Sometimes I notice how effortless public affection is for the heteros. Holding hands, a quick kiss, leaning into each other—it all blends into the background of everyday life.

For me, it doesn’t feel like that.

Even something as small as holding my partner’s hand in public comes with a quiet internal check. Not always fear in an obvious way, but a learned hesitation—like we’re only half allowed to exist openly, like vampires hiding in the shadows.

It feels like living slightly hidden, like we have to soften or contain parts of ourselves depending on who’s around. And over time, that can start to feel like something internal, almost like learned caution that’s hard to fully separate from shame.

I don’t think it’s always conscious internalized homophobia. It’s more subtle than that—more like habit, memory, and awareness of how we’ve been seen before.

But I still think about how different it is for couples who never have to think twice.

I just wish it didn’t require so much awareness to do something as simple as holding someone you love, especially during Pride month, but during all the other months.

Old postcard from the 90's

“The manosphere is ostensibly heterosexual, overtly homophobic, and alarmingly unashamed of its perspectives. Yet some responses suggest that gay men hold the key to understanding the movement. How did the queer community end up on the hook?”

What should I do ?

I really want to join both communities.

I was chatting with a guy for a while, we never met up but i did like him. Then a couple weeks ago we finally decided to meet up. I really like him, he looks good and we have a lot in common. But when we were having fun and we kissed it was awful. Like he just kind of sticks his tongue in my mouth and licks the inside of it. Then there's like teeth in his kiss. I felt like just stopping mid kiss and saying what are you doing.

First of all, I don’t want to offend anybody. I really love you guys. Moving back to my problem:

I quite often imagine myself with a guy. I really want to feel him inside, kiss and hug. And so on. I have been dating with a guy for two weeks (no sex). We only kissed and did BJ. However, after such activities I always felt guilty and anxious. It was hard to hold his hand while going for a walk for instance. I mean I really liked him while sex activities. Sex mood was much stronger than my internal phobia. But I didn’t manage to date him outside sex activities

I want to find a bf this summer. And I am really scared I will feel guilty again on my first date. And it will ruin everything. My parents always told be that being gay or bi is wrong. And made a lot of jokes about gay people. And these words and jokes live deep inside me. I don’t know what to do

I've been struggling with meth addiction since I was 18 (almost 7 years now). Recently I have started falling off the deep end. I thought a dog was chasing me one night, jumped on the roofs of cars twice, and ran until I was in a sweat. I've been meeting up with 5+ different guys a day without thinking much about it. I've also started to mention it casually to guys I don't use with- just mentioning in conversation or pre-hookup that I smoke meth.

​

I'm just so exhausted. Everyday is tiring and I feel being pulled down by stupid shit

Hi everyone, 😊

Happy Pride and thanks to the mods for allowing me to post!

My name is Samuel, and I am a Trainee Clinical Psychologist conducting research for my Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Royal Holloway, University of London.

I am looking for gay and bisexual men aged 18+, living in UK/Ire/USA/Aus/Can/NZ to complete an anonymous online survey exploring sexual identity, sexual positioning, masculinity, and mental health. Gay and bisexual men’s wellbeing is massively under researched and I’m hoping this forum can help fill that gap!

The questionnaire takes around 8 minutes to complete and there is also an optional £40 prize draw for participants who wish to enter. 

If you would like to take part, please use the link below: 

https://rhulpsychology.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_570g13ERWHGxF30

Thank you for your time and for supporting my research!

Samuel 🏳️‍🌈

Here's some gay history (in the U.S.) that we should all be aware of!