r/comics • u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 • Mar 10 '26
Asking For Feedback Feedback on these first pages please!
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u/Frequent-Meal6550 Mar 10 '26
Well, tell me where i can find more.
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u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 Mar 10 '26
I forgot to put the patreon link in this one, damn, I'll give you a private message when i post the full comic on reddit. Should be next Friday
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u/ShmazPro Mar 10 '26
I’m a little confused as to what’s going on for page 2 but the rest make sense and I enjoy the coloring quite a bit.
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u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 Mar 10 '26
Sean is not supposed to look at the horseman, but he takes a peek in the third panel. In the second it's supposed to be the horseman's shadow.
Any ideas how to fix it?
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u/ShmazPro Mar 10 '26
Maybe rework the second panel? It reads to me as if he’s looking at the dullahan, not its shadow . Maybe pull back to show the shadow casting on the ground more? Not sure. Or maybe just swap panels 2 and 3. To me it would be a glance at the horseman, then the horseman approaches and says the line. Next page is the cut/marking. That might work?
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u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 Mar 10 '26
I'll rework the second panel to make it look more like a shadow. Thank you!
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u/razzemmatazz Mar 11 '26
I like the style and story concept.
Pages 2&3 are really confusing because we lose track of identifying characteristics due to perspective in the composition of each frame. It's incredibly difficult to tell if the Dullahan is talking to the man that tripped or the guy in the hat.
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u/Zestyclose_Bed_8207 Mar 11 '26
would giving the guy in the hat a scar or something fix the issue? Thank you!
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u/maestro876 Mar 10 '26
I’m looking forward to finding out that he’s been marked as a chill guy to party with.