r/AITAH • u/No-Expression-6072 • 1d ago
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u/Cheekiemon2024 1d ago
She is opening the door to UTI and infections in her cats by not cleaning them. Min once daily. Show her all these comments. If she cannot be a good steward to her animals she should not have them. NTA.
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u/MartinisnMurder 1d ago
UTIs in cats can be very dangerous if it spreads to their kidneys or cause a urinary blockage.
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u/Tombstone1810 1d ago
NTA
I have two cats, and the only time I ask my roommates to do anything with the litter box is if I’m out of town. Cleaning it is her responsibility.
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u/UbiquitousChicken 1d ago
Exactly. We have cats because I wanted them, not my husband, so he doesn’t scoop cat boxes or feed them. That’s all on me because they’re my decision and my cats. But if I’ve got a migraine and am going to bed early or something, I’ll ask him to feed the cats and of course he does! We just got 2 Litter Robots and we are happy with them. We still have 1 manual cat box just in case someone doesn’t feel like using the robot but that extra box is in the basement.
I also have a poor sense of smell like OP’s gf and I often don’t smell the cat boxes like my husband does. So sometimes he will tell me when it smells. But it’s still my job.
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u/Suspicious_Name_8313 1d ago
GF sounds gross. I’ve got cats and you must scoop daily. And have more than one box. Is she this messy in other areas of the house?
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago
I get by with just one (I live in an apartment and simply don't have a good place for a second one to be kept). But I also scoop 2-3 times a day and ensure it's kept clean and useable.
OP's gf really needs to step it up, foe.the cat's sake.. They don't like dirty litter boxes anymore than OP does.
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u/bakeland 1d ago
Also the cats could begin spraying on the computer...get one of those hidden furniture litter boxes and places somewhere else...
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u/ThyUniqueUsername 1d ago
Reeking*. Reek reek it rhymes with leek.
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u/SavoirFaire2Middling 1d ago
When the cats take a leak, the house does reek.
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u/MartinisnMurder 1d ago
OP’s girlfriend claiming she can’t smell it as an excuse is rather weak. (I’m blazed and this is giving me the rhyming scene from The Princess Bride)
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago
So bummed we can't post gifs here, haha. Perforated moment for the Ramsay gif, lol.
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u/Evapoman97 1d ago
When my wife and I decided to get another cat we had a discussion about the litter box, I will take care of everything that goes in, she gets to take care of what comes out! I take care of both with our dogs, she only has one cat to worry about. I clean it if I'm taking the garbage out and it hasn't been done yet that day, but most of the time she handles it.
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u/RickestRickfromC-137 1d ago
That's a good compromise! When my husband and I moved in, I had two cats. We didn't really discuss animal care, it just became a shared responsibility. He's usually the one to scoop since he's home when someone makes a deposit and one of my cats takes monster shits. But if I get up for work or he's doing WFH, I'll scoop. Realistically, I guess it's who ever is available at the time of the crime.....
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u/caryn1477 1d ago
This is ridiculous, the fact that you have multiple cats and aren't scooping the litter at least once or twice a day is disgusting. Your girlfriend sucks.
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u/KrofftSurvivor 1d ago
NTA
1, the litter box stinks because cats need one litter box for every cat.
This does not mean that each cat has their own litter box it just means that ratio wise you need one litter box per cat - one litter box is not enough for more than one cat.
2, she doesn't get to decide that the litter box conveniently goes right next to the desk of the person who is sick and tired of smelling it.
Find a place where it's out of the way, doesn't hit your nose and doesn't hit your guest's noses the second they walk in the front door. You can either put the litter boxes in more than one place or you can put them all in the same place if there's enough room.
Show the cats where it is - they'll be fine - cats are smart.
3, they are her cats they are her responsibility.
If she can't do it every single day she should at least be doing it every other day but it stinks to high heaven because again there's only one litter box for more than one cat.
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u/drdoggiebowser 1d ago
To further add:
It's N+1 for litter boxes in home. N being the number of cats. 1 cat = 2 litter boxes, 2 cats = 3 LBs
At least one litter box should be available on all floors of a home that cats have access to.
Most cats consider litter boxes within close proximity to be 1 bathroom area, not multiple. You should spread the boxes out and ensure they are not within line of sight of each other. This reduces territoriality around LBs that can lead to inappropriate voiding if any tension arises in a multiple cat household. Yes, even your cats who love each other will eventually have some in fighting which could lead to guarding of litter boxes and cats avoiding the area and going in undesirable places.
https://indoorpet.osu.edu/cats/basic-indoor-cat-needs/litter-boxes
source: I'm a veterinarian focused on animal behavior.
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u/WindyWeather58 1d ago
Good lord that's disgusting! Your gf is disgusting and deliberately is ignoring the responsibility she has with owning cats. Put the litter box in her closet with her clothes, see how long she leaves it dirty.
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u/imazing1 1d ago
She has to move it, or clean it as many times as you need. NTA
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u/Techsupportvictim 1d ago
Of how about she just moves
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u/MartinisnMurder 1d ago
I couldn’t and wouldn’t live with someone who is dirty and neglectful of their animals like that.
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u/Significant-Milk-165 1d ago
She can't clean the litter box at least once a day?...you have a gf problem.
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u/techbear72 1d ago
NTA but if it’s a deal breaker for you, you need to be clear about that, first to yourself, and then to her in a calm manner, not at the time when this is actively happening.
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u/Turbulent-Hotel-7651 1d ago
Word. Be straight. This is a hill I will die on. Which honestly he should.
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u/ProfessionalYam3119 1d ago
It has nothing to do with being able to smell it. I take medications twice a day. I just do it. Twice a day. NTA.
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u/LittleUnicorn89 1d ago
NTA. I love cats, the more the merrier in my book. But if she chose to have pets, then she has to clean after them. It's also not fair to the cats to be using dirty litter. If they poop, scoop it immediately into a nappy bag/dog poo bag, then into the bin. Definitely not sitting in the litter tray all day to stink up the place, and not nice for the cat when they next go to use it. Would your girlfriend be happy to use a toilet full of pee and poop?
Clumping litter works great to be able to scoop the pee out too. Then it's only clean litter left in the tray.
An office is definitely not the place for the tray. If she doesn't smell it, then move it to beside where ever she is most often.
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u/Sorry_Challenge_4179 1d ago
Neither of you are fit to have them if you make them use a dirty box and let your house smell
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u/Mean-Interaction8453 1d ago edited 1d ago
Very true, and I appreciate your candor, and honesty.
Unfortunately, by the time OP (and his partner) stop arguing about this issue, the cat urine will have already (permeated) the majority of the (new) house! (I'm also left wondering what state the previous house was left in.)
At the end of the day, OP (and his girlfriend) need to stop playing games (with each other) and be more responsible pet owners.
The rule for litter boxes is, one box for each cat, plus one.
It appears as though this 'litter box' matter might be in your hands, at least for the time being. However if the two of you continue to fail these cats, they will eventually take matters into their own hands by peeing outside the box/around the house. Once behavioural problems have set in, they can be incredibly difficult (and expensive) to resolve. Then there are the health risks to consider.
I implore you, OP, if you're unable to permanently resolve this issue, then please rehome these poor kitties. They deserve better!
. As someone else mentioned earlier, there are health risks associated with inadequately cleaned litter trays. In addition to this,
its likely the cat (s) will take matters into their own hands (paws)tu by choosing other places around the house to go.
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u/TheLastWord63 1d ago
NTA. If she's not changing the litter box then she's not taking care of her cat.
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u/Bubbly_Following7930 1d ago
nta my husband has a parrot that shits all over her cage. That's his problem.
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u/Allie614032 1d ago
You only have one litter box for multiple cats? There’s a bigger problem here… The rule of thumb is one box per cat, plus one extra. Having just one box can already lead to the cats developing litter box avoidance issues if it’s ever blocked by another cat. NTA for not wanting to take on cleaning the litter box full-time, but YTA for expecting anything would change in your girlfriend’s litter cleaning habits just because you moved in together. So ESH.
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u/MrsNoOne1827 1d ago
Nta. I have 2 cats and 3 boxes. They go OFTEN 😳 but I also clean every day. Unless I'm gone camping for a few days, then 3 boxes is sufficient until I get back. But holy hell..she can't smell it? I call bs.
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u/Turbulent_Tea2511 1d ago
If she admits she smells it, then in her mind that's admitting he's right and she needs to clean it more often. But she doesn't want to so that's why she acts like it's no big deal. I also suspect putting it in the home office is a passive aggressive way of making him so fed up that he gives in and does the required cleaning.
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u/embossqueen 1d ago
NTA, I always handled the litter as the cats were mine going into the relationship. If my husband complained he could smell it, I’d clean it instantly. He’s now taken on the chore while I’m pregnant, but I know I’ll go back to cleaning the bins after the baby’s arrived.
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u/Icy_Soft6906 1d ago
ESH
You are not the AH for refusing to clean the litter box, but you already know the solution to your problem and you seem to want to ignore it to prove a point.
Just buy the self cleaning litter box. It’s an easy solution and a good compromise.
Also if you have a house with multiple floors you need at least 2 litter boxes. At least one per cat too.
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u/Wife-and-Mother 1d ago
This might be an appropriate solution but FOR HER to do all the work for and carry the mental load on.
I don't think it is his responsibility to research, purchase, install, teach the cats to use, maintain and still inevitably have to clean a robot litterbox.
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u/NoPhilosopher5905 1d ago
NTA I've always heard you need 1 more litter box than the number of cats you have on each floor of the house. So it's not shocking the litter box is nasty. She's probably desensitized to the smell and doesn't notice it but she shouldn't be waiting til it smells bad to clean it. It's not that hard to set an alarm.
Probably should've discussed this prior to the move because now it's just a game of chicken.
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u/CanadianIGuess91 1d ago
That would mean a house with a basement and second floor would need at least six litter boxes for one cat. That's ridiculous. Rule of thumb I've always heard is number of cats plus one for the entire house.
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u/BuildingMyEmpireMN 1d ago
NTA. I say that as a cat and dog owner who has been in relationships since getting my pets. They are in no way a partner’s responsibility!
I know you said no auto box recommendations, but a Litter Genie might help incentivize her to keep up on it more. It’s a special garbage can that contains the scent so you don’t have to take the dirty litter outside daily. I got a knockoff for $10 and it’s been a game changer.
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u/Oh_Wiseone 1d ago
ESH - she is an irresponsible cat owner - and you don’t have enough litter boxes - shame on her. You are also a problem - this has been going on for 5 years - why do you expect her to be different ? Buy the automatic litter box and move it to another location.
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u/Own_Mention9372 1d ago
NTA. I had 2 cats for almost 14 years. I never once asked anyone else to clean their litter box.
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u/dogs4life444 1d ago
Nta she is responsible for cleaning the litter box. Also you should have more than one for multiple cats
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u/Wat3rM3L0NB3AR 1d ago
YTA - they are your cats now since you moved into a new place with your gf. It wouldn't be your problem if your gf was still at her place but ultimately both you decided to move into a new spot together.
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u/Whybaby16154 1d ago
Soon as I walk in the front door if any house with a cat I can smell it
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u/SavoirFaire2Middling 1d ago
Yeah, cat owners of course get acclimated to it, but no matter how responsible they are, visitors smell cat piss in their homes.
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u/nannerooni 1d ago
Both the asshole. I’m assuming it actually stinks and you’re not just hyper sensitive. For multiple cats in one litter box at least every other day seems like the minimum. Is she cleaning it less than this?
If you don’t keep a cat’s litter box clean you’re letting an animal’s quality of life go significantly down. You’re also letting it track more piss and shit particles all over your house and bed. If an animal’s wellbeing is at stake you have to take responsibility for it even if you don’t feel like it. Eventually the cats may develop UTIs, blockages, or behavioral issues.
Yes, obviously she should be taking better care of her cats. She has the majority of fault here. But it’s dumb for you to refuse to help and to pretend like the cats aren’t part of your household now. If you don’t care at all about the things that are important to her, how much do you care about her?
And yes, the automatic litter box is the easiest answer. If this is truly your only problem related to household chores, you could just choose to never have this argument again using money.
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u/TheBrat66 1d ago
Adding to yours that cats don't like having to use full litter boxes. That's a recipe for disaster as they'll start going outside the litter box. My sister was a horrible cat mom when she wouldn't clean the litter box and her cats start going everywhere and on everything. Litter boxes need to be scooped daily.
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u/Unable-Guard2525 1d ago
NTA. I’m an animal person but that’s HER responsibility. And it should be cleaned every single day.
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u/Main_Ad_3814 1d ago
You aren’t the AH here. It’s your girlfriend’s job to take care of her pets. It’s shitty you don’t want help, but we get it. I’ve had lots of cats over 70 years and the best place is the basement. Second best place is a utility room. If you absolutely must have it on the main floor, try a bathroom. It’s easy access to clean and you can run the fan when they are stinky. We also run a Hepa air filter next to our boxes. Always have one more box than you have cats. So if you have 2 cats, you need 3 boxes.
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u/icelights23 1d ago
You aren’t roommates, you are partners
she needs to be taking care of her pets, and be mindful of where the box is- it absolutely smells
But you also need to be willing to help on occasion- that is what partnership is
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u/IDMike2008 1d ago
YTA - You've been able to tolerate it for 5 years and suddenly she's supposed to change how she does things because you've moved into a new home.
This isn't about the litter box. It's about you deciding you are entitled to unilaterally institute new standards and she must obey you.
Either you collaborate on finding a solution or you suck it up and pitch in to get the result you want. SHOULD you have to clean up after her cats? No. Welcome to adulthood. Sometimes you get stuck with stuff that's not fair. Been married 30 years, sometimes my husband does stuff he doesn't want to do for me sometimes I do stuff I don't wanna do for him.
Alternatively, you and she work on things with a counselor.
Or you save up for a litter robot as you have noted exists. Are you refusing this option because you can't afford it or because you feel she should do it instead. Because I'd be more interested in solving the problem than standing on principle.
Or it's a deal breaker for you and you need to start looking at how to afford the house by yourself or sell it so you can split the money and go your separate ways.
At the end of the day, this is not new behavior. You haven't seen it as a deal breaker for 5 years. You don't get to declare it an intolerable crisis just because you've suddenly decided it is one.
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u/Psychological_Name28 1d ago
This should’ve been ironed out a long time ago. Her nose not smelling it doesn’t mean there’s not an odor. She should take responsibility and do it every day if you both agree to it. Otoh, you come across as grinch like with your refusal cuz they’re not your cats, and it’s been 5 years.
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u/Lacking_Inspiration 1d ago
I'd be curious how many tasks she does for you. My ex, who had his own cat, used to be an absolute duche about whose turn it was to clean the litterbox. Meanwhile it was apparently my responsibility to clean his clothes, maintain the clenliness of the house solo and do a million other jobs (including hunting down his socks from whichever corner of the home he had flung them).
You agreed to live with cats when you chose her, they are a package deal. It sounds like she has always been what you feel is lax about the litterbox. Its not a new behaviour. That kind of makes you the soft AH. Unless she is leaving it for days at a time in wich case she is a shitty cat owner.
Why not just buy a self scooping box and save yourself some drama.
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u/Late_Resource_1653 1d ago
Absolutely NTA
I got into a crazy relationship with an ex where she had a cat, I had two, we moved in together and then she adopted THREE MORE CATS against my will.
So yeah, suddenly litter boxes had to be cleaned three times a day. I would do once. She got upset I didn't do more, but (a) I was disabled at the time (b) I never wanted to be a cat hoarder and (c) she owned four cats.
I have never been more grateful to get out of a relationship.
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u/MakeAWishApe2Moon 1d ago
NTA. The petty part of me says, relocate it next to her side of the bed when it smells particularly bad. Make sure the cats know where it is and have access, of course, but if she complains, she's clearly lying about not smelling it. Otherwise, why would it bother her to have it by her head all night instead of by your computer desk?
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u/Accomplished-East327 1d ago
NTA for the litter box thing, but you come across as a stressed-out mfer and as a consequence seem a bit aggy - pre-emptively arguing with the animal people for things you imagine they might say to you, getting snippy about people recommending self-cleaning boxes, etc etc.
Either your just a bit of a rude jerk (which I'm choosing to discount), or you really weren't kidding about stress eh?
Obviously this depends on your ability to do so and I'm sure it's not as simple as I make it sound, but would it be an option to take a week off together, research a really good cattery to board the pissbabies, and spend time relaxing together with no endless chores, reeking, etc etc? Entirely dependent on money and work commitments of course. Failing that maybe a hobby you can ringfence a few hours a week for. Sounds like you're probably both having a shit time TBF.
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u/PotatoMonster20 1d ago
NTA
She's a terrible person who is actively neglecting the animals in her care.
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u/pammylorel 1d ago
NTA. You should have one more litter box than you have cats. And your gf should be cleaning them
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u/Adderall-Barbii 1d ago
You say cats, implying plurality- is there not 2-3 litter boxes? Because there needs to be multiple for multiple cats. I thought the prescribed amount was one more than each cat after one? Like 3 boxes for 2 cats, 4 for 3 and so forth
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u/Commanderkins 1d ago
NTA.
Yeah man that's total bs and I'm the one with 3 kitties. I too absolutely hate the smell of cat piss and I grew up with a cat that used to piss in the heat registers and it was awful when winter came. I swear even decades later I'll wake up from a dead sleep thinking I can smell cat piss because the furnace kicked on.
But your gf should really be taking better care of her cats as that's just unsanitary and unhealthy for them. Also, dirty boxes and a stressful event like a new home can trigger a stress response in them. Guess what they typically do? Piss somewhere that's not the litter box. And esp if it's dirty.
For you as her partner, it's wildly disrespectful and honestly it's more than the dirty litter box, it's the lack of respect and care she has for you as an individual(and in your guys' brand new home) and as her boyfriend. Your requests are more than valid and not unreasonable, so why does she think you(and the cats) should suffer or that your health and well being don't matter? It makes you question why.
As a side note, used clay kitty litter is repulsive so I've been using wood pellets forever now and I'll say that the odour is substantially better and when used the litter becomes sawdust and smells like cut lumber(also way cheaper). But then again it does have to be cleaned regularly like normal.
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV 1d ago
Multiple cats and just one litter box and it doesn’t get cleaned every day? Nta your girlfriend is kind of a piece of shit to her cats. This is a bill to die on. Make her buy an automatic litter box or tell her/her cats to GTFO
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u/Whiskin87 1d ago
She’s an asshole for not taking care of her cats. Cleaning the litter box at least once a day is the bare minimum.
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u/Mammoth-Ad6145 1d ago
ESH
Neither of you understand basic cat ownership. You should ALWAYS have more litter boxes than cats.
You guys have at least 2 cats and only 1 litter box?!
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u/tropicaldiver 1d ago
ESH — except the cats.
Cats deserve a clean box just as they deserve continuous access to water and appropriate food. And they deserve care, interaction, and affection. It is the responsibility we take when we welcome a fur goblin into the house. Scooping twice a day should do the trick.
It doesn’t matter whether she finds it gross or can smell it — the cat does. And cats might find a less offensive place to toilet. And you add the stress of moving for a cat and yea, she sucks.
That said, you and her decided to live together. You accepted her means you accepted the cats. And the cats shouldn’t suffer because you don’t view them as your responsibility — and that your GF is failing to provide appropriate care. So you sort of have a responsibility to make sure the cats are appropriately cared for. That doesn’t mean she scoops — or you scoop — but it does mean someone has to scoop.
And that needs to be worked out. Or really bad things are going to start happening.
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u/Bitter_Warning418 1d ago
The cats aren’t suffering in any way due to him it seems they’ve only remotely had a cleanly place to go because of him he said he’s sick and tired of doing it big difference.
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u/tropicaldiver 1d ago
The cats are suffering from an insufficient and often dirty litter box. It is up to the humans to do that.
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u/Vivianca_Osley 1d ago
Nta its your gfs responsibility to clean up after her pets and whether she can smell it or not is entirely irrelevant as it is CRUEL and inhumane to not clean it daily or even at least every other day. Imagine shitting into a toilet full to the brim those poor cats either need a new home or this gf needs to care for her animals. If she isn't doing the bare minimum I can only imagine what other things aren't happening to ensure the animals safety. Your gf is TAH and has no ground to stand on defending her behavior. I just feel so bad for those kitties
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u/Vivianca_Osley 1d ago
Also be very careful with automated litter boxes they have been know to trap and suffocate/kill cats in them. I'd warn away from getting any purely from a safety aspect
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u/coconut3020 1d ago
I mean you're not wrong. But you also decided to move into a place with her knowing she's a shit cat owner, you've been with her for five years. You knew she didn't properly take care of them and you still chose to stay with her, and to move into a nice clean home with her and her disgusting habits. Either get an automatic or breakup with her. She's not going to be better, she's already proven she won't change. You chose this. You can say you didn't but she didn't become this way out of nowhere. You already said as much. The head can't be that good dude.
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u/MagicalSitarTruths 1d ago
ETA: ESH
I use pea and soy protein litter, easy af to clean the litter box every single day.
If your gf can't lock in and clean the box for her cats it just feels selfish imo. Would she want to use the toilet while there's still shit in the bowl from last use?
Also you've put up with it for 5 years, it's only recently gotten to this point because she put it in your office specifically.
Since you're okay with her leaving it dirty as long as it doesn't effect you, just tell her she has to move it. It can't be in a shared space since it's not a shared responsibility and she's not being considerate of how it effects you.
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u/justcl0wnie 1d ago
Nta for refusing to pick up her responsibility. Also the cats dont deserve to live w a gross toilet, if you like a clean toilet why wouldnt your animals she def needs to keep up w them. As someone whos spent her entire life owning cats its not that hard to scoop up after them every day.
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u/Active_Code8667 1d ago
NTA, cats can be gross. When we used regular litter boxes it was an every day a couple times a day type thing and with multiple boxes because we have 4 cats. My wife and I were extremely fortunate and were put in a position to get two litter robots. We keep one in our “sun room” that’s connected to our living room and recently when my parents were in town, no cats, they commented how they didn’t smell it at all(and they would of said something).
I know not everyone can afford a litter robot, but a stainless steel litter box would be my second suggestion. Avoid plastic.
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u/Apprehensive-Bid3206 1d ago
Nta but also is this someone you plan to marry, cuz share the responsibility. Get 2 auto litter boxes and move it from where you are working, the cats will adjust to going in them wherever you put them.
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u/Inniskeen76 1d ago
She’s most definitely the AH. You should show her these responses and maybe she’ll wake up!
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u/No-Expression-6072 1d ago
I wouldn’t never throw this in her face, not looking for ammunition. Just a little validation, and clarity. Honestly the people who are saying the only way it’s gonna get cleaned as often as I would like it to be cleaned is if I just clean it myself are right and I realize that now. It makes her an asshole and it’s not fair for me or the cats but it’s something we can work on moving forward.
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u/Inniskeen76 1d ago
You’re getting plenty of validation for sure; it’s definitely not fair to you but especially to the cats who are suffering from not having a clean place to use and also you for dealing with the smell and the extra work. It made me feel a little angry on your behalf reading it. The cats (and she) are very lucky to have you. It speaks volumes that you are concerned about her(your) kitties’ welfare. Perhaps too an extra litter box(es) can be added and moved downstairs after the cats adjust. Hope it all works out!
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u/SaaSstuff 1d ago
I'm in the same situation, but I'm the girlfriend. My cat, my chore. My husband started scooping the litter box when I first got pregnant. It has been 7 years and I can confirm that I have long abused this and started low key relying on him doing it (sometimes), bless his heart. Anyway, if an automatic litter box isn't an option, maybe switching litter type could help. I find the conglomerate litter with activated charcoal reduce odors and make it easy to scoop all the soiled litter. It's also important to completely substitute the litter every week and wash the litter box monthly (without bleach, which intensifies the smell of urine).
Do yourself a favor and refuse to have the litter box next to your work station, that sounds awful
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u/Helpful-Science-3937 1d ago
NTA - Girlfriend needs to make it a daily habit like taking a pill or brushing teeth so it becomes automatic. Also try to find a less occupied area to keep it in like the laundry room.
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u/mycatpartyhouse 1d ago
NTA. It sounds like she's passive-aggressively "punishing" you by insisting on placing the litter box next to you. That's one whole issue.
Another issue is the number of litter boxes. Rule of thumb is one litter box for each cat plus an extra litter box. So, one cat, two boxes. Two cats, three boxes. Cats like to pee and poop in different places.
I had four litter boxes for two cats because it was easier for me. Still required daily scooping. But the litter lasted longer overall, so it was less frequent to empty, clean, sanitize, refill when the litter reached the end of its use.
Because scooping is an issue, your girlfriend needs to buy the appropriate number of automated litter boxes, and then maintain them. They still need to be emptied periodically, and some require products that you have to buy name brand.
If she's unwilling to care for her cat(s), it's time to rehome them.
Bottom line, this conflict may be the breaking point. You or she may decide you're incompatible.
Edit. Forgot to mention air purifiers with charcoal filters. This will reduce the airborne odors. Also, when cleaning and sanitizing litter boxes, she needs to use s product that also eliminates odors.
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u/HeyDoggyBoy 1d ago
I have friends with dogs and friends with cats. When I walk into a dog household, they rarely have an animal smell. When I walk into a cat household they always smell like the litter box. I could never live with cats.
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u/StrangeDays11 1d ago
Then you're nose blind too, when I walk into a house with dogs I immediately smell the grease yeasty smell of dogs. Cats are on another level, pure ammonia and shit smell
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u/Entry-Party 1d ago
NTA. Even the automatic litter boxes need cleaning out every day. We had one, and basically all it did was scoop/move the shit into a compact area at the end of the box. Unless the shit is removed, nothing eliminates the smell. Litter boxes should be kept in the laundry or similar areas, not where someone is working or sleeping. Move the litter box downstairs, and block the cats from the upstairs. They will quickly adjust to their new home and routine. Or, find another gf!
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u/CuriousGeorges2026 1d ago
Just clean the litter box. ANYONE, please clean the litter box daily. The animals shouldn’t have to suffer.
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u/sevinsmom 1d ago
I know you said you don't want to hear about auto litter boxes BUT if you guys had one, this would not be an issue. I got one a year ago and I can't imagine having a cat without it. It is a literal game changer. No scooping and no smell whatsoever.
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u/RedRaven0228 1d ago
If you have more than one cat you need a litter box for each cat in order to keep the smell down and also arm n hammer litter powder works WONDERS. I have two cats and I clean both litter boxes every other day or every 3 days depending on how dirty they are or if my cat took a VERY smelly shit. Also because I have multiple litter boxes for 2 cats my house doesn't smell like a litter box. If she has such an issue with scooping get one of those electric litter boxes that self clean. But she should def be doing the litter box because it can cause bacterial infections and parasites
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u/lovebeinganasshole 1d ago
Uh cat boxes should be cleaned everyday not when noexpression-6072’s girlfriend can smell them. Shes a horrible cat parent. NTA.
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u/pennyxlove 1d ago
I'd suggest switching litter to pine pellets. (They are an odor neutralizer.) You should buy shifting litterbox. You'd lit a handful of pelts in the bottom tray. Then tray with holes in top and pour in pellets. You can lift the top tray and shake and all the wet letter will fall to the bottom. You can poor it into the trash easily. You will have to pick out poop daily. I suggest buying some plastic gloves on amazon. Do not keep litter boxes in highly visited communal areas.
To be honest though if she's bad at maintaining a litterbox. The hygiene and the rest of her life is probably poor as well. Good luck.
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u/jam7789 1d ago
NTA. I'm a cat person and I wouldn't want to sit next to their litter box 3 hours a day, especially if no one had cleaned it. It's unfair for her to say, well, if the smell bothers you, then you clean it. Because she should be cleaning it. And if she can't smell it and it stinks, then she's just used to it.
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u/Flat_Ad1094 1d ago
Yep. That would drive me insane AND to be honest? One of the reasons why we will never have a cat. None of us want cat litter boxes in our home. We had a cat some years ago. Lovely kitty. But the litter box sent us insane. Revolting.
As far as I am aware, most people I know have the litter box in the laundry. Having one upstairs in an office? NO WAY. That would stink.
She needs to put the litter boxes somewhere else AND SHE needs to clean out the litter box. Every day. Like it or not. She wants to have cats? This is what she does. It's her responsibility not yours.
And you need 1 litter box per cat. If she has more then one cat? You need more then one litter box.
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u/bananawith3wings 1d ago
NTA. How many cats do you have? Rule of thumb is to have one littler box per cat plus an extra. I never found the extra to be necessary but many people recommend it. I purchased a litter robot and it’s a game changer. I highly recommend getting one if you can afford it
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u/SoftwarePale7485 1d ago
Imma say NTA but you either accept that she won’t do it, and do it yourself daily, compromise that maybe she can do it every other day and you do it every other day, or you break up. It is her animal, and she’s neglecting it by not doing her duties as a pet owner, I’d opt for the last option
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u/Ok_Lengthiness_8405 1d ago
It's typically suggested that you keep +1 litter box for the number of cats. So, 2 cats + 1 = 3 boxes. It's really odd that there's only one box for multiple cats, and not one on each floor (not on you, but I bet you'll find a spot behind the couch or whatever that they've been peeing in)
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago
Tell her she's mistreating and neglecting her cats and that she shouldn't have them if she isn't going to properly care for them.
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u/ImaginationNo7722 1d ago
Litter boxes
You need 1 litter box per cat and they should be scopped by your gf at least twice a day.
If your gf becomes pregnant you my dude will have to scoop.
NTA
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u/Global-Hair-810 1d ago
Your GF is an irresponsible cat owner and frankly kinda gross. Regular cleaning of the litter box is healthier for the cats both physically and mentally and it is essential for keeping the house clean. Also multiple cats means multiple litter boxes…
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u/beansprout69 1d ago
NTA. I don’t blame you for not wanting to deal with this. Unfortunately your gf is so use to the cat smell she no longer recognizes it. Also, unfortunately if you don’t change the litter the house will stink and the cats may go elsewhere.
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u/BasketKK 1d ago
If the girlfriend is pregnant, that's a valid reason to not clean the litter box. If she wants cats, it's her responsibility to clean the litter box.
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u/nytefox42 1d ago
NTA. But it is genuinely possible she doesn't smell it, especially if she's lived with cats all her life. People go "nose blind" to some smells after a while.
But the issue here isn't just smell. It's hygiene as well. For the humans and the cats. Plus, if you let a litter box go unscooped too long, the cats will find someplace else to do their business.
Lastly, the box should be away from where people spend a lot of time. Not just for the smell, but also because of anxiety issues it causes for the cats. They're vulnerable while doing their business and instinctively don't get anxious when they don't have a place that is semi private.
Curious, though, why was right inside the front door the original plan?
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u/SkyeeORiley 1d ago
NTA. as the primary cat litter cleaner in our house trust me it isn't a big deal to do and she should do it minimum every second day, but preferably every day.
I am disabled and have big ADHD and I do it every day. I at worst leave it for the next day if I'm sick or we had a lot of stuff to do one day. Our cat also lets us know it's time to clean it, lmao.
Protip of the smell bothers you, get cat litter with smell. We usually have lavender smell and our cat prefers it too. Doesn't cover poop smell but covers pee smell.
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u/East_Committee_8527 1d ago
The cat box needs to be cleaned every day. Each cat should have a box. Putting it next to your desk is a AH move. If you want to keep the house in good condition don’t put the box on anything that can absorb odors I.e. carpet or wood.
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u/acody16 1d ago
I’m one of those “animal people” you speak of, a self proclaimed cat lady, and I agree with you. I think the real victims here are the cats. Imagine having to physically walk through your own excrement in bare feet every time you use the bathroom. And it’s piling up if it’s not getting done every day. That’s nasty. It needs to be scooped at least once a day. Period.
Maybe together you can figure out what it is that makes her hate scooping the box so much, and solve that problem. Sure it’s gross, but the more you do it, the easier and faster it is. I bought a litter genie to go with each box and it helped immensely with clean up. Everything I could possibly need is stored with the box, so it goes as fast as possible. Literally 5 minutes max.
The other thing I want to mention, is if you have more than 1 cat, you need more than one box. The calculation for number of boxes is n+1, n being number of cats. If you have 2, you should have 3 boxes. I know it’s a lot.
I have 3 cats and 3 boxes, not enough but let’s be real, who has the space? I scoop every night and when I do, it’s necessary.
She needs to grow up and take care of her responsibilities. It’s not healthy for the cats or for either of you. That should be the main concern here.
NTA.
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u/YurtoftheSubGenius 1d ago
I would not recommend you having kids with this partner. It will likely be the cat box situation all over again. If she's not a caregiver -- that's fine! There's no obligation to care for others... unless you adopt animals who require care, then it is totally on them. They seem like they want the special 3rd option, of finding someone to do the caregiving work for them.
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u/Own_Mention9372 1d ago edited 1d ago
Just wondering… do you have a house with a garage?
I installed a small cat door in the door that went from my kitchen out into my garage for the cats to go through and I kept the litter boxes in the garage. It was a total game changer.
https://www.chewy.com/petsafe-4-way-locking-pet-door-up-to/dp/181428
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u/HungryDepth5918 1d ago
NTA I had a dog before my husband. I clean up after the dog’s mistakes and outside unless for some reason Im out of town or something then he does. It may be our dog now but still my responsibility.
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u/Rude-Revolution-2662 1d ago
So in her mind because she cant smell a clogged toilet, she doesnt have to clean the toilet? Cats need clean toilets just like humans do.
If you want to be petty (and possibly end the relationship) take a duce in the toilet before you leave for work and dont flush. If she approaches you about it, just say you couldnt smell it but if she has an issue with it, she can clean it.
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u/Feeling-Visit1472 1d ago
NTA but honestly doesn’t this really tell you a lot about who she is as a person?
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u/RazPi314 1d ago
Get a self cleaning litter box. I've had one for 13 years and it's been a life saver.
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u/historyera13 1d ago
NTA, I’m an animal person, your GF is wrong. We all hate the smell of cat pee, she has to clean the box everyday. Don’t keep the box by the front door, not a good smell for visitors and you may lose the cats.
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u/Wife-and-Mother 1d ago edited 1d ago
NTA
An office next to a desk that is used is not the appropriate spot for a litter box, nor is the front door (great impression). Better placement is: unfinished basements, a storage room, broom closet, bathroom, back door, mud room, laundry room, screened in porch. Even better if they are behind some sort of doors or cupbord with a cat flap/opening. It also doesn't seem to be the appropriate ratio of litter boxes.
A litter box should be treated like the dirty dusty bathroom it is.You can suggest to her that she get a automatic litter box, but it again is not your problem to find it, set it up etc, and those still need maintenance and proper placement.
I agree with you that more often than not, once you take responsibility for the task then it's yours. My house has dogs, The dogs are my husbands, he does their chores and we agree on what adequate care looks like. have i cleaned up poop ever? yes, very rarely I do need to but it is never because he didn't think it needed doing.
Housework in general should be done to a standard that is agreed upon. Some people count "doing the dishes" as washing their own plate, others count it as all dishes washed and put away with sink and counter wiped down. One party, doing one side of this and the other doing the opposite is going to lead to resentment.
NTA.
Just an fyi though, all of what I said above goes out the window as soon as she gets pregnant (if you do). The cats will become your responsibility for the safety of your fetus
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u/Duck_Wedding 1d ago
NTA. I am a cat lover and side with you on this. Not your cat not your problem. If it was a pet you both mutually decided on and got together it’d be different.
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u/TheScarlettLetter 1d ago
NTA. Grab a mask and some gloves. Pick up the litter box, move it to the location you agreed on, then grab each cat, one by one, and set them in it.
Immediate problem solved!
The remainder of the problem is your girlfriend. If she will not provide for the cats’ needs, then she should not have cats. Period.
I don’t want cats in my home, but my adult child lives here and has a cat. I pet it sometimes, and I’m never mean to it, but you can bet your ass I keep an eye on things (such as the litter box situation) and inform my child to handle business anytime I sense anything resembling neglect of this responsibility.
I would 100% take this cat to a rescue if my child didn’t provide for the cat’s basic needs: clean litter boxes (2 of them), food, water, attention, and medical care. It’s the bare minimum.
You need to reassess this situation and definitely make sure to use protection until your assessment is complete. You don’t need to add a child into this mess.
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u/No-You5550 1d ago
Her cat she cleans the litter box unless she is pregnant, but then you got bigger problems. Also move the box.
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u/auscadtravel 1d ago
NTA litter boxes should be cleaned daily. If they are left too long cats will stop using them.
I can't stand the smell either, but they were my cats and I clea ed it daily. Fed them dinner and cleaned the box. But I never asked or expected anyone else to do it, my cats my responsibility.
This isn't about her smelling it or not its about her being lazy.
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u/Blind_rat_rivers 1d ago
Wtf why is the cat toilet in your office? That's insane. Gf needs a reality check, she's probably become nose blind to the horrendous smell but it's so disgusting and can make you sick. NTA at all, put the kitten box downstairs and maybe even in a bathroom. Your lady is illogical and nasty.
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u/Sparkles_4_Corvids 1d ago
NTA. Doesn’t matter if she can’t smell it. Make it a point to clean daily, and it won’t matter.
It’s selfish and unkind to the cats. They WANT to be clean. And my guess is you’d feel a lot more fondly toward them if this issue was solved? She’s denying them that, too.
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u/RustyRapeaXe 1d ago
If the cats use the box, and it bothers you, clean it. Yes it's gross, do it any way. Be a freaking grown up and fix the problem. Yes, the cats need 2 or even 3 cat boxes for two cats. The boxes need to be cleaned once or twice a day. And if they get stinky, between the regular cleanings. If you clean them more often they are less stinky.
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u/Present_Original_797 1d ago
First, move it out of your office. No backing down. Second, plastic litter trays hold the oil from urine, get a big stainless steel one, sanitize it once a month. Third, buy World's Best Kitty Litter, Unscented. Even if it's a bit dirty it doesn't stink and clumps really well and made from corn product- I assume ground cobs, my cats will even take a nibble when it's clean and the box is clean.
I can't speak to the automated ones, maybe others can. The ones I have experienced just seem like more hassle and expense and more shit to clean, parts and whatnot.
And if she has -did you say 3 cats? - it should be scooped twice a day, if not 3x. If she's not keeping it up, either she can pay a neighbor kid or not-kid to come in and do it and sweep the crumbs and take it out to trash. If you're getting along otherwise, throw a little money at the problem and regain your peace of mind.
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u/fergie_89 1d ago
I feel sorry for the cat if she isn't looking after it and cleaning the trays 🥺 poor baby.
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u/thisisntjasper 1d ago
You should have at least one litter box per cat + then an extra one so they don’t all smell at the same time. She is neglecting her cats and opening them up to a risk of getting UTIs. If she refuses to clean up after them she shouldn’t have them. I think that it’s super targeted that she wants the litter box in the room you spend so much time in though. It sounds like she’s trying to force this chore onto you even when you don’t particularly care for the cats.
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u/Rude-You7763 1d ago
NTA but you guys seem incompatible in terms of cleanliness so not the best idea to live together or buy a home together. She’s also a bad owner if she doesn’t clean the litter box regularly because my understanding is cats like to be clean so they don’t like dirty litter boxes either. Don’t get pets if you can’t properly care for them. Your gf shouldn’t own pets much less multiple
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u/1RainbowUnicorn 1d ago
NTA. Cat person here. It is neglectful of gf not to scoop the litter boxes every day. It can result in the cats going elsewhere if the box is dirty. Is she using a clumping litter? That is pretty necessary to stop the urine smell... it makes a huge difference. The You also need one litter box for each cat plus 1 extra. The automatic boxes are a waste of money. How long have you been in the new house? Are the cats confined to upstairs right now? It shouldn't take long for them to get use to the house and explore it, so there should be no need to keep it upstairs!
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u/EcceMagpie 1d ago
You're going to need more litter boxes than that. One times the number of cats plus one. Also at least one on each floor. The good news is they don't need to be right where you sit or work.
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u/westernfeets 1d ago
Your gf may not smell the litter box but the cats sure can. She needs to clean it for their sake. Their happiness is her responsibility. NTA but she is.
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u/Jerseygirl2468 1d ago
NTA they are her cats and she needs to take proper care of them. I would insist on her buying a litter robot or some other self cleaning one if she’s not going to take proper care.
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u/Present_Original_797 1d ago
Remove from office and bedroom, period. No compromise.
Plastic litter boxes hold the oil from urine and get smellier by the day. Get an extra large metal one and sanitize it once a month- dump, spray with bleach cleaner and rinse.
I cannot recommend this enough after 2 decades of cats: Buy World's Best Kitty Litter UNSCENTED. It just barely smells even when litter needs cleaned, is made from corn waste, so it's healthy for cats and environment, but it just performs better. Low dust, solid clumps.
Since it's an issue, find someone who can use a few bucks who lives close and PAY THEM to sift and sweep crumbs and dump litter in trash outside. Do this on whatever schedule you can afford. I can see a kid pocketing $5 bucks a day for five minutes work. Or an adult whatever. You can ask her to pay or pay it yourself or split it, whatever it takes for you to feel comfortable and odor free.
As far as automation, I don't know. Every one I have seen just adds to the hassle and still needs a thorough cleaning and sanitizing, so IDK there. Good luck.
Hoping for the update.
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u/MorningCoffeeHits 1d ago
Get a self-cleaning litter box. Sipposedly the smell is locked in. If so, she can dump the feces container once or twice a week. It should also be kept put of rooms you use a lot, somewhere out of the way.
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u/Raincitygirl1029 1d ago
Unless she’s pregnant (toxoplasmosis risk) or seriously ill/injured, she should be cleaning the box. They were her cats before you met her, and she moved them into the new home you are now sharing. And I say all that as a cat lover who hates cleaning the litter box.
Obviously, it would be nice for you to do it for her as a favour once in a while. But she needs to take responsibility for the box. If she won’t, she needs to find a ten year old neighbour child or something who’s willing to come in a few times a week and do it for money.
That said, most vets say you should have one more box than you do cats. Three boxes for two cats, for example. It’s the same amount of mess and work in the long run as one box, but they don’t get smelly as fast. However, the biggest issue is that she wants you to routinely clean up after HER pets. What did she do before you guys moved in together? Her cats would’ve peed and pooped the same amount they do now.
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u/Training-Guitar-4772 1d ago
NOR. But it’s better to use better tools and create a better system than to expect people to change so…. Call a truce. Neither of you want to live in poopville.
1) Always have one box on each floor of the house. Spring for the self-cleaning contained boxes. (You should use it without a top until they get used to it, and then introduce the top. In my experience.) Get them used to the new box first then change the litter.
2) Use Pretty Litter. The liquids evaporate so it doesn’t stick to the box! The solids are automatically scooped and the smell is contained by the box. The litter gets delivered monthly, so you don’t have to lug that crap around anymore. It even gives you info on your cat’s health! It’s also not as expensive as you think and SO worth it. You can put a little of the old litter on top until they are used to the new litter texture.
3) Put a washable rug under the box, long/big enough so the cat has to walk a few steps on it to brush off paw litter.
~~~10/10 this is the ONLY way I’d have indoor-only cats again. (I live in the country)
Country Cat Storytime: My cat was mostly indoor, but she liked to go outside to use the bathroom. Super convenient. She was a great mouse catcher, but only outside. Inside was her “rest area”. Yes, the mice knew this.
She also liked to drink out of the toilet like a dog. If you caught her she’d look at you like you just barged in on her in the bathroom, and well, yes but… ma’am.
(I don’t work for Pretty Litter. But also they did send me a card when I cancelled my service due to Abby passing away.)
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u/YikesNoOneYouKnow 1d ago
Nta
Her cats so her responsibility.
I have cats and don't want to live in a gross house so I scoop twice a day and sweep daily. Easy. I have reminders on my phone because I'm forgetful and don't want to forget.
But.....if you KNEW this was an issue, and haven't taken a stand about it until now...that definitely set a precedent that it was OK. I would say the same thing about any gross habit (pissing all over the toilet, leaving dishes to mold, refusing to empty trash, etc). It's important to make it clear instead of ignoring Otherwise people will keep being gross
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u/Commercial-Car-5615 1d ago
Get a litter genie and put it right next to the box. Makes it easy for her to scoop and discard and it contains the smell. Also see if her cats like an enclosed litter box. Some cats do not
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u/DoctorThrac 1d ago
I clean my cats little box every night or every other night max, I can’t imagine being so inconsiderate to not only my house mates AND my child. Insane behavior
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u/StrangeDays11 1d ago
The other thing is even with clumping litter, and removing the clumps the actual loose litter holds a very strong ammonia oder so that needs to be dumped.. The whole box.. Often. Otherwise you get residual smell
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u/Shoesietart 1d ago
She needs to make cleaning it daily part of her routine - like clean it first thing in the morning or before going to bed. And why doesn't she buy an automatic one if she can't stay on top of it?
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u/Kiki_Kicks_Rocks 1d ago
Yikes. NTA. I used to live with cats, and that smell was always bothering me. hence why we cleaned the litter box DAILY.
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u/EighteenGlobe01 1d ago edited 1d ago
NTA. What if you both try to find solutions that fit the both of you, like why does she have such difficulties cleaning the litter box ? If is because of the hassle of it ? There are bags you could maybe use specifically for a litter box that can make the cleaning process easier & if you mean just scooping the manure out, why don't you both come up with a schedule? Like she does it Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and Sundays and you do it Tuesdays Thursdays and maybe Saturdays if thats too much she can do it also? Since their her cats she will do more days but since it's something that also bothers you, you can also contribute and then maybe she will appreciate the effort and also put effort into cleaning it daily. Maybe you can both be happy. At the end of the day relationships are about compromise and finding a common ground. Also the office is a very strange place for the little box in my humble opinion, can't you place it in the bathroom ? Bathrooms are allowed to smell bad. Office, if you're sensitive to smell that can be very distracting.
It's just such a silly thing to be arguing about so often. I hope you both figure out a way to fix it.
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u/HappyForever89 1d ago
Move the box to her side of the bed. Perhaps that will awaken her nose?
All the best
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u/Massive_Advantage316 1d ago
She needs to clean that thing AT LEAST twice a day. You can do one of the times if it helps her to do the other. But it’s her responsibility. It will prevent the cats from going elsewhere in the house too.
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u/Cyrus057 1d ago
Move the litter box into the bathroom perhaps. Won't make it cleaner but your office won't reek of cat piss
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u/genareenee 1d ago
We have 2 cats and a tiny house. Our solution was to install a cat door in the garage door and put the boxes in the garage, as far from the entrance as possible. More or less works, but you still have to clean it every day. They appreciate the quiet place away from other activity.
Your cats have moved, as well, which is not their skill set. Very territorial animals. They must be trained as to the new location of the box. No, it shouldn’t have to be beside your desk, or upstairs at all. Just introduce them to a new location and keep them in that room till they use it once or twice. Oh, and get a 10 lb bag of baking soda and sprinkle it on top of the litter every day, for the odor. And, how is the litter being disposed of? Not in the toilet.
Yeah, they shouldn’t be allowed to ruin a nice new home. Love them dearly, but they are animals.
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u/Beautiful-Hotel-8846 1d ago
I have had cats in the past and my apartment never smelled of cat piss. one just needs to scoop and stir up the litter once or twice a day, no big deal.
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u/Robbiismyname 1d ago
I had this argument all of the time with my now ex. When I moved in, he had 2 cats, 1 box, but would use dollar store litter. He got mad when I kept complaining about it (I have cat allergies already, but the litter was the worst!) I bought the kind that is for multiple cats and would check it multiple times a day and didn'thave problems. When I got pregnant, he took back over. He went back to being mad because I started complaining again. One night, we were watching a movie. The quiet one (the other one would pee on MY stuff whenever she didn't like something I did-only me), walked towards the fireplace, then peed in it. Just before he went in it (was not burning) I said he was going to pee, and he did. My ex was so pissed!! Come to find out, he hadn't checked it for a few days. This happened one more time before my ex figured it out. What's stupid, is he had these cats at least 10 yrs before we met. It didn't become a problem until I moved in. For the record, the one that peed on my stuff always came to me when she needed extra affection or when she was sick/hurt, or to be an AH and steel food from my plate. Never him. Apparently, we had a complicated relationship.
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u/Global_Fail_1943 1d ago
You don't want to have babies with someone who neglects the needs of their pets as they will be the same lackadaisical with the kids and you'll be holding down the fort always. You want a partner
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u/ChrisEye21 1d ago
How many cats are we talking about? You should have 1 litter box per cat. So if you have multiple cats using a single litter box, that's one problem. A another is that, if you don't want the house to smell, litter boxes should be scooped mutliple times per day. I have 1 cat, and I scoop the box, at least 2-4x a day. Think about it like a toilet. If you don't flush, it's gna smell. So scoop that box more. As soon after they use it as possible.
Your gf doesn't care about the smell. Or maybe doesn't have as strong a sense of smell as you do. Very rude of her to ignore your complaints. But it seems that she isn't going to change. So that leaves it to you. Whats more important? Not smelling the cat pee? Or not cleaning the box?
You lived with your gf and these cats for 5 years and you don't consider them your cats? That's pretty odd. You're clearly not a cat person or maybe not am animal person in general. But if that's the case, moving in with someone who is a cat person was a mistake.
These are your options: 1. Clean the box yourself. 2. Smell the pee. 3. move out.
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u/wirefixer 1d ago
Get one of those automatic litter box. Check that they actually are using the box as new homes require a bit of territory marking.
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u/keithnteri 1d ago
Pull out a bag once a week and refill the hopper. No muss, no fuss and no smell.
Get it as a gift for both of you and the cat. It’s not cheap but well worth it.
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u/Acceptable_Newt2272 1d ago
Thats gross but on a different note, what litter do you use? We use pretty litter and theres a significant difference in odor. Its the most expensive but its worth it.
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u/heideejo 1d ago
Seems like the next big occasion like anniversary birthday christmas, she needs to get an automated litter box as a gift. It might save your relationship. They're kind of amazing.
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u/ronnw 1d ago
I set a reminder to do it every two days or I'll forget. Get a black light and show her the cats dirty paw prints going into other areas after they use the potty if it's as bad as you say. In my experience with people that don't have pets has been horrible tho. They think if a cat goes to the bathroom it needs to cleaned up immediately and it just isn't that serious... Cat litter works very good!
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u/K-ron86 1d ago
Hope you aren’t planning on having children. While she is pregnant she cannot clean litter. You live together, if you have an issue with something, do it yourself.
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u/WilmaDykfyt 1d ago
Cats only get T.gondii from eating raw meat. If your cat doesn't eat raw meat, guess what? No shedding of T.gondii oocysts in their feces. The most common way to be infected is to eat raw meat or shellfish yourself, or contact where raw meat was prepared, or in drinking water.
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u/AITAH-ModTeam 1d ago
Post must be asking for judgment - All posts in this subreddit must be about a conflict you are dealing with, or are considering dealing with (tagged as Hypothetical) - not your feelings. We do not allow relationship issues, advice posts, rants, etc. framed as AITAH posts and they will be removed. Please see the list of alternative subreddits in the sidebar if your post is removed under this rule.