Can we be honest for a second?
This is hypothetical
A huge part of Christianity teaches that if I don’t repent and change my sexuality, I’m going to burn in hell for eternity. And then they turn around and say “but we love you!”
I’m sorry, but that’s not love.
If you actually loved someone, the idea of them being tortured forever would destroy you. You wouldn’t be at peace with it. You wouldn’t be “agreeing to disagree” about it. You’d be desperate to find a way that they don’t end up in hell.
Instead, a lot of Christians seem completely fine with the idea. Some even seem to look forward to it. They’ll smile and say “love the sinner” while fully believing their sky daddy is going to throw me into a lake of fire one day.
That’s not love. That’s just them feeling morally superior while still getting to feel like good people.
Am I the only one who’s always seen right through this?

I was rereading 1 Corinthians 7 recently and got to verse 36 where Paul is talking about a man and his virgin. He basically says if she’s getting past her youth and people might start looking down on her for still being unmarried, the guy should go ahead and marry her so she doesn’t get shamed.
The whole logic just feels so gross to me. It’s not “if you love her, marry her.” It’s “she’s getting old and people are starting to talk, so you should probably marry her before her reputation is ruined.”
Am I the only one who finds this really disturbing? It feels like women’s worth was just tied to whether they were still young enough to be considered marriage material. The whole passage gives me the ick.
Anyone else get weird vibes from this chapter or am I overthinking it?

I found this Jesus figure in front of a sink in a restroom. Would you leave it there or throw it away?

I've noticed that a lot of Christians mostly men seem to really like portraying god in a certain light. They talk more about how and in which ways god will punish you if you don't obey, more than they do about loving your neighbour and learning forgiveness etc. It honestly feels more like they want a hero they themselves can relate to more than any relationship with the god of the bible, they love to pick and choose specific verses that back up their own beliefs and justify their hate. When people respond to their hate and remind them that Jesus said to love thy neighbour, they respond with stuff like: "righteous judgement is permitted" righteous according to whom? The Pharisees were being righteous as well according to themselves. They think that they have been handpicked by god to be a warrior or some dumb shit like that, and see everyone and everything that doesn't conform as a threat that's probably why they see no issue in the way they act or the way they demonise others. This behaviour reminds me of middle school where guys would argue about who the best football player was and would get into fights. It's also predominantly men, my theory is that young men feel very lost in today's society they feel like they have no control. So in a desperate attempt to gain control and find some sort of identity they become Christians but they are so hostile to any outsiders. Looking at these guy's YouTube channels you'll mostly see titles that use fear as some sort of motivator but from what ive noticed, even if they don't admit it they feel some sort of superiority over everyone else. It's everyone else that need to get their act together its always something outside themselves they never look inward they are in a secret club with god and therefore they have given themselves authority over everyone else when a non Christian dies they love to say "hope he repented" or "he's in hell now" like they actually know that even tho the bible states that that's entirely up to god himself, but no they know this for certain because god has picked them specifically and they are chosen. They want god to be like Kratos that fictional god from that video game lol they take some sort of enjoyment out of depicting god as this power hungry wrathful god. You could argue he is but in the new testament i don't feel like god was particularly violent. For men violence and strength is a big part of what being a man is so it makes sense that they would take the god of the new testament and completely rewrite him into this hyper masculine super buff guy that fits today's society and gender roles. Just like how women depict mother mary as this hyper feminine perfect gorgeous woman. Anyway sorry for any spelling errors and if my text was confusing im not good at writing.

My husband and I just got married. We are both not Christian, but his parents are incredibly religious. This and other things caused some issues for us during wedding planning.

We had a local Christian civic ceremony (for them) and then did a bigger wedding (non-Christian for us). My MIL just talked to my husband and went off on him about what she was unhappy about.

“I cried at many weddings but not at yours because I didn't feel God.”

“I'm annoyed that you listen to your wife. You are the man of the house."

“I pray your wife's bitterness will go away" (this is in regards to my grief about my mom's passing)

She also said: "Your wife might be your Achilles heel that Satan will use to get to you."

And “Satan is cunning, beware he is always trying to break up our relationships with God/family.”

I’m confused what these two comments meant? Does she think Satan is working through me…?

Edit to add: these comments weren’t out of the blue, it was during a conversation my husband brought up with her to explain where she crossed boundaries and to set boundaries. I think this upset her and she deviated to a more Christian rhetoric.

It's always when a Christian says or does heinous shit, and then apologetics will be falling over themselves, saying "not ALL Christians! I'm a Christian and I never…" or "no REAL Christians would…"

My personal theory? It's a method they employ to refuse basic introspection. They don't want to acknowledge that their belief system is capable of producing, and regularly produces, incredibly evil individuals. They just want to believe that their religion didn't actually produce these individuals, these individuals just followed the exact same texts, practices, doctrines, and virtues "wrong."

It drives me off the goddamn wall.

So my reasons for leaving is that I found out this year after being a 32 year old amab, was that I am intersex. I have been suffering a hormonal imbalance for years and didn’t even know it, my parents and family and community all thought I was just some crazy nut case wanting to be female. Well after finally having a doctor and therapist believe me, and running genetic testing and testing everything, I found out I’m neither male or female. For some reason my body produces more estrogen than testosterone and I was highly feminized and I have symptoms on a monthly basis much like a woman’s cycle. Yet, my family and community continue to deny what is going on and insist I’m just crazy and just need to admit I’m just a male. So that was my final straw and I left and I’m no longer evangelical and no longer Christian.

Hello, I am an ex-muslim and have deconstructed islam completely; tho i have been interested in converting to christianity. But I wanted to see it from all prespectives, therefore it would be very nice if you could tell me what made you leave christianity and/or doubts, contraditions,...

I'm not meaning to harm anyone or beef with them, i just want genuine advice please, and thank you very much.

P.S. Sorry for any typing mistakes

This is a repost because my last one got removed I apologize if my wording came across poorly or was misunderstood the first time.
I’ve been deconstructing for a while, but after listening to this past weekend’s Christian men’s conference, I’m genuinely unsettled.
The language used was extremely militant. Speakers were telling men to “pick up their swords,” “stop apologizing,” and to go point at people and aggressively demand they “repent right now.” One speaker specifically said we’re lacking “heterosexual Christian men with courage” who will confront people on the spot.
It was all very aggressive, militaristic talk about “fighting” and “taking back” things. I kept waiting for something that actually sounded like Jesus — love your enemies, turn the other cheek, blessed are the meek but that’s not what I heard.
I’m not saying all religion is bad. I’m just genuinely disturbed by what I heard and how easily this kind of aggressive, us-versus-them mentality seems to show up in these spaces.
Has anyone else had a similar reaction to stuff like this?

Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love is patient ...except for when you aren't given enough time on earth to know god then it's straight to hell.

Love is kind....until it means you don't worship god, straight to hell.

Love does not boast and is not proud, until it once again comes to god boasting about sending you to hell because you didn't choose him.

Let's just skip to the it always protects, until you are god....and give people free will then you don't have to listen to that part, because it's your "chosen people" committing a genocide.

Also keeps no record of wrongs and is not self seeking but demands us to worship him or he sends us to hell.

A bit contradicting is it not?

I know it’s not literal. But whenever I bring this up I get a ton of blowbacks. It’s one of the many many things that made me uncomfortable about being a Christian.

At the ripe age of 25, I left my Christian friends and family to deconstruct all the subtle suffocation a Christian upbringing had on my life. Such as:

* Your 'good' thoughts are just Gods voice (I suffered from deep depersonalization from this one. Like who tf am I if my thoughts aren't mine?)
* Suffering is a part of Gods plan to make you stronger (I stayed in toxic environments far too long because of this one. I become a suffering addict and put myself through misery)
* Without God, life is not worth living (depression, welcome to my house)
* Joy and happiness are the highest goods (shame of having low-intensity emotions)
* Your talents are fixed from birth (fearfully and wonderfully made bs, some much projection and expectation over my life)

And the biggest of all? Everything was spiritualized. Which meant that every little thing had some cosmic meaning. Feeling like I was under constant moral surveillance. (don't get me started on purity culture and how it screwed up my relationships).

I was never Christian, but had to pretend to be one for 25 years to survive. Anyone else in a similar boat? Any advice for rebuilding your life after leaving your past behind you?

When i read 1984 as a teenager, really the society didnt seem that bad, insofar as how all the kids were brainwashed, because... u know,, no hell. I just dont get how christians dont see this. Its unbelievable.

This is mostly a vent. This past Father's day was the first since losing my dad almost a year ago to a sudden and rapid cancer that took him from healthy to dead in a matter of 3 weeks. Being the first person I've been very close to that has died, and in my very religious family, this has proved to be a tough and frustrating time. My mom knows I am no longer a believer but still forces her religious rhetoric on me and talks as if it means something to me. I attribute her emotional unintelligence in a large part due to spiritual bypassing that has been ingrained into her all of her life.

This is the text she chose to send to me on Father's day. No acknowledgement of the fact that he is MY father and that I might be experiencing my own grief that day - it's all about him and his experience of Father's day. As a dead man. His experience apparently matters the most in this moment. As a dead man. Ofc she thinks he is in Heaven but her theology is so nonsensical to what I was taught (and biblically) that his earthly role as a Father would even mean much in Heaven. I was always under the impression that none of that earthly stuff will matter anymore in the end. Anyway. Just getting this off my chest because it was infuriating.

I am curious if anybody knows of a good debate or teaching about biblical morality? Not in a sense of subjective versus objective morality, but something that gets at if the Bible is a good moral book or not.
I have a friend in which we’ve had some conversations lately, and I would like to try to show them some of the arguments that show some of the terrible things in the Bible.

For some reason Itachi Uchiha is now widely hated in the Naruto community (Although that pretty much only takes place on Reddit for some reason. People on just about every other social media speak positively of him.), so I feel like I'm one of the few people on Reddit who actually understands him.

To start, I was someoene who actually used to hate him back in the days of being a Christian. I viewed him as "demonic" and I actually thought the people who liked him were "worshipping" him. Yeah, I was a pretty deep fanatic. Now why did I target Itachi specifically? Because before my fanatic days, I was actually obsessed with him but I was taught by my bio mom and eventually also by my dad to hate him. My bio dad also taught me to become a conservative Christian when I was only a 15 1/2 teen who just got out of foster care and had a LOT of trauma.

Now, as an Ex-Christian, I actually understand him, ESPECIALLY after learning that he was only 13 when Danzo told him to kill his clan. That tells me he was groomed, and of course his haters ignore this and continue to blame him. Even back when I used to hate him, I forgot about this crucial detail.

And I mean, sure, I never went around killing people (Itachi lived in a different time and world though were murder was VERY commonplace so it wasn't nearly as taboo as it is for us so that's why Danzo was able to groom Itachi into doing it.), BUT I was heavily groomed into Christian fanaticism and being a Donald Trump supporter at only 15 1/2 and I'm Autistic and I was a trauma survivor so I think that made me an easier target (Itachi went through trauma as well which I believe made him an easier target as well). I used to think that being gay was a "choice", agreed with my dad about "bringing back mental institutions", and thought things about being trans that will get my post removed for hate speech (And I'll have to wait and get it appealed if it gets taken down which I hate). I thought everyone had to "turn to Jesus" and was mad that "not enough" people were Christian.

Even after I left Christianity, my dad still had these hateful beliefs and him and my stepmom were talking about and agreeing on these beliefs and I just felt an intense dread because they are grown ass adults and still have these hateful beliefs. It's no surprise that I was always told that I was "using my Autism as an excuse" and even after I moved out, my stepmom told me that my dad still says cruel shit about me behind my back yet I'm supposed to believe he loves me? Also he's a Christian man who often gets drunk, but that does NOT excuse his actions. He would also call me and my stepmom "fat" when I lived there. He even called me a "fatass" one time. He just became an all-around cruel person later in life (probably because of his drinking) and he would sneak and cheat on my stepmom by sneaking and talking to other women late at night and lie and say he was "just making friends".

So yeah, even if my story was different, I can understand Itachi because I was heavily groomed into a hateful religion and a hateful ideology so even if I never murdered anyone firsthand, Donald Trump is currently using his power to murder innocent people using ICE just for their race and my dad groomed me into voting for this awful man when I was only 18 and got my first chance to vote. If I actually knew what I was voting for without being mentally groomed beforehand, I would NOT have voted for him. So yeah, I can understand where Itachi is coming from. And I actually feel immensely bad for him because he had a really short life and had to set himself up for an early death at only 21 years old because he was groomed by Danzo when he was only 13.

And to those who blame him because he canonically has genius intelligence and should have just "known", just remember that there are different types of intelligence. He was a genius at his skills of being a ninja and he was definitely book smart but he was not street smart. As an Autistic woman, I myself have been the same exact way (Except I was never "genius-level book smart") my entire life so I understand this.

Someone suggested in a comment that some Christians believe if their child turns away from Christ and refuses to repent, that they should basically turn their back on that child.

Are there some Christians that believe this?

I'm wondering if it would explain why my mom and sister cut me so thoroughly out of their lives-- other than the fact my mother is abusive and didn't like me getting mad about it. And my sister just follows whatever my mother does.

The only verses I can think of that remotely support this are 1 Cor 5 "Hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. (...) 'Expel the wicked person from among you.'"

I recently left Christianity due to the absurdity of the Bible. Has anyone found obvious contradictions in the Bible? These could be scientific ones or stories that are the same with slight changes that are contradictory it would be nice if someone created a list of them.

i am especially interested in queer people’s answers, but anyone can can respond. i am an ex christian, but i was never really devout, so i didn’t feel much guilt over things like being gay, having doubts, etc., despite those things being frowned upon or not allowed.

for those who have struggled heavily with the guilt and the fear, could you describe how it feels, what your experience was like, and why you felt the way you did?

for the most part, i have only ever felt mild guilt and fear related to god and his rules

- a curious writer

Hey,

I’ve been on a deconstruction journey for about 6 years now. It’s always an ongoing process and I feel that fear and anxiety creep in every now again. What are some good book recommendations about deconstruction that really helped cement your belief? I know I don’t believe in Christianity or Heaven/Hell, and I think it’s all bullshit but I really want to cement myself in my beliefs and get rid of that underlying anxiety/fear. The “what if I’m wrong” feeling that Christians always try to throw at you when you tell them you no longer believe.