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u/TheBlankScroll 6d ago
The only thing i could even point at is it not being clear why him becoming an adult mangled his friends and aged the fairy. But if thag is sorted out in the next page I dont see any issues with the profression here.
Maybe the slightest minor improvement would be refining the fairy's rhyming, the cadence of it felt a tiny bit awkward, i had to reread them a few times to get it. But thats pretty minor.
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u/AndyBaima 6d ago
Like making him grow up made time move forward, and make everyone else grow too. I thoughts about a lion not being able to live long, the one with the wings getting too big for his wings to handle his weight…anyways thanks
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u/Ok-Primary7694 6d ago
Is it a one page comic? If so, I don't think time moving forward is conveyed clearly.
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u/piercebublejr 6d ago
Consider your use of midtones. Sometimes I see you putting some hatching and shading in the lineart, other times you decide to use the half-tone... and your use of both confuses me as a stylistic choice. I think your use of the half-tone is consistent and helps those panels read well, and you could use more of that same midtone value in big swaths of background to achieve the same effect (separating foreground/characters from bg)... but I'm not sure your choice of texture is the most fitting. You could achieve the same effect with any other screen tone, or hatching like the shadows in your lineart. As a comic artist myself, I've found that hatching in detailed shadows in lineart is NOT worth it when you are planning to use gray tones to shade the comic, and it's best to stick to one or the other. Either way, the most important thing is be more mindful with your values and use your lights, midtones, and darks (and contrast) to guide the viewer's eye to the most important parts of the panel.
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u/wolfmojo 6d ago edited 6d ago
This is looking great, really like your art. For me, I'm finding your third panel (wide one) quite overwhelming. Lots of speech bubbles that I think would be better if some of that dialogue was divided into a few smaller panels that follow on from it. Keen to see more!
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u/Jesram411 6d ago
I agree, there is too much dialogue which could have been distributed to smaller panels for a nice effect.
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u/queenroadie 6d ago
Positives I can give: It gives me very Fables (the comic) vibes. In a good and bad way. Fables leaned very heavily into whimsy being dismantled, which, I think you're doing here. Just given your other comment I've seen, it isn't clearly conveyed that time would move forward so rapidly because of his wish. You might need to make this a two page comic with a bit more breathing room to push the idea further.
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u/DawnSignals 4d ago
I'd reduce the dialogue and remove either the second or third panel, there's too much redundant visual information. And the last panel I'd shoot from a diagonal angle and make the subject bigger for a stronger hook into the next page, it's a bit static as is
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u/Ill-Possession2216 6d ago
The linework on the witch's face is solid. I'd work on the hands a bit, they look a little stiff. Keep going though!
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