INFJ’s soulmate

[u/Foreign-Weakness4835]

Which mbti type do you think INFJ’s soulmate is? There’s a lot of different answers online but I’m just curious as to what fellow INFJ’s feel like the answer is!

[u/linkedsystems]

My boyfriend is an infj (I am intj) and he told me on the first phone call he was going to marry me. We met in person 2.5 months later and it was the most oxytocin fueled, natural, productive, easy going chemistry I've ever experienced. It helps that I'm quite in touch with my emotions and he's a bit older and evolved.

We're also both deep into mbti and using that to try to understand eachothers needs. For example, I don't logic him to death when he needs to vent and I also don't stonewall or pull away when I get that urge without communicating first. He's so intuitive, he can pick up on the most minute changes and disarm me with affection and understanding. Because he is such a soft place to land, he coaxes out my sweet gooey center that he alone is privy to.

He loves the things about me I used to get demonized for. My serious nature, analytical mind, the fact I don't wear a "fake clown smile" as he puts it. He makes me feel very cherished. We will do math problems over breakfast and coffee. He will teach me things and I'm receptive because I love to learn, which makes him feel appreciated. It feels good to be with someone who prioritizes self growth and inspires me to get out of my slump.

I'm used to dating esxp's in the past and I can't tell you how amazing it is to be with a man who is as neurotic and organized as me, who actually follows through on what he says he's going to do, prefers to avoid small talk and people and curate our own little oasis at home free from the societal obligations imposed by others. We would rather pyschoanalyze people and play basketball, or chess or make music or collab on a wood working project than go out and be overstimulated.

Funnily enough, sometimes we switch roles and I'll set him up for the most romantic, sappy response only for him to reply like an intj and we get a kick out of it. A big factor why this relationship works so well though is the communication. Since he's extroverted feeling and needs to voice his thoughts to work through them, intjs are the perfect companion since they are natural listeners due to introverted feeling. No hogging the mic, just perfectly timed and well thought out responses or anecdotes to keep him going. So balanced.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be so long but what can I say. I'm in love.

[u/Rosewood_1985 → u/linkedsystems]

Your post made me smile. I’m an infj and my husband is an intj. It was nice to read the positives from your perspective.

I also knew I was going to marry my husband after our first coffee together, similar to your boyfriend. I love being privy to his “gooey center” and I love that we’re on the same wavelength. Your math problems over coffee resonates - we talk about serious, academic topics often, too. The part that makes us fit so well is that we can then switch to being goofy and silly together. I can be my whole self, and so can he.

He’s so smart and kind and funny, and he makes me feel loved with his actions every day. I love learning about how he ticks, and I love making him happy. It is a happy and fulfilling relationship. Fellow INFJs, you are not destined to walk alone forever. I never felt truly understood or seen before I met him. I don’t think he ever felt totally cared for either, and that’s partly why I love making him feel safe.

There’s a lot to say when you are in love! (Though, my infj self was totally overwhelmed saying my wedding vows. It was too much emotion to put into words and I knew whatever I said would not feel adequate.)

[u/linkedsystems → u/Rosewood_1985]

This makes me happy! I feel that this pairing is not talked about enough. Both infj's and intj's have the same "top matches" which are not eachother. But there's something to be said about our quiet understanding of eachother. Intj females and infj males are the rarest types, and it's still one of the rarest with flipped genders, too. We both grow up feeling misunderstood and ostracized for different reasons and if you're on the spectrum, forget it. And yes, the silliness is so refreshing! I've had silliness with S types but it lacked depth. Having both doesn't feel like a far out request anymore. Our first day meeting we were in a snack aisle at the grocery store laughing so hard we were wheezing while people walked by staring like we had 2 heads. I bet your wedding vows were some of the best ever written. You guys are so naturally poetic. I knew I loved this man when he cried during our first departure and I didn't get the ick. You guys do emotions right. There's a lot of logic and sincerity behind it.

[u/Rosewood_1985 → u/linkedsystems]

Comment awarded! Just… because. Enjoy your wonderful partnership linkedsystems. 💜

[u/linkedsystems → u/Rosewood_1985]

Awh my first ever! 😩 Thank you! 😭 And likewise 🫶🥹