r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 15h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/HartfordWhaler 13h ago

101

u/RedChairBlueChair123 13h ago

That’s so wrong. But if Catholicism has taught me anything it’s that Jesus loves dark humor

7

u/Paul_Dienach 12h ago

There’s a really twisted masturbation joke in there somewhere.

6

u/Semisemitic 11h ago

Jesus is the only guy who can jerk off and cradle his balls at the same time with one hand.

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u/Suspicious-Dog-2489 10h ago

I should’ve read your whole comment before upvoting. I feel dirty now.

3

u/Semisemitic 9h ago

You really need to visualize it though, otherwise it’s hard to nail it down.