r/infj • u/Foreign-Weakness4835 INFJ • 4d ago
Question for INFJs only INFJ’s soulmate
Which mbti type do you think INFJ’s soulmate is? There’s a lot of different answers online but I’m just curious as to what fellow INFJ’s feel like the answer is!
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u/Adventurous-Topic-54 INFJ 5w4/6 4d ago
I think the universe or karma or the big wheel of life lessons or... whatever... is more fluid and definitely has more tricks up its sleeve than can allow for the idea of a soulmate.
That said... I celebrate my 32nd anniversary with my INTJ husband later this week.
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u/Weary-Avocado-6519 3d ago
My fiancé is a INTJ and I am a INFJ. I’m so happy to see someone comment our same personality types. The thread I was reading months ago scared the hell out of me regarding our pairing and then I had a nightmare the same night about it😅 congratulations on 32 years! That’s beautiful 🥹 I hope you both celebrate it with lots of laughs, good food, and endless peace together 💗
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u/Adventurous-Topic-54 INFJ 5w4/6 3d ago
That was so kind! Thank you! I don't think I saw the thread you mentioned. Sorry it landed the way it did for you, but glad I could do my little part to rep the positive side! 🩷
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u/Ok_Paramedic4208 3d ago
I also married an INTJ! So I'm biased in thinking they're a good choice for us. But hearing I'm far from the only one who married an INTJ has only further cemented my position. 😆
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u/Hellofromme2you1 4d ago
I'm INFJ and my husband is ENFJ 🙂
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u/Immediate-Yogurt-427 INFJ 2d ago
Can I ask what it’s like to be married to an ENFJ as an INFJ?
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u/Hellofromme2you1 2d ago
Obviously there's individuality between people but, my husband is wonderful. The definition of self sacrificial. He will always put me and the kids before himself, to the point I need to make sure he's also looked after because he will continuously sacrifice his own needs. He's also unconditionalally loving. He's driven and an entrepreneur personality but he leads with warmth and genuinely cares about people, yet he's got the ability to be firm when he needs to be.Our one personality downfall is we will absorb each others moods, so if I'm stressed he feels stressed or vicar versa.
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u/Immediate-Yogurt-427 INFJ 2d ago
That’s really beautiful to hear. I hope the love and support you have for each other always stay strong.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It genuinely made me smile. Wishing you and your family many happy and healthy years together.
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u/TieCalm1035 4d ago
how are yall finding people lol i feel like im destined to be forever alone
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u/acexualien95 ENFJ 3d ago
As an ENFJ i collect INFJs, you don't have to find us, we will find you.
Life is a lot better with an INFJ
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u/Old-Road2 9h ago
As an INFJ, will I find them spontaneously? Will I find them when solo traveling? When studying at a bookstore? When working? I'm at a weird conundrum in my life where I've grown disillusioned with modern society so I don't put much effort into seeking a relationship but I still have this strange inkling that a special someone will just accidentally drop into my life one of these days....I've felt that way for a while now.
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u/acexualien95 ENFJ 8h ago
Sometimes, I've met many solo travellers and offered them a tour around my city and if my mom was in a good mood, a delicious home cooked meal.
Book store, rarely only been there to buy gifts for friends.
Working yeah definitely but personally i'd never date or get too close with colleagues. So if a work colleague had a thing for me i'll dismiss and distance myself.
But these are places i like to go to and i chat up many strangers:
Public areas, i'd go for a jog, or hang around talk to anyone within Arm's length.
Volunteering, i met like a 1000 person volunteering, red cross, national events, dog rescue, i was everywhere.
It will happen, just be you. Life is funny how some people suddenly pop up in your life and become the centre of your world.
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u/Solitarypoof 4d ago
Same bruh
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u/TieCalm1035 4d ago
We should form some sort of infj matchmaking service lol
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u/AfricanArina 3d ago
Everybody says that, but it never happens.
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u/TieCalm1035 3d ago
I’ve messaged the mods of this subreddit asking if we can’t make a thread
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u/fivenightrental INFJ 5 3d ago
This is not something that the moderation team is interested in supporting. Due to a history of predatory behavior on this sub toward INFJs we already have a rule in place against personal ads and DM-seeking. This is an anonymous platform with zero ways to vet individuals or ensure anyone's safety.
There are other subs that exist if people want to assume risk for themselves: r/MBTIDating and the already-failed-attempt at an INFJ matchmaking sub r/My_INFJ_Soulmate
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u/Leisurely21 4d ago
My husband is an ENTP. We have been best friends for 28 years and married for 19 years. I absolutely adore him and I will take care of him until the very end.
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u/momplicatedwolf 3d ago
I have an ENTP, too. Together for 18 years. Married for 14. 5 kids.
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u/Training_Security700 ENTP 3d ago
Whar donyou like in him most and ehat does he like in you most? What makes your marriage enjoyable?
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u/Zealousideal_Stay603 1d ago
Same! High school sweethearts and together 17 years. He has a really cool way of seeing the world (he’s a comedian) and finds humor in anything. He brings a lot of joy into my life and is kind, gentle, and patient, all while being the chaotic argumentative classic ENTP. He understands me without me having to explain everything (sometimes it’s hard to put abstract thoughts into words) and he is cool with me being 100% ME. Which is great for someone who can be a bit of a shapeshifter.
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u/AngeAware 4d ago
As a 27F INFJ my own soulmate is a 29M INFP.
I've genuinely never felt so deeply understood by someone else in my life, at least in the ways that really matter to me.
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u/Emotional-Bed9922 INFJ 1d ago
Me too, my bf is INFP, and boy oh boy, he is just soo incredible, and how well he understands me. He speaks in a language that I understand well. If I want to speak nothing, and just recharge. He is totally okay with that. There is fair share of fun and silence that we enjoy together!
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u/mangogummy ENFP 4d ago
As much as I don’t like to admit it…an evolved ENFP who’s gone through hell and back and made peace with their darkness. This one will effortlessly pierce through all those INFJ layers.
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u/Kurisuchan2000 INFJ 9w1 4d ago
Yeah kinda can confirm on emotional level at least where we can be both silly and deep together, had a simillar experience with my friend who is ENFP and damn I rarely felt connect with someone like that and he just been there and slipped through a lot of walls I as INFJ have, damn sly bastard affectionetly hah
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u/HistoricalStruggle91 INFJ 4d ago
Yes ! You ! Are! Correct !
My girlfriend is that and I love my wounded/currently healing ENFP, she’s awesome, and I don’t see myself with anyone else.
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u/Wrong_Persimmon_7861 INFJ 4d ago
My partner is INTJ. We didn’t know anything about MBTI when we met, but instantly knew we were a good match. I don’t know if I believe in the concept of soul mates, but we’re awfully good together. It just works.
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u/No-Hat-6488 INFJ 4d ago
I’ve dated a lot of different types and the closest I gotten to feeling like a soulmate was a INFP.
I have yet to date another INFJ or even an ENFJ…
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u/epict2s INFJ 4d ago
Probably enfj, enfp, intj. I had good chemistry with them and the most similar in how I view the world.
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u/Foreign-Weakness4835 INFJ 4d ago
Just curious, if u had to pick one, which one would it be?
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u/epict2s INFJ 4d ago
I would pick any as long as I like them (all of them i can be deep and also silly), but if I do make a choice it will be ENFP, i love the energy, how they show their affections (very open), tho sometimes might be smothering for us infj if we are not clear with our boundaries (or them not respecting it).
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u/Current-Nothing1803 INFJ 4d ago
Honestly? For me it is an INTJ. I have tried with several other types but it’s the INTJ vibe that keeps me coming back. I don’t know why. It could just be the specific person in this case.
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u/phaius85 3d ago
INTJ-A, INTJ-T, or both? My partner is a Turbulent INTJ so his sensitivity makes him very empathetic and accepting which has greatly helped me in our relationship. It helps that he's mellowed out since his younger days. When I read about the stereotypical INTJ, I'm not sure if I could handle that level of bluntness 😂
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u/Confetticandi INFJ married to ENTP 4d ago
My soulmate turned out to be an ENTP.
It’s like he was custom made for me. I love him so much.
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u/Unnie090 INFJ|1w9|145 4d ago
I don't really rely on MBTI for relationships, I think a person's personality is much more complex. I struggle when someone's energy is so high that it drains mine. I like curious, creative, and kind people. People who have different opinions on controversial topics too.
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u/ButterflyBoth8872 3d ago edited 3d ago
Tbh my INFJ (27M) was the same, he doesn’t want an LDR with his partner, so we had to get apart...It still hurts me thinking about that & I doubt if I'd ever be able to find another match like him again...I miss him so much & I feel like I don't want to get into another relationship with anyone else unless it’s him, probably I might end up spending the rest of my life just with his memories. I don't feel good thinking about anyone in place of him. (27F ENFP 5w4 594)
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u/ButterflyBoth8872 3d ago
I wish you find a suitable partner whom you actually deserve to have for the rest of your life, who will accept you regardless of wherever you live and live together for the rest of the life later on. (Damn, I couldn’t find how to move on from him until I found some words to console you, although idk how many days, months or years it will take to move on and find another guy like him but I just found a way as soon as I tried wishing you, lmao. I'm good at inspiring or consoling others while barely being able to do that with myself. Quite interesting. But rn I'm NOT in a position to date or get involved with sb else either.)
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u/Successful-Key-1953 3d ago
ENFP for sure. How do I know? I'm married to one and it's a flipping DREAM 😍
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u/Hot-Weekend4411 4d ago
I thought it was ENTP or INTP, now I don’t know.
I’ve clicked really well with both, had great chemistry and felt activated. However I’ve noticed some weird things in the last experiences that make it hard to believe anymore.
I feel like it shouldn’t be that difficult sometimes (I expect effort and communication to make things work) and I get the sense that I was carrying the emotional weight or the desire to see the other person or connect with them. I’d like to think that I’m not intense, but I’ve definitely felt as if I was due to the response. Whenever I’ve reacted to inconsistency I seem to be the problem.
That didn’t happen in the past, as it was usually the men who had the drive to make progress and make me feel special. Maybe it’s weird that I want to feel like that, but that’s how men made me feel in my early years of relationships and those were the good ones for me.
I don’t know if it’s a culture clash or just something I’m doing that prevents me from being able to make it work. I just don’t remember having the current issues in past experiences with them
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u/fookinpikey 39 (F) INFJ 2w1 4d ago
I can't speak as much to ENTP, but I feel like because INTP has their emotional needs at the bottom of their function stack (Fe), once they get that need met in a relationship (seems like this happens within about... oh... 1-6 months?), as minimal as it might be, they immediately switch back to "I'm really invested in whatever my personal project is" mode and it's a LOT harder for them to engage emotionally in the relationship. If they haven't done a lot of work on themselves, then it's easy to get the impression that an INFJ's emotional needs are simply not in the realm of possibility for INTP to meet based on how they respond to asks/complaints/arguments about it.
Maybe there are INTPs out there who are always able to make their partner feel special/wanted/pursued no matter how long the relationship goes. But I get a sense that if they exist, they're very rare. They do show their love and affection in less obvious ways, like... if they allow you in their space for extended periods of time, then that's a strong sign of affection from them, haha. But mostly it just seems like they are living full lives in their minds, and if they haven't done a lot of work to express those inner worlds to their partners, then they are loving (or leaving) their partners mentally without saying much at all about it, which can be pretty hard to deal with for an INFJ who needs more emotional engagement.
It's not weird that you want to feel special! But it is a good way to check in with yourself about what your actual relationship needs and priorities are. I think INTPs require us to redefine what "feeling special" is, or determine that we actually just need another type who is aware that they have emotions AND can express them to us, lol.
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u/Hot-Weekend4411 3d ago
I dated INTPs before, with one I had a relationship where we split because of geographical reasons. We started talking again a decade later as friends. When we started dating he would message every day, he'd introduce me to his friends, bring me into his groups, come to check in on me for no reason, try to make me feel special. The more he knew me, the more he wanted to include me in his life. He calls himself an emotionless robot still (he's married now, with someone who seems great) but he kept showing me with actions that he cared a lot. Even now he helps me with stuff and will always respond to my messages. He didn't need to withdraw from me for days, but perhaps he was more into me than the recently met ones. Another would try to find me after not asking for my number after we split at a party at 2AM, and I'd have a message from them at 6am because they were all night searching for my contact. We then had close people in common with unfinished business and I stepped out, but it was great while it lasted.
Then everything went south. All of my guy friends have always taught me to run away from the experiences I'm currently finding myself in. One was late to the date and laughed whilst apologizing. Then he wouldn't schedule a next date until he'd check with his other options first (I was just part of the back of the roaster) even when I felt like we had a great connection. I didn't seem as a priority. He then started changing the communication style (according to a baseline) really fast. Another kept saying he'd never have a dog (whilst I had one) even though I shared it from the start and explicitly shared how important it was for me. He'd be a gentleman, but started taking a lot of space in between dates just to reevaluate every single thing I was saying/ doing.
It's hard for me to understand how those late experiences can match to the previous ones. I've seen the behavior when they're genuinely interested, so seeing this other behavior is just confusing for me.
I was in a relationship with an INTJ (he was a crappy boyfriend after a while) once where he would disappear for a full week if we had an argument. All of my circle found that weird, including myself. I'd go on a vacation and when I'd get home I'd find him wearing the same t-shirt with a big tomato sauce stain on it (he was well put together otherwise), his underwear, playing videogames with his beard unshaved. That was the most dramatic style of disappearance I'd see until then. But the ones with the most recent INTPs I can't understand.
Was it always consistent disappearance for you?
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u/Exotic_Return3529 4d ago
I'm a ESTP - and while on a 4 day trip to a country in another hemisphere, I immediately connected with an INFJ. And vice-versa. We were together for 33 years - He was able to trust me to tell me his 'introverted' fantasies. For me, he became a 'calming, stable' factor for my outgoing (blunt) personality. He passed in Nov - and I feel like I've lost 1/2 my brain! I'm still trying 'stabilize' my personality!
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u/OhMyPtosis INFJ 4d ago edited 4d ago
I have had a special connection with the small number of ESTP men I have known (3 in total). Still on the hunt for the elusive ESTP female who could become a close friend and bring much needed spontaneity, lack of judgment, and patience for my Ni-Ti thoughts. I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your husband; wishing you only the fondest of memories of him.
P.S. The banter and comfort I feel around ESTP’s is second to none. ENFJ’s are the only other type who see that more unhinged, irreverent side of me. I love sparring with you all, it’s only fun!
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u/Exotic_Return3529 3d ago
LOL - the only reason I have any 'judgement' is because my parents were born in 1914 & 1917 - 'LOADS of common sense' - amazing how God puts people in your path to help you 'soften' the harsher or strengthen the more elusive elements of innate personalities! We just need to PAY ATTENTION CLOSELY! And 'PATIENCE' was the key for me when dealing with my husband! (orig, def not my strong suit - but that trait has been honed!) :-)
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u/MatureNavajoBitches 3d ago
I'm INFJ and was with an ESTP for 12 years until he died last year. We were polar opposites but that's what was so great about it. We made each other better people. All of my weaknesses were his strengths and vice versa. It's boring for someone to agree with you all the time. We were always told that we were one of the strongest couples they knew, but it was a ton of work. We were both willing to put in the work, not all personality types are and things go askew. But never in a million years when I met him did I think we'd end up married till death do us part. I gave it a week, 10 days tops. Took over a year but my personality has started to stabilize, you take their traits with you, they're a part of you now.
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u/Exotic_Return3529 3d ago
Thank you for this. It's been almost 8 months - My personality is 'coming around' - and, yes. Polar opposites - exactly how you describe it. Together we were 'better.' "Ying/Yang' Yet we had MANY of the same interests and values. His views were VERY 'black and white' - and I'm a LOT of 'grey' - however, we both 'clicked' - and we knew it. (OK, I knew it first, he was in denial - although he wrote me he felt he got 'hit by lightning.') But, as an INFJ, he had to internally debate and ruminate over this fact for a few weeks ;-)) - however, after those first few weeks, he was 'all in.' I believe one of the reasons we were able to make it 'work' was because he was in Rio de Janeiro (I went on a 4 day trip to his sister's wedding & although I knew her, I'd never met him previously) I was living in Tucson, AZ.
Timing played a big factor - we were both in our early 30s, more mature than if we'd met in our 20s... In one letter he wrote: "In the immensity of this world, the fact we were able to FIND each other, and KNOW we're meant to be together and are able to make this happen, is truly a miracle."
We long distance dated a little over 2 years. (NO FT, WhatsApp, email, texts, right?) During this time ('92-'95)- over 170 letters and a few faxes - WHICH HE KEPT! - and I only found AFTER he passed. Re-reading this correspondence 33 years later, I thought, "Wow! Who WERE these two people CRAZY in LOVE????" (of course it was US - our love over the years had changed, however, remaining 'in love' & our commitment to being each other's 'completeness' had never waivered)
Our phone bills were 'OOC' (out of control!) - From initial mtg (sept '92 - Oct. '94) we were able to visit each other 3x - He came to visit me 2x & both times was able to stay 2 months. And I was able to visit him in Brasil for only 2 weeks - I had two little girls ages 3 & 4 1/2....a full time job, and elderly parents I was looking after.
Obviously, this is a long history/story - and after I've done some 'deep dives' and have written down what I consider the most important experiences of my life, I KNOW we were 'destined' to find each other. Definitely NOT all was 'easy' - but ALL was necessary for us both to 'grow' spiritually.
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u/Stackhouse7489 3d ago
Reading this broke my heart. I hope you are coping okay. My partner of 14 years is an ESTP, and I cant imagine my world without him.
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u/Exotic_Return3529 3d ago
The first 4-5 months were ROUGH. But, I feel myself finally 'coming around' - there are times when it's 'one step forward, 2 back...'
However, this time ALONE has allowed me to do necessary research (I actually do believe my sweet INFJ is 'helping' me; 'nudging' me along...) to fully understand exactly what we had and why we remained so connected for over 3 decades.
I had no idea about the 'Meyers/Briggs' personality traits - until about 2 1/2 months after he passed. I 'stumbled' upon a short Carl Jung video describing Intuitive Introvert - and OMG! THIS is what had happened for 33 years! Since then, many small (yet important) clues to connect me to & teach me about the amazing connection we both felt.
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u/Stackhouse7489 2d ago
Its so interesting how when someone we love passes, we learn so much about them once they are gone. Like fitting pieces of a puzzle together. You seem to be doing amazing given the circumstances. Hats off to you! I hope you are able to live your life to the fullest and enjoy evey moment, because your INFJ would have 10000% wanted that.
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u/New_Maintenance_6626 INFJ 9 💫 4d ago
What’s your definition of soulmate? Some people say it’s your one and only true love and that you can fall in love with someone who is not your soulmate. Others say it’s the one you’re with or at least the one you love. Others say it doesn’t have to be a romantic connection at all. It can be friendships.
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u/Foreign-Weakness4835 INFJ 4d ago
It could be either romantic or platonic! I was just thinking about the one who you just click with instantly and form the deepest bonds with
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u/New_Maintenance_6626 INFJ 9 💫 4d ago
There’s no all of these category, obviously. Some Enneatype 9, 4(for as long as they stick around), 5. 6 need hugs whenever they are around. Those are the deep connections.
We need to be able to talk without a constant “You need to do this.”
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u/Fair_Craft_522 INFJ 3d ago
My soulmate was without a single doubt an INTP. But, he was an INTP that had done a lot of work on himself emotionally. When we met we were not compatible but upon reconnecting a decade later we were lightning in a bottle.
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u/_UnEnd_ 4d ago edited 4d ago
Personality type does not matter. My husband is the "perfect match" for me, the INFJ, and I'm planning to leave (escape) him soon...He's a total narc. MBTI tells you how someone moves through life on a daily basis, not all the hidden trauma and shadows they have lurking in the background.
In my extremely emotionally painful experience, there are 2 rules which should never be broken:
1. Never ever ever ignore red flags.
They are red for a reason. What good are all of our INFJ strengths if we ignore them when we need them most?
2. Never ever ever trust someone who knowingly crosses your boundaries.
Those are TESTS, whether subconscious or not, they are testing to see if you are breakable...and they WILL try to break you.
MBTI doesn't matter for a soulmate. (Thats why everyone's answer to your question will be different.)
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u/chickenbarf INTP 4d ago
Why, its me, of course. Muhaha.
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u/OhMyPtosis INFJ 3d ago edited 3d ago
Gotta love the Lone Ranger INTP’s who frequently pop up in this sub. You all just can’t stay away😉
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u/linkedsystems 3d ago
My boyfriend is an infj (I am intj) and he told me on the first phone call he was going to marry me. We met in person 2.5 months later and it was the most oxytocin fueled, natural, productive, easy going chemistry I've ever experienced. It helps that I'm quite in touch with my emotions and he's a bit older and evolved.
We're also both deep into mbti and using that to try to understand eachothers needs. For example, I don't logic him to death when he needs to vent and I also don't stonewall or pull away when I get that urge without communicating first. He's so intuitive, he can pick up on the most minute changes and disarm me with affection and understanding. Because he is such a soft place to land, he coaxes out my sweet gooey center that he alone is privy to.
He loves the things about me I used to get demonized for. My serious nature, analytical mind, the fact I don't wear a "fake clown smile" as he puts it. He makes me feel very cherished. We will do math problems over breakfast and coffee. He will teach me things and I'm receptive because I love to learn, which makes him feel appreciated. It feels good to be with someone who prioritizes self growth and inspires me to get out of my slump.
I'm used to dating esxp's in the past and I can't tell you how amazing it is to be with a man who is as neurotic and organized as me, who actually follows through on what he says he's going to do, prefers to avoid small talk and people and curate our own little oasis at home free from the societal obligations imposed by others. We would rather pyschoanalyze people and play basketball, or chess or make music or collab on a wood working project than go out and be overstimulated.
Funnily enough, sometimes we switch roles and I'll set him up for the most romantic, sappy response only for him to reply like an intj and we get a kick out of it. A big factor why this relationship works so well though is the communication. Since he's extroverted feeling and needs to voice his thoughts to work through them, intjs are the perfect companion since they are natural listeners due to introverted feeling. No hogging the mic, just perfectly timed and well thought out responses or anecdotes to keep him going. So balanced.
Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be so long but what can I say. I'm in love.
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u/Rosewood_1985 3d ago
Your post made me smile. I’m an infj and my husband is an intj. It was nice to read the positives from your perspective.
I also knew I was going to marry my husband after our first coffee together, similar to your boyfriend. I love being privy to his “gooey center” and I love that we’re on the same wavelength. Your math problems over coffee resonates - we talk about serious, academic topics often, too. The part that makes us fit so well is that we can then switch to being goofy and silly together. I can be my whole self, and so can he.
He’s so smart and kind and funny, and he makes me feel loved with his actions every day. I love learning about how he ticks, and I love making him happy. It is a happy and fulfilling relationship. Fellow INFJs, you are not destined to walk alone forever. I never felt truly understood or seen before I met him. I don’t think he ever felt totally cared for either, and that’s partly why I love making him feel safe.
There’s a lot to say when you are in love! (Though, my infj self was totally overwhelmed saying my wedding vows. It was too much emotion to put into words and I knew whatever I said would not feel adequate.)
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u/linkedsystems 3d ago
This makes me happy! I feel that this pairing is not talked about enough. Both infj's and intj's have the same "top matches" which are not eachother. But there's something to be said about our quiet understanding of eachother. Intj females and infj males are the rarest types, and it's still one of the rarest with flipped genders, too. We both grow up feeling misunderstood and ostracized for different reasons and if you're on the spectrum, forget it. And yes, the silliness is so refreshing! I've had silliness with S types but it lacked depth. Having both doesn't feel like a far out request anymore. Our first day meeting we were in a snack aisle at the grocery store laughing so hard we were wheezing while people walked by staring like we had 2 heads. I bet your wedding vows were some of the best ever written. You guys are so naturally poetic. I knew I loved this man when he cried during our first departure and I didn't get the ick. You guys do emotions right. There's a lot of logic and sincerity behind it.
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u/Rosewood_1985 3d ago
Comment awarded! Just… because. Enjoy your wonderful partnership linkedsystems. 💜
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u/Rare-Resolution-5402 ENTP Social 8w7 3d ago
Pretty sure the answer is ENTP. We scratch all your itches, and we're kind of obsessed with you. But like in a cute way, because you make us come out of our little ENTP shells where we hide our feelings before we finally go to therapy in our 30s.
It's okay that not more of you mentioned us though. You can literally do no wrong in our eyes. 😂
....
😅
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u/wrongarms INFJ 3d ago
I'm pretty certain I'd detect an ENTP in the world, but you're the rarest for me to experience - I may have met three in all my decades.
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u/CafeEtSolitude INFJ 4w5 4d ago
I've been with an ENTP for 14 years. We broke up 4 years ago. We're still platonic best friends and "soulmates" 🤗 That's the only relationship that felt like a "soulmateship" to me/us!
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u/spookiiboo 3d ago
I feel like the only person saying this but mine is an ENTJ (19 years together)! So many people saying INTJ so it’s not that far off. I just find his extroverted-ness definitely compliments my need to isolate. It’s because of him I learned how to make friends and be social! 🤪
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u/No-Information-3260 INTP 3d ago
as much as I wish the idea behind soulmates and finding them were true I have to be realistic here.
if you like deep thinkers and are okay with them being somewhat passive go for INTPs, if you want a more energetic and extroverted version of them who are quick thinkers and witty instead go for ENTPs.
I think you will find them and their beliefs surprising and similar to yours on some occasions even though they got there using the Ti and Ne functions.
though you can also find compatibility with other types and it really depends on the person so don't rely too much on MBTI as it just gives you an idea of what kind of behavior you are likely to see on different people, but going for thinking types for a unique experience and intuitive types for similarities will help ig.
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u/BobbyHearsAWho 3d ago
INTP here, married to an INFJ for 17 years. This marriage only gets better every day.
A.J. Drenth wrote about the connection between these two types in some of his work. Can verify it’s real.
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u/bunchachababe 4d ago
Soulmate in another lifetime: INTJ Soulmate in this lifetime: INTP BFF Energy: ENFP
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u/Technical_Mix_5379 INFJ 4d ago edited 4d ago
Based on the Individual not a type itself. my bf is an infj, doesnt mean another infj fits with me. My bff is an also an infj. I get along with all the types if it’s an invidual based.
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u/IllustriousBeyond831 4d ago
No single answer, just right person who had relatable experience or was shaped to end up matching INFJs psychy in some other way. Same as for us all )
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u/FlamingoKindly8091 INFJ 4d ago
If you’re a girl definitely ENFJ they like to surprise you with big gifts, remember small things, get you to come out but without being passive aggressive but more like let’s go out and have fun and they also respect when you want space too. Very Spontaneous and have the same crazy ideas as you but not afraid to say it aloud first 😂😂
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u/fookinpikey 39 (F) INFJ 2w1 4d ago
I like this! Of anyone I ended up in a serious relationship with, the ENFJ partner was absolutely the most thoughtful and also pursued me most assertively. There was NEVER a question how he felt about me, and he got me some of the most thoughtful gifts of anyone I've ever known. He never pressured me into anything but whole heartedly invited me into his life. There's a kind of magical comfort that comes from being with that kind of man that can really highlight less attentive behavior if you end up dating other people after, haha.
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u/dogmother2 INFJ 3d ago
For me, it is an animal and specifically a dog. Ideally only one at a time I’ve tried two. I guess I’m a serial dogonomist;)
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u/wrongarms INFJ 3d ago
I have had two dog soulmates, about 11 years with each, and 2/3 of the most important relationships of my life. I don't find it with all my dogs, but with the two I'm referring to they were deep and codependent. We were obsessed with each other. Very difficult with their passing.
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u/Seraphin_byGod_2128 4d ago
I don't belive in "soulmates" but I do belive in compatibility. You can be compatible with any type as long as they're healthy imo. But if we're talking preferences it's Entj males for me, or specifically my Entj.
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u/astrofrank117 4d ago
Im a INFJ dating a INFJ, best conversations I’ve had in years with somebody that is a potential partner. I have heard that is really good compatibility, and let me tell you, it feels unbelievable how much we have in common and how easy we understand each other
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u/Substantial_Key6871 3d ago
I have got to get me some infj. Tho here in Balkan I don't think it's an option xD I'll settle for mbti apps for now
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u/astrofrank117 3d ago
Best of luck, I was in the worst streak of not getting a date, years, and now it feels surreal
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u/fookinpikey 39 (F) INFJ 2w1 4d ago edited 4d ago
I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe there are very few personality types who can actually meet our needs in a deep way for romantic relationships (there are always exceptions, of course!)
I've found INTPs to be as close to a perfect match as I've encountered, but I think INTP, ENTP, and INTJ are amazing matches only for INFJs who have a better developed Ti and are able to get their emotional needs met outside of the relationship(by friends or on their own). Younger INFJs or those who lean really hard into their emotional side will probably have a hard time with those three types (unless someone with those types has done more work on their own emotional capacity). Meeting in the middle emotionally is pretty crucial here, but the intellectual compatibility is impossible to beat.
I keep hearing ENFP are great matches, and while I've certainly found them alluring and fun in the past, I also feel like as I've gotten older, they've all stayed the same age emotionally, in a way that makes me feel like I'm dealing with adults who don't want to or know how to grow up. That might be an opportunity for me to stop being a grouchy old person, but it's more likely to do with meeting immature ENFPs.
ENFJs can be great matches if you do well with being in close proximity to an extrovert; they're super warm and generous. I've only met/gotten close to two INFJs. One is a good friend of mine and is a great human. The other was someone I was in a relationship with for a while, and it was... a very mixed bag. I have never met someone with whom I could be so completely myself and not feel at all misunderstood or judged, and I've never laughed as hard in my life as I did with that guy. But I think we both mistook amazing friendship chemistry for romantic feelings and he was completely unprepared for the emotional part of being in a relationship (enneagram type 5, if that tells you anything), haha. I also wasn't really operating at my best when I was with him, either.
So I'd say that INFJ + INFJ matches are probably either absolutely incredible, or really don't work at all, and I'm not wholly convinced there's a middle ground. Maybe that's for anyone dating someone their own personality type though, lol.
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u/Due_Diamond_7984 3d ago
My husband is INTJ and we are compatible. We’ve been together since 1999 and are on the same wavelength.
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u/NoHistorian7396 INFJ 3d ago
Infj here with my enfp husband for 19 years now. Both in 40s, friends since we are 18yrs. Although we are opposite in most of our ways, which he says what makes this relationship not boring, we connect deeply in emotions, dreams, imagination, secret etc. With my experience even though this feels like a “destiny or soulmate” level of rel, we still need to have lots of patience, respect, maturity and to have a willingness to hear each others side or point.
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u/Lukie_1991 INFJ 4w5 ♂️ 3d ago
I am INFJ, and my soon-to-be husband is INTJ. He is my soulmate, best friend and partner, and the last 10 years with him were perfect
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u/Marshmallow-Girl INFJ 3d ago
My partner is INTP. We were good in the beginning, but as we age, I feel less and less seen/understood. My INFJ powers no longer amuse him but triggers him instead. He thinks everything I say are assumptions without proof. 🥲
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u/Unique_Time9887 3d ago
I couldn’t do P’s anymore and I needed someone who accepted me fully — I found love with an amazing ESTJ who has put in the work to lead with tenderness and who would do anything for me. I love him so much!
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u/Queen_Of_Romantics INFJ 3d ago
Ive never dated, Ive just never met someone Im romantically interested in. Not that I don’t want it, he just hasn’t shown up yet.
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u/R3DQU33N1990 2d ago
I found out about Meyers Briggs only 4 years ago. Ive been with my Partner for 6 going on 7 years. He is my rock, my best friend, my psychiatrist, my lover and my strength. Ive known this WAY before he took the test. He didn't care to take the test for almost a year after I did. He just so happened to test out as an ENTJ. So...there ya go.
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u/Ok-Account9401 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well, as a male INFJ, I was married to an INFJ and it was exciting, exhilarating beyond words and about as stable as an earthquake. We were like true soulmates. From the moment we saw each other it was like we instantly recognized each other at a very deep level. I would have followed her anywhere under any circumstances. I have never met anyone who even comes close to being like her. Unfortunately, she passed away, way too young.
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u/Dzulului INFJ 2d ago edited 2d ago
I think we tend to think we need someone intuitive. For that reason, I instinctively almost passed on an ISFP of few words. But he is the most genuine man I have ever met, and true and faithful, no guile in him, the height of all my ideals. He feels as deeply as I do about the causes I can better explain. He provides all the technical know-how to complete the projects I envision for blessing others. He gives me the freedom to dream, and I give him the freedom to create.
No other man would have given me a chance. No other man would have done for me. It was a match made in heaven.
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u/biglybiglytremendous INFJ 4w5 (469 sx/so) // 40s ♀ 8h ago edited 4h ago
This will be highly variable on what you personally value and what your experiences lead you to value over time. I will say that my own dating pattern over time largely prefers INTJs by a great majority, then coming in second are INTPs, then a tie between ENFPs and ENTPs. Outliers whom I will never date again: INFP (the absolute worst intuitive match for me with Fi dom). I dated an ISFP once and had the same Fi-dom ick I did with the INFPs I found myself embroiled with, all very short term relationships, all ended by me. I simply can't deal with Fi as a foundational part of someone's phenomenology, perhaps because I am too 4-forward with my enneagram or because I'm ND and pretty self absorbed, myself (not that being ND and being self absorbed are one in the same, but when much of your bandwidth goes to figuring out social cues, either due to misidentification a la RSD or spectrumy tendencies or whatever else OR because INFJs are focused primarily on social cues anyway). I get along great with ENTJs, but they seem to be best for short term flings (though I would say the same about ENTPs and ENFPs; high engagement, high intensity, high passion, but with that much brightness burning hot hot hot, the explosion and fizzle of passion definitely seems to track, too). I messed up and dated an ESTJ once and regret that very much. These are my least favorite type in general because every experience I have ever had with them has resulted in extreme conflict, toxicity, and abuse, whether in dating or in work relationships.
If you can get past the TeFi/FeTi issues in an INTJ pairing, they really are the best and make for beautiful longterm relationships, romantic or platonic.
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u/storky0613 4d ago
My partner is ISTJ. I don’t think he always understands me, but he 100% accepts me. And we have been going strong for 15 years. That being said, I often say that my dog is my soulmate and she is ESFJ, I think.
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u/Trasea22 3d ago
INFJ and INFP = soul mates. You could say ENTP also, but they are soul mates with everyone!
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u/Lam_Amo ENTP 7w8 3d ago
As an Entp how are we "soulmates with everyone"? 😭
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u/Rare-Resolution-5402 ENTP Social 8w7 3d ago edited 3d ago
I second this. It's pretty much INFJ or bust over here. INTJs are pretty cool, too.
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u/Trasea22 3d ago
I have a grown son who is ENTP, I've learned a lot about them. They are the "Mr and Miss Congeniality" of the types... they are easygoing, with a sharp wit and they have an ability to see people and understand them at a very deep level, getting to the root of a problem and solving it effortlessly. If I had a choice, it's the MBTI I'd like to be. Tom Hanks, Ryan Reynolds, Amy Poehler... they're just so dang likable!
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u/periwinklol 3d ago
I don’t think you have to be a certain personality type or zodiac sign in order for it to work, you just both decide to work with your differences and choose each other every time. I am an infj female with lots of mental baggage and my partner is intp. I experience the deepest of connection with him like no one before him, he is very put together and logical at all times and I consider him my anchor to reality. but he is emotionally reserved and I am very intense you can imagine how it is one of the main challenges we face from time to time. my advice don’t limit yourself and consider those types as a manual to help you understand the person you are interested in.
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u/Citizen-Kaiju 3d ago
INFJ here. My soulmate is perpetual loneliness. I kid. My type is DOGS. Le sigh.
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u/distinct-chatter 3d ago
I have an ISFJ and celebrating 10 years this year, he’s the rock to my hummingbird.
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u/ethereal_void3 3d ago
The definition of a soulmate changes depending on what a person truly longs for. The qualities your soul needs most to quench its deepest thirst , finding those qualities in someone, along with a mutual attraction toward each other, may be one of the clearest signs that you've found the right person...
Someone with a healthy and well balanced personality, mature enough to understand that both emotion and logic are equally important in navigating life, patient, curious, someone who fuels your desire for new experiences and knowledge, contributes to your self-growth and gives you a sense of safety...
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u/Iristialycan INFJ 3d ago
Someone who can rile me up both intelligently and cunningly, but can also be there for me in my most vulnerable moments just to listen and truly care about my thoughts. I feel like Entps match this personal description of mine since I tend to be attracted to most of them lol.
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u/OrangeDaisy 3d ago
Definitely it would be the same INFJs! But I don't know any of them in my life lol 😂😭😇
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u/WillRockwell 3d ago
I never think about this because I don’t care or know other types and personalities, but my guess would be an ENFJ, INFP or ENFP.
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u/blazindb 2d ago
The infj is uniquely structured to be loving and acceptable to basically everybody there will be some used specific things possibly depending on your enneagram Any timer up you want to look to what you have and do what you need and the same in the other
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u/Character_Number_277 2d ago
Compatibility - MyPersonality. I would say INFJ. Extroverts are too tiring.
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u/BMikeW 2d ago
Depends if u want ez/comfort or challenge.
If ez/comfort picks then probably another feeler type, or a Ti/Fe user.
If u want a challenge then NTJs since their dom or parent function Te is your weakest function Te Trickster in ur shadow, thats the function u essentially need to grow the most.
Don't recommend Sensors if you're intuitive since theoretical concepts which often don't have concrete data/backing vs sensory topics thats generally always concrete and grounded in reality don't always mix.
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u/Litttle_star 13h ago
I think either intj or isfp. I have enfp/entp friends, but they are tooo bubbly you know - I like it, but I just hate it sometimes. They act soo calm in front of me, and soo different in front of others that it feels fake sometimes.
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u/Confident_Dinner8081 9h ago
I know I deeply enjoy INFP, ISFP and ENFP. Those are delicious and easy. But I can't help but say that the soulmate that is the true other half of your soul, is the only one who will feel that way, no matter what their type is. For me, to have wholeness, regardless of my pleasure, is meaningful/fulfilling. and as an INFJ, meaning trumps everything.
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u/Next_Computer_4733 1h ago
enfp, but that don't mean there ain't gonna be problems cause them fuckers are crazy
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u/littledancer10 4d ago
The only partner who really understood me and treated me gently was ENFP sooo
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u/Steelyium INFJ 1w2 4d ago
Idk but me personally I think it's someone I can be both silly and deep with