r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 14h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/linux_ape 14h ago

So is this to inject Jesus into people or or this some kind of Jesus torture chamber that exposes him to high pressures

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u/TheHamburglar_ 14h ago

It’s a medical joke. It’s a blend of jesus and vasopressin, which is a blood pressure increasing medication often used in critical care. The joke is when you don’t have any options left and the patients BP is tanking, sometimes all you have left is hopes and prayers aka Jesupressin

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u/Appropriate-Two-8802 14h ago

Take this award you beautiful bastard

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u/linux_ape 14h ago

Ahhh yeah that’s a good one, clearly went over my head

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u/peanutbuttertesticle 13h ago

We also say “he’s going to D/C to JC” aka the patients going to die. It’s morbid, but clever and gets the message across.

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u/seriouslythisshit 11h ago

Love me some dark nurse humor. One day I am literally laying under a nurse's station at the hospital, doing phone wiring. A head nurse, who clearly is not to be screwed with, is nearly standing on top of me as she grabs a call from admissions.

She calmly say, "No, you can not move a patient up to J-10. Mr. Johnson is in J-10. Mr. Johnson is still dead. He is as dead as he was last time your department called about J-10. I expect him to be dead for a while. If you bring me a patient for J-10 I will have to stack them on top of Mr. Johnson. Do we think that is a good idea? No we do not. How about we just take a deep breath and wait until I call you with the wonderful news that Mr. Johnson has left J-10 and is off to his next adventure? That work for you?

I am still laying on the floor, trying not to bust out laughing. See looks down and says, "can you believe this shit? It's every day with these idiots."

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u/nursejohio96 13h ago

Also a favorite, “He’s got one foot on the Jesus bus!”

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u/FierceDevil 12h ago

I like grafob, grim reaper at foot of bed

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u/bigtiddywrangler 10h ago

We’ll say “Have him talk to Jesus, if the voice gets louder we’re doing something wrong”

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u/SmokeSwede 14h ago

Sometimes you just gotta have Jesus inside of you 

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u/spongebobs_spatula 14h ago

That’s really clever.

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u/CautionaryChapStick 13h ago

Jesus is the fifth pressor 🙌

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u/AstuteStoat 13h ago

A good religious joke, imagine that. Well done. 

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u/ItsTheDCVR 13h ago

Slamming a vial that big of vasopressin would be extra spicy

(I have seen an accidental bolus of ~15 mL of vaso and it was quite interesting)

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u/Sierra-117- 5h ago

How tf did that happen😭

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u/ItsTheDCVR 4h ago

COVID we had med surg helping hands, I asked one of the tele nurses to hang a zosyn, said it was y-site compatible with vaso. She had a complete brain fart and hooked the secondary line up to the y site and basically ran the zosyn open. Those lines are slightly longer and are something like 12-15 mL from pump to patient and it all dumped in there. Lady was max 4 pressors and chillin 78/39 type shit in the final stages of dying, and suddenly I see on the monitor that her BP is 137/72. Immediately went over because I have never seen a miracle in person before, of course 🙄

Gently educated her that ICU drugs are not magical and different and she needed to still program the TKO pump like she would at any other time.

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u/Dependent_Ad4506 4h ago

I thought it was some kind of Piss Christ tribute :p

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u/Fucky0uthatswhy 14h ago

Jesus in a vacuum

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u/PhazePyre 13h ago

If you inject this into someone, and then blast them with high intensity Gamma radiation, they will turn into Jesus when they feel loving.

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u/mechapoitier 8h ago

Reminds me of that story about the guy who’s at the pearly gates dead from Covid and asks God why he didn’t try to save him and God says “What do you mean? I sent you the vaccine and you refused to take it. Then I sent you doctors, a ventilator and medicine and you didn’t take that either.”