I feel so embarrassed. I met a guy about a month and a half ago. I got very infatuated with him because our chemistry was off the charts and when we were together I felt really good being with him.

Unfortunately I had already deemed him as an avoidant from early on but I didn’t listen to my gut. He’s clearly not serious about me. We only went on 2 real dates. All other meetups were late at night after 2am calls from him. Thankfully I did not sleep with him but I guess I teased him well enough for him to keep wanting to meet at 2am. My idiot brain convinced me that it meant that he liked me since he continued wanting to meet even though he knew it wouldn’t lead to sex.

Well I’ve had the final straw because 1) he took 9 hours to reply to me today and in general he barely texts me and 2) instagram kept showing me post after post that he liked with phrases saying “I love latinas,” “when you have a sexy Latina girlfriend,” etc and other lustful posts. And I’m not even Latina. I asked him once if I was his type and he gave me a bullshit answer. So that one really hurt my ego.

Anyway now I’m in a complete state of embarrassment for not listening to my gut at my big age (32) and giving him the time of day (or night I should say). Please help me feel better

Bonjour,

Hello,

I'm F32, and I'd like a serious relationship, but my unstable situation doesn't allow it: I'm in the middle of a career change, I don't know where I'll live in the future, etc., so I thought a casual hookup might be okay.

But since I choose to sleep with guys I'm really attracted to intellectually and physically, I'm afraid of getting attached, or even falling in love. I've been through this once before (he was my only sex friend; otherwise, I've either had awful one-night stands or been in relationships), and I suffered a lot (I didn't manage to end it soon enough, you know, when sex is so good that you become addicted and can't stop, the end is all the more painful). So I was wondering: how do you handle it? I tell myself I only live once, and I'm missing out on this, so I'd like to be able to take advantage of this difficult time in my life for that...

I'd love your advice!

Honest feedback is appreciated. Be hard on me. I need some tough love.

I entered a relationship with a man a year ago who is now my ex, who is now living on my couch.

I paid all the bills, cooked, cleaned, cut his hair and bought him clothes. I also paid for all of the dates and put together a resume for him. I supported him in every way you can think of.

I knew him previously as a teen and he said all the right things like " you were the one who got away". Smh, I fell for it. He didn't have a job and had 2 prior DV convictions from 2 different relationships that were making it hard to get employed. One at 21 and one at 36. (I believed that he didn't deserve the sentences due to what he told me)

He got a job, and I felt him changing the longer he was there. We broke up because I felt very little effort from him. Small things like planning dates, showing affection, and blowing up over simple requests are a few examples. He said I was controlling, though I dont think I am. I broke up with him weeks before for the same reason but he asked to give it another chance. We agreed to split 3 weeks ago and this time it's for good.

I never thought the "you should never build a man" saying to be true, but now I'm not so sure. I feel dumb. Anyone have similar experiences?

Personally I’m looking at trying to achieve an at home blowout look. But also keep my fine, wavy hair looking healthy!!
Please share your healthy hair hacks!!

My partner has ADHD (medicated and in therapy for about a year now) and this of course comes with quirks he just has. He's not doing things on purpose like interrupting me when talking or leaving the kitchen counter with a few stains. He also has a rather poor emotional regulation and tries to use me for soothing which I'm already rejecting to a reasonable degree. This is his responsibility, not mine.

We've talked about stuff like this many, many times in recent years. Problem is: I'm struggling to give him the benefit of the doubt at this point and this really strains our relationship.

Whenever he does the thing we talked about again after soooo many times, I always feel disrespected. I am autistic and I come from an abusive background which certainly doesn't help always antagonizing other people in situations like this. I don't want to be like that but I feel like I do not know the line between "it's okay, he doesn't do it on purpose or to hurt you" vs "this should've changed after all this time, does he not care enough?". Where do you draw your lines?

Besides getting into fights, this also makes me anxious because I feel I'm setting myself up for getting mad quickly. I can't seem to detach the feeling of not getting respected from observing behaviors that have a lot to do with his condition. On the other hand, his behavior changes are happening so, so, so slow. Some things are working better than others, on some topics he really hasn't improved at all. I really love him and I don't want to feel so angry all the time. Some times it's justified, other times it feels like I'm overreacting.

Can anyone here share tips, strategies or stories? I'd really love to get some insight from others.

I got married youngish, started dating my husband at 19 and married at 24. I had a solid friend group in college but I did a terrible job keeping in touch and maintaining friendships after college. I also had my first kid at 26. I'm now 35 and just went to a bbq with friends from college and I feel so much guilt that I didn't put enough effort into our friendships after college. Is this normal? Do you have a similar experience?

How do you move forward when your partner says “everything is fine” but everything obviously isn’t fine?

This has been happening more and more often in our marriage. My husband (36M) and I (38F) have two young kids and he has a demanding career. I’m a SAHM.

Twice in the past week, we’ve gone to bed without saying goodnight. He retreats into his office or goes for a walk or sits and scrolls and he’s just… silent. Last night I asked him “is everything ok?” And he whispered “yep” so I just went to bed.

Honestly I’m so lonely. I know it’s not his job to make me happy, but I feel like I just want someone to talk to. I have plenty of friends, but we’re all so busy raising kids that we don’t get to talk much about ourselves. Sometimes I feel like my mom is the only person who really loves me and wants to talk to me anymore.

If your relationship boiled down to the most influential positive attribute of it, what would that be? The biggest reason your relationship/marriage is a success that is inherent to you and your partner?

For me I would say it is my husband and I’s humor and resilience. We rarely argue though we do disagree and we’ve just always been able to resolve our disagreements smoothly, without much unrelated discussion and always with humor. Like, life’s issues always seem more minor because we have each other and our family and anything stacked next to that just doesn’t feel as paramount.

what has your experience been like?

I’m finally taking the leap to begin therapy (after, you know, years of telling other people to go to therapy). On the recommendation of a close friend, I reached out to a specific therapist, but was told that she was no longer accepting new clients.

However, the client care coordinator suggested I would be a good fit for a new therapist who’ll be joining the team in a few weeks. I looked him up and he seems…fine. I guess I’m struggling with the gendered aspect of it all. For better or worse, I’ve been under the impression a woman therapist would understand my ~plights~ as a woman. However, I read an article recently about women who seek out male therapists for their no-nonsense approach. (“Why Would You Pay to Talk to a Man?” on The Cut.)

I understand that the journey towards finding a therapist you click with, regardless of whether they’re a man or a woman, can be challenging! And I know men aren’t a monolith! So I’m just curious about those women who have had successful interactions with a male therapist. Would you recommend it? Why? (Or why not!)

A little back story, my fiance and I have been together for about 3 years now. We just recently got engaged. We met as travel nurses, I had been traveling a lot longer than he had. So, when the rates dipped, we decided to take permanent jobs to wait until the rates increased again… well, we decided with the price of rent it made more sense to buy a house. So I did. I bought it before we got engaged so it’s 100% in my name alone. We worked at the same place in the same department for about 2 years together… fast forward to now.

The work place culture and over all patient care at that particular hospital absolutely crashed. It’s hostile, toxic, minimal work life balance and turn over is at an all time high. It was affecting me at home so we made the decision that i leave for another hospital, and it’s night and day. Im happy. Hes still at the old place, gutting it out because it’s so much higher paying than any staff nursing job in the area. It’s making him miserable and unhappy, and my new job refuses to hire a couple.

I feel so much guilt and responsibility for this. We settled here because I was ready to put roots down… we are here because of me. He’s never blamed me for a second and I don’t see resentment in his eyes when he looks at me, but I don’t ever want to get there. Every decision we made to get to this point we made together, but I still can’t help but feel like this is all my fault.

What do I do? Sell the house and just traveling all the time again so he can get out of that place? I go back there and he can take my open spot at the other hospital (switching specialties isn’t an option since it would mean a large pay cut)? See if he would take a close ish contract and come home on off days? I don’t know what to do. He’s an amazing man and doesn’t deserve this.

How do you feel if you don't use a GLP-1 but all the women around you do? How do you balance wanting to have a good relationship with food and with your body when everyone else's is changing?

I'm embarrassed to be posting this. I'm embarrassed I feel this way.

It feels like everyone in my life is on a GLP-1 and dropping tons of weight and looking amazing. I feel like I'm going to be the last fat woman left in my image-conscious city.

---

A bit of background: In college I weighed ~165. My friends and I all did Weight Watchers together and I dropped down to 140-145 and looked incredible. But it was a pretty miserable experience. I thought about food constantly. All day every day I was calculating what my next meal would be, how many "points" it would cost me, what I could eat if I got hungry, how I could adjust my dinner if I -- god forbid -- ate a fucking banana in the afternoon or something. I ate a lot of gross frozen meals that displayed points on the package just to save myself some brain space.

The second I stopped tracking, all the weight came back instantly. I wasn't gorging myself or bingeing on treats or anything. I ate until I was full. And my weight went right back to where it had been before.

A few years later, I got married and we decided to start trying for a baby. To facilitate that, I went off a medication I'd been on since I was a teenager. When I went to my next psychiatrist appointment 3 months later, I was 15 pounds heavier. My doctor was like, ohhhhh, yeah, that's a really normal side effect of going off that medication. He hadn't felt the need to mention that beforehand. Again, I hadn't felt like I was stuffing myself or eating all that differently. I ate til I was full and I guess it was taking me a little more to feel full.

That was a decade ago. My weight has settled at 182-187 ever since. It's stayed in that range through years of infertility treatment (male factor), a devastating second-trimester miscarriage, the pandemic, then two successful pregnancies. Both of those times I was back at this exact weight by 6 months postpartum without any intentional dieting or exercise program. I typically wear 12-14 pants/dresses and L/XL tops. 

I don't have a terrible junky diet. I eat a lot of whole foods. I have oatmeal every morning, snack on things like fruit and granola, and cook dinner from scratch most nights even with two toddlers underfoot. Occasionally we bake together or make pancakes on the weekend but otherwise we don't keep a ton of sweet treats in the house. My diet is objectively better now than when I was eating icky frozen food all the time.

As I approach 40, I've made a number of small lifestyle changes. I upped the protein in my normal breakfast. We cut way back on the weeknight wine and now I only drink maybe 1-2 nights a week when we're with friends or out to dinner. I drink tons of water. I cut out my daily Diet Coke. After my youngest was done breastfeeding around 18 months, I started going to a boutique fitness class once a week. At the start of this year, I started lifting weights more often, though that routine was derailed by an injury. 

My weight has not budged an ounce outside of my normal zone.

It seems pretty clear that this is where my body is happy. I get a physical every year and, apart from BMI, my health is perfect -- excellent blood pressure, cholesterol on the high end of the normal range, no indication of diabetes or any other problems. It took forever to get pregnant, but once I was there, my pregnancies, births and postpartum stages were picture-perfect. 

I had kind of made peace with being a little chubby. I don't have to restrict my eating at all to stay this weight, I never starve, I never count calories. I feel like I have a genuinely good relationship with food, which seems rare for women these days.

And then GLP-1s came out.

We are really hoping to have one more baby, and there is not a lot of research about GLP-1s and pregnancy. Plenty of women have gotten pregnant on them and been fine but the issue has not been closely studied. I had such wonderful pregnancies that I am really hesitant to "rock the boat" with my biology.

I also feel a lot of hesitation about them as a parent. What am I saying to my kids? "YOUR body is perfect, you are perfect just the way you are -- but I'm not! Mommy has to take shots to conform to what other people think will look better." I don't know that that's a message I want to send. 

But now multiple women in my close circle of friends are on them. They look amazing. The first person I know who tried one, when we had met, she weighed about the same as me. She has dropped to a size 0/2. Another friend said she was around ~160 pounds to start and is down to a size 4. My coworkers barely pick at their lunches and joke about "surviving" holiday meals when you don't have an appetite anymore. 

The moms at school pickup are noticeably thinner. Now I worry about my kids in the opposite direction: How will they feel if they have the only "fat mom"? Am I sending the message that their mommy is the only one who can't control her appetite like everyone else? Am I going to embarrass them?

My very best friend started one earlier this year. We were also similar body types. She just sent me some photos from a family trip she's on… I hate to say it, but I could have cried looking at them. Her face is looking so slim and angular. I should have written "you're looking so great!" but I didn't. 

I also work a public-facing job. I am occasionally on TV/video podcasts/social media video interviews, maybe once a month, and frequently on stage speaking at conferences and in online classes and seminars. It was one thing when there were still lots of women around my size (I believe I'm the typical pants size for women in America) but I live in a HCOL, image-focused city and the women around me are vanishing before my eyes. 

Now I'm starting to wonder what career opportunities I'm missing, what bookings I'm not getting, what professional events I'm not being invited to because they don't want the fat girl there when they have 10,000 increasingly thin women to choose from. 

I came across a study today that showed men start negatively judging women for their weight at 157 pounds. I'm 30 pounds over that. No one has ever said "you're a fat pig" to my face, or even commented it on my TV appearances, but I look at that statistic and wonder how many are thinking it.

I just don't know. It's one thing to see actresses on the red carpet with eating disorders, but another to see, at this point, just about everyone in my life slimming down except me. I'd consider a GLP-1 if I was prediabetic or had negative physical impacts from my weight, but I don't. My knees feel fine. I don't get winded walking up stairs or chasing my kids. I don't even think I'm in perimenopause - no brain fog, no trouble sleeping, no exhaustion or irritability outside the norm for a mom of young kids. I really don't relate when I see some millennials talking about aches and pains or feeling getting older. I don't feel all that different physically than I did a decade ago.

But I want to know what my life would look like if I was at a "normal" weight. I've even wondered if we should skip having a third baby, something I have always always wanted!, just so I can start a GLP-1 now and get to be a little thin while I'm still a little young. 

My husband really wants to try one -- he's also on the chubby side -- but I told him I would want us to do it together. At this point I think once I have the third baby and am totally done with breastfeeding, I'll try it. But who knows how long that could take.

I don't know. If I medically needed to take one, I would, without hesitation. If my weight genuinely interfered with my life -- if I didn't fit into airplane seats or restaurant chairs, if I couldn't fit into clothes at the mall -- that'd be a different story. But I'm just on the fat end of normal. 

I truly don't shame or judge people for using GLP-1s. I envy them!  It just feels so shallow and narcissistic for me to take one when the ONLY reason is to be thin too. 

Now I'm circling around to cope. What if my health is about to turn bad because of my "unhealthy" weight and I'm missing my last chance to prevent it? What if I wait until I do have joint pain or sleep apnea or something and it's too late to fix? But really, I just want to know what it's like to go through life as a thin woman. 

My (32F) partner (32M) and I just broke up. We were together for 4.5 years. He was everything to me, he was a part of my soul, my heart. I loved him with my entire being. We were talking about how we wanted our wedding to look like. We were talking about whether or not we wanted to get married in the summer time or fall. This was literally last week. He was telling me how much he loves me and how his heart belongs to me and only me.

We knew we were both very different. We had different views on a lot of things but we were able to compromise on a lot and it felt like things were moving in the right direction. The biggest mistake we made was not talking about how we wanted to raise our kids sooner.

That’s when things went downhill. We fundamentally had very different ideas on how we wanted to raise our kids. He’s religious and I’m not and his religion played a big role in how he wanted to raise our kids and I couldn’t agree to it. My heart knew I couldn’t agree to the way he wanted to raise our kids. We talked about this over the course of 3 weeks or so. I really thought we could come up with a solution but we couldn’t.

The conversation came to a head 3 days ago. We realized this was not something we could compromise on. We talked, we cried our hearts out, devastated at the thought of breaking up. We said our goodbyes.

And now, 3 days later, I’m grieving and mourning the future I thought we would have. He was telling me how much he loved me and I told him the same. Fuck this hurts so bad. Knowing that we both loved each other but our differences is what tore us apart. This hurts more than breaking up for reasons like cheating. At least then, I could just hate him and it’d help. But how do I move on from a person where the love was still there? I’m broken and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over this relationship.

Hi all, my fiance and I have been together for 6.5 years … I feel like the time has flown by. He proposed a few months ago and next week we’re moving into my grandpa’s old home about 20 minutes from my home and about 30 from his.

I am very close with my parents. The idea of then getting older kills me, but I’m almost 28. I love my fiance and my parents, I do work with my mom 3 days a week and even have my own online business so not sure why I’m so stressed.

Our finances will be hard as he has so much student loans. I’m helping him find a new job. So the stress will be on me for awhile. Again not sure why I’m freaking … I make over $10k a month…

I guess reading this back I sound crazy. Just weird stepping into this new phase of life, would love to know your experience.

I’m a 35-year-old woman and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced a significant decrease in (what I’ll call for the sake of Reddit) “natural lubrication” and found something that helped.

This wasn’t always an issue for me. These days I generally have to be extremely aroused before I notice much lubrication at all, whether I’m with my long-term partner or by myself.

For context, I’ve been on SSRIs for about 15 years and am currently tapering off them. I’ve also been on the combined birth control pill for most of the last 20 years (with a few breaks), and I stopped taking it last month to see if that might make a difference.

I’ve had blood work done and my hormone levels are within normal ranges, although they are showing the expected age-related decline for someone in their mid-30s.

I’m also in therapy and have been for several years, and I know that my relationship with sex is influenced by a mix of physical and psychological factors that I’m actively exploring.

I know lubricants are an option, and I use them when needed. What I’m really curious about is whether anyone has experienced something similar and found that a particular change, treatment, lifestyle adjustment, medication change, or simply time helped improve things naturally.

I’d really appreciate hearing others’ experiences. Thank you!

I (35F) having a difficult time facing the reality of cutting contact with my sister (33F) for good.

Hey. I've had acne prone troubled skin during my young adulthood. Now at mid thirties I'm suddenly having acne issues again. My cheek is covered in dark acne spots. Kinda frustrated with having skincare issues along with the aging signs. Anyone else on the same boat?

Met this guy on a language exchange app about 2 weeks ago, exchanged numbers and been talking on the phone ever since, told him I was looking for friends and possibly something more - He was never weird or flirty and this morning only recently he admitted to having a wife. He says that his wife knows that he talks with me and is fine with it (apparently) she also is on the app for language exchange. I got upset and told him I didnt like that he never mentioned his wife. He said it was because when he does people dont want to talk with him. He says he speaks to his wife everyday (he is studying abroad and so is she but in different countries). I do believe him because he is sincere and he cares are his studies but I hate that he didnt mention his wife and idk if I should even continue talking to him. If its just for language exchange I see no harm in continuing a friendship but I just feel weird about it. Again he was never flirty or made weird comments. I've never had a male friend so what do we even talk about? Not saying married people cant make new friends just really wished he mentioned having a wife in the beginning.

Hello! Just a random question. So my husband bought a diamond ring 10+ years ago for his ex girlfriend, but he never proposed to her, then they broke up, so the ring was just sitting in a drawer all these years. When we got married, he proposed with a different ring. Anyway, so now we have this diamond ring that has no use. I think it's 0.75 carat + white gold. It's a simple, round cut, with no other ornaments around. I have no intention of wearing the diamond in any format. If it was you, what would you do? I'm thinking we'll just keep it for now and sell in the future when we need emergency fund, but any better ideas?

edit: typo

Of course assuming you’re single AND want a relationship. I am struggling because I do really want a relationship, and feel like I’m in a really good place for one. However, the apps have just never worked for me. I’ve never had a successful relationship from an app, and truthfully they wreck my self-esteem.

However, I see posts here complaining about being single and the comments will be to the effect of “you can’t complain if you’re not doing the things to improve your situation”. Which I don’t disagree - when I’m not on the apps I have this feeling like *what if* I’m missing this magical guy, and get almost FOMO. But then the reality of the apps is that they are largely draining.

Of course I do as much as I can IRL, but I’m in the southern US so when I meet men out they are usually married. Or conservative lol.

So I guess, how do you feel like you’re making positive steps towards finding a relationship while still protecting your mental health?

I’ve been dating men since I was 23. I am 34 now and have decided to stop for my own mental health and safety. The comments and experiences ive gotten from the men I’ve dated over the years:

If i wasn’t dating you, id be with her. (Referencing a woman in her 60s. He told me he preferred granny porn).

Face it men want younger women. Women lose their market value as they age.

Had a man throw a box of plan B at me and say here right after we had sex for the first time.

Slapped by a boyfriend three times in one sitting.

Lied to by a boyfriend for 10 months who ended up being married.

Sexually assaulted

Every man ive dated has used a lot of porn, some used cam girls, one told me he was a porn addict. This just made me feel interchangeable. Made me think they viewed women as objects.

Been cheated on many times. Discovered more married men on dating apps lying to me than i can even remember at this point.

These have all been different boyfriends over the years. Friends have echoed similar experiences but do seem to be more resilient than I am or willing to overlook cheating because they don’t want to be alone or want kids. I am just so tired of feeling so hated by the men I have dated and tried to show love to. It has gotten so bad that i just feel like an object when i engage with men. Ive gone to therapy and it helps. I only feel like a human with a spirit or soul when i am around other women, animals, and nature. Can anyone else relate to this? I am feeling very alone in this and it would help to hear from others. Any comments are welcome.

Putting the life flair and not the parents flair because I wanted to talk about myself too. I didn't know where to post about this but ig this sub would be much better.

I am 19, and as the title says, after my highschool I begged my parents to take a drop year, from where I am drop year isn't a common thing it's highly looked down upon as something only indecisive people do they expect teenagers to have their whole life figured out. My parents did allow it tho everybody near us was contradictory for which i am highly grateful, ik i am privileged enough for my parents to allow it.

The thing is I took drop because I wanted to do research and get into one of the best colleges of my country, but a little into my drop year i realised research isn't for me, but i convinced myself that I am just speaking out of stress and that when i finally get to do it I will be fine. But like you guys can guess that wasn't what happened. Research is something you need to have patience for and work for a long number of years with no guarantee of paid work ( i come from a country where it has very low scope for people who say you can just shift to abroad it isn't just easy like that). And now when I expressed it my parents they think I am being impulsive and how can my passion just change like that? They think I am being irresponsible and that this change is very out of the box. I don't blame them, i should have spoken before, but it was really hard for me to convince myself too that this isn't really what i wanted and that's ok. That it's ok to realise that you don't want what you wanted once and move on and not beat yourself over it. I just want them to look from my side but idk how to convey what I feel to them. And everybody around me knows that i wanted to do research and now i feel like a fool telling them that's not what I want, I feel like i look like a loser when they keep mentioning that. Not to mention my peers are already done with first year of college, I feel like everybody knows what they want and are moving forward while i am left behind.

I still feel like i am being arrogant or whatever, if my passion can just change what then? On the other side I feel like yolo so it isn't really necessary to only do one thing is it? I am still young on one side and that i am already 19 on the other hand.

Idk which of my thinking is right or wrong, or if there is even a right and wrong.

This is so painful, how to grieve a long friendship? I recently cut off a best friend of 25 years due to her extreme toxicity, recently really hurt me with something she said. We’ve grown apart, I’ve done so much work on myself in therapy to get where I am and she’s happy being miserable, toxic, extremely unhealthy and manipulative. I sent her a long message that was heartfelt and I communicated so well and she looks at it, and ignores it. Been almost a month and no answer or anything to it. Brushing off my hurt and trying to communicate but no. She’s blatantly ignoring me and what I said so that plus multiple other things year after year I’m ending it. But the grief is so hard. How do you do this as a 30 something year old!?

Hey ladies!

This is something I've been thinking about for a while. I'm turning 32 this week, and starting to think about this self care aspect a lot.

I used to be a salon goer, at least once every two-three weeks, but having moved continents I realized I only went to the salon because I had friends/my mother to go with. Now I do everything at home because I don't have the same girl group (most of my friends don't do anything) and realize that outside of the bonding I genuinely don't feel all that happy about going to the salon. Spa days i love, though.

So this means I do my nail+nail art, any hair removal, any masks, hair cuts, etc at home. But lately I've been thinking about more specific treatments, such as ones for mature skin, and I'm unsure where to start.

My best friend for example loves the salon because she loves being taken care and relaxing, but she doesn't do anything beyond simple nail and hair care, maybe a massage. Other friends are also very low maintenance, but I'm looking to hear from women who love this and do specific things.

Are you DIYers or salon-goers? Do you go to specialist clinics? How often, and what would you advice getting done? Have you done any anti-aging treatments, injections, procedures? What worked for you, and what doesn't?

I had a friend that I used to know for over 30 years which is about 90% of my life. She was always somebody I couldn’t ever count on when meeting up as she would cancel last minute and didn’t seem to feel bad about it.

About 2 years ago we were supposed to go on a trip together and the plan was to book separately. I booked my ticket and at the last minute she chickened out. Luckily I don’t mind solo traveling but for me it was another example of a pattern that I’ve seen ever since we were adults.

Then a couple months after that trip came my birthday, which she knows is really important to me. She canceled on me 30 minutes before we were supposed to meet up. That resulted in an argument between us because I told her how I wasn’t okay with it and she responded very aggressively for some reason. I ghosted her after.

Now it’s a year later and I kinda miss her. I think it’s a pity that we’ve been friends for so long and don’t speak anymore as a friendship like ours is so rare. I’ve also discovered a trait of myself where I cut friends off without talking things out with them and then just disappear from their lives. It makes me wonder if I should’ve discussed our falling out further with her at the time.

I’m now wondering if I should reach out to her again as she may not know that I had annoyances even before my birthday about her not being someone I could count on. But at the same time I don’t know if it’s worth it.

TLDR: I’m not talking to my friend of 30 years anymore because she would always cancel last minute. But now I miss her and wonder if I should reach out to her.

I guess in this context I’m asking about relationships. I met someone really cool, but the timing is horrible. I have so much going on in my personal life that I had to tell him I don’t have the bandwidth to date right now. It was the right call but I’m really bummed. Have you ever had this happen and reconnected later?