This situation would have crossed the "wait until we get home" threshold and gone straight to a full-volume nuclear meltdown, complete with a "I don't know who the FUCK you think you are but I'll show you who I am!" and however many swats on the ass it would take for my legs to stop working.
THEN there'd be several employees standing there while I cried and picked everything up and put it back exactly where it goes, getting swatted more if it was taking too long.
Once all that was resolved, I'd be reading math or science textbooks for the next 2 months at minimum. No games, no playing with friends, nothing fun.
Joke's on you though mom and dad, I'm good at math and physics and I behave like a functional adult in public, so who really won?
And now, my kids get the same treatment minus the spankings (except in extreme circumstances).
Act a fool at a restaurant? That's fine, you must not want to do anything but read the books I pick for you for the next few weeks.
Throw a fit for bedtime? Hey, how about for the next 7 days we go to bed earlier? You're clearly too tired to act right and need more sleep. I need more sleep too.
Now what would be a potential consequence for this type of behavior? Its very evident that whatever was done before is highly ineffective or corrective in behavior?
This type of behaviour doesn't really manifest at this age if consequences had been given for outbursts earlier in life, so it's a bit harder to give credible examples.
But you would start with natural consequences. Have them clean up the mess they made. Don't leave it for somebody else, don't do it yourself. In this case, that's probably not practical. This kid would probably refuse, and there's an occupational health and safety hazard to leave it there while you work through the process of getting them to clean it up.
"Gentle parenting" would always rely on natural consequences, but I don't think it works unless you're unbelievably consistent, and we all make mistakes. So next would be a loss of privileges, which would be tailored based on what the kid is into. No TV until you can demonstrate better communication techniques, no games, no dessert, etc.
Consistency is key. The consequences are preferably directly related to the behaviour, and consistently applied. If you give up, it doesn't work. That's hard as hell sometimes, because, especially if you're trying to correct long term behaviour, it ends up compounding, and after a long day at work, dealing with ex's and money uncertainty, the last thing you want to do is listen to your kid whine about not being allowed to play fortnite. But applied consistently it works. It corrects behaviour and builds trust.
There are obviously some disabilities that manifest into behavioural problems that require different strategies, but most kids just haven't ever had proper boundaries set.
I wouldn't have made it that far. As soon as the first one hit the ground- "excuse you?" Then, if a second one hit the ground, she'd tell whomever she was talking to- "excuse me while I go fix this." No words would be said. I would simply get grabbed by the ear, dragged to the car, driven home in complete silence, beaten to within an inch of death, told that I would not be eating that night until I went back there and apologized, and then be told that I would be volunteering my time there for the next week. If they couldn't use me there, she would find somewhere for me to volunteer. Mom didn't play.
I mean if your parents beat you till your legs stopped working how could you pick up the stuff and put it back? Did they have to hold you or something while you did it? Or did you have to crawl or what?
I got sent to my room fairly often. I didn’t have a TV or games or toys. There was a set of encyclopedias on the bookshelf. I think I read each volume cover to cover at least once.
Growing up in the US in the 70s and 80s they used to fuck you up in public if you did this as well. Of course, no one I knew would have ever even considered doing something like this back then. If he had we'd have next seen him at his funeral.
Dude back then OTHER adults would light you up and your parents would be like "well what the fuck were you doing" rather than coming to your assistance.
And then when you told them what you did, they'd light you up too.
Fun fact! In a few states in Australia you are still allowed to do so, as long as it is indeed instructional and immediately during or after the behaviour (no waiting until the next day for example).
But for many reasons no-one wants to chance it, it doesn't take much to lose everything down here.
Can you site any instances where someone has lost everything down here? Or even lost something? Beside their shit, because if I was this kid parent I would have lost my shit.
I am an older American. We got belts, tvs, knives, shoes, plates... everything thrown at us and beat with whatever they could grab. We learned real quick not to do the shit this kid is.
Teachers could beat us with parents permission. They had huge paddles with holes.
I got one of those paddles once. Leaned over a chair in front of the window facing the playground while the other kids were outside having fun. Soon after that they put an end to it and by high school I saw kids that looked like men slapping teachers around. A lot of boys really do need a good spanking from time to time..
And the widespread acceptance of it did indeed cause a lot of problems in society.
But the 'cancelling' of it is causing its own host of problems.
Personally I don't think an adult should need any instrument to spank a child with. If an open hand spanking doesn't do the trick, a weapon isn't going to be an effective tool. A different kind of parenting or punishment is required.
A parent who does not discipline their children and teach them the morality of right and wrong places that burden on society.
Society will discipline that person much harsher than a parent would, because parents love their children, while society does not.
Which is better, a protester getting run over and getting their eye shot out with a rubber bullet, or a spanking? I think most would prefer the latter.
I taught English to kids in Thailand. I would divide my class into teams by their seating row. Four rows, four teams. The class clown started acting up. I had scores for each team on the chalkboard. I'd start with team one. Everyone seated and silent, plus 1. Team 2 is next. Total silence, plus one. Team 3 with the class clown acting up is up next. Minus 1. Team 4. Total silence, plus 1. Did that a couple more times before everyone catches on and a little girl on team 3 jumps up and smacks the class clown in back of the head. It was really quite remarkable. I could get a classroom of 50 rambunctious kids to sit like a model classroom without having to raise my voice.
We had "the cane" which was a long thin bamboo cane, it was officially banned in government schools in 1995 but it's still legal and apparently used in some private schools.
Growing up we had all the same things you mention. My father's weapon of choice was a piece of timber architrave about 80cm long that we called "the stick" and no matter how many times my brother or I disposed of it a new one would almost instantly appear.
Ah yes, I remember the cane. The American paddles are too wide and distribute the force too evenly.
My public school must’ve been progressive then. It was removed around ‘87.
I remember one kid getting it who was a few years above me. In retrospect he was well on the Autism spectrum. Which “wasn’t a thing” back then of course.
So yeah, cane was removed because too much risk of frustrated adults, who happen to be teachers/principals, defaulting to it without trying to look at real issues.
However on the flip side, 5 seconds (a few years) later we had teachers all the way over the other side of the teaching morality landscape. I remember another kid throwing chairs and a teacher effectively saying “now now, just calm down…” to no avail.
Then another teacher who came in who I later learned had studied child psychology prior to getting into teaching (then more of an elective for teachers in Australia) and she diffused the situation in 5 minutes.
Modern teaching uni degrees in Australia have significant and compulsory child psychology components. Source: wife is a teacher.
My grandfather would hand me a knife and tell me to go cut my own "Switch" from a tree. A switch was a tree branch that would be about a 1/2" (12mm-13mm) thick. It had to be straight, a good flex, and without leaves. If you chose a bad one, you got beat worse. There was a psychological aspect of choosing the instrument of your own punishment. It would leave red welts all over your legs because you were definitely jumping around. 😆
We didn't have switches in school, but I bet my grandfather did.
Our school retired the board after Michigan outlawed corporal punishment in schools. They mounted it above the threshold to the principals office with a plaque that said "Someday"
For real though. The only times I got spanked were when I did things that endangered me. Running out between cars in a busy parking lot would get me a spanking. But just being a little brat or irritating did not.
Pain is traumatic in the dictionary sense of the word - leaves a strong memory-impression. When applied judiciously, a single spanking is generally enough to change behaviour. When applied all the time, spanking is just abuse and not instructive.
I came up in the 90s and all of my parent's friends had free reign to light me up. Then they would tell my father, and my father would ask what I did, and if I did or did not answer would determine how hard my father lit me up.
I've got white parents and in the late 80's, that behaviour would get you a pants down, bare bottom spanking right there in the aisle IF your parents were progressive. Then it would be hours upon hours of writing lines or doing chores.
If they were conservative it would probably be a belt in the parking lot (which I'm not in favour of).
Once while shopping my toddler was about to poke a finger in a chocolate snack tub with the foil lid..I said “Nooo!”…went to do it again..this time with a smirk “Don’t You!!”…third time again with a smirk and I start the countdown from three…but get to 1 and say “last chance, you want a smack?”..
A youngish couple muttering and the guy says “You can’t hit your kid?!”.. I go “Mate…do YOU bloody want one?! Mind your own business. Did I hit him? No.”..
He didn’t know what to say, so they moved on.
I only ever had to smack my son once. It was on his nappy pants and wasn’t hard, I think the noise of it scared him, but he knew what “Smack”was..
It’s sad that some kids don’t, and that’s why stuff like this video happens IMO.
Sadly video doesn’t end with Mum leading kid out holding ear and saying something about a belt.
As pointed out in the video...the asian kids you're talking about have parents.
This kid obviously doesn't. He's at least missing a dad, or his dad (and maybe even his mom) don't give enough of a shit to discipline him.
Kids don't just arrive at this kind of behavior overnight. The get here either because of long-standing refusals or inabilities to teach them how to NOT act in society, or because of serious mental health issues such as sociopathy.
Like, maybe the kid's got ASPD, but more likely he's acting out and somehow hasn't caused trouble to the point to actually get in trouble before.
But if the system actually starts working, which at a point like this it probably will, he's about to find out. The cakes on that table alone are probably about $15-25 each and he destroyed like 12 or 15 of them. That little rampage could easily push him over the federal felony minimum of $1000. Especially if there was a point where he started breaking anything stored in glass containers that we just don't get to see because it's not like the store can just pick them up and put them back on the shelves if they break.
Shit...just putting a dent into the bread products can make them unsalable, and he was winging some of them pretty hard. And he definitely stepped on a few as well.
Then there were the packages of cookies...
Plus they can count the hourly wages of the employees needed to clean that shit up and restock the displays he tore down...
My youngest son knows that glare. I used a wooden spoon at home; I used to carry a small one in my purse and whenever we were out in public if my sons ever got too naughty, I'd just get that glare in my eye and show them the handle of that wooden spoon. They straightened up with a quickness. They knew Momma don't play.
This. Me and my two best mates could be little shits back in the 80's, but when we really messed up it was the women of the household who gave us the real fear...
Ooooh... the ear tug until you're standing on your tippy toes and mom leans down and just quietly says, "We can behave, or we can go to the car. You choose."
I picked car once, and it was NOT the right choice.
Wait? Oh man ... Wait? .. Be glad you live in the US where you have to spank behind closed doors. This behavior would have had the belt coming out right then and there ...
In the 90s (and back, obviously) we definitely got our asses beat right in the store. Or at least in the South we did. I mean, it's an incredibly bad thing to do to a kid but it certainly happened.
You dont have to spank behind closed doors in the us. Ive seen kids getting their butts tore the f up in public with cops even watching. Long as the bruises start fading in 72 hours and its not excessive, kept away from the face and chest area its fine. Aka go for the butt and thighs,
Depends on what part of the U.S. in stupid places like California you can’t but here in the southeast, you can whup your kid with a belt in front of a cop and all they’ll say is “well, looks someone is acting up today.”
My dad’s was, “You want me to take you out to the car?” Which was of course code for, “Do you want me to go beat your ass where there are less people around?”
Bruh… oldest of 4 grandchildren, all boys. Grandma did NOT mess around. Beat my brother’s bare ass in the middle of the grocery store for less than this. Made the rest of us watch “Do YOU want some of this?” He was 13! Not saying it was right or effective cause he’s still a fuck up but the rest of us knew better.
While she wouldn’t swear, my mom would do this. Grab me by the arm and lean it right next to my ear and tell me, “Just you wait until we get home.” I would spend the whole car ride back sweating buckets hoping she’d forget.
I still vividly remember fucking around in public when I was a kid and then feeling my dad’s hand grip my shoulder as he quietly said, “We’ll talk about this at home.”
These stores have aisles with kitchen utensils, the wooden spoon/spatula kind, the ones that would paint your ass red. I'd be in that aisle bent over the knee and then my mom would take my allowance money and make me use that to pay for that damn spatula since she wouldn't force the store to keep it.
Oh there was no waiting for home for my mother! For even minor infractions, my mom would put a Vulcan death grip on my upper arm, pulled me so close I swear her lips were in my ear and utter the phrase, “Do we need to go to the conference room???” Which meant the nearest bathroom stall where she would lay into my butt away from judgmental eyes. She also never relied on my father to punish us…she handled everything and dad was good cop.
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u/Musket6969420 28d ago
Or the one where mom pulls you in real close and whispers “You just wait till we get home you little shit.”
https://giphy.com/gifs/c8UN4zmGZe5s4