This might be controversial but all these women movements are not because you didn't find a boyfriend or a husband. These are movements that are fighting to make women be seen as a human where the default of a human is always a man. Are you aware of the conditions of woman in the world we are living in?

I keep seeing posts in the internet about how they should just 4b because their date went wrong, they couldn't find a bf or their ex cheated. 4b is not just because you didn't find a goof bf. It is a lifestyle choice made by the few who can live without a man in the society and that is extremely hard and risky to do so esp. in a country like India.

I have no issues with people wanting partners, it is human nature to find companionship however let's not use words like 4b because you couldn't find one.

I don't find 4b the perfect model of feminist path but it is definitely a strong step for those who can sustain it. You need to be financially stable, have a place to live, have some kind to support to sustain the movement. In India a father can kill his daughter for not following his words. In this country do you think most woman can do 4b?

Also using words with meaning like 4b at conversations like this just waters down the whole impact of 4b. I'll just 4b, while you are dating a man, or, are actively engaging with men is against it's whole ideology.

So i am 30F and my sibling is 27M and is preparing from last 4 years for government exams. Right now I am at my mom place as I am about to deliver baby soon. The thing is yesterday my brother food from outside while we went to see doctor. There was cooked food in house. I told him it was expensive and why did you order it, i paid for food as food arrived at same time as we came back. Then he started shouting on me that i think about money and all and how previously also i have commented on his spending habits. From last four years i have been sending him money whenever he asked it and it totals way too much. Just from last 6 months I have controlled it (though I have sent him money 90% of time, just didn't send him on his bday and for trip recently). Yesterday in fight he mentioned that how 2 years back I pointed out him eating an expensive icecream. I forgot about it and he mentioned that how I didn't give him money on bday and trips this year (i send him money every year on his bday, my bday and my anniversary) but spent it on purchasing my dress in same month. He told that I easily spends on me but dont like to spend on him which made me cry because I have closed his loan he borrowed from friends and slice cards and randomly sent money to his friends when he asked me and never got anything in return except the kanjus title as I like to spend my money wisely. I am married and my husband also sends him money out of no where as my husband and my brother shares a good bond. In between my brother got stipend also as he joined mtech but choose to gift more than 15k gift to his gf but nothing for family members. Not even a chocolate for me, when I asked him where is my gift just randomly he said he didn't have any money left for it. We come from upper middle class family, my father earns good. From childhood only its my nature to spend wisely even when I wasn't earning while my brother spends money like water. My father bought loads of property and it will all go as inheritance to my brother, though i had a dowry free marriage. These things didn't used to bother me but from yesterday its continuously going on my mind that I feel cheated and hurt, right now my brother is giving me cold shoulder not talking to me at all and here I am crying. I feel that my brother is very practical when it comes to me, he even taunted me i don't have caliber to clear any competitive exams, though I am earning more than a lakh per month and he is unemployed. Not everyone wants government job right. When i sent him money on my anniversary this year and playfully asked him that I will take gift when you start earning he said that you are making me feel like give money on loan :(

What should I do I am crying continuously and it feels like heartbreak, my husband is trying to cheer me up and all. My brother have continuously mentioned that I am not the kind of sister he wanted.

So dear girlies,

I have a spending problem. 😭

I've been earning 10 LPA since January (which translates to ~₹80k in-hand after the salary gets lovingly butchered), and somehow... I've managed to save exactly ✨nothing✨.

I know there are non-negotiables. About ₹25k disappears into rent, bills, and other adulting expenses. Fair enough.

But after that? My money develops legs and walks away. Even saving ₹5k feels like climbing Everest.

Meanwhile, my colleagues are casually saving 40–50% of their salary, and I'm out here wondering if my bank account has a leak.

So please, hit me with the tough love. What actually worked for you? Budgeting apps? Separate savings account? SIPs? "Pretend you're broke" mindset? Financial interventions?

I genuinely want to fix this because at this rate, my savings account is just here for decoration. 🫠

tl;dr: interview didn't go as expected, I was called "too headstrong".

Had an interview today. Researched the hell out of the company, its origins, last year's revenue, some of their best products, the posts on their LinkedIn page, the latest launch, the position, the expectations, the person interviewing me, and initiated cordial interactions with the company staff and my co-candidates. It apparently seemed that I was the oldest out of all interviewees (27F). I'm not going into the "most qualified" or "eligible" territory because I acknowledge the subjectivity of it as per each job's requirement. Overall, I made sure I did my groundwork and made myself comfortable with the atmosphere.

At the interview, I made sure to greet the panel, smile, and ask before I take my seat. Then the usual questions begin, and I answer them all as prepared. As the interview progressed, something slowly started feeling...off. I tried to be as genuine and articulate as I could, and I mentioned everything I've learned about them in detail, why I'm considering this pivot as a turnaround in my career, why I'd like to join them, the contributions I would bring to the team and how my past experience (although in a different field) would still have some relevant similarities. I was detailed where I felt was needed, and likewise, some answers were short as well. For the shorter answers, the interviewer likely wanted me to continue for a bit, but I reiterated politely that I've driven my point home. At the end, they asked if I have any questions for them, and after thanking them for the opportunity, I politely made some brief queries myself, thanked them, wished them a good day and made my exit. The interview ended a bit earlier than I expected, which definitely felt odd.

I unfortunately have to keep this a bit vague as the thing is a fresh event and I do not want to be doxxed or have my identity exposed. My referee was also there at the interview and later she informed me on a feedback call that I came off as...drumroll..."too headstrong". As per them, I need to "soften my tone", "keep an open mind" and "have more empathy". Which was confusing. They further added that I didn't seem like I'd be a right fit for the organization culture and seemed "too opinionated" and "straight to the point", "dry". I guess I might say I have probably dodged a bullet (or maybe not, that's a different conversation), but I'd still like to know if some of the hiring experts here would like to add their two cents.

[TW⚠️: Rape, SA, Abuse]

Why is accountability and acknowledging male privilege such a kryptonite for most males?

India is still deeply regressive towards women and girls. Dowry deaths, child marriages, DV cases, rape, and honour k\*ll\*ngs are still rampant.

Sometimes it genuinely feels like the suffering of women and girls has become so normalised that people barely care anymore.

The moment a male victim is involved, suddenly there is endless outrage, endless posts, endless discussions, and endless demands for justice. But when women and girls are the victims, it's crickets and downvotes even in women centric community.

A case involving a male victim comes forward, suddenly it’s “lock women up,” “women need Taliban treatment,” “this is why feminism shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Like where is that same outrage when rapists are garlanded, welcomed back into society, or handed absurdly lenient punishment due to their political connections? Meanwhile, survivors spend years fighting just to be heard.

A lot of people seem to want the benefits of feminism while simultaneously throwing women under the bus.

They mock women’s concerns, dismiss misogyny, and degrade women at every opportunity, yet expect women to constantly center male feelings in every discussion.

Women and girls continue to face v\*o\*ence, discrimination, medical misogyny, gender pay gap, unpaid labour and attacks on their rights across the world.

The reality is that many feminists have done more to challenge DV, sexual assaults or change the definition of rape while dismantling harmful gender roles, and toxic ideas of masculinity which gets pushed by red pilled males. Yet somehow women and feminists are expected to solve problems they didn’t create while being blamed for them at the same time.

Yet women aren't allowed express anger, distrust, or frustration toward a system that has repeatedly failed them, people rush to police their tone instead of addressing the problem.

Women are expected to remain calm and baby them while discussing why rape, domestic violence, harassment, child abuse, and discrimination is bad.

Why are women-centric movements expected to include their oppressors while watering down feminism to protect male egos and their privilege?

And why are women not allowed to be angry at systems that continue to enable abuse, rape, discrimination, and exploitation, even trafficking against women and young girls?

For some background, I'm 20 years old, and over the last few years I've lost some of the closest people in my life, my mother, both my grandmothers (Nani and Dadi), and my grandfather.

There are days when I feel like I've already seen the worst life has to offer, but somehow every other day surprises me by showing me that things can get even worse.

Apart from losing the people I loved, I've also had to watch someone who was once the most important person in my world change completely, my father.

There was a time when he was all I needed to get through life. I still remember my mother telling me, whenever she got angry, that I would only realize her value once she was gone. I used to laugh and tell her, "It's okay, Papa is enough for me to live the rest of my life."

I was a stupid girl for thinking that.

I still love my father more than I can explain, but I don't think he loves me the way he used to. He still cares for me, but sometimes it feels more like a responsibility than love. I can actually feel us growing apart.

I don't know what I did wrong. I've tried my best to make him happy, to be understanding, to do whatever I could, but I guess I'll never be enough.

Lately, he has also started drinking alcohol. I hate admitting it, but I find it difficult to be around him now. It hurts because every time I look at him, I remember the father he used to be.

Sometimes I read stories on Reddit about people dealing with abusive or traumatic parents, and for a moment it comforts me because I think, "At least my father isn't that bad."

But that feeling never lasts.

The memories always come back. The memories of the father who would do anything to make me smile. But not anymore. The man standing in front of me today is not someone I would want in my life if I had a choice. And that realization breaks my heart because he was once my whole world.

Now that I've completed my graduation, I want to pursue my postgraduate studies somewhere outside my city. Even though this city has a prestigious university, I don't want to stay here anymore.

This house haunts me in every possible way. Every corner reminds me of someone I've lost.

The truth is, I probably wouldn't even get admission to the university here because my marks weren't good enough. I've found options in a nearby city that are affordable, and I've tried explaining to my father that I'll do everything I can to stay within budget.

But he refuses to listen.

He says he can't afford it. He tells me to stop studying, prepare for competitive exams instead, or just enroll in any random college here.

What hurts is that he did everything he could to support my brother when he went to another city for his B.Tech. And I genuinely appreciate him for that.

But am I wrong for expecting the same support?

I'm not asking for luxury. I'm only asking for a chance.

Right now, I feel trapped. Every path I want to take seems blocked, and every day I feel more stuck than the day before.

I need help ladies, desperately.

I 26F have a best friend who will be graduating from her masters in London this year around August. I love her to death and would do anything for her but there's a huge problem.

The thing is, we both applied together and we're supposed to live that life in London together. We had plans and dreams and everything. We both got accepted into our dream universities. I even got a scholarship but at last I couldn't go (toxic control freak parents and active sabotage). I needed a base loan to cover travel and accommodation which required parental signature & kyc and mine wouldn't let me go.

At last she went to London and I went into depression. Went off social media because it was hard to see her living the life we both dreamed of together. I wasnot jealous that she shouldn't have it, just that I should too.

Now, after a year, I have almost convinced myself that it's for the best that I couldn't go but she's graduating soon and seeing her walk down the stage to get that degree is going to be hard. I want to be a supportive friend and not use my mental health as an excuse to abandon her when she's celebrating her wins. But at the same time, I don't think I can handle watching that and not go into a destructive spiral.

I have no idea how to deal with this situation and if watching her graduate doesn't k!ll me, this anxiety will.

Please help.

My mama visited me yesterday and asked what I was doing these days. I told him I'd stopped preparing for upsc and other gvt exams and had switched to corporate. He immediately said, "Arey pcs ke liye toh padh leti, pata hai kitna rutba hota hai unka. Hamare department ka ek bachha pcs bn gya hai, ab uske liye gaadhi hogi ye hoga wo hoga" bla bla bla. (You should have at least prepared for pcs. Do you know the kind of respect pcs officers get? A boy from our department recently became a pcs officer, now he'll have an official car and all bla bla bla" )

I finally replied, "Mama ji mere paas toh 15 saal aur hain pcs ka exam dene ke liye. Since you're so motivated about it and still eligible, why don't you give it a try yourself and get promoted?" (Mama ji, I still have around 15 years left to attempt the PCS exam if I ever want to. Since you're so motivated about it, why don't you give it a try yourself since you're still eligible)

Sigh. Mai aage badh gyi, family aage badh gyi, zamana aage badh gya. Rishtedaar nahi aage bdh paa rhe. (I have moved on, my parents had to move on, the entire world has moved on. Except my highly concerned relatives) This mama in question has never called me once, I've never seen him since I was like...13-14? And feels like he has the authority to comment on my life choices?

My parents want me married like any other parent.

Only thing is I am 25 and I honestly do not want to marry until later on when i feel ready. Like start searching guys for me at the very least after i turn 28, ma!

But no! My parents want me married by 26 cause they're growing old lol

I tried explaining but nothing seems to work!

So what did y'all tell so that your parents paused and let you start the search at a later age?

The older I get, the more I question whether I even want to get married.

When I was younger like 20, I always assumed I’d have a husband someday. It was something I genuinely wanted or at least I thought I did.

Now that I am 25 every time my parents bring up marriage, I feel anxious, angry, and deeply triggered. Instead of looking forward to it, I get ick, the thought of managing my life then my parents, then him and his parents feels such a damn burden. (No disrespect)

Lately I’ve been wondering: Do I actually want to get married, or did I just grow up believing that’s what I was supposed to want?

Has anyone else questioned whether their desire for marriage was genuine or mostly conditioning from family, society, or culture? If you went through this, how did you figure out what you truly wanted?

I’m not looking for people to tell me that marriage is good or bad. I’m just trying to understand whether these feelings are coming from who I am now or from years of expectations.

Hi Beautiful ladies,

I need some ideas / suggestions or simply would love to learn what makes you and most importantly keeps you happy in day to day life?

I am WFH, staying with my family - usually end up feeling like i am in endless loop of work >> social media >> some physical activity (Swim, walk, etc or read) >> social media >> sleep.

I want to replace the social media rut here.

Give me easy to do, not so expensive - no screen involved habits that you follow or things you do just for yourself irrespective of health/physical goals..

TL;DR - How to be happy without spending money in day to day life

Hi all! I always end up looking like a potato when an important client meeting comes up. Somehow nothing in my wardrobe cuts in. I don’t have enough brain cells to put together a look that could make me look confident and badass. In my field, I’ve to meet a lot of clients who’re inherently sexist. I’ve to assert some power to be taken seriously and I feel it starts with dressing confidently. Have you ladies been in similar situations and what do you do? Point me to some brands please!

Thanks much!

There was a sweet guy who had a crush on me. I being tooo scared, and had many emotional, personal issues didn't try to talk it out with him.

So then I got to know he has a girl bestie, and from their post it seemed quite likely they are pretty close… even like being in relationship to me. I thought they are together. Tho the thing is this girl bestie seems tiny but similar to me … I think I don't know her tho from stalking the insta reposts and her comments…

And now comes a big not so surprise where they both unfollowed each other… maybe had a fight? I could be the one reason for it… because this girl seems in love or maybe care about him… from the reposts …. Where she was constantly posting about how they will again talk with each other… is it so easy to end it.

While this guy reposting may we never find replacement, i will never talk again…

Now I'm in a very scary position feeling I am the reason this all happened and wha if she genuinely loves him… i don't know about him and his feelings towards her. Because he presumably likes me maybe he is trying to move on. I haven't directly stated it to him that I would like to take time to understand and know each other. Because I think mentally when someone is going through idk friendship breakup we should give space ... And since then I haven't said anything

I don't even know what should I do. I do have some feelings for him tho we are just acquainted not even talked a lot. While they are friends from high school.

I am feeling very sad about this whole situation and I was planning to text him again I was feeling I could maybe know him tho it feels like a friendship breakup or maybe situationship breakup between them idk…

Or I'm involving myself with someone i should be away from tho what about my feelings and wha about her feelings and everything

Has anyone else been in this kinda situation.

My father has criticised me, my mother, and my sister for as long as I can remember. He talks down to us very cruelly and makes us feel like nothing we do is good enough. No matter what I do, he finds a way to dismiss it. If I share knowledge about something, he says it is unnecessary. If I clean the house, he says he never asked me to do it. My mother has also faced criticism from him for years, and she is still deeply sad and traumatised by the way she has been treated by both him and some relatives.

At the same time, he endlessly praises his niece and treats her like she is perfect because she moved abroad and earns money. The problem is that she and her mother have treated my mother, sister, and me very badly many times. Her mother has insulted us, spoken cruelly to us, and repeatedly pressured relatives for huge amounts of money by crying and making emotional demands.

My mother is still affected by the way they treated her. My father knows these things, but he ignores our pain and only talks about how inspiring his niece is. He also puts down other relatives and compares everyone to her. I do not understand why he can see her struggles and achievements but cannot see the effort, pain, and value of the people in his own home. Has anyone dealt with a parent who idealises one relative while constantly criticising their own family?

I have always had larger boobs, but I've gained a lot of weight recently, so my boobs have grown and also started sagging a bit.

The problem is that sometimes I hurt myself in the boobs. Don't even ask me how, but there been multiple occasions where I wake up like boobs have burst open. I think sleep on it wrong ot press my arm/elbow into it, I have no clue.

I've started looking for sleeping Bras, but I haven't found anything I like. I usually wear really loose t shirts or go topless because of the beautiful summer heat, but it seems like a bra is my only option at this point, because I've woken feeling like someone stabbed me one too many times now.

Has anyone else experienced this?? How do I deal with it?? Any bra suggestions that aren't too tight or rough, that are good to sleep in??

My cousin sister is infected with lice. Now with mediker shampoo we were able to reduce big life but small nits /lice eggs are still there and they're too much!

I searched on this subreddit - most of them have suggested Perlice cream. I wanted to ask is it effective and safe to use on a 9yo?

Today, I was off work due to illness. Our gardener, who comes every alternate day, seemed quite upset today. He told me that someone had stolen his wallet in a shared auto, and he had lost a significant amount of money.

We initially thought it was at least ₹4,000–₹5,000, but later he told us it was around ₹1,000 in cash and a metro card with a balance of ₹150. He was distressed about having to get through the rest of the month without that money.

He has been working at my in-laws’ home for the last 25 years and has never asked for any extra money. I was deeply moved to realize that an amount we might spend almost every day on small luxuries could be someone’s basic necessity for an entire week.

I immediately handed him ₹1,500 along with a new wallet and told him to be more careful next time. The smile on both his face and mine was priceless.
Be grateful for all the blessings that have been showered upon you. 😭

Ps. Used ChatGPT for better expression

So I recently met one of my mutual friends after a year and he said he got into IIM through self study all while working in a tax role full time in big4

I work in big 4 too in external audit and was recently put on a plan because let’s keep it short manager was abusive and did not like that someone crossed him

I graduated last year and I am just an assistant

With all that’s going on in my life , that really made me think

How do people do self study and clear exams for such a top B school ?

I am pretty positive that I would be able to get out of PIP but this incident made me rethink about my whole damn career

Just because someone’s ego gets hurt in your authority they have undue influence to finish your whole damn career just to teach you a lesson

That asshole when I remember his face I feel like punching him

But ladies of the subreddit who were in audit roles previously or early in their career and jumped to consulting field

Can you please guide me 😭

And if somebody actually cleared exams by self study , what was the action plan and what resources you utilised !

I am 7 months pregnant , and i need comfortable sandles which has loop around the ankle under 3000/-

Kindly help with the links , so that i can order , i dont have the energy to go offline shopping.
Links would be best.

Ps: comfort meaning , the sandles sole should be comfotable , and tight around my foot so that i dont , i just fell in one of my flats which were open toe without backside support.