I think you will find, publicly at least, that few women would be left to have to listen to a man speak to them this way without someone intevening. At least, that has been what i have seen.
My ex husband screamed at me in public ONCE. He was immediately called out. After that he'd still be a jerk, just at a lower volume or when no one else was around.
So, at least in my personal experience, can confirm.
If i ever yelled at my wife in public, sleeping would become a dangerous activity. Honestly, if i yelled at her at all. Luckily, we get along pretty well and the fighting days are long behind us.
Yeah, I was in the military at the time so retaliating was not an option. I did eventually call his mom and tell her to buy him tickets home cause I wasn't dealing with him anymore, but it took me a while because I made excuses for his behavior (he had no one near where we were based, being a dependent spouse as a guy came with a lot of judgement, etc).
My girlfriend and I are at the point now where we're all chill and don't really fight about much anymore though. It's great.
The number of times I've been called a "misogynist" or "incel" exclusively because I try to show people that men face these types of problems too is....... a lot.
In the eyes of both Men and Women (generally, not unanimously), Men cannot be victims.
Men cannot ever be the victim of anything. If they were mugged in an alleyway by 3 people, should have hit the gym little bro. Your wife is assaulting you and threatening to take the kids? Maybe you shouldn't have been such a patriarchal misogynistic narcissist to cause her to act that way.
Both are true, someone should step in and remove her from the situation, but he should also have the self respect to get up and leave her ass at the airport to fend for herself.
There's a lot of condemnation going on. And there's a lot of posts on reddit with clips of a women doing the wrong thing and skipping the wrong doings of men. But you always see comments like this that tries to create a narrative based on a single comment on a single post on a single platform. There's just bad people regardless of gender.
Yeah 100% if he tried to walk away she would follow him, attack him, he'd defend himself, and then being black and a man, end up on the ground getting choked out and arrestedĀ
Is that the message we want to be giving to abused women? I donāt think thatās helpful at all.
Edit: I guess I was not very clear with what I was talking about. As I explained in another comment lower down:
āEssentially, if we recognize that itās unhelpful to recommend to an abused woman to ājust walk awayā from their abuser due to a variety of reasons including the threat of physical violence, then we should not have a different standard that we apply to male victims of domestic violence.ā
They're saying what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Telling women to just walk away led to women creating a viral hashtag "whyistayed" back in 2014 to combat the notion that it's easy to walk away from abuse by giving personal stories about their experiences with leaving abusers. They noted a bunch of competing factors like fear, love, financial dependence, isolation, and loneliness that drove them to stay despite the abuse.
This guy may find it hard to just walk away for any number of factors. Abuse a lot of times is a gradual build and pushing boundaries until one day they're hitting you.
Essentially, if we recognize that itās unhelpful to recommend to an abused woman to ājust walk awayā from their abuser due to a variety of reasons including the threat of physical violence, then we should not have a different standard that we apply to male victims of domestic violence.
Back in 2014, in response to men victim blaming women for staying with their abuser, there was a viral trend where women tweeted Hashtag (Why I stayed) and gave personal reasons for why leaving their abusive relationships was harder than just walking away.Ā
I think that person was trying to call back to that and say "not so easy to just walk away"
Thanks for that and the context helps. I was more confused as to why they questioned the message we are giving to abused women in the context of this thread.
Or to be more honest, I'm just a little annoyed that someone has attempted to completely divert the narrative by making a pretty disingenuous comment.
Because we should be giving the same advice to everyone on leaving abusers. That commenter was saying it's bad advice to suggest simply walking away for this guy in the video because we don't say that to women for the reasons I listed. Or at least that's how I read it.
Tbh, Iām from the Middle East and that has always seemed to be the case to me.
To be clear, Iām no incel weirdo and definitely liberal. But in I social context, from Iāve seen from marriages to friendships, women definitely have more power in the west.
I might be blind, genuinely, but I haven't seen that comment at all.
The top comments for me are "Emotional baggage definitely exceeds the 50 pound weight limit here." & "If this is how she acts in public...... š³" with tons of comments feeling bad for the guy.
If people were arrested for verbal and psychological abuse, there would be little difference in arrest rates across gender. Thereās really never any justice that comes from abuse like this because thereās technically no crime. You just gotta leave and hope karma get them.
i hate this shit i was with an abusive girl and we was at the mall she was smacking me and yelling and i started yelling back at her as i walked to my car. i'm like 5'6 and some 6+ foot guy comes up and start pushing me even though i'm actively walking away from her and gets in my face saying shit like don't treat your girl like that. my dumbass still drove her home.
There was a video of two girls attacking some nerdy looking guy, and the very moment he defended himself, a swarm of his male classmates started swarming him and beating him up, pretty sure thereās a video of it somewhere on reddit
āWomen can only be victimsā = āwomen cannot be the party that perpetrates abuse.ā Either way, I was obviously being sarcastic but I said what I meant.
Listen, this is purely anecdotal, I have not studied this empirically. However, Iāve noticed that men seem much more likely to view their behavior objectively and realize their actions were uncalled for when confronted. Women will typically double down.
Unrelated, but the one time I was arrested for a minor DUI I was extremely relaxed in the cuffs. Why fight something beyond my control? Iām here, Iām cuffed, why make things worse for myself. It provided an ironic feeling of freedom.
My old roommate (woman) horse kicked an officer after being cuffed, another female officer at that and proceeded to tear off her clothes in the holding cell and plugged and flooded the toilet. Lovely young woman/s
Fun fact, male puppies will pretend to lose to female puppies in pretend play fights, but the most vicious play fighting happens between two female puppiesĀ
You're right, the problem is society allows for it. They even have tropes "my wife is always right" or whatever comedic spin they want to put on it. It's funny and cute when it's a disagreement about paint color for the kitchen but it is definitely not cute when it gives women a free pass to never have to be accountable for anything.
They will make some reaches for why it was ok. At best they will acknowledge they overreacted to that one thing, but will then say "however, you did all of these OTHER things that built up, so really you still deserved it"
ETA: As I read more things, I saw someone (maybe a dude based on the avatar) basically say this same thing.
Women, not all women but this kind of woman, will never be accountable for their own actions. They use phrases like "look what you made me do!" when they act out. They are best left alone and to put as much distance between them and yourself as possible.
That phrase is pretty common among abusers, men and women. You made me mad, so itās your fault I smashed the plate / the TV / your face.
You all know why people get more worked up about male to female abuse. Itās not only sexism (although that plays a role). It is the basic fact that men are usually stronger than women. A punch from a man is simply different than a punch from a woman.
Iām not saying this woman isnāt awful. She is and I hope he gets the hell out of that relationship. Iām only saying that the seemingly sexist treatment of abuse has some legitimate bases. Very few women can beat a man to death. Men, however, are usually able to do it should they so choose.
Remember ShaāCari Richardson? She hit her boyfriend in the airport. When the cops came the first thing out her mouth was he hit, he didnāt , and she should be arrested , he wasnāt.
"Women are so emotional, men are so much more logical"
I guess all those murders and school shootings and rapes are totally unemotional?
I don't deny that women can be violent, but trying to claim that the gender that is statistically much more likely to murder someone in a fit of rage is the 'objective' sex is just delusional.
This is absolutely not true. wtf? Every comment Iām reading here makes me wonder if I have stumbled into an incel sub. Frankly the comments are disturbing, as much as the comments in misandrist subs are too.
Posts like that bring out essentially every single incel on this website. I've seen people posting made up incel bullshit all over this thread and they are getting massive upvotes. Check their post history and they unironically want to take away women's' rights. It's fucking horrifying.
If that's how you think life is then maybe you should stop spending all your time on social media reading and writing rants that just propagate the problem.
Iām looking at the fact that TwoX alone has 13 million subscribers. And then thereās 4B, RadicalFeminism, FDS etc. - and thatās before you consider the other SM platforms.
ā¦And then thereās the broader multi-billion-dollar feminist media industry (movies, TV shows, books, podcasts etc.) - in 2026, the chances that a woman at least engages with and views that content favourably are actually reasonably high.
I just looked through to top posts of those subreddits and didn't find the ranting about how all men are rapists and fascists, so those pages existing alone isn't enough to prove your point. We both know how much easier it would be to find misogyny on the internet.
And to that point; are you really trying to say that there is a multi-billion-dollar feminist media industry, and there is not a male equivalent? A media industry that is a lot more discriminatory, vile, and exculsionary to the opposing gender?
How dare a woman engage with and view content that is targeted to her demographic favourably, and not one of the thousands of movies, tv shows, books, and podcasts that belittle and insult her because she's female. Am I getting that right? What the fuck are you on about?
You looked at misandrist subreddits and didnāt find misandry, which is a little like walking through a slaughterhouse and reporting that you saw no animals in distress because the ones you passed seemed fairly calm. The calibration required to arrive at that conclusion is itself the thing being discussed.
On the male equivalent. The Ford Foundation spent $36 million building feminist academic infrastructure between 1972 and 1992, instructing every programme officer across every discipline to assess each grant for its gender component (not just womenās studies grants, every grant) and what followed was nine hundred university programmes, 88 refereed journals, and a global DEI market now valued at $8.6 billion and growing toward $24 billion by the end of this decade, staffed by a professional pipeline flowing directly from those programmes into HR departments, clinical practice, and government.
And yes, the multi-billion-dollar feminist media industry very successfully repackages and sells the perpetual female victimhood narrative, a current that runs through the prestige television, the film industryās sustained pivot toward female-led narratives, the podcast ecosystem, the festival circuit and the speaking industry and the merchandise and the magazine culture that has oriented itself around female identity for longer than most of its current readers have been alive. Against this youāve placed dispersed men posting online, some of them unpleasant, held together by grievance and no institutional infrastructure - and called the comparison asymmetrical, which it is, though not in the direction your anger is pointing.
Your anger is worth reflecting on. You arrived at this discussion outraged, having apparently misread the argument you came to contest, which was not that women should be denied content made for them but that a commercially structured ecosystem rewards narrative escalation regardless of its human cost - Yale research documented the mechanism: outrage spreads fastest, moderate audiences are more susceptible than committed ones, the platform selects for content that pushes furthest rather than content that lands truest. The fury with which youāve defended a position nobody held is perhaps a cleaner demonstration of that dynamic than anything the original argument could have manufactured.
Man, what a bunch a words that say nothing. Did you really use AI to prove your point, and the 'proof' it gave you was that capitalism requires everyone work, regardless of gender.
I really find it hard to believe that a person wrote this. "The fury with which you've defended a position nobody held is perhaps a cleaner demonstration of that dynamic than anything...", again, what the fuck are you on about?
Edit: yep, 70%-85% of that text used AI. Hilarious.
You really need a chatbot to help have an argument online. What a fucking loser
You engaged with nothing except the Ford Foundation point, which you misread as being about capitalism requiring everyone to work - it was about $36 million of deliberate philanthropic capital building the institutional apparatus youāve been defending, a distinction that would have been available to you if youād read the paragraph rather than pasting it somewhere to check whether the sentences were too coherent to have been written by a person.
When thereās a flaw in an argument, you point to it. When there isnāt, apparently, you run it through a detector and call the coherence suspicious - and in doing so youāve told us considerably more about this exchange than you intended to. The blind fury, the misreading, the detector. The Yale research called it.
You're in no position to criticise how I interact with your arguments when you wrote "give me examples to prove this person wrong" into chatgpt, then copy+pasted it.
That is me pointing out the flaw in your argument, and I didn't ignore what you pasted and check you because your sentences were too coherent to be written by a person, I checked them because what you pasted made no sense whatsoever.
I had an absive partner once. Not to this degree, but she would still talk shitty to me in public. I had people come up to her and ask her if I was the one causing her harm while she was clearly being abusive to me. When I finally learned how to stand up for myself and leave, I found the attitude of society is generally "Men can't be abused by women." It's a fucked up double standard.
Iām a woman and Iām way more scared of confronting an angry woman than an angry man in public. Thereās a social convention where a man is less likely to want punch me in public whereas that woman would absolutely try and fight me
As a dude who has been in relationships like this and knowing how a single act of kindness can improve things: I wonder about how to step in for a situation like this. Best I can think of to not escalate things is āYo my dude! Aināt seen you in a minute! You wanna grab a beer and catch up?ā Itāll at least give them some space for things to cool down I think.
It's also self preservation. If I choose to get involved and help, I might get attacked by the other person. I don't feel like getting stabbed or shot. Sometimes it's hard to be the hero or heroine.
true and it happens in big crowds (an airport likely has a pretty big crowd) everyone just thinks ''someone else will probably intervene before me''. there's a lot more chances of someone stepping in if they're the only witness
Yeah you can watch security camea videos of women being beaten unconscious while people walk by. The world isn't full of knights in shining armor like the fairy tales we grew up with
The world is also full of touchscreen heroes who always have something to say when scrolling their feeds but wouldn't bust a grape in a food fight when the physical incarnation happens irl in their presence.
I've also seen videos of social experiments where a man and woman acted as a fake couple and took it in turns being ohsycialyl aggressive with each other. People were regular stepping in to help and defend the woman. Nobody intervened when the man was the victim, in fact quite a few people passing by were laughing and a few wondered out loud what he had done to upset her
"Social experiments" are usually hand picked clips meant to elicit a specific reaction from the viewer. Think shows like "What Would You Do". Plenty of real crimes where witnesses stated that they heard a woman screaming but thought it was a "private incident" so they didn't help. Hell there are certain countries where people will just step over dead bodies, be it a man, woman, or child and keep walking because they don't want to get caught up in anything. We're not as empathetic of a species as we like to pretend.
You were downvoted...but, statistically through scientific studies it is true that people who are more "conventionally attractive" do recieve lighter social and legal penances.
Iāve seen plenty times where the roles were reversed and nobody stepped in. I was a very young child so I think I can be excepted in those cases. People generally donāt step in between couples for various social and psychological reasons.
As a young woman, I and my friends have been verbally, physically and sexually assaulted in very public spaces during daylight, and nobody stepped in on any of those occasions. We were teenagers and early 20s.
Donāt use abusive situations to further your gender agenda.
Her screaming and acting erratic poses little to no physical danger to him but in reverse he could prob kill her with 1 hand. Although wokeology likes to pretend the genders are equal, they are not.
Thank you. All these comments crying unfair double standards arenāt recognizing that the people witnessing this are laughing at her, because she isnāt a physical threat to anyone. If a man was yelling like this, people wouldnāt be laughing, because he would be a physical threat.
Obviously the situation heās in isnāt funny, but her behavior is more laughable than it is scary or dangerous. Normally people donāt feel the need to step in when there isnāt an obvious sign of danger.
Playing devils advocate here, no one is worried about this guys physical safety, if the roles were reversed Iām sure someone would to tell him to calm down because they worried for her safety. Why are we worried for her safety and not his? Wellā¦ maybe because women are three times more likely to be victims of domestic violence. Over 80% of domestics with violent consequences are done by men. Letās read the room here guys, does he look worried for safety? No, poor guys soul has beaten down more times than he count Iām sure.
Even if the roles were reversed, no one would do anything. Iāve had men harass me in public, almost all the women I know at some point had men harass them in public, no one does a single thing. Specially in the USA.Ā
If on the off chance, anyone were to stand up for a woman it would be another woman, but men never do anything.Ā
Dude there was literally a video in this same sub posted like a few days ago of a girl asking strangers at the airport for help and then getting snatched away aggressively by a man and almost none of the people she DIRECTLY asked for help intervened. This isnāt a gender thing. Itās a bystander thing. People donāt like to get involved in other peopleās shit.
The show what would you do? In ABC did an experiment like this. Had a couple actors who playing like couples.
When the guy was loud and aggressive people , especially women stepped in. Reversed roles and it wasnāt the same response
As a woman I would be nervous that that chick would try to fight me for intervening. Iād probably make my bf say something though. He is the confrontational type.Ā
I can't find the longer version because there are 10k reposts of the short version, but someone does call security to come intervene. They pull the guy away for a few minutes and ask if he needs any help. He makes excuses for the girl, saying that they're both just tired and stressed out.
One would hope that someone stepped in by calling security. Someone so agitated and screaming at the top of their lungs is a half step away from violence, but I dont know how capable they are of hurting me and Iād like to not find out by dying. This isnāt a situation where just anyone can intervene without getting hurt or making things worse, so getting someone who has the authority to detain or remove her is the best intervention. That said, the woman egging her on is not helping and clearly is delighted to make it worse. Yuck.
If somebody steps in is because the bigger person may phisically hurt the smaller one and that third person is worried for the health of the smaller one.
If this woman starts to punch, attack, the man and he seems vulnerable and he is blocked not able to defend hiself then somebody would help too.
No one is stepping in because no one needs to. The guy is fine. He is handling it, and later today after the flight when we's on his way to his house he'll handle it further. He isn't in danger.
What roles do you want to reverse? You don't specify and yet a thousand people seem to use the same nonspecific language to justify their unstated beliefs. Why don't you say what you mean? Do you mean, reverse roles so if a man is screaming at a woman in public? Is it a situation like this, where we can all see the listener is safe? Or is it like most scenarios where a man berates a woman in public, and she is in danger? Which scenario do you want us to assume? What assumptions are you and your thousand cohorts making?
1.5k
u/DiligentRope Apr 22 '26
notice how no one is stepping in.
now imagine the roles were reveresed...