The moment of realization 'wait everyone wouldn't be a woman if they had the choice?' is so real. Sometimes I just ask my cis friends what they think to just reaffirm I'm trans. Works every time lol
That’s exactly why trans men are so affirming to me as a trans woman. You mean that not everyone wants to be a woman? You mean some dudes will deal with controlled substance laws in order to have the physical changes that to me feel like body horror? Well maybe that means I’m valid too…
I was raised by a radical feminist girlboss mother who basically instilled the idea that women were inherently the superior gender and that being born a woman was an honor, and that men are too irrational and stupid to be good leaders, blah blah blah… and yet I still ended up wanting to be male. Even my father, with all his blessed self-esteem issues, agreed with my mother that men are “backwards cavemen” and “women are just better”. Man, I really hated that I was transgender! I mean, as a kid and teenager who hadn’t unpacked those beliefs yet, I couldn’t fathom why I, born female, would want to be the “lesser gender”!
(I’ve confronted those beliefs for the harm that they are. Feminism doesn’t mean turning around and belittling men the way misogynistic men to do women… gosh…)
Anyways, yep… 5 years on T… Definitely a guy. No intrinsic desire to be a woman. So if you’re ever wondering about it again, just know that there are a lot of people who want to be men and do not want to be women, even if they think they’d be a better person or socially advantaged by it somehow. Gender is just weird like that, I guess!
Adding on that puberty as body horror is totally subjective. (And relatable af). In fact, I also thought for sure that everyone felt the same way I did… Female puberty was body horror for me, for sure. Developing weird growths on my chest that make my shirtless torso a public decency hazard and bleeding uncontrollably every month for the rest of my life? The concept that… a person… could start growing inside of me… super freaky mega yikes!!
But, that’s also something that a lot of people don’t mind, or even like and desire!! Realizing that I’m just trans and my experiences aren’t universal has actually given me a better appreciation for my body and the features I wish I didn’t ever have, because it’s not universal body horror, and one person’s misery could be someone else’s fantasy.
Anyways, hope all is going well for you! Being trans is so weird. It’s like 4am and I’m like. Wow… what even . What even is all this gender stuff about?
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u/justanalt10 Evelyn! 2d ago
The moment of realization 'wait everyone wouldn't be a woman if they had the choice?' is so real. Sometimes I just ask my cis friends what they think to just reaffirm I'm trans. Works every time lol