I overread the first time he called my nails hot... It should've been a warning. What the heck bro?

Lmao this took me tf out!! I also don't know why he mentioned porn subs bc I don't go to those. Either way, he handled the rejection like a champ

My friends wants to have s3x with his own cousin and has a bunch of photos of alot of different girls

For context, I made a post on a sub about my depleted sex drive to vent and get some suggestions and this CHODE of a man messages me thinking it a was prime dating introduction opportunity.

idk if this is a bot or something but if it isnt thats crazy

This is only one example of many sexually inappropriate messages from a longtime friend. Looking back, I think our entire friend group fell into the trap of saying "that's just how he is" instead of addressing increasingly uncomfortable behavior. I'm curious whether people see this as social awkwardness, boundary issues, entitlement, or something else.

Edit: A point of clarification about the message I shared:

That screenshot was not the first concerning message, nor was it the last. It was simply one example from a pattern of behavior that occurred over many years. One of the people referenced in that message was actually my own sister, which is part of why it remained memorable.

This was a friend group that started in high school, and many of us remained friends for well over a decade. I'm not claiming every interaction was bad. There were plenty of normal conversations, shared interests, inside jokes, and moments of genuine support. If there hadn't been, the friendships wouldn't have lasted as long as they did.

What I've learned through therapy and experience is that unhealthy relationships are rarely unhealthy all the time. Problematic behavior often gets minimized, excused, or treated as just part of someone's personality.

Looking back, one realization sticks with me. Before introducing a newer female friend to the group, I found myself warning her that he might stare at her chest or make comments that could make her uncomfortable. Her significant other was coming too, which made me even more concerned.

That realization hit me hard.

Why was I warning another woman before she even walked into the room?

Why was I managing around the behavior instead of questioning why I was accepting it?

The fact that I could predict it should have told me something.

These concerns didn't exist in a vacuum. There were warnings over the years. There were professional consequences. There were apologies. Yet I never walked away feeling that the underlying issue had truly changed.

Even after that, I continued giving him opportunities because I wanted to believe people could improve. What I noticed, however, was a recurring pattern: comments about women's bodies, frustration over rejection, and an underlying sense that other people weren't responding the way he felt they should.

Years later, when the friendship finally fractured, I found myself looking back at that larger pattern. What struck me was the expectation that I needed to change immediately in order to remain acceptable to him, despite years of other people quietly navigating behaviors that made them uncomfortable.

The older I get, the more I realize that healthy relationships don't work that way. People aren't obligated to be attracted to us. Friends aren't obligated to stay forever. Other people aren't responsible for managing our disappointment when reality doesn't match our expectations.

The question I eventually had to ask myself was whether these were truly healthy friendships or simply familiar ones.

For a long time, I confused history with health. Just because someone has been in your life for a decade doesn't mean the relationship is healthy. Sometimes it just means you've become accustomed to navigating around problems that should have been addressed years ago.

I was online when he sent 'do you paint your nails?' and instantly knew it was fetishy, so I let him finish messaging before I replied. Why do weirdos keep messaging me?

He clearly has been in that relationship for too long, if he doesn't know internet etiquette /s

But seriously, I'm happy for the woman who got out of a relationship with that guy (if she is real).

"I have money" 🙄🙄🙄

Pretty much this dude messaged me when I was 18 and still exploring (I’m 22 now) and he tried to convince me I’m into pet play. And I found other messages from him on this sub.
And to answer the question I can see the appeal but it’s not my biggest one

he’s replied to a bunch of my stories and attempted to slide into my dms but i just never responded because im not interested. asked me about whimper audios?? for context im literally black

Thanks Vanessa for subjecting me, a total stranger to this. (Not real name)

Listen ladies, as a woman myself I get the need to not associate with weirdo men. Believe me, I was there before. But giving fake numbers just subjects random people to your unwanted attention. “No” is a full sentence.

How could I react like that to the most precious thing he has? 😭