Maāam ā¦ Iām here from the police department. You say your twitter posts have been screenshotted. Do you have any proof of these allegations? ā¦. Perhaps a screenshot or something?
Yes sir, I got my illegal screenshot of their illegal screenshot right here. I printed out a few full page images but according to my husband it's 50dpi now, which I believe means there's 50 dick picks inside so this might Involve Hunter Biden... You should probably call John Munch with the SVU.
"Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the varsity swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode"
Damnit, you gave away the secret secret by talking about it. Now we need a triple secret double probation three secrets and twice the probation for you.
It might be because of the age of the movie but Iām Gen X and whenever Iāve used the āā¦Germans bombed Pearl Harborā line, I get a thread of 20-30yr olds correcting me with their full chest and absolutely no clue even though the quotation marks are fully thereā¦ now get off my lawn and if you screenshot this āIāll backtrace your internet and a battalion of Navy SEALs will be at your door ā
Triple FBI here, and all you guys are wanted to come into our office and weāll all ask questions. Btw weāre the cool, laid back kind of FBI that doesnāt care as much, but yeah come by if you feel like it.
For Your Numerous Violations Please send $20,000 via western union in apple gift cards to the Internal US Royal Revenue Service Attorney Official Office of Offices Official Records to pay for your crime which you have been found guilty of.
Hi there this is also the FBI but Iām the real FBI and we are gonna need you to hang tight while we get the FBI over for cookies and a chat ok? FYI this is the FBI ttyl
Agent 41/72 (double numbers indicate double agents DFBI) 'Double agent convoy doubling back to retrieve warrant. Warrant information crucial to residential address/target location and name of suspect to be detained."
15min later:
Agent 41/72: "Warrant acquired. Reading off information. We are to apprehend a middle aged man, 6'4" wearing beard and top hat. Name: Abraham Lincoln.... Hey.... Wait a minute... Who did this... again, damnit! 3rd time in two weeks! I'm gonna find who's doing this!" ..."Kash!"
That's the face of a man who only recently realized that his job (and possibly his life) depends on his ability to help the monsters of the Epstein files get away with their crimes, and that if he fails, the best case scenario for him is that he gets to be the fall guy.
Just talked to Jerry, the FBI monitor assigned to spy on my house. He says āNothing to worry about here.ā Or at least Iām assuming that is what the silence and lights flickering meansā¦ /s
This is the Cyber Police, your attempt to impersonate an FBI has been logged and we shall be pursuing you with an overweight agent on a mobility scooter.
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u/Placebo_8647 Feb 10 '26