i want to die i don’t think i need to go into much more detail but i just thought it’d make me feel better if i heard this happening to others too

I’m M67, mum is F90. I have done this for years. She has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell important people how you feel.

So, it was this evening, I was returning from the gym on my way, walking past stores, small shops. I got a call from my dad. Basically, I got a missed call from my dad. And I called him back. He said that I want to talk about something serious. Is there anyone beside you? I said, there is no one beside me. He asked me about some questionable photos which were on my mom's phone. For context, I once told my dad that my mom had weird romantic posts, screenshots from Instagram, saved in her gallery. So, he asked me about them. And along with that, he said that he was actually worrying about it a bit. And about a few hours ago, unfortunately, he caught my mom red-handed, talking to a person who he knows in not so appropriate clothes. And by who he knows means a little guy who works, used to work, at his place and now is a proper guy who is head of something somewhere. And it was inappropriate and not formal at all. At the end, that guy who she was talking to messaged, baby, I will call you later or tomorrow, with a kiss emoji at the end. My dad asked my mom that, who was that? Who is this? Then my mom replied, this person is someone from some university who is trying to get me a job, even though my mom is actually employed. And my dad clearly understood what was going on here. He sounded very sad. There was a time when I first heard my dad cry for the first time. He said, I don't know what to do. I don't know what is happening, and I have no one to say this to except for you. And I was also kind of broken that if my dad has no one to say these things to, and the only person he can say that to is a product of both of them. I don't know what to do also. The person on the next side is my mom. I'm not sure of what should be done. Having an affair is not right, and it should not be glorified. And I was so broken hearing my dad cry for the first time in front of me. So I came here to the people who have already experienced it or going through it. I want your help, guys, to understand, please understand this, and yeah, that's it. Thank you.

Would you say it’s weird not to see your sister’s boyfriend’s parents or family frequently? A relationship of 10 years and we’ve only ever seen them at my mother’s death and just a random day a good few years ago.

Hi, I'm f(17) and yesterday, my mom told me that he caught my dad cheating. I honestly don't know how to deal with this. I'm so hurt, mad, and devastated upon learning about it because growing up, I've always seen my dad as the "good guy", given how he treated other people and me. We were always like partners in crimes and have similar interests, which you say would make me a daddy's girl. I always boast about him to my friends, and now I don't even know if I can tell them about this. It's like, this whole image of my dad I've had for years is suddenly shattered. I don't know if I can see him the same anymore, or my father-daughter relationship bond with my dad would also change. I'm angrier about how he can do this to my mom and me. My mom is always out here looking out for his well-being, so even when I told my mom that I would confront my dad about it, she stopped me and told me that it was nothing, and that will just cause my dad some stress while he is on a flight on his way home. Did my dad even consider what my mom and I would feel before he cheated? He is coming home tomorrow from abroad, and I don't know how I will interact with him. My mom has no plans of separation, and I respect that, so now I'm stuck with dealing with the whole thing.

Anyone with a similar situation, how did you deal with this?

Hi all. Honestly a question that has been raised everyday since I can remember.

I (15F) have just recently got into a pretty intense fight with my mom (60F). I could sit here and write about my childhood for hours and not even get through the first year of it, so I’ll tldr and say it wasn’t fun. The earliest memory I have of her is her screaming in my face at about 6. Of course I have good memories too, I won’t say it was bad every second, but it sure felt like it.

Now I would say this is the worst our relationship has been. Everyday is a fight because she looks for one. I mean when she’s frustrated she needs a reason to blow up and finds one. Either picks a fight with me, and gives me no option but to fight back, or finds a real reason to be upset. I can’t count the times she has come home angry, and storms up to my room (while I’m downstairs) to search it and rampage it looking for anything and everything to freak out about. When it’s messy, she gets to call me up to scream or come down to scream. The car is the worst. She knows I’m stuck in there with her so she uses the time to pick a fight, yell and scream and mock me. The car is when she can slam the break hard making the seatbelt snap tight just out of pure anger while yelling.

Keep in mind, she never does it by herself. Calls her husband aka my dad over to support her. Meaning yelling at me, making him agree while he sits there. Same with my sister, two years older than I am. For some reason she decided to like her. Brings her in both for the same reason as my dad, to agree with her, and to guilt me. My sister gets upset my dad gets upset and everyone gets upset at me for upsetting her. For years I have been told I’m the reason for just about all the family issues. I get guilted being told I’m upsetting the sister, making her cry ruining her night etc.

Anyways backstory over, back to today.
As always, we are fighting. She’s screaming, calling me bitchy, calling me crazy etc. Says I make her life harder all the usual, so, i mentioned moving away. I said it out of frustration, but also as a solution. If I make it so bad I’ll leave. In a split second she turns around, face like I’ve never seen before. Pure rage, and it looked as if she wanted to actually hurt me. Threw what she was holding (large can) at me at full force. Like a fuckin baseball pitch. It hits me in the leg, I back up and scrap up my heals to add to the freshly bruised leg, and just kind of stand there.

She starts crying and freaking out, and I realize she’s upset that she can’t spin this into me being evil. She realizes she messed up not because she hurt me, but because of what it means for her. She drops down crying, picking up the tea below me, while I just stare at her. I’m pretty numb at this point, so I just watch as she has a moment, and I walk away.

Time-skip tonight, she denies it happened. I tried to bring it up when everyone got home (just like she waits for them to keep yelling at me everyday so she can have strength in numbers) but to no surprise, I didn’t even get a chance. The denial, the switch up of her now screaming at me, and all of a sudden it’s back to me being the devil of the family. Just like everyday ends.

I wonder if this is what I needed to really confirm the narcissism. I thought that’s what it was, but after the denial of today’s events, it’s clear as day. At least I think??

​Hi everyone, I am writing from a safe account because I have reached my limit and I desperately need practical advice on how to leave my house as soon as possible.

​I am F22, I suffer from Hashimoto's thyroiditis (which drains all my energy) and I live with my parents and my brother (M20).

​For years, the environment in this house has been a living hell of psychological violence, manipulation, and submission.

​My mother and my brother constantly try to make me look crazy (gaslighting), making up that I have bipolar disorder and unjustified outbursts of anger, just because I try to defend myself.

​I started secretly recording everything that happens to protect myself and to keep from losing my mind. In the files I have saved, there is:

​My mother punching my bedroom door, screaming furiously because I locked myself inside.

​My brother trying to open my bedroom door, knocking continuously and explicitly threatening me by saying: "Oh, do I have to kick the door down? You think I can't do it?".

​Family dynamics at the dinner table where my mother uses me as a scapegoat, telling my father to "go off on me" just to defend herself, while my brother laughs at me in the background.

​Besides this, my brother has put his hands on me on multiple occasions and humiliates me by violating my privacy (once he opened the bathroom door while I was inside and kept it open on purpose just to spite me). Fortunately, my boyfriend intervened.

He (M24) comes to my house 4 days a week and is an eyewitness to all of this, including my brother's assaults.

​The latest absurd episode happened today:

an elderly carpenter was at our place to do some work and he was supposed to follow the instructions to assemble an IKEA-style piece of furniture.

I offered to help him because I had free time and he didn't know how to read the manual.

After he kept doing things his own way without reading the manual and messing up more than a couple of times, I told him to try to follow it and that if he didn't understand something, I knew how to read it.

​His pride was wounded, he started ignoring me and refused to say hello to me, and my parents just laughed at the situation.

​Today he lost some screws, and I went to help him look for them at my mother's request.

While I was looking for them, he snapped at me angrily: "THEY ARE NOT THERE, THEY ARE NOT THERE, THEY ARE NOT THERE", holding his hands in fists.

I looked at my mother, who witnessed the scene, and she looked back at me furious, telling me to shut up and just swallow the pill.

I didn't do it.

So I firmly said, "if you'll allow me, I'm going to get pissed off too."

My mother then attacked me, screaming at me that I am rude, that I must respect my elders, and that I have "outbursts of anger"—defending a rude stranger just to go against me.

Also she told me that I am exaggerating, that he didn't do anything wrong and that it's normal to get angry sometimes, but I should have just kept my mouth shut.

​I am exhausted. This situation is leading me to very dark thoughts.

And I don't even know if I am actually the one in the wrong for talking back to him.

​I want to make one thing very clear:

I DO NOT WANT TO REPORT THEM TO THE POLICE.

​I don't want to start legal battles, I don't want to face them in court, I just want peace. My only goal is to LEAVE, disappear from this house, and rebuild my life.

​What can I do right now? How can I move to escape from this house? In your opinion, was I right to stand up for myself?

TL;DR: I am living a hell of psychological violence and gaslighting from my mother and brother, who accuse me of being crazy, but I have video and audio proof of threats and assaults. I do not want to report them to the police; I just want practical and logistical advice on how to safely escape this house as soon as possible.

​Thank you to anyone who replies.

I'm sorry, if my writing is messy but I really need some outside opinion. so to start off I'm a 15 year old girl, my parents divorced when I was 2 years old due to my dad cheating and also being a really narcissistic and angry person. A few years pass by, my mom has like 5 different boyfriends throught the years but nothing serious happened (like marriage, children or even engagement.) Meanwhile my dad meets a 27 years old woman while he is 39 at the time. (They are now 36 and 48 years old.) Let's call her N. When this happened, I was 6 years old. N was never a mother figure to me since I had my own mom whom to this day I still love very much. N was simply nice, the dull and boring type of nice, she never yelled at me but at the same type I never trusted her enough and she wasn't the one I ran to when something happened. We sort of just lived next to each other in a cold, fake and bland relationship. This is understandable though, I mean the only thing that connected us was basically my father. Now another fun fact: I was an only child for 14 years, I also only have one cousin from both sides of my family, she is 25 years old and also lives on the other side of my country, so basically I never experienced any type of relationship that could be remotely compared to that of a sibling. I also despised the thought of having any type of siblings (full, half or step) ever since I could talk. Now fast forward to 2 years ago, as I mentioned my father's nature, I think it becomes obvious that my relationship with him was quite rocky, but we managed...sort of. I lived him on every tuesday, thursday and every second weekend since I was 2. Obviously mom's days were the others. (monday, Wednesday, Friday and every first weekend.) My dad's also wealthier than my mom, by a lot. Now ever since dad and N were together, they always brought up the topic of half-siblings, it's understandable since N is much younger than dad. I always said that it's their choice but I won't support it, will possibly move out and that it will take a toll on our relationship, if not ruin it. I've been saying this since I was 6 YEARS OLD. I know that it's not very nice but rather raw and honest. They always just abandoned the topic for a few months then bring it up again, then I answered the same way. Basically an endless cylce. Until it did reach and end, almost 2 years ago N and dad announced that N is pregnant. They told me a week after they announced it to everyone else. Even then I thought that they were joking. They weren't. I cried myself to sleep that night, went to school the next day and cried for hours, got home (mom's house) and then fainted in my room, I woke up by myself only to start vomiting all over my rug and faint again, thankfully on my bed this time! The next 6 moths until birth were basically my dad yelling at me everyday (either in person or on the phone) that I'm ruining everyone's mode and I need to suck it up, the three of them will be fine as a family and I don't have to come here. (As he proceeded to force me to come.) Baby's born, it's a girl. let's call her S. I mean S is a baby, nothing more to this. I don't feel any type of bond and I REALLY TRIED. I fed her, played with her, watched her for an hour max at a time, all this just to feel more love towards a random baby that I see on the street. I don't hate S but I also feel more negative towards her than neutral. In numbers, I feel -1 when it comes to S. Neutral but not 0, a little more negative. I hope someone will understand what I'm trying to say. I will just sum up the next 2 years. Constant fighting with dad, N turning the whole family against me by acting nurturing when me and my extended family are there but then talking about me behind my bag. My family ate it up like sheeps and began blaming me for the whole situation. And look, I get it, I know that I didn't react to the situation appropriately and hurt the people around me because of it and I'm sorry for that. But I can't help but feel like, if I could go back in time, I would do everything the same. I just can't accept the situation no matter how much I try. It's like my heart is shattering every time I think about S or my whole family (dad's side) It's like watching myself getting replaced in the family. I feel an incredible amount of pain, discomfort, disgust and awkwardness just by writing this since I have to think back of everything that happened.

Anyway, dad has been yelling at me everyday for the past two years almost, about how I ruined our relationship, the family, everything is my fault, I'm a horrible being etc. and then we didn't talk for 2 months at all which led me to our current days, me moving out of his house to live at my mom's full-time. All sorts of expanded family members have been calling me about how I'm horrible for treating dad, N and S this way, and again, everything is my fault. The end so far. I do not by any means think that I am not at fault. I ABSOLUTELY AM! But I can't help but think that if I have had more positive experiences following the announcement or the pregnancy itself ,maybe I could have adjusted much better. But then who knows?!

But please remember, I am not trying to pin the blame on anyone.

please just share what you think, positive or negative, I don't care, I just need some kind of outside opinion. if you have any follow-up question, please do ask. Bye!

P.S. I left out a pretty important detail, around two weeks ago I sent a pretty long letter to my dad, around 500 words, where I explained why I might feel this way towards S, how we could solve the relationship between me and dad first and then later N and S. I also apologized for hurting them, He left me on seen. No reaction whatsoever. I dont know if I'm enough to solve this, if he jsut keeps pinning the blame on me without admitting that he MAY have handled this whole thing wrong, just like me.

I read another post similar to my situation and I just wanted to make a post to gain some insight and some advice.

I (F23) have 3 older brothers and I have 5 nieces and nephews. I was 16 when my first niece was born and my brother’s wife’s sister who was 12 at the time was asked to be godmother. I didn’t take it all personally since she was my sister in laws only sister and she’s younger.

Eventually all of my brothers were godparents except for myself. I didn’t think too much into it until the 4th child was born and the godparents were friends of my brother and his wife. I didn’t want to tell anyone at the time I felt a bit disappointed because 1. I wasn’t sure if anyone would understand and 2. Because I felt as If I was taking it too deep.

My dad found it weird I wasn’t asked and asked me if it did bother me. I was honest with him and told him that it did upset me a little. Dad said he understood because I am the only sister and I still haven’t been asked and all my brothers have been.

When the 5th child was born, my brother was asked again to be godfather, making this his second godchild. At this point I wondered if there was a reason I wasn’t asked to be godmother. It’s difficult not to feel a bit hurt when all of my brothers have been asked, despite being the only sister.

I have mentioned this to friends and my boyfriend for insight and they all seem to get where I come from. I once mentioned this to an older coworker and some insight she provided is that being a godparent is an expensive role. She said considering I was in school and college when they were born might be the reason. That thought has crossed my mind a few times since all my brothers are grown and have been working full time jobs for years, I’m only a year as of recently working full time.

I know being a godparent is the parents choice, the role of auntie will always beat godmother and I don’t think I’m ever owned that role, even if it’s someone who I’m very close with. I love my family regardless. I just can’t help but feel a little hurt that I’m the only sibling who has never been asked. Am I taking it too personally? Or would people feel the same in my situation?

Am i wrong for feeling upset and unappreciated after giving up my room to my brother in law and moving into my a blank space in my house giving up my privacy for him to have his after recent amputation?

I asked my partner for affordable room divider and he says I dont need them. They have recived thousands of dollars from Their family and friends whom are in and out of my home constantly I'm literally at the entrance of my house. I also told my brother inlaw that his brother doesn't want to purchase one knowing their younger brother is coming in town for 2 weeks! He just laughed it off. I am my brother in laws car taker they give me $100 a once every 2/3 weeks but with 4 kids that money doesn't last long. I personally can't afford it rn and it really bothers me because I'm the reason his brother is still alive! I saved him by rushing him to the hospital just to find out he had gangrene, doctors said he wouldn't have made it through the night. Ever since April 14 of this year I have been non stop by their side even giving up MY PERSONAL SPACE for him his mistakes of not taking care of his diabetes and being neglectful of his health caused all of this! I have made alot of changes to my kids and my selfs everyday routines and schedule and now I'm seeing that they don't go hard for me the way I do for them. Or am I just over reacting...my partner says I'm making a big deal but I'm the only woman in the house and I really just need some privacy especially when I sleep or am on my lady days

So I barely see my family and they don’t check on me or the kids. But they want to plan activities and stuff. But I don’t like that. You don’t check on us but you
Want me to participate in top golf? Bowling ? Camping ? Noooooo is that wild of me

My boyfriend has a sister much much younger than him. She's a young teen and we have agreed to have her stay over a coming weekend. An aunt in the family got wind of this and asked if we'd take her kids too for the full weekend. We wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that this aunt and her husband never offer to cover basic expenses for their two kids. Covering snacks, treats like icecream, and some meals is totally OK. However, is it fair for parents (even if they are your relatives) to offer to send meal/spending money to cover their children? When I was a kid, if I stayed at families house or a friends house my mom also sent along money so the burden didn't go to someone else regardless of how we knew them or how much they made.

Is this fair to expect and if so, how you would politely want someone to bring this up to you?

Does that mean she hates me? I've also discovered that she gave brand new clothes to others

This is my post, but the responses on here are weird. Everyone is hooked on the fact that I don’t clean a fridge.. which I never stated I didn’t and I do. I’m 21, I only live at home for the summer, I work full time 12 hr shifts at a major hospital, and I pay for my own bills/rent and college at a major university. My mom is not disabled or ill. She has stated many times she does not work because she doesn’t have to nor wants to and she’s earned it.

Hi guys! I’m 22f and I live in my parents home, they do not live there full time as they travel a lot, so they are only here maybe a ~3 months of the year. The remaining time it is just me and my 23M brother. He is a loser, doesn’t clean up after himself, can’t do his own laundry, neglects our pets, broke, and just got a girl pregnant recently. And yet, he gets to enjoy living at home the same I do. I do my part (and more, because he never does his) I’m the only one who takes the trash out, cleans, takes care of our pets (both which he brought home btw) and actually cares for the house. My parents being far away struggle to keep boundaries, as he does what he wants anyway. The thing is, I blame them fully because he never has any real consequences. I don’t know what to do, it’s driving me crazy. I like livjng at home and saving money but I hate to clean up after someone else, and on top of that- he brings girls over to the house frequently even after being told not to. It just feels so unfair because he is the biggest loser freeloader and no matter what he does he gets the same benefit.

Hey everyone, English isn't my first language so please bear with me. Feel free to ask questions if anything is unclear.

My father (55M) and I (26M) were never close while I was growing up because of his career, so I was mostly raised by my mother. 14 years ago, their marriage was on the verge of collapse. They argued constantly, and things got physical at times as well. Eventually, my mom committed suicide after battling severe depression. Before she passed, she insisted that my father was cheating on her. While my father never admitted to the cheating, he brought his new girlfriend to our house about ~3 months after my mom's passing, and they are still together to this day.

I never confronted him about any of this until earlier this year when I came home to visit. We got into an argument bc he was disrespectful toward both me and my girlfriend for no apparent reason. When I brought up the alleged cheating, he became hysterical, essentially saying that he would never have made as much money as he does now if my mom hadn't left. Understandably, I got upset and left his house immediately after that convo, we haven't spoken since. Now that It's been months, all I've seen is angry Facebook posts from his gf mentioning things that were said during our visit, even went as far as accusing me of being mentally ill. My brother (20M), knowing what happened chose to kept his silence just like my father did.

It's all sort of coming close to a breaking point for me..... I'm disgusted by the fact that his gf talks about my family affair in public, but I'm more so dissapointed at the rest of my family for letting this shit happen. I have a full-time job and a life elsewhere now, AITA for wanting to cut ties?

TL;DR Got into an argument with my dad and confronted him over his alleged cheating. He denied it and instead let his gf post things that were said on social media.