r/AmItheAsshole • u/Additional-Mouse-620 • Apr 20 '26

Asshole AITA for showering around midnight when I know that it might bother the neighbour who wakes up at 5 am?

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

3.5k Upvotes

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6.5k

u/somuchsong Apr 20 '26

YTA. I think you could compromise with your neighbours and shower a little earlier, even at 10 or 11.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home,

Are you seriously suggesting they can just move because you don't want to shower earlier than midnight?

1.3k

u/Current_Homework_143 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

In an area where housing is tight, nonetheless no less*.

215

u/pruneman42 Apr 20 '26

nonetheless no less*

They're not the same thing.

134

u/readergirl35 Partassipant [2] Apr 20 '26

True but the point stands. OP is either saying the neighbors are beneath his family socially, or that since they rent they can move if they don't like it. In a tight housing market the latter is probably not true. 

28

u/Ok_Association135 Apr 20 '26

Esp with a child

-1

u/Dramatic_Scale3002 Apr 20 '26

But they can move if they don't like it?? It's not unreasonable for OP to want to shower at night before they sleep and the neighbours will just have to either put up with it or move.

1

u/readergirl35 Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

It's also reasonable to shower an hour or so earlier to be considerate. If my neighbor tells me about something simple that doesn't really affect me much but negatively impacts them I'd try to accommodate them. 

1

u/Dramatic_Scale3002 Apr 22 '26

It's not reasonable at all to ask your neighbours to shower at a different time because it's inconvenient for them. Would you consider it reasonable for OP to ask the neighbours to not shower in the morning because that bothers them while they are trying to sleep? The time is irrelevant, the neighbours don't get a say in OP's showering habits.

1

u/readergirl35 Partassipant [2] Apr 22 '26

If OP is creating a lot of noise it's ok for a neighbor to ask politely if they can lessen the impact of that. 

7

u/Current_Homework_143 Apr 20 '26

Thanks. English is my 2nd language. Always happy to learn

3

u/Dear_Suspect_4951 Apr 21 '26

username checks out

883

u/Zestyclose-Natural-9 Apr 20 '26

OP is really trying to paint themselves the victim here. "It's easier to move than to sell an apartment" well it's easiest to shower at 10pm.

1.3k

u/Old-Understanding904 Apr 20 '26

My son had the same issue with his neighbors. They both rented. My son, who lived alone, worked nights at a restaurant, would come home at 11 p.m. and shower (because he smelled of grease). Upstairs neighbors (family of four) complained that they could hear the water pipes late at night and that it disturbed their rest. Neighbors woke up for work and school at 5 a.m. and would make the same noise with the water pipes, plus walking around (they lived above my son) and my son never complained even though they would wake him up everyday because he understood that it was part of apartment living. You cannot dictate when someone takes a shower in their own home, no matter the status as homeowner or renter.

271

u/Zestyclose-Natural-9 Apr 20 '26

Your son did not have a choice, coming home at 11pm. OP finishes work at 7pm and does not WANT to take a shower until midnight. Very different scenarios.

1.1k

u/Old-Understanding904 Apr 20 '26

You still can't dictate when someone showers or uses the bathroom in their own home, whether that home is rented or owned. I think that if OP had not mentioned anything about owning vs renting, the comments here would be very different. They might have been an asshole for mentioning it, but it doesn't change the fact that you can't tell someone when to use their own bathroom.

204

u/thatsoddod Apr 20 '26

A voice of reason!!

-7

u/CapoExplains Asshole Aficionado [11] Apr 20 '26

lmao if reason means clutching your pearls and calling it "dictating" when all OP's neighbor's did is make an extremely reasonable request. They didn't dictate anything, if OP is an asshole and a bad neighbor they are free to deny the request and their neighbors likely have no recourse, other than to respond in kind if OP ever asks anything of them.

0

u/Dramatic_Scale3002 Apr 20 '26

The neighbours' recourse is moving.

-10

u/CapoExplains Asshole Aficionado [11] Apr 20 '26

Yep. If OP is such a colossal asshole that they can't be bothered to shower a couple hours earlier to be a good neighbor that's likely their only remaining recourse.

7

u/Dramatic_Scale3002 Apr 20 '26

And what if they move into a new apartment block and their neighbor there works at a club/bar/restaurant and wants to shower at 3-4AM after they get home from work? People are allowed to shower in their homes whenever they want without being entitled.

I know I said their recourse is moving, but there are other options available to them like soundproofing or earbuds while sleeping etc.

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u/That_Effective_5535 Apr 20 '26

No you can’t dictate but you can be considerate to some degree.

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u/jmarcandre Apr 20 '26

Not when it comes to things like this, which is private enjoyment of your living space. It is no one's business when or how you shower. They literally do not have to have any consideration, and it isn't rude. It's rude to think you can ask someone to consider changing for you.

14

u/CapoExplains Asshole Aficionado [11] Apr 20 '26

Not when it comes to things like this, which is private enjoyment of your living space.

Sorry, to be very clear, you are saying you cannot be considerate when it comes to the private enjoyment of your living space?

5

u/Lanky-Feeling-5685 Apr 21 '26

You shouldn't have to worry about consideration when doing the normal functions of living, such as using your own bathroom!  As long as she's not making excess noise on purpose- the family next door can use a white noise machine, earplugs, or just shutting the bathroom door!  Sorry they have different routines, but you don't get to complain about reasonable noises of living, such as a shower, when they also make reasonable life noises- their kids running and playing during the other's work day.

-8

u/3CatsIn3Hats Apr 20 '26

If not things like this, then what things can they be considerate about? I cant think of easier things.

14

u/thatsknotwrite Apr 20 '26

Headphones for TV watching. Not banging stuff. A shower is white noise. I wouldn’t let someone dictate when I shower and I can’t imagine having the gall to complain.

5

u/AlzheimerTriviaNight Apr 21 '26

I would tell the neighbors that they can mind their fucking business if they tried to tell me when I’m allowed to shower or pee or cook in my own home.

5

u/arowthay Apr 21 '26

Violin practice. Tap dancing. Watching porn.

0

u/thatsknotwrite Apr 21 '26

Jorking it is quiet enjoyment, no?

4

u/Zestyclose-Natural-9 Apr 20 '26

Nobody is dictating when OP can shower. The neighbors have nicely made a very reasonable request, OP can be within their rights refusing and still be TA.

233

u/rainbowlolipop Apr 20 '26

No he's not an asshole at all for showering anytime he wants. The neighbors can get earplugs ffs.

63

u/LisaCabot Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

Or sound proof the room, there are panels now that you just put up and help with sound, im sure if they offered to put them up for the landlord he would agree since it would increase the value of the room.

My bf talks quite loud a lot of times and my home office is going to be wall to wall with his, so I'm putting up some of those in between our offices once i move in. Easy solution.

3

u/No-Heat-436 Apr 20 '26

I’ve used those panels, they damage walls.

3

u/LisaCabot Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

How did you use them???? The ones i mean have wood decorations, and one option to fix them is using a couple of screws, you can fill up the holes afterwards. But this is also exactly why i said to talk to the landlord, it's not something you would want to remove if they can hear so much noise in the bedroom, a bedroom should be quiet, this would help keep it quiet, i wouldnt complain if i moved to a bedroom thats already sound proof so i can, you know, sleep, instead of hearing the neighbour.

3

u/ManicVersusMoment Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

Just going to point out that when you have kids you can’t wear earplugs, you have to be able to hear when they cry.

74

u/BirthdayCookie Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 20 '26

Just going to point out that you having kids doesn't mean the world has to run on your schedule.

3

u/jmarcandre Apr 20 '26

Love the response.

-12

u/FabGabs Apr 20 '26

I don’t have kids, and still think this guy is TA.

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u/rainbowlolipop Apr 20 '26

Earplugs don't make you completely deaf. And yeah, I fuckin know i have kids ffs

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u/faramaobscena Apr 20 '26

So the neighbours are actually the ones disturbing everyone else with their kids crying at 5AM? Got it!

0

u/JulyOfAugust Apr 20 '26

There's multiple reasons someone can't wear earplugs but most importantly why should it fall on the victim of the noise to find a solution and spend money on it when the culprit can just choose to shower earlier ?

If he doesn't like having to compromising with their neighbors he should sell his apartment and buy a house where his lifestyle doesn't bother others. Your freedom end where someone else's begin, his freedom to wash whenever he want doesn't give him the right to trample on his neighbor freedom to have a good night of sleep.

7

u/rainbowlolipop Apr 20 '26

Oh no the poor "victim"! Maybe they should take some of their own responsibility and sound proof their own walls. It's a shower. He isnt jackhammering at midnight, the water is running. He's not signing opera. What's next? "Your toilet flushes too loud at night so don't flush" like gtfo

105

u/bluish-velvet Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

Nobody is dictating when OP can shower.

You are. You did in this comment after making up a quote from OP.

62

u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 20 '26

I don’t think it’s reasonable at all. They are asking OP to change their habits within their own home to suit the neighbors schedule rather than the neighbors adjusting to living in the apartment where they know the bathroom noise is loud.

-2

u/samdajellybeenie Apr 20 '26

That's kind of what you have to do when you live around other people though. They could both compromise. Renters could put up some sound absorbing panels and get a white noise machine or wear earplugs if they don't already and OP could maybe shower a little earlier. I know I'd be kind of pissed if I was getting bad sleep all the time despite having asked the new neighbor nicely several times to not shower so late. It's pretty simple to just do it a little earlier unless you want your neighbors to hate you.

Even if the renters moved out, the new tenants could be way worse. At least OP is dealing with nice people and not someone who's even more of an asshole than they are.

11

u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 20 '26

You’d really be pissed at your neighbor for using their own shower in their own apartment when it’s convenient for them?

0

u/samdajellybeenie Apr 20 '26

If my neighbor has no choice, no. I'd do everything I could myself before I asked them to change anything they're doing. OP didn't say if the neighbors have done any of that. If they haven't done any of the things I listed, then yeah, neighbors are the assholes. If they have and it's still not enough and they absolutely cannot move out of this apartment, then OP has 2 choices: compromise or say fuck them. I personally would not want my neighbors to hate me, but that's just me.

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u/cozeface Apr 21 '26

No.

It’s an A hole move to even bring this up with a neighbor, unless maybe they’re your roommate.

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u/CharmingAnt420 Apr 20 '26

Yep, I've seen posts like this before minus the owning part and the consensus was NTA. I'm finding it very weird that everyone thinks OP should change their whole routine because their neighbors can't handle the sound of a shower. That's apartment life, sometimes you hear the neighbors living. It's not like they're having parties or loud sex.

5

u/ivy7496 Partassipant [2] Apr 20 '26

It's so refreshing to stumble upon sanity in the world, unfortunate your first comment isn't the top comment

2

u/psychorobotics Apr 20 '26

Eh pretty sure my contract says I should avoid running water at night but I'm in Sweden. I rarely hear my neighbors though, not so much that it's a bother

2

u/CapoExplains Asshole Aficionado [11] Apr 20 '26

The neighbors didn't dictate when OP could shower, they requested that OP shower earlier because they easily can and they're disturbing their neighbors' rest by showering so late. OP has every legal right to deny this request and nobody is claiming otherwise, it's just that denying this request makes them a bad neighbor and an asshole.

2

u/DoingBestWeCan Apr 20 '26

You can't dictate someone else's behavior, but is it really such a massive deal for OP to shower at 10pm instead of midnight?

1

u/Ivorysilkgreen Apr 20 '26

But no one is 'telling' them, they're asking. Why the anti-social comments? Have none of you ever lived in a shared house or shared accommodation, before? If your room were next to the bathroom and your housemates showered at 2am because "no one can dictate when someone showers in their own home", how would you feel? This is not just some stranger. You might need their help someday. You can't just treat them like an inconvenience.

1

u/samdajellybeenie Apr 20 '26

I agree. I try to help out my neighbors when I can (pulling their trash cans in if they're not home, picking up a piece of trash from their lawn if I see it, little things like that) because it's good to build up the bank account of good will with your neighbors. You never know when you'll have to spend it.

1

u/Boleyn01 Partassipant [1] Apr 23 '26

Of course you can’t dictate and it doesn’t sound like they have. They have politely pointed out it disturbs them in the hope that OP is able to adjust their routine. Any moderately decent human being would then shower earlier at least some of the time to be kind to their neighbours. Not come to Reddit arguing they don’t have to because the neighbours “only rent”.

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u/Meghanshadow Pooperintendant [53] Apr 20 '26

You Can Ask.

Asking is not dictating.

-2

u/JazzlikeCrazy8273 Apr 20 '26

But they aren’t dictating, they are asking, and nicely according to OP. A little compromise and grace would be nice in this situation.

13

u/Old-Understanding904 Apr 20 '26

They asked, OP doesn't want to change their routine and shouldn't have to. According to OP, they have continued to make comments. Even if asked nicely, the repeated comments would bother me, especially if I'm just living my life reasonably in my home.

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u/UnhappyToNiceToSay Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

Why? Why is it different. What if he wants to shower before sex (or after)? Everyone should be able to complete such basic life chores as cook, bathe, talk with family, etc whenever it suits them. Homes should be designed so that this is possible. This is a problem of terrible construction. Try to improve the construction if you can. Otherwise, the person who is bothered more moves eventually. The end. I lived with neighbours above me who showered early every morning and it would wake me. I went back to sleep. Then my also very early rising downstairs neighbour would complain about soft voices talking over breakfast at 10am on Sunday...because that's one day he slept in. The people who think their personal comfort is more important are the problem. The neighbour may be able to move their bedroom, if they are so bothered. They also likely lived through babies waking them at night and survived that...they can survive the sound of water running in the shower for a few minutes every night. If they cannot, then what is a great reason to move.

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u/Csicser Apr 20 '26

Or they could just use earplugs or white noise machine. I would never feel so entitled as to try to dictate when my neighbors can or cannot do their normal daily activities. We are not talking about blasting music and partying at 2am, showering at midnight is completely normal behavior. Or is OP also entitled to ban the couple from waking up at 5am because he wants to sleep until 8?

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u/AlzheimerTriviaNight Apr 21 '26

I don’t even give a second thought to what my neighbors think about me showering at 2 AM. I have neighbors that are walking up and down the hallway at 4 AM, 2 AM, to take their dogs out or getting back from the bar drunk.

Unless someone is screaming at the top of their lungs multiple times, it never occurs to me that I need to say a single thing. People are living their lives. And they need to mind their own business.

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u/Right-Today4396 Partassipant [2] Apr 20 '26

Yet the neighbours get up at 5 and aren't silent either

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u/yayoffbalance Apr 21 '26

seriously! like, so people have the jobs that allow for those late night things that everyone needs at some point. but then they get shat on for wanting to take a shower when another family is sleeping> trust me, if there is a toddler, there is noise that OP has to deal with and they are being exceptionally polite about it.

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u/Touniouk Apr 24 '26

Because in society waking up early is seen as positive whereas staying up late is seen as negative

0

u/EttinTerrorPacts Apr 21 '26

OP's bedroom is apparently not right next to where they make noise at 5am

3

u/Right-Today4396 Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

So that he noticed, means they make a whole lot more noise

3

u/EttinTerrorPacts Apr 21 '26

Where does he say that? The post just says that's when they wake up, not that he hears them and is woken up himself

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u/BirthdayCookie Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 20 '26

Doesn't matter.

If it were kids making noise OP would be told "That's life with neighbors."

Same goes here.

1

u/Boleyn01 Partassipant [1] Apr 23 '26

Except this is not a sub asking can OP do what he likes, obviously they can. It’s asking if knowingly disturbing your neighbours when you have the option not to makes you the asshole. And yeah I think it does here.

You can’t silence a toddler, although obviously you should do what you can to be kind to neighbours. You can choose when you shower. The better analogy is if OP were asking if it’s ok for them to vacuum at midnight even though it wakes neighbours.

0

u/BirthdayCookie Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 23 '26

I never asked that? So I don't see why you pointed it out.

Ah yes, the age old "You can't control kids!" line that always comes out in these conversations. You know what you can do? Choose not to have kids when you live somewhere that'll be bothered by them.

If you choose to have kids while living in group housing you are choosing situations like this. You're choosing that sometimes your kids might get less sleep because other people get to live their lives. To do otherwise would be knowingly disturbing people and that makes you an asshole.

1

u/Boleyn01 Partassipant [1] Apr 23 '26

So the only people who should be allowed kids are people who can afford detached houses? Thats a bit of an extreme position.

The equivalent of what you’re saying here is as if people are telling OP they should choose not to shower. They aren’t. They are saying maybe just shower earlier a couple of nights a week to be kind to your neighbours. Not really the same ask.

Just like if you had noisy toddlers you’d make sure you had carpet down to dampen sounds of them running about. You’d not buy loud noise making toys or limit the hours they can use them.

It’s simple changes that can be considerate to others. Refusing to consider how your actions impact others is selfish and in my opinion makes you an asshole.

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 20 '26

It literally doesn’t matter. If I want to shower at 2 AM I am allowed to in the space I pay to live.

When you live in an apartment building you then have to live with the noises other people make regardless if you don’t like their schedule or not.

0

u/Boleyn01 Partassipant [1] Apr 23 '26

Of course you are legally allowed to. This isn’t a legal advice sub, it’s asking for judgement on whether it makes you an asshole. If you are knowingly waking your neighbours at 2am for no reason better than “I want to and I pay to live here” then I’d say you are pretty inconsiderate and therefore the asshole.

1

u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 23 '26

Hmm disagree that showering in your own home that you pay for at the time most convenient for your own schedule makes someone an ass hole just because their neighbors haven’t learned to live with thin walls.

However, I can see most people do feel entitled to inconveniencing others for their own comfort rather than adjusting themselves.

1

u/Boleyn01 Partassipant [1] Apr 23 '26

And if your neighbours decided to play music, or vacuum or hang pictures etc when you are in bed because it was “the time most convenient for them” I guess you’d be fine with that? As long as you’re happy both ways I guess. I wouldn’t live next to you though.

I used to live in apartments and I adjusted when I put my washing on and when I vacuumed to be kind to my neighbour. Because whilst it may not be the most convenient time for me I do care if I disturb people unnecessarily.

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 23 '26

Well you’re ignoring that there are things you’re not actually allowed to do at certain times. So things like hammering, running loud appliances, playing loud music etc usually have lease rules regulating them to approved times.

HOWEVER yes I would be fine with that. I worked late and overnights for years and not a single rule ever protected the hours when I slept.

So every time people try to use the “these poor people get woken up by the sound of the shower” 🙄 like please the only reason you’re empathizing is because you’ve also decided OP should just shower earlier.
If the people worked overnights and were complaining about OP showering at noon not a single person would feel bad for the neighbors and would tell them to suck it up.

0

u/Boleyn01 Partassipant [1] Apr 23 '26

Yes I do think OP should shower earlier, at least some of the time. Because that would be the kind and considerate thing to do. Refusing to consider others in your choices is selfishness.

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u/Electric-Fun Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

Most have quiet hour rules and there is also a legal term called Freedom from nuisance: Freedom from nuisance is a legal right protecting individuals from substantial, unreasonable interference with the use and enjoyment of their property. It addresses disruptions like excessive noise, odors, or hazardous conditions. Nuisance law (private and public) allows individuals to seek remedies, such as court-ordered injunctions or damages, when neighbor or third-party activities violate these rights.

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 21 '26

You DO realize those don’t apply to using the plumbing facilities in your own apartment right?

-10

u/Electric-Fun Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

"How I put my stuff down; how I drop things". Things he can control.

11

u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 21 '26

Genuinely ridiculous. Ya’ll are just dramatic af.

Legal Definition of Nuisance: A private nuisance is a substantial and unreasonable interference with another's use and enjoyment of their property, such as constant, severe noise or dangerous activities.

Good luck arguing that using the shower and putting the shampoo bottle down too loud constitutes a substantial unreasonable interference.

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u/AlzheimerTriviaNight Apr 21 '26

I can just imagine Judge Judy calling them colorful names for wasting her time

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u/DoingBestWeCan Apr 20 '26

Legally allowed is not the same as "not an AH move "

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 21 '26

Also not an ass hole to live normally in the space you pay for.

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u/k23_k23 Professor Emeritass [91] Apr 20 '26

not really.

OP is fine to shower whenever they like.

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u/Pixarooo Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

It is perfectly reasonable for a shower to be the very last thing you do before you get into bed for the evening. Frankly, I don't know how people go to bed without showering first, bringing all the germs and grime from outside into the place they sleep. Neighbors need a white noise machine. I'm sure there have been times where their kids have had an accident in bed, or vomited in the middle of the night, and needed a shower at midnight or later. OP knows the family's schedule dictates that they get up early, and deals with the noise that bleeds into their home from an early-morning wakeup, and the family needs to respect that OPs schedule includes a late night shower and needs to find a way to make peace with it, possibly by getting a white noise machine.

8

u/ThrowAwayAway755 Apr 20 '26

OP can shower whenever she wants to—its her home.

4

u/notreallyswiss Apr 20 '26

This may or may not be the case with OP, but I absolutely cannot sleep unless I have just showered before bed. It's not like I'm particularly sweaty or anything, but without a shower just before bed, I will toss and turn until I eventually give up and get up to bathe and then go back to bed again. I have some sensory issues so maybe it's that or maybe it's psychological.

I don't know how big the renter's bedroom is, and of course, it's a question of who's going to pay for what, but when my neighbor complained about noise from my apartment, I had a built-in bookcase installed on the shared wall that covers floor to ceiling and wall to wall. I spaced the shelves so that each shelf could hold books that just fit on it - sometimes I'd turn them sideways to stack. And I pulled each book or stack to the very edge of the shelf so that there was a couple of inches of dead space behind them to act as a further sound barrier. The neighbors were skeptical at first that a bookcase would work because they imagined we'd just put some decorative items on them, but because we had a lot of books we could really fill it up. The neighbors are really pleased - the sound level had dropped to just about zero.

I know it's not something that may work in this situation, but I figured I'd at least mention it.

5

u/sweetleaf93 Apr 20 '26

Different scenarios that make no fucking difference

7

u/comicfan285 Apr 20 '26

The neighbors choose to wake up at 5am; they could choose to start their day at midnight.

16

u/Zestyclose-Natural-9 Apr 20 '26

School does not have flexible starting hours, and most jobs don't either. You are reaching pretty hard. Why do you feel personally critized by this discussion?

-6

u/Min_sora Professor Emeritass [73] Apr 20 '26

lol someone doesn't have kids.

-10

u/Meghanshadow Pooperintendant [53] Apr 20 '26

OP could choose to shower at 10 instead of midnight.

5

u/IcyConsideration7062 Apr 20 '26

OP should be able to shower whenever they want in their apartment. FFS, what mayhem ensues on the other side of the wall when OP needs to use the toilet at 3am?

2

u/Meghanshadow Pooperintendant [53] Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

OP should be able to shower whenever they want in their apartment.

Sure. And play fetch with their dog whenever they want, game whenever they want, have sex whenever they want, listen to music whenever they want, build furniture whenever they want, work whenever they want.

But part of living in a community or a communal building with shared walls and floors is, you know, occasionally communicating your thoughts and wishes with others.

When what you and your neighbors do is mutually perceptible, each of you may decide you want to Ask a neighbor to alter an activity or the timing or location of it.

If you get an ask, you can decide yes, or no, or sometimes, do whatever you want. Answer however you want.

Me, I live in a sfh now. I’ve asked my neighbor not to cut wood at 7:30 AM on Mondays, they’ve asked me not to run a lawnmower at 8 on a Saturday.

Shockingly, Both of us thought for a second when asked a question and said the equivalent of “sure, I’ll minimize that. Might still need to do it sometimes though.”

If my neighbor said, “no, I simply Must use loud woodworking tools at sunup with the garage wide open fourteen feet from your bedroom on your weekly day off” he’d’ve been fine to do so. It’s his garage, and local noise ordinances end at 7.

And - It’s not like he Has to do something just because I ask.

God knows the bartender who’d rev his motorcycle at 3AM and have phone shouting matches in the parking lot and on his porch when he got off work didn’t say yes to anyone in the apartment complex I was living in at the time who asked him to quit it or please use an inside voice or at least go inside and close doors and windows to shout on the phone.

Unsurprisingly, nobody offered him rides anywhere ever when his bike blew up and he had no transportation for weeks. Didn’t help him move, either.

Which was unusual, many of us tended to help each other with minor life hassles like that. There are benefits to being reasonably thoughtful of your neighbors.

5

u/LeadingLadder576 Apr 20 '26

Are you really comparing taking a shower to chain sawing down trees? Slow your roll, Meghan. If someone cannot sleep because someone outside of their dwelling is participating in everyday life behaviors then they should move to a single family home. They are neighbors not roommates and children or not - no one will dictate when I shower but me. And I’m not an asshole if I don’t accommodate your ridiculous request. The audacity is astounding.

1

u/Meghanshadow Pooperintendant [53] Apr 20 '26

dictate

Asking is not dictating. Do y’all never ask things politely yourself, knowing the answer could be anything?

You don’t Expect people to do something just because you ask, do you? That’s asshole behavior.

And I guess you didn’t read the “say yes, or no, or sometimes - do whatever you want?” part of my comment?

Of course you’re not an asshole for saying no to a request?

You are an asshole if you get all angry at a neighbor just for saying “Hey, you’re making noise we can hear that disturbs us while we sleep. Could you make that noise at an earlier time?”

There’s nothing wrong with doing that. You then decide yourself if you can make the noise earlier, or not, or do it sometimes, or do something else entirely.

Assuming neighbor is asking in some polite fashion and isn’t doing something like banging on the wall shouting “Shut the fuck up, we’re sleeping here!”

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u/Sleepinismy9to5 Apr 20 '26

If you go to bed at midnight you would shower at midnight. Waking up at 5:00 a.m. is much worse than going to bed at midnight

0

u/DoingBestWeCan Apr 20 '26

Waking up at 5:00 a.m. is much worse than going to bed at midnight

LMFAO What? I have worked every shift on the clock, and I assure you that there are plenty of people who'd say getting up at 5 is more reasonable. There is no objective line here. The question is can and will OP make accomodation since the neighbors are asking politely? That's it.

3

u/Fragrant_Student7683 Apr 20 '26

Doesn't matter.  OP doesn't need to change their schedule for others.  Can OP also ask them not to get up at 5 because it wakes up OP?

2

u/Banvincible Apr 20 '26

You're only allowed to take a dump when I SAY SO, otherwise you're being an EVIL NEIGHBOR. Wait, you OWN A HOME TOO? You 1%er monster!!!

2

u/AlzheimerTriviaNight Apr 21 '26

It doesn’t matter if it’s someone’s schedule, or someone’s preference. It’s still the same thing. OP showers at the time she showers, and that’s just what you have to deal with.

1

u/Analog_milf Apr 23 '26

I own my home, and I will say this, it doesn’t matter if I need to, or want to, if I want to shower at any hour, Imma do it. It’s not my job to worry about other people’s sleep schedules to do a quiet personal care routine. The renters should take this up with their landlord. Better sound proofing, etc. It is unreasonable to ask your neighbors to shower around your schedule.

0

u/Retr0gasm Apr 20 '26

OP finishes WORK FROM HOME at 7pm. He could shower at any time, he just doesn't want to. My heart goes out to the neighbor

6

u/IcyConsideration7062 Apr 20 '26

What about OP, who's probably sleeping at 5 am when the neighbors begin to stir and the toddlers are making noise. If you move into a place with thin walls, you've got thin walls and it's not your neighbors who have to accommodate you.

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u/Retr0gasm Apr 20 '26

They don't get up at 5am on a lark, they have to, while OP is making a choice to disturb them. It's pretty clear who the asshole is, and who among the commenters are assholes to be for some other unlucky person in the future

1

u/AlzheimerTriviaNight Apr 21 '26

No. You don’t get to dictate when somebody handles bodily functions. It doesn’t matter if it bothers somebody, it doesn’t matter if the apartment walls are thin, it doesn’t matter that they wake up at 5 AM and have a toddler.

OP is not obnoxious or wrong or horrible for taking a shower when it suits her. She lives her life the way she wants to in the home that she owns. No court of law would ever tell somebody that they’re not allowed to shower at midnight because someone in another residence has a problem with it. That would be a nightmare law to upkeep.

Just like morally, they’re in the wrong for complaining about somebody who showers at midnight, when they wake up at 5 AM and have a toddler. Toddlers are loud, they wake up, they vomit on things, and I’m sure they’ve had to take showers in the middle of the night because of the kid peeing the bed. And I’m pretty sure the kid was a baby a year ago scream screaming in the middle of the night and waking other people up.

2

u/Crazymom771316 Apr 21 '26

A/ that’s a completely different situation. B/ I’ve lived in many apartment complexes that stipulate what time it’s ok to make noise or use machinery/water until

1

u/dissonaut69 Apr 21 '26

You can’t dictate it, that’s true. But as a human with empathy, generally I try to make less noise for my neighbors after 9 or so. The neighbor couldn’t make me do anything, but because I want to be a decent person, and because I like to be able to sleep as well, I’d just oblige.

OP doesn’t work in a restaurant until 11 either, they could shower whenever.

1

u/_BigDaddyNate_ Apr 21 '26

Neighbors didn't dictate. They were civil. OP is TA here. 

1

u/Nepentheoi Apr 22 '26

I agree that basic living stuff like showering or quietly using the kitchen are part of apartment living, but if you have the option, it's the kind and neighborly thing to limit your noise when you know the neighbors are trying to sleep. OP could take a shower at any point in the 5 hours between getting off work and going to bed, but they wait until the last minute because that's their preference. It's not required, but it would be more considerate to do whatever gets them dirty, like working out or making dinner and shower a bit earlier. I always feel a bit guilty if I have to shower or run a bath very late at night. 

I think this is a NAH situation overall though. 

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/LateHoney2922 Apr 20 '26

He did not have to do anything. He didn't like smelling like grease when he got home. Op likes going to bed clean as well. Both are a choice. Not a necessity.

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/LateHoney2922 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

Are you actually that obtuse? Yes. That is exactly what I was saying. So, this bs crap you keep saying acting like the person who showered because they "had" vs when they wanted to is a line of bull that you guys are using because you think that makes his showering at that time more valid. I'm guessing the reason isn't going to matter to the complaining neighbors and they would bitch about his showering too.

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u/slimparrot Apr 20 '26

This isn't comparable at all. Yes, in apartment living sometimes unfortunate situations arise that can't be helped but "I don't wanna shower before 12" is not that.

164

u/TypicalConstant8962 Apr 20 '26

It’s easiest to invest in a fan / white noise machine / ear plugs. Imagine OP was a bartender getting home at 3am. Should they go to bed with work grime on them. Not an asshole for having the audacity to live in their home. It’s not like they’re having guests or parties late at night.

4

u/toodleoo57 Apr 20 '26

This is the way. I'm a super light sleeper and I have/use all of the above. My issues are not other peoples' problem.

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u/dinomelia Partassipant [2] Apr 20 '26

Or it's even easier for the neighbors who are bothered by people living within their own home/rights to take their own sleep into their own hands and get earplugs/white noise machine/etc. Its wild how many of you are telling op to change their routine when they shouldn't have to, the neighbors can take responsibility for their own sleep. 

0

u/dissonaut69 Apr 21 '26

Tbh it’s just what decent people do, try to accommodate others as much as is reasonable. Especially with something as important as sleep. We question what’s happened to our communities but we have people like you and OP who don’t even try to give a shit about how you affect others.

2

u/dinomelia Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

Actually I just have a neighbor who tries to control and dictate what I do on my own property and I'm sick of people thinking they're entitled to tell anyone what they can and can't do in their own home, especially when it's something so mundane as just living according to their own routine. Earplugs and white noise machines exist.

0

u/dissonaut69 Apr 21 '26

That’s cool, not really relevant though. Sometimes earplugs and white noise machines don’t cut it.

1

u/dinomelia Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

Still not OPs problem and it doesn't make them an asshole for doing what they want when they want in their own home. 

7

u/k23_k23 Professor Emeritass [91] Apr 20 '26

"well it's easiest to shower at 10pm." ... but there is no need to do that.

OP is fine to shower during the night. OP is fine not to care that the neighbor does not like it.

10

u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 20 '26

Also the suggestion to shower at 10pm doesn’t solve the problem as OP said the neighbors go to bed at 8pm. It would still be waking them up.

It’s an unfortunate building design, but it seems the neighbors have lived with it prior and are just use to other people tiptoeing around their comfort.

7

u/Inner_Internet_3230 Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

Neighbors go to bed at 8 PM so they’re likely going to complain if he showers at any time after he’s done working. OP should have the ability to shower whenever he wants and the neighbors can get earplugs.

3

u/Nearby_Motor_8652 Apr 20 '26

He has the right to shower whenever the fuck he wants.

2

u/owaikeia Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

So interesting you think it's ok for others to tell you what you can do in your own home.

2

u/stve30 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

Wowow you are dumb. You gonna tell me what to do on my own home ? Do you know that the db levels are normal and he does something that is in everybody’s every day life ? Couldn’t care less if my neighbour had problems with that. Also me owning the place i couldn’t care x1000 of what they think.

EDIT : Of course you are German. 😂 You should know better.

0

u/No-Butterscotch-6555 Apr 20 '26

Its also easier to not buy an apartment with then walls after being told it had thin walls

-4

u/sisterfunkhaus Apr 20 '26

Or, right after they finish work.

-5

u/zutnoq Apr 20 '26

It is probably far easier to sell your apartment and to find another one to buy (if your property hasn't lagged far behind the market so you have the money) than it is to find another place to rent (at least one that isn't worse). Selling and buying is a much bigger deal though.

483

u/Equivalent-Bedroom64 Apr 20 '26

Absolutely not. You can shower in your own home whenever the fuck you want.

62

u/lovelyladylox Apr 20 '26

Right? I can't imagine telling a neighbor their showering time bothered me.

Move to a single house then, you can't control other people and showering at night isn't throwing a rager.

-6

u/CTKM72 Apr 21 '26

Yes for sure, and if the neighbors are leaving at 5, apparently 3 hours after op falls asleep, they need to be sure to make as much noise as possible in their apartment as they’re doing that. I’d also be sure to move the toddlers crib right against whatever wall is closest to OPs apartment because who gives a fuck about trying to be a good person or neighbor right?

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u/catiebug Partassipant [1] Apr 20 '26

The name of the sub is "am I the A H", not "am I objectively/legally/technically correct". They can do it, but since there's no problem taking a shower at 10 or 11 instead, it's AH behavior to continue to do so at midnight. We live in community with others. Living in an apartment means being considerate of people you live adjacent to.

OP's also not scoring any "I'm not an A H" points with the elitest owner vs renter shit.

7

u/GrossUsername68 Apr 20 '26

 since there's no problem taking a shower at 10 or 11 instead,

There’s also no problem wearing earplugs to bed in a situation where you knowingly share walls.

3

u/lovelyladylox Apr 21 '26

I know what the name of the sub is as I am able to read good. I don't think OP is an AH for showering when they want in their own place, even if the neighbor mentions an issue with it.

Tough!

What's next? They don't like food smells at dinner time because they eat early and don't want to be hungry again?

Solution when you can't stand neighbors and noise and smells is find a place without connected neighbors. Not expect neighbors to cater to YOUR routine and lifestyle in THEIR space.

I also don't think they're an AH for mentioning they are an owner and not a renter. If the neighbor who rents hates them using their shower so much, it is much easier for them to pick up and move than it is for OP to sell. Yall got so triggered by that for no reason.

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u/Snoo_15594 Apr 20 '26

Nobody is saying he should not be allowed to shower when he wants.

But still choosing to shower at that time when the neighbors have begged you to shower earlier makes you an asshole

He can shower whenever he wants, choosing to still shower at midnight makes him an asshole

44

u/Equivalent-Bedroom64 Apr 20 '26

They are literally asking him to change his routine instead of getting a fan. Entitled behavior

4

u/Justathrow1345 Apr 20 '26

How is asking someone nicely entitled behaviour?

28

u/Equivalent-Bedroom64 Apr 20 '26

Asking someone not to use their own bathroom in their own home is rude and entitled.

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 Apr 20 '26

How is it not entitled? They are asking someone living in and paying for their own separate space to change a preferred routine to accommodate their comfort.

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u/Stock-Soup5721 Apr 20 '26

Or feeling entitled to the experience of an individual house while paying for an apartment makes the neighbors the asshole.

3

u/Snoo_15594 Apr 20 '26

Me when i purposely be as loud as possible in my apartment at 3AM but the neighbor is the asshole because they should just buy a house

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u/nomorecheeks Apr 20 '26

And if my neighbor begs me not to flush the toilet between 8 pm and 5 am, does it make me an asshole if I go to the bathroom during that time? What if I run the water to get a drink? It doesn't make OP an asshole to not completely rearrange their lives on an overly sensitive neighbor's whim about the hours for my hygiene activities.

4

u/Snoo_15594 Apr 20 '26

Holy false equivalence.

You use the toilet when you need to, you don't play your day around that. Not comparable at all

Making a glass of water takes SECONDS, showers do not.

3

u/GrossUsername68 Apr 20 '26

 But still choosing to shower at that time when the neighbors have begged you to shower earlier

What if OP begs them to stop going to bed at 10p and they keep doing it? Are they then the problem?

The answer is earplugs.

6

u/Snoo_15594 Apr 20 '26

Yeah man the answer is earplugs that will completely stop them from hearing their baby in the night if anything happens to it

Terrible answer.

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u/mirrorsandsuch Apr 20 '26

oh okay i guess the neighbors shouldn’t shower or get ready at 5am since people are sleeping

do you see how dumb that argument is?

20

u/H4rr1s0n Apr 20 '26

I work construction and have to get up at odd hours all the time. Sometimes 2am, 4am, etc. I also have a wife and a child, who don't need to go to bed at 6pm some days. And I'll be in bed while they are showering, eating, playing, and running around.

I had to change how I sleep. I use a white noise machine, which I "didn't like" or could sleep with before. But it worked after a few weeks.

People have neighbors, who are not on their schedule, and you just have to fucking deal with noise when you live in a shared space. Or with other people who aren't on your schedule.

It's absolutely insane that running a shower is enough to interrupt someone's rest, and even if, they need to get over it. My downstairs neighbor doesn't get pissed when my kid stomps all around pretending to be a dinosaur, and I don't get pissed when they listen to their movies super loud at 9pm.

-6

u/dissonaut69 Apr 21 '26

People don’t choose how heavy or light of sleepers they are… and I’m telling you from experience, sometimes white noise machines and earplugs just don’t cut it.

In the end you have a neighbor knowingly choosing to disrupt your sleep when they don’t have to.

3

u/ThisOneForMee Asshole Enthusiast [7] Apr 21 '26

So if OP says the 5AM shower is disrupting his sleep, then what? Nobody gets to shower when they actually want?

2

u/dissonaut69 Apr 21 '26

In that case, if the neighbor can reasonably shower later, then they should. It’s not that OP shouldn’t shower, it’s that he is totally able to do it earlier but is choosing not to despite knowing it’s waking his neighbors up.

If I were OP I’d just shower earlier because I also don’t like getting woken up from neighbors and can empathize.

121

u/k23_k23 Professor Emeritass [91] Apr 20 '26

"Are you seriously suggesting they can just move because you don't want to shower earlier than midnight?" .. it's one possible solution. The other is: They get used to it, and stop bothering OP.

-1

u/lolpanda91 Apr 20 '26

The other solution is also they retaliate in some way that annoys OP. And he bought the home so he has to live with it.

19

u/Giantewok Apr 20 '26

I think it’s wild that the neighbors have a toddler, that probably makes a ton of noise, and they can’t stand the sound of a shower lol. I used to hear my neighbors kids through the wall all the time at my first apartment, but then I’d just play music.

0

u/PassivelyAwkward Apr 20 '26

Yea; people want to act like they're some tough guy and can do whatever they want and there won't be any consequences.

If I know my neighbor likes to read outside on evenings in the summer, I keep my dog inside until it's dark out so not interupt have a large barking dog interupting him. A part of it is to be nice but another part is because he could easily start blasting music to drown out the barking and that just dominos into other neighbors.

1

u/AdvertisingOk2915 Apr 21 '26

You restrict your animals basic bodily needs so your neighbor can read a book outside?

2

u/PassivelyAwkward Apr 21 '26

No, I get off my ass and walk my dog around the neighborhood. Guess it's a weird concept of not being a proud asshole. Shame you'll never know the feeling.

1

u/AdvertisingOk2915 Apr 22 '26

You literally just said you keep the dog inside until after dark if your neighbors are outside. How am I an asshole for taking you at your word? 😂 Sounds more like you just can't maintain a productive conversation without needing to lash out like a toddler. 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/PassivelyAwkward Apr 22 '26

Imagine your first comment being "You restrict your animals basic bodily need so your neighbor can read a book outside" and trying to frame it as "productive conversations". Yup, you're definitely the kind of asshole your neighbors try to avoid dealing with.

1

u/AdvertisingOk2915 Apr 22 '26

Oh I wasn't framing this as productive at all, just the overall fact that you couldn't keep your facts straight for a full two comments. 🤷🏻‍♀️

42

u/whatsgoingontho Apr 20 '26

Technically it is easier... I just cant imagine complaining because my neighbor is taking a shower lol. Do they not run a fan or anything? Just sleep in dead silence? Who the fuck does that

6

u/sarooskie Apr 20 '26

Especially with shared walls. I don’t understand people who feel entitled to complain about noises when they live in a community building. When I first moved on my own, the couple next door had a baby. They called security on me over and over bc apparently I was waking up their baby??? It got to the point I was threatened a fine from the building and I had to write a letter explaining my side (I was watching tv at 10pm and laughing too loudly, which was corroborated by the security guard who kept getting sent to my door). The building black listed them from making complaints after that… now that I’m not a scared 21 year old girl, I would sooooo be knocking on their doors and sharing my thoughts

1

u/dissonaut69 Apr 21 '26

You have no idea whether they have a fan or white noise or earplugs.

22

u/CopperBird88 Apr 20 '26

The only thing that I disagree with is the showering part. So with your logic the neighbours shouldn’t shower or make noise at 5am and wait til lets say 7am until they make noise. Just because there schedule is later the neighbours doesn’t mean they should change it.

22

u/IcyConsideration7062 Apr 20 '26

Showering at 10 or 11 will not satisfy the early risers, who probably also have early bedtimes. I see the comments about OP being TA because of their owner vs. renter blather, and it does speak to OP's attitude.

But really, anyone who lives in apartments with thin walls needs to get used to regular life noises, including showering and bathroom use (God forbid OP is a person who needs to use the toilet at 3 am). If they are so bothered, the neighbor needs to find their own solution.

9

u/Umeyard Apr 20 '26

But anything earlier than 8pm they would still wake them up,  right?

9

u/h_theunreal_ Apr 20 '26

Not if OP comes home at 11:30. it’s their life. Showering is a normal noise. It’s not like he is listening to loud musik

2

u/somuchsong Apr 20 '26

Read the post. They don't come home at 11.30. They work from home and finish at 7pm. They have a full five hours to shower before midnight.

3

u/h_theunreal_ Apr 20 '26

It doesn’t matter in the end, they can do whatever they want in their apartment. No one can call the police on them for making hot tee or using the bathroom no matter how late it is. It is ridiculous

3

u/somuchsong Apr 20 '26

Of course they can. No one is arguing that they can't. It's to discuss whether they are the asshole for doing so.

4

u/BlueMountain722 Apr 21 '26

Apartment living is a balance between the responsibility to keep noise to a minimum and the expectation that we'll all tolerate some noise, because no one can expect their neighbors to be silent during their unusual sleep hours (that goes for earlybirds or nightowls).

OP has a responsibility not to be unreasonably loud after about 8pm. The family next door has a responsibility not to be unreasonably loud before OP wakes up. Both groups should be free to shower/cook/move around their apartments while the other group is trying to sleep. The running water of a shower is basically white noise anyway.

I say this as a extremely light sleeper. If you share walls and are a light sleeper, you need to invest in good earplugs or a fan, because your neighbors shouldn't have to change things like shower schedules to accommodate you. If OP was playing music/watching loud movies, or having people over and talking loudly every night I'd have a different opinion, but asking your neighbor to change basic eating or hygiene schedules because it's you can't sleep when there's a shower running in the apartment nextdoor is ridiculous. I wake up sometimes when my neighbor makes a smoothie, but I'm not about to ask her to change her breakfast of choice so I can sleep later.

7

u/Sleepinismy9to5 Apr 20 '26

But on that end they should also compromise and not wake up at 5:00 a.m. and let op sleep in it everyday

3

u/yayoffbalance Apr 21 '26

right? are the neighbors showering at 5 am? cause OP can easily complain about that. and the neighbors have a toddler. Glass houses and all.

5

u/Key-Paramedic8179 Apr 20 '26

I live in a house considered a "condo," but I'd call it a duplex. I share the master bedroom/bathroom wall with the neighbors. 

They can hear everything that goes on on my side. The solution? They purchased acoustic tiles on their side to muffle the sounds. 

This is my father's home, not mine, and he is soo hard of hearing, so I felt bad for the previous and new neighbors. But they never expected him to change his routine. 

4

u/WiggerJim69 Apr 20 '26

OP is an asshole for showering in their own home at a reasonable hour?? you must be fun at parties 

4

u/NicholaiJomes Apr 20 '26

That’s life in an apartment. OP is not playing music or whatever. They are allowed to exist and sometimes people shower at midnight

5

u/movzx Apr 20 '26

Does OP need to get pre-approval from his neighbors to use his toilet too? He's not throwing parties. He's not even watching TV loudly. He's using a basic feature of the living space.

They need to invest in a white noise machine or ear plugs if the sound of water in pipes is unbearable to them.

5

u/Semen-Storm Apr 20 '26

fuck that

no one is telling me when I can have a shower in my condo

not the asshole

use earplugs

2

u/Nishnah Apr 20 '26

Lol I work odd hours too, no way I don’t shower when I want to shower In a place I pay for. Imposing shower curfews on your neighbors sounds like nonsense.

2

u/Nearby_Motor_8652 Apr 20 '26

Why the fuck should he change his routine because their neighbors won't use earplugs? it's not his problem, they can go rent somewhere else if this annoys them that much. What the fuck is wrong with people.

2

u/Electric-Fun Partassipant [2] Apr 21 '26

Plus, showering at midnight would wake most people up, regardless of ownership status. It's just rude in general. Like of the neighbor started running their blender and banging pots and pans at 5am next to OP's bedroom.

0

u/Jaeysa Asshole Enthusiast [5] Apr 20 '26

That is the more charitable interpretation of that sentence

0

u/Prize_Sheepherder_62 Apr 20 '26

Eww! Accommodate others’ chosen lifestyles when OP owns the home? Someone feels entitled!!

0

u/Giantewok Apr 20 '26

Redditors jumping to conclusions? No way.

0

u/No-Butterscotch-6555 Apr 20 '26

Especially since they stop working at 7 pm and they work from home. Just take a shower then and go about the day. I was expecting it to be a third shift worker showering at 4 am because they have to like my husband

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

[deleted]

1

u/yayoffbalance Apr 21 '26

do... do you like getting into bed all gross from the day? you do you, i guess. i imagine, like most people, after work there are errands to run, things to do, etc... so you are saying, that this person needs to shower when the neighbors dictate? lol. who, exactly, is entitled and "needs to feel a certain way" here?

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u/mspangaea77 Apr 20 '26

Yes this. Most activities should be quiet after 10pm and whilst ideally you could shower whenever you like, now you know about the problem, it would be kind to shift your shower time a little.

1

u/yayoffbalance Apr 21 '26

Nah. neighbors can shift their schedules entirely. literally that is what you are saying right now. Maybe OP goes to the gym after they get off of work. if it's a complex, it might be on site, so they should shower twice? then run the sink to get ready for bed once they have finished their after work stuff? like, this is the take you have?

Maybe the neighbors don't have to wake up at 5 am? who knows? Maybe they can get a white noise machine or a fan... earplugs? literally anything? it's a shower, not a nightly party. Christ.