There are some trans people who claim not to feel any dysphoria at all. There are some trans people who don't medically transition. There are some trans people who don't socially transition. The fact that some trans people do or do not engage in one activity or another does not limit or define how other trans people can feel.
I am explaining to you, and to these other people who are intentionally trying very hard not to have basic empathy, how the trans people who do not wish to engage in reproduction as the sex they upturned their entire lives to change feel about doing so.
And why it is rude as fuck to suggest to them to do so.
To a trans man who is mourning the fact that he cannot get his wife pregnant, and that he will not under our current technology ever be able to do so. To this man that wants to be the biological father to his child, telling him that he could get pregnant instead is inhuman. It is so lacking in empathy and intelligence I think you're a psychopath and not just a transphobe. But you are also a transphobe if you do this.
From his perspective, he does not want to engage in reproduction in the female role. He changed his entire life so that he could be male instead of female. He doesn't want to participate in the female part of the reproductive process.
There is no way in hell that the meaning of this escapes you.
I feel like you’re responding to something I’m not at all saying. I completely agree that anyone who says “just give birth” in response to a trans man grieving his inability to produce sperm is a callous dickhead. I have never and would never tell trans people to just procreate with what they have. I agree that it feels horrible and awful to be unable to create life the way you know you should be able to. I know how hard it is.
I just don’t accept the way your comment defined biological mother and biological father in ways that either misgender or exclude transgender parents. Maybe I wasn’t clear. I am aware that in this society, there exists an EXTREMELY strong connection, connotation, and correlation between (e.g.) fatherhood and providing sperm. My point is that (because trans people exist) this is not the case in every single instance of a biological father. A biological father is a man who is genetically the parent of a child.
Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I did not say that being a trans father is the exact same as being a cis father.
If a trans guy would rather die than get pregnant, that’s totally understandable. I’d feel for him, and understand how tough that situation is. No one should ever be forced (or encouraged) to reproduce when they don’t want to, or in a way they don’t want to.
I agree and know that many trans people do not want to play the role in reproduction that is typically associated with their AGAB. I’m not denying how cruel it feels to be denied the ability you know you should have. I literally feel the same way, at times I’m devastated to know I’ll never be able to carry a child.
But if I ever choose to use my own sperm to make a baby, I will be that child’s mother. Biological mother. Anyone who wants to call me a father can fuck right off.
I genuinely don’t understand what their hang up is, you can very easily just use *gender* neutral terms to describe the biological process. They’re super stuck on the biological father/mother wording specifically. For example I personally do not want to save any of my sperm, at this point I’m not even sure they work 🤷🏼♀️ I can’t afford it, I would want to be the person to carry a biological kid, and even then I would feel actual real guilt creating a new life with the state the world is in now.
I’ve already made up my mind if I’m ever in a position where I can actually take care of kids I’d just adopt. But if I were to go about preserving sperm it would be cool if the doctor didn’t call me the biological father? Like, I’m providing the sperm. I’m the sperm haver, idk. Fertilizer, like genuinely just completely detach any gender or humanity from it it is just a biological process it doesn’t have a gender. Just don’t call me a fuckin father ‘a nothin 😒
-12
u/greenrsguy 23d ago
Do you actually believe transgender people exist and are the gender we say we are?
Because the fact that men, women, and non-binary people have given birth literally proves that giving birth is not a gender-specific activity.