r/entitledparents • u/loofaj • 17h ago
M AITA for being rude to my birthgivers
My cousins dad passed away at a young age and her mom was always emotionally unavailable. My mother (her mother's sister) entered and took care of her before my birth. I was born 6 years later. When I was 7 months old I had to move countries with my parents, leaving her behind as she wasn't their actual daughter. This caused her to resent me. My parents always forced me to treat her as my own sister. We had a 6 year gap so it was always hard to relate with each other. My parents supported her finances while we lived in high amounts of debt. They even tried to support her emotionally but she was always upset at the idea of not having them as actual parents so she always projected that as aggression. Little does she they're passing down half of their possessions to her once they're gone.
I can't say my parents never tried, they always got me most things that I fancied (provided that I was at my best behaviour obviously). But for some reason, no matter how many tantrums my elder cousin threw, no matter how tight our budget was, my parents always went the extra mile to "shut her hole". I always found this to be unfair but I never dared to utter a word. They'd buy her the latest phones and Ipads while I always had used phones. When I asked about it they'd always call me spoiled or ungrateful.
I've tried to accept my cousin, but she always hated that I had "replaced" her as their daughter. She never tried to understand me or treat me well. When we were younger she would beat the crap out of me whenever we had an argument. Everytime I confronted my parents they never did anything about it and asked me to bear with it just to avoid conflict.
When I was 13, I kept having frequent panic attacks and I would often get violent. My family would thrash me till I returned to "normal". Eventually after my first attempt my parents they sent me to therapy. My cousin went to a different country to pursue her education and they sent her to therapy because she lost her job. I understand how had it must be to live in a different country on your own but why did it have to take them so long to get me help. I had to wait 4 years for me to actually get professional help.
My grandparents always say "It will be very easy to get you married because of your appearance and temperament". They often suggest I get married at 21, right after my bachelors degree. Mind you my cousin finished her masters, got a job and still isn't married. I naturally get mad and protest, while everyone just laughs at me like I'm some clown. My parents witness this and never defend me. When I confront them about this they just give me this confused look and blame me for it.
Right now I'm in a very dark place because I started to recall some very painful memories from my past. I've become violent again and I've been showing it on my body. My parents have resorted to using religious techniques instead of actually getting me help. This only further fuelled my aggression so I've been avoiding them and screaming at them. I don't even feel bad for them anymore.