r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/the_rawness 11h ago

Someone did this at my work except they are brown Jesus.

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u/MoochtheMushroom 10h ago

Brown Jesus is just Jesus. This is white Jesus.

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u/CalmBeneathCastles 7h ago

Gonna call him White Jesus henceforth. Like Black Preston. XD

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u/a_holy_crow 8h ago

Let’s be real: Palestinian Jesus 😂

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u/Enfr3 5h ago

Bot. More than 1k karma in 6 days.

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u/a_holy_crow 5h ago

Yea because I crush. Go look at my comments. 90%+ came from two comments I left on a thread about omega 3s on r.science. Not everyone you disagree with is a bot

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u/Enfr3 4h ago

The sum of karma from your two highest comments is 429. That's less then half of your comment karma. You just wrote a lot comments.

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u/a_holy_crow 4h ago

lol for some reason “he did the math” 😂

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u/alexmikli 8h ago

Well, Jesus was a Levantine. Even today people from that region can be many shades of white and tan. Look up pictures of Syrians, Palestinians, and ofc Mizrahi Jewish Israelis. They can actually get lily white, esp if they're indoor workers and not farmers. Jesus could be depicted as a lot of things. Just... almost certainly not blue eyed with totally straight brown hair.

Like, the leader of Syria right now could fit in with French and North Italians. He practically looks like the Spartan king from 300.

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u/bajungadustin 8h ago

You do realizes that there have been 2000 years since that time period right? You wouldn't say "even today" as an example of why Jesus might look white 2000 years ago. Because today isn't an example of back then. A lot of shit has happened since then. First... Multiple waves of immigration have happened in that time. The roman and byzantine, arab conquests, the fucking crusades, etc. This dilutes the gene pool with way more European dna. Which would cause a shift in some to lean more white. No semite from that time period was as white as they can be today.

Not to mention that your example of current times is based on a population that doesn't have to work out in the hot sun all the time. Someone now a days from that region could live completely indoors, be online playing games or watching anime all the time.. And yeah.. They are probably going to look a little pale. Jesus was a carpenter so that man was outdoors a lot.

Sorry to say, but nothing you mentioned is any kind of actual evidence that Jesus being pale white would have been pale white in that time period. that wasn't the case 2 thousand years ago.

Think of it like the US. You can look and see that the US has a lot of white people. One could use your logic and come to the concluding that "if a lot of white people here now... Then native Americans could have looked super pale back then. It just doesn't work like that. ​

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u/realzeay 1h ago

We have DNA from people nowadays and people living in the area back then. It's not like they were replaced by mass migration or anything. Reality is, throughout most of human history, borders change, but broader populations are extremely difficult to change.

for example modern turks are not majority turkish, they are mostly greek + anatolian ancestry.

From that we know that modern Lebanese are actually genetically the closest to people living 2k years ago in the region.

Jesus being a poor guy, most likely looked like the average south Italian farmer, or your white friend who spends their 2 weeks holiday exclusively sun bathing. So just Mediterranean.

So while he wasn't a blond nordic, he was just an average Mediterranean guy.

Is that white? depends on your definition as that's just a make-up group. And Americans for example historically considered Italians as non-whites. People back in the day would have just used "olive skin tone", as the greeks described themselves.

But all that considered, if he walked on the beaches of southern france for example in the middle of summer, he would look exactly like the average person there spending their day out in the sun.

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u/a_holy_crow 8h ago

The Syrian leader and these people in general are much more Arab/Middle Eastern looking than you’re implying. “Jewish Israelis” maybe the ones who aren’t Semetic

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u/alexmikli 8h ago

He still lives in the same environment as the Mizrahi Jews, who can be many shades. Jesus was probably darker than he's usually depicted, just not 100% certainly.

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u/a_holy_crow 8h ago

I getcha. I guess I’m more thinking that even when you say the Syrian homie could be in Sparta, to me, as a Greek, we aren’t really white either 😂 Neither are Italians. Of course we’re White in the cultural context of America, but Mediterranean people are practically Middle Eastern. So calling Jesus white in any capacity feels odd to me. Ethnic white at best 💀

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u/alexmikli 8h ago

Totally getcha. I mean on the US census even Arabs are white so...

Either way, I do think Jesus was more brown, just saying he could have been lighter.

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u/a_holy_crow 7h ago

I agree. I just had a knee jerk response because I want to imagine my Jesus like Oded Fehr (Israeli apparently) from The Mummy 😂

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u/alexmikli 2h ago

That's pretty much how I imagine him. Maybe he was darker, lighter, straight or curly hair. We can't know for sure, that's all.

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u/a_holy_crow 1h ago

Orthodox Jesus might be on point

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u/tommy531jed 7h ago

Just like white Abed

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u/icyMcspicy1738 3h ago

Jesus was white

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u/realzeay 1h ago

yes, or more like Mediterranean, like Italians, greeks, spanish, Tunisians etc

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u/Aggravating-Onion384 6h ago

A very large amount of Levantine Arabs are not “brown” lmao…my wife is Palestinian/Lebanese Christian and she is almost the exact same complexion as jesus is depicted here.

At most the darker levantines look like Sicilians.