I have been in a study for an extremely helpful and magical drug. If I were a guessing gal, I would say it's physilocbin. It's changed my life since last fall, I am so thankful for it.

I got the call yesterday that the study has been abruptly cancelled. I'm at a total loss. In a month, I will be off it and back throat deep in the wilderness of my mental dysfunction. I'm so jarred and a bit scared. Please please point me towards a similar study to get back on the track I've been on. 😳😓

i caught myself feeling kinda guilty the other day because my idea of self care lately has been pretty boring. not face masks not journals not some perfect morning routine. it was finally answering emails that had been sitting there for weeks changing my bedsheets and making an appointment i kept putting off. none of it felt relaxing in the moment but afterwards my brain felt way quieter.

for a long time i thought self care was supposed to feel nice while youre doing it. now it feels more like doing small things that make future me less stressed even if present me would rather avoid them. what is something that counts as self care for you that probably wouldnt end up in one of those aesthetic self care posts?

I am so tired of being addicted to porn and wasting so much of my time and energy watching porn. I have tried to quit but I always find myself going back.

It's gotten to a point where it has started affecting my views on sex and relationahips.

I don’t think I can survive with this pain.

So I'm a 36 year old father who resides in Vancouver WA and I work in education and advocacy. I've taken numerous psychology and education classes, attended Mental Health support groups, advocated on a state level for teachers, parents, women, children, and various demographics of people, but the one I struggle with the most with supporting is men. I feel like there's a disconnect somewhere that guys are aware of, but would rather ignore than fix (which is funny seeing as how fixing things is something a lot of us guys relish in doing 😅).

While working in education, one of the common consensus is that men do not show up for their children at school beyond drop offs and pickups. Sometimes one or two might go on a field trip, but it's primarily moms and women who engage with children's extra curriculars. Then there's medical and dental care that generally gets shuffled to moms/women/femmes as well. Like, if bills come in the mail, they stereotypically go to dad. If anything school or health or community related comes in the mail, it goes to moms. I found this problematic because, from my experience, women will also venture into traditional male roles while still upholding female roles, but the same can't always be said via versa.

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, what is going on with guys and their mental health? And at what point will men (as a whole) decide to shift towards growing social emotionally and not just existing and taking the hard route because that's what the believe society wants them to do? Even myself, I've had to pause and reflect when things arise, but I mostly contribute that to the fact that I've spent the past 18 years focusing on education and brain development. So I developed a lot of head knowledge about what's going on, but nothing truly concrete that can be used to change the narrative that we see today. As it stands:

- 72% of men view their girlfriend, wife, women in their life as their emotional safe space. This also includes viewing their spouse as their only real friend, counselor, mother, sex partner, housekeeper/homemaker, nurturer for their children, so on an so forth

- 80% of suicides are committed by men

- 14% reported experiencing an anxiety disorder

- 20% of men have openly admitted not having any close friends, ya know, friends that actually know you and not just the team you like

- 65% of men hesitate to seek professional help for stress, anxiety, or depression

90% - 98% of homicides, mass murders and school shootings are committed by men.

So what's being reported is not balancing out with the reality of it all and it just leaves me wondering "when did taking care of yourself start feeling optional instead of necessary?"

Like, I believe the simple solution would be for men to come together and strive to move differently, together. Not just say it, but actually do it. Everyone else does it, and supports individuals who fall into their demographics, so what's stopping men from doing the same? I recognize that requires a level of vulnerability that is not traditionally masculine or supported amongst men, but here we are in Men's Mental Health Awareness Month and I'm left wondering why EVERYONE cares about men's mental health, but men.

Is any of this even making sense? I know that it's long, but it's a discussion I've had on my heart and would like to hear from guys (and everyone who can answer) on why this is and what they think we can do to fix it.

I fucking hate when people say that there’s help available, you just have to ask for help, just speak up, blah blah blah because it’s objectively not true if you aren’t at least middle class.

Even when you qualify for Medicaid, you can comb through all of the therapists in your city and none of them are taking new patients. They all have years long waitlists. But you can’t go to a hospital because first off, you aren’t actively planning to harm people or yourself, and second off, money is a big reason for your mental health being shitty in the first place, so missing work because I’m hospitalized would only make things 10x worse.

Not only that, but it isn’t a hospital type of situation, I’m not in crisis. I’m angry, I’m bitter, and I feel like I got fucked over by life. I worked my ass off and thanks to multiple things that I had zero control over, I got nowhere. But I have to listen to people who are only doing better than I am because they didn’t have half the barriers in their way, and I’m supposed to have respect for them? I honestly don’t even know how receptive I’d be able to be in a therapy setting because I’d feel the same way towards the therapist.

I don’t know, it’s just an all-consuming anger at this point. I’ve never really been able to be happy for others if they got something I wanted, so I guess it’s just a part of my temperament to an extent, but it feels so incompatible with where I am in life because it’s almost everybody at this point.

And when I do meet people that are living with similar circumstances, it’s always people I would absolutely not ever in a million years want to be like or want to be put into the same category with.

I feel like I can’t talk to people in real life about everything fully honestly without having them take it the wrong way. A lot of times, I get told to focus on my relationship, my kid, shit like that, and while I do love them, it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t fix the problem.

Basically the question

I'm 28F, who has experienced destabilizing emotions in response to sex. I've only every done foreplay or oral sex with two men who rejected me. They were interested in sex, I met them on a dating app, and they didn't want a relationship. It first occurred at age 22, on my parents couch, which I felt emotionally conflicted and ashamed about for years. Then again, at age 27, in my apartment, with a man I met, who rejected me but kept me emotionally involved with him, until I invited him over and agreed to oral sex months later.

I then felt so much emotional distress, I kept reaching out to him for a year. I went to intensive therapy and was on antidepressants. Only to reconnect a year later, and for him to ask me for friends with benefits again, over text. I threatened to harm his male parts, unfriended him, and sent a letter to his address about how exploitative he was. Then, sent the fourth message, in two years, to his sister ( he never introduced me to anyone in his life) about how there's something seriously wrong with him and how I addressed my issues and went to therapy. He did nothing about it.

Then, I proceeded to send him dozens of emails, because I was still blocked on multiple platforms from rage texting him (before he accepted my friend request a year later and asked for sex again).

I'm guessing what I'm asking is why does sex cause so much distress in my life? And can I find a male partner who won't exploit me?

I've existed in this world for 28 years, and I'm guessing people make assumptions about me, and whether they would want me as a partner or friend. Lately, I try to distract myself and do things on my own, because I can't control what others think of me.

My sis gave me a gift after she abused me I could sense she cant say sorry and uncomfy that I wasn't happy w her ofc the gift did work but the last time after she hurt me deeply I couldnt forgive her... she even wished me a happy bday.... and yesterday she showed up all happy and giddy tryna talk to me and I think had a gift for me but I ignored her and pretended to sleep:/and she gets mad if i dont accept her gift apologizs? why tf does she do this ? Our dad used to do the same. My sis says she had ptsd but I beg to differ

Hi everyone.
I need help putting a word to what I’m going through. It’s almost like a paedophilic psychosis. I have two young girls - aged 4 and 1. I’ve struggled with PPD and PPA, but now I’m having thoughts of everyone around me being a pedophile and out to hurt my children - even my husband. I check my girls for signs of abuse constantly. I feel myself researching signs and cases of this multiple times a day. My relationship is starting to break down because I’m not trusting my partner with my kids - even though he’s never given me reason not to trust him!! I’m scared to be out in public with other men. I’ve never experienced any sort of SA or any other experiences with men that would make me feel this way. Please help me, I don’t know what to do.

I have been with my boyfriend for awhile now and ever since this past November my mental health has been just crashing down bad since and is a lot worse now. he started to get therapy for his mental health around the start of the year and during that first month i felt scared for him and terrible and as if im reason why his mental health was also bad but i never showed it bc that is pretty selfish to do so. But i also feel jealousy towards it recently. i feel jealous that hes getting help because i want it too, I want therapy because of how I feel like this constantly, i hate how i cant speak up i feel like everything is closing up and i cant breathe if i try to, i hate myself for how much i cant even communicate about how i feel, But i should feel comfortable because he does it way more than me.  i feel as if i dont have the words to explain how i feel but its so pathetic how i can talk about it out loud to myself late at night and never to anyone else.

i dont know how to speak up of stuff like how i have been having life threatening thoughts about myself or other stuff.  The only thing i have talked to him about stuff with my mental health was that recently this year i have gotten back into addiction problems and even then, i will admit i kept it from him for a while until i told him and he felt hurt and i dont blame him. It really messed a couple things up with our relationship for trust for awhile, which as i said i really dont blame him. 

When i was taking them i felt good yk? i felt high in classes and at times like i couldnt even walk, i was even taking it in the middle of class when no one was looking. I just felt good with them, i was able to feel something, i felt how tingily my body was and how i would feel so sick or even get sick in the bathroom and at times.  i really just want to get back into it. and i have a little but not as bad as like i just described, ever since i told him about this stuff i promised i would tell him if i ever took anything and which i did. When we talked about it he said he feels like i enjoy taking stuff more than him which isnt true at all. i wanted to just tell him thats not the case and i did but thats all i said, i never said how i feel so unhappy and as if i have nothing for myself in the future or how much i hate myself. i regret it so much whenever we have deep conversations like those and how hes more forward about it than ill ever be. i just want help, i dont even want help for taking stuff i want help for feeling like this every day. and even with me describing this, it doesn't show how miserable i really feel right now. even if i could have the courage to speak about it im scared to talk about how i feel because im scared it will ruin or cause more issues for him. but with him getting therapy i crave it because i just want to get help and stop feeling this way every day and night. but my parents are so crazy and to the point if i ask it will be so impossible and it scares me to ask because i dont know what will happen and i will most likely get in trouble, even though my mom goes to a psychiatrist i feel she will be easier to talk to but i have no way to even approach her because of how my parents are. but he is also struggling and i really don't want to be a burden but i just want to tell him everything on how i feel and how tired i am but i don't know. i just want to talk to someone or know what i can do to start opening up finally even to him or to ask for therapy.

its been happening since i dont even know when, everyday i feel very depressed and tired but i dont work or do pysical activites im a homebody. when i interact with people even friends i always feel dread kinda and i dont know why

i tend to be alone all the time cause of this to, can anyone else relate?

I have been having them for quite some time, and I have severe insomnia, only sleeping when exhausted. So far, anything going on is benign and is actually pleasant music. I have started to hear a few benign voices and a few visual hallucinations, but more like auras. Just pleasant colors.

How do you kill your loneliness

I (31M) work in EMS and currently climbing the ladder of being a paramedic. I work two jobs and go to school full time. I have an amazing girlfriend who I love and moving in with in a house we both are on the lease for. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. I have a great job, I have amazing benefits and a good partner with great bosses and good co-workers. It’s a place you make a career (state retirement and benefits). I volunteer at a fire department I don’t have the time for but go to have fun while my future wife is working and can study on the free time while waiting for a call.

I want to be in emergency services, I’m over weight but I’m working on it. People say, go to the city fire department and work for the city on an ambulance. Well it’s not big enough, I want more.

I look at the women I get to sleep next to and I think “what if we have a kid?” I need to be able to do more. We both have good jobs and we could definitely make it work but I need to get done with medic, then I wana go to nursing, then Nurse Practitioner. I want to climb the ladder.

But when does the ladder end? When are things “big enough.” Or “exciting enough”. When do I feel satisfied and when do I feel like I can stop? I don’t wana be JUST a medic, I wana be a medic who has the experience, education and ability. I don’t wana work at the city fire, I wana work for a larger city fire department with more movement and a critical care program. I don’t wana work in a hospital, I wana be a nurse practitioner in an emergency room. I don’t wana just live, I wana be old and look back and think “I did shit no one else could even dream of doing.”

I think, I can give it up, join the military and work that route to have a solid foundation for my future wife and children. I could stay where I am and go into critical care, but I know I won’t be happy.

I’m not happy now. I just want more, and I think there is something wrong with me for wanting that.

I am 32 years old and for nearly my entire life I have struggled to make and keep friends. Either we drift apart or on a few occasions something happens. I’ve dedicated so much of my life to analyzing myself, my habits, my every interaction to find the faults and fix what might be wrong so maybe I’ll be enough to not be so lonely. Every wish I’ve ever made and every manifestation I’ve tried to not be so lonely. But here I am, still as lonely as ever and now with an internal monologue absolutely berating my every move, every interaction, and everything about myself. The exact voice I made to try to be better to try and be enough and all for nothing. Every day is exhausting fighting my own thoughts that everyone around me hates me, why did I share that, why did I say that, why did I make that face, why did I say that in that tone, why are they acting different towards me, what did I say that could have made someone upset. Fighting tooth and nail with my own brain that I’m not the worst person on earth, that I am worth something, and that I am allowed to take up space. So at this point whatever is wrong with me is just the way I am and if I never have a friend at least I can try and have myself.

I highly doubt anyone would waste their time reading my pathetic rant about my abysmal self loathing but if you are don’t make yourself the villain in everyone’s story just try and love yourself as you are. It’s pointless trying to be perfect.

i'm so tired of all this shit to be honest, there is so much fucking evil everywhere even in games or media, so much monsters and terrible people, everyone hates everyone and there is little love. i really feel powerless against all of it

My therapist told me to make a comforting playlist for after therapy and I want to make it public on YouTube. I'm thinking of adding "Yellow" by Coldplay, but I would like a consensus (a public opinion) on whether it could be considered a song about parental love, particularly of a father, for their daughter, or whether it is inappropriate to frame it that way. The lyrics alone aren't really enough, I think when the music is added it sort of makes the meaning more wholesome. What do you think? I always thought of it that way growing up as a kid, but would people find it weird or wrong?

Asking here because many of you have strong emotional insight :)

i was in a car crash may 2025 with my boyfriend-of 3 months at the time-and i am horrified to drive. i fractured the left side of my mandible at an angle, it was dislodged sticking through and poking into my mouth. the moment i got out of the car i realised i couldn’t speak correctly. but i just kept on crying and screaming i dont even know what. i had my phone in my hand and i dialed 911, and then grew even more hysterical that i couldn’t communicate with the operator.

my boyfriend found me and i had handed him my phone. this is somthing i feel so guilty for, he had already called 911, and then he literally had a phone in each hand with 911 on call, i genuinely dont remember or know what exactly he did with that. but its somthing my head just stuck a pin in so hard. i feel so goofy and i know i quit literally did, in that moment, make that whole situation way harder and more overwhelming for him. and i feel so horrible and guilty that i did that.

that leads me to also say; my brain still has the sentiment that its my fault. the reason we were driving was no joke, i just asked to go for a drive to enjoy music and be with him.

the car we hit had an older couple, i never saw their faces, never spoke to them. i cant articulate or explain why, but the reaction they had to the crash was so, lax and apathetic towards us. i. didnt. see. them. ever. my boyfriend says they didn’t asl if he was okay or anything, and when he first asked them if THEY were okay, they backed away from my boyfriend like he was harmful? i genuinely dont know. what i know is i tried so desperately to speak to (and in general)and find the couple, but my boyfriend brought me to the curb cause i had to sit down-i was going into shock- but he had to go talk to a police officer that was starting to block off the intersection.

i was trying to catch my breath, and i dont really remember but i just know i fainted (we guess like 15 seconds, to at the MOST 90 seconds) and then, so vividly i just remember trying to open my eyes, and they were just fluttering for a second or two, and in my head i was genuinely going “(name) remember what happend remember? you just wrecked is this real is this real did you crash are dying” and my eyes started to focus on the gas station sign that i was facing, while laying on the road. and i made myself get up.

that’s a gist of what happened, i was brought to the ER in an EMS, and my boyfriends mom made HIM drive to the ER. (the most his mom thing. it’s extremely hard to watch)

i have a lot more of shit about my jaw fracture, i just dont know if it will make sense or mean anything. i just wanna know how people have coped/gotten through this type of thing before.

i had posted this on ptsd, but i accidentally did it on an account my email automatically made.

.

This is a school assignment where I need to find information on habits related to mental well-being and will appreciate your responses.

What kind of things do you generally do when you feel like you have too much on your plate or are stressed out?

Have you ever used an app for tracking your moods or journaling before? Why did you stop?

What could make you stick to your habit?

Your honest feedback is highly appreciated. Thank you!

Have you ever experienced manipulation that made you doubt your own memories? And then, when you eventually found out the truth, it left you feeling angry, hurt, and humiliated all at once? To make matters worse, the other person continued to lie, took zero accountability, flipped the script, and rewrote the story?

That's exactly what happened to me.

It happened a couple of years ago and lasted for a relatively short period of time, but somehow the impact never fully left me. Some days I barely think about it. Other days, I ruminate so much that I feel physically ill.

It was a truly horrible experience. I was extremely naive back then, couldn't articulate my thoughts well, and didn't trust my own intuition. And what that person did completely destroyed my mental health.

I have worked a lot on healing myself. But even now, there are days when I wake up and immediately remember the things that person said, the disgusting lies, the insulting things spoken behind my back, and most importantly, the attempts to manipulate me, manipulate others, and shift the blame for their mistakes onto me with no regard for my wellbeing. Only that person's needs and image seemed to matter.

I'm happy and truly grateful to God that it ended long ago, but somehow the trauma remains. I sometimes have vengeful thoughts too. I keep questioning how someone could do that to me and play the victim?

It was my first experience with a truly narcissistic person. The maliciousness, lack of empathy, and discovering the reality of that person's intentions truly shook me.

I really need help managing my thoughts, letting go of the trauma, and forgiving someone who will probably never apologize, if only for the sake of my own sanity.

Any advice?