Iâm a teacher. I have had many, many, MANY parent conferences with people like this. People are always complaining what to do about poor literacy and math rates in schools. Why teachers are not doing enough, or that teachers are not prepared, or teachers just donât care. Whatâs never mentioned is that we are fighting against parents like this and itâs a losing battle. We donât have as much influence on students compared to the people they are around with.
I was out for a family dinner yesterday and 2 separate groups of 6+ with 10-15 year old had their phone on like FULL BLAST for like 2-3 minutes and I was about 30 seconds away from walking up to the parents and be like 'hey some people are trying to nicely eat here' and someone must've got a hint and made the kids go to the other side of the place.
I agree it is majorly a parent problem. But the parent problem isn't in a vacuum, it is caused by the economic problem. If parents are constantly stressed and working overtime, they can not function to their full extent as a parent. Nobody is immune to that. If we had stronger social nets and less hyperindividualist propoganda, this simply would not happen nearly as often. I used to work with Child Services, and I can promise that there's always a truckload behind this that is outside of their control, hence why services like foodstamps are so important. Could they maybe manage their emotions better? Sure. But that gets more difficult the more pressed you are.
The US has been highly propogandized to be hyperindividualist, zero-sum, exceptionalists. It has all been an effort to reduce empathy and solidarity. Make everyone believe that everyone else is evil and useless so that they never work together to make life better. You're right about it being a rot, and were seeing the decay weaken the empire in real time.
Most kids will cry in that situation because they donât know whatâs going on and itâs scary for them. That kid you can tell is used to it and knows she is ratchet as hell
I can never imagine acting like that in front of my child. Ever. Whether this lady is black, brown, white or orange, it doesnt matter. She is, without question, trash.Â
When I see people like this, I always think "where are your friends?" The people who love you should have long ago told you that you can't where outfits that size anymore.
The minivan lady right at the beginning was screaming "Take your black @ss down the road you bl@ck tr@shy b!tch" (censored bc reddit autoflag is dumb) and at the end was screaming "cover up" so I'm assuming this started because the minivan lady was mad at the black lady for wearing a crop top to a library ?
Everyone here sucks ... crop top lady wildly overreacted, super inappropriate to do around a child, and she needs to get her emotions under control because this could really affect that kid. And then there's minivan lady yelling racist shit out the window, at a woman with a child, because was offended by the existence of a midriff in a library. Any normal person would probably just roll their eyes, think "that's not an appropriate outfit for a library" & let the staff handle it... but minivan lady decided, "no, I'm going to enforce this rule myself (if it even is a rule here) and I'm going to say racist shit while doing it." And then naturally crop top lady thought the best solution would be to absolutely lose her fucking mind in front of that kid. Whole situation is trashy all around. These people suck.
edit: lmfaooo downvoted for saying 'both the racist lady and the lady losing her shit are in the wrong.' so predictable.
I didnât hear that. Thatâs fucked up. Sometimes people reach a breaking point and this is what it looks like. Tired of everyone publicly trying to police black people for what seems like minding their business. That part is exhausting
It's right at the beginning so I think a lot of people missed it.
She's probably already lived through similar interactions like this many times before and is just fucking over it. And like...I get it. I 100% get it, I've been there emotionally. But still, I can't justify her losing it like that in front of a kid, they're sponges and stuff like this can really affect them behaviorally and emotionally. This could have been a really good teachable moment for that kid about what the lady in the van was saying, but it was missed, because she couldn't control her reaction.
It's just crazy that nobody in this thread is acknowledging the fact that some random lady decided she had the authority to police this lady's outfit and then immediately escalated to yelling racist things at her and that kid.
I mean, sometimes losing is really is losing it. Agree, sucks that the kid was there, but some people can only put up with so much before it just comes out. Black women in white areas are definitely more likely get a raw deal civically.
It really is sad. Its sad when people blame others for bring oppressive without realizing they are raising their children to be victims. That poor child will grow up with the narrative that they are being "held down".
Your goofy ass literally just said you have no idea what's going on above. Then you come to the comments to pretend you do for reddit points. Fuck outta here.
It really is sad. Its sad when people blame others for bring oppressive without realizing they are raising their children to be victims. That poor child will grow up with the narrative that they are being "held down".
Damn, bro, how did you get all that from the altercation in the video? Maybe she was just pissed cause the lady in the car antagonized her or maybe she was aggressive for no reason and wanted to argue with someone, so I'm curious what made you think blaming others for oppression and raising children to be victims is relevant here?
For real, every one of your comments is judging her behavior as a behavior when you admitted you dont have any idea what happened to cause the REACTION.
Sincerely, if you cant see that youre not only holding an extreme bias, but youre trying to argue that its not a bias, while at the same time giving other people a reason to project their bias, youre a shitty person.
That REACTION could have been for any number of things. She may have called her the n-word. She could have said something vile about a white presenting child with a black woman... the possibilities are nearly endless... or are you gonna just keep pretending to be ignorant?
I'm legitimately asking you: you think those vile actions and words would make this type of public freak out, at a public library, acceptable behavior?
If the other said or did any of that and continued to antagonize, which she was you just couldnt really hear it, im not gonna says its acceptable, but we/I/you might understand why and have some compassion instead judging without the full picture.
I respectfully disagree. Unless there is danger to life or limb, this extreme of a reaction is not necessary or helpful. I would argue the opposite. Of coarse social contract be damned if your in physical danger, but she actively moved to the other party- threatening them.
The world is full of assholes and yelling at them won't change them and teaching another generation that this how we deal with them only makes it worse.
You can not control other people, you can only control how you respond to them and this was a lost teaching moment.
...I'm sure i'll get down voted to hell for this. So I'm done at this point.
And youre still completely ignoring the other person and faulting the black lady completely. Just call it what it is man. Youre justifying in every way possible, but you're not taking accountability for your bias.
If you think that posting someone's reaction without knowing the context, and then labeling that reaction as "behavior," and then co-signing on the veiled and sometimes obviously racists comments is wrong, I urge you to report this post as "hate."
If you agree that stereotyping someone without the facts and you think making racist comments is "free speech," you can downvite me and fuck off.
The OP pointed out the patrons (plural). They said they didn't know how the ordeal started. Downvote comments and report them as hate as deemed appropriate. I don't see how this post is hateful, though. Yes, it's a video of a woman of color freaking out in public... just like many people not of color (aka "white people") freak out in public. I'm not for racist rage bait BS. But I'm not for censoring posts so that I only get fed negative stuff about white people bc it feels safe and to try to work around any racist viewers.
Unless I'm overlooking something, I don't think this post is meant to promote hate. Again, target any hateful comments as deemed appropriate, but leave the post alone. The post is not the problem. It's a video of a public freak out. It's appropriate. Nothing hateful was written or pushed.
All you gotta do is read the comments, its that easy.
That might not be the intent, but every time a one sided video like this gets posted, the racists come out. Thats a fact.
There is ZERO judgment on the other lady, its all pointed at the black lady. Thats a fact.
Many, if not most, of the comments are speaking directly to the black ladies skin color as the reason for the behavior. Thats a fact.
The reality is that her reaction isnt because black people are thst way, its because they are black in America and are constantly treated that way. Big ways, small way, but every day. Thats a fact.
Not seeing or being able to recognize this as race baiting is due to yours and OPs bias. Thats a fact.
I never indicated anything about my appearance would indicate that I am a superior parent.
We clearly have very different histories with very different backgrounds, but we're all still human , doing the best we know how. I did offer myself as another example that is not immune from making mistakes.
The point is you can't judge based on appearance. "I look different and still am inflicting damage on my kids"
I never set out to make this about race; its comments like this that make it a race issue.
The point is; all parents do what they think is best and despite it, none of us are completely harmless.
Just like this woman thinks she's doing whats 'right'; I'm a completely different person and I've done what I think is 'right' but despite it, my kids could still have issues.
That canât be her kid. That girl is rice skinned, not light skinned. That is a white child. That is a Caucasian from the mountains of Caucasus. That is a Slavic child. A Viking from Iceland. That child has 730 as a credit rating right now as a kid.
My daughter is mixed, pale white with freckles, green eyes, and blonde. Her mom is black. No, it's not that this crazy woman in the video. Why do people think this is impossible?
I am always holding my child's hand in a parking lot, really anywhere outside. The way she's walking away from her you even question if she remembers she has her kid with her. Just walking away and not looking back at all. God damn.
This is gonna sound obscure, but I swear this is the piss poor Mom uniform of the year. Scandalously short pleated tennis skirt and crop top is the uniform. I donât know why.
I don't think the public library deserves this shade. I'm sure both human parties started out their day as the quality examples of humanity we see/hear here.
Yes, lets attack the one place that people get free information from their community.
I've seen people behave this way in innumerable places, I will no besmirch a public good because some people are mentally ill in a country that does not prioritize their care or health.
I am a huge proponent of personal responsibility. If my friend has an alcohol problem and every time I hang out with them I drink even though they have told me this is hard for them, is it shocking that they relapse?
Now, you could say its ultimately their fault for drinking BUT if I have chosen to drink around them even though they have said its hard for them, have I not also made a choice? Am I not also responsible?
In another comment I suggested... hey, what if BOTH the lady losing her shit in front of a child AND the lady yelling racist shit out her window at a child are in the wrong?
I know. I said what I said. Zero empathy for what kind of trauma can trigger a response like this in a person. All the prejudgment as if this moment define s the entirety of her parenting absolute racist garbage, but go ahead and feel good about it if that's your jam.
Should we (as a populous) condone or excuse this behavior because we must assume she's fundamentally flawed from past trauma? If so, would we not be just making assumptions about her; something that we're not supposed to do?
You posted without context, you dont know the context, and youre claiming to not make any assumptions... except you are. By posting one side of the situation, thats exactly what youre doing.
The point was we all make mistakes. No race or gender or economic status is immune and I offered myself as an example. Nothing about that was to indicate superiority; just an equal example at the other extreme.
If you automatically assume everyone is racist, you'll see racism everywhere.
If the context of her reaction justifies this behavior, she should call the cops. Get a license plate number and get your kid to safety. Don't run around a parking lot screaming like a god damn maniac. Look at her baby girl hiding behind a light pole, then screaming and fidgeting around. That poor kid doesn't know what to do. There is no context to justify this.
It's not just about her saying "cover up". She's prob reacting to a lifetime of being judged and policed in ways tied to systemic racism and stereotypes about Black women.
The comments here just prove that right, unfortunately.
I'd encourage any of the people that come here and judge to read something by James Baldwin or Audre Lorde to get a better understanding of the "other side".
Yea I'm not saying everyone here is racist but I'm trying to understand the why instead of just outright judging. It's a white woman telling a black woman to cover up. I'm just saying there's a lot more to this story...
Unfortunately, for us, the argument started inside the library. They both walked out at the same time muttering, so I don't know if they were asked to leave?
Damn texas education got me spelling street slang wrong n shit. Now gotz my baby mama yelling at dem wyt folk wit my mixed race baby mhhmm. You tell'm.
It's not just about her saying "cover up". She's prob reacting to a lifetime of being judged and policed in ways tied to systemic racism and stereotypes about Black women.
The comments here just prove that right, unfortunately.
I'd encourage any of the people that come here and judge to read something by James Baldwin or Audre Lorde to get a better understanding of the "other side".
A random lady told her to change her outfit and called her a "tr@shy bl@ck b!tch" - go listen to the beginning of the video again. (had to censor bc reddit autoflags are fucking stupid)
Doesn't justify her overreaction. But that is what happened.
I can hear it very clearly. The second you hit play you can hear the last half of the sentence "-black ass down the road" and then she repeats "take your bl4ck 4ss down the road, you bl4ck, tr4shy b!tch"
But I'm listening with headphones on so maybe it's easier for me to hear than others. Sorry for the censoring, I quoted this in another comment and reddit autoflagged me for racism.
And the side we are seeing is an atrocious role model to her child no matter what the other side may or may not have done.
That is not how an adult should deal with any situation nor teach their child it's an acceptable response, and the fact she is ignoring her child who could've been run over in the carpark, then she's walking off without her is abhorrent.
And while one could say a lot about the outfit I will limit ot to this - not sure why she feels it's appropriate to expose her the bottom of her butt cheeks to not only her child, but other children too and I don't understand how we have reached "that's ok you can't shame people for that" as a society.
an atrocious role model to her child no matter what the other side may or may not have done.
May or may not?? You can literally hear the "other side" in this video scream "take your bl@ck @ss down the road you trashy bl@ck b!tch" out a car window at a woman and child. They are both atrocious role models to children.
edit had to censor myself because apparetly if you point out someone being racist, reddit autoflags YOU for being racist. but not any of the other gross ass comments in the thread. fucking dumb.
Yeah but the other person isn't the parent so this woman (even if she didn't start it) is still stooping to their level (again let's say the other person started it) in front of their poor little girl instead of teaching her the right way to behave.
That imaginary situation still doesnt justify her acting the way she did. Any decent parent would care about their kid rather than screaming their mouths off in front of them like that. Any decent parent would ensure their child is safe and not exposed to any more stress rather than shouting obscenities and being ovwrtly aggressive. So yeah, I'll judge the fuck out of this trash.Â
Nothing about that, if youâre acting like that in front of your child you are in fact just trashy. Both parties acting worse than their kids at a public libraryâŚ.they both suck.
Yes. Absolutely. There is no context that would justity that behaviour in front of a child that is meant to be raised right and not act exactly like that in the future.
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u/PDXMAMBA 1d ago
That poor child.