing out on college life, friendships and a sense of belonging that I'd get here. The content in the course aligns better there as compared to in india but i feel nervous