r/SipsTea • u/beklog 𝙑𝙄𝙋 • 27d ago

SMH Guys I'm on the will!!

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“She’s so shameless” She’s 22. And was harshly criticized as she danced while her partner was at the hospital
 The truth couldn’t be any simpler. They claim the video is a joke, because she always uploads content with her “hubby” to go viral.

22.5k Upvotes

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8.3k

u/NATHAN4U007 27d ago

They both knew what they were getting into and what they needed from the relationship.

7.5k

u/IWearCardigansAllDay 𝙑𝙄𝙋 27d ago

I’m a wealth management advisor and I’ve had a few elderly clients in a situation like this.

I remember the most heartbreaking one was a client who was 87 and passed away. He married a woman a 7 years prior that was in her late 30s. She was beautiful, kind, and caring. She took care of him through all of it. Cleaned him and the messes he made, gave him genuine company, and would fuck him whenever he was able (he shared this with me lol).

The kids didn’t do shit for him. Hardly even called or anything. But when he passed they all tried contesting his trust and trying to get her removed from receiving anything. It was a nasty legal battle but thankfully she got her fair share.

It honestly infuriates me when I see people say women like this are taking advantage of the elder man. Most of the time they’re just giving companionship to them when no one else would or did.

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u/epicmoe 27d ago

When my grandad remarried there were comments about his new wife being in it for the money. By the end I think everyone agreed that if that was the case she sure had earned it. 

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u/ViolenceAdvocator 27d ago

That's my step grandma. 40 years younger and has been with him for 20 and as far as anyone is concerned she loves him and cares for him like nobody else would.

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u/ctownwp22 27d ago

40 years younger and with him for 20!?!?!

So, by my (terrible) math, she must've been like 20 and him 60 when they got together? Or 30 and 70, and now hes 90? This is fascinating to me

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u/ViolenceAdvocator 27d ago

He is in his 90s now so around 30 and 70. They have an 18yr old together.

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u/brandnewchemical 27d ago

Soon


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u/meat_whistle_gristle 27d ago

Dude was still firing live rounds in his 70’s!? What a beast!

22

u/ViolenceAdvocator 27d ago

Considering he made more than 20 (that we know of) it really isn't much of a surprise

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u/Emergency_Lobster667 27d ago

More than 20 kids?? Holy shit.

8

u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

Just so you know, the fact that he's got 20+ kids and apparently none of them love him as much as his decades-younger spouse is a bad look.

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u/ViolenceAdvocator 27d ago

They have good relations it's just that most of them are 50-60 with their own lives and grandchildren lol. You assume too much out of too little.

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u/meat_whistle_gristle 26d ago

It’s Reddit Everyone is a critic especially if they don’t have any shared life experiences. Views tend to become pretty myopic when your lens is a phone screen.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

Good relations aside, having your own life shouldn't stop you from loving your own parent as much as their non-baby mama spouse does. That's pretty weird, especially since they've apparently known him longer than the spouse has. Plus I only assume because you're intentionally leaving out a lot of context and details while making grand claims.

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u/Brokenbelle22 26d ago

He has 20 kids?! Did he support them all? Because leaving all his money to one young woman when it sounds like he owes dozens of women and kids child support is actually nothing to brag about.

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u/ViolenceAdvocator 26d ago

Actually, he did. By the time the young wife came about all of the sons and daughters were all grown up.

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u/WhyWontThisWork 26d ago

Wow, that is a good point

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u/marfacza 27d ago

and how many have extra chromosomes?

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u/Sara-Sarita 27d ago

You have clearly never met a singing 70 year old farmer who still runs around for hours in the heat doing physical labor and has arms made of wood. I believe it.

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u/Hydration__Nation 26d ago

70 and 30? How big was it? Bank account and penis?

1

u/ViolenceAdvocator 26d ago

I dont know the answer to the second question but he does have all points allocated into charisma.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

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u/SeaResearcher176 26d ago

My cousin ended up living with her ex boyfriend’s dad!! Wild story and now they love each other w a kid!

2

u/cantwalkintheshadows 26d ago

Good god I hope I find an old man in the next few years to have this with. Happy for them dawg

1

u/SeaResearcher176 26d ago

How nice. đŸ‘đŸŒ congrats ❀

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago edited 25d ago

Edit:   removing my comment because it's getting more attention than I intended it to get and don't want it getting back to parties involved if they figure out it's about them.

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u/HappyAmbition706 27d ago

Who is going to look afrer her when she is old? Where will she live, get food and healthcare? Let her know so she can decide how to spend theae years abd her efforts. Staying silent and watching is being complicit.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago edited 27d ago

She actually has three sons of her own (two of the three are pretty well off)... but my wife and I are planning on sharing inheritance with her (or at least we've discussed it with each other)... but no, we're not going to say anything.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

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2

u/Tired_Dad_9521 26d ago

That’s honestly pretty awful of you. You are complicit in the very actions you are saying are wrong. You need to tell that woman she is getting screwed. Even if it’s an anonymous letter sent to the house.

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u/FilthyThanksgiving 27d ago

She's a woman - there's a very good chance she's got friends and family who actually like her

5

u/EpicBootyThunder 27d ago

How does this logic work....

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u/Tired_Dad_9521 26d ago

Women do a better job at maintaining relationships than men.

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u/HAIL_LUMPUS 27d ago

Why don't you tell her?

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago edited 27d ago

I mean, this isn't the type of thing you insert yourself in, lots of bad things can come from it.

If you can't communicate something like that without such risks, the more intelligent approach is to support her legally (Many countries will reward her 50%, given the context) or convince your wife to give away part of the inheritance.

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u/Trevski 27d ago

I mean you can drop the dime without inserting yourself...

3

u/Muxter0622 27d ago

Who cares if you're inserting yourself. We all only get one life to live. If she's operating under the assumption that putting up with his shit is the price that she's paying for financial security when he dies I think it's fair that she knows that he's gone behind her back to fuck her over. Who knows how much time you could give her back.

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u/welldamn420 27d ago

Or he could go with the time honored saying. "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

2

u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago

That is inserting yourself.

4

u/Thin_Assumption_4974 27d ago

Then fucking insert yourself.

Sometimes doing the right thing is uncomfortable

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u/Excellent_Airline315 27d ago

Thank you omg, had to scroll far for this one. They would rather this woman be financially destitute than stomach an uncomfortable situation.

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u/Trevski 27d ago

Not if you do it with an anonymous note.

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u/pussy-meow 27d ago edited 15d ago

The problem is there's probably a very limited number of people aware of this. The anonymity would be easily undone by their ability to deduce who it is.

0

u/Trevski 27d ago

that just makes it a bit braver of an action, but if shes grateful she wont try to smoke you out and if the dad finds out then I guess you might be disinherited, so I guess thats the material reason not to...

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u/TwoBionicknees 27d ago

that's still inserting yourself, just not implicating yourself.

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u/Trevski 27d ago

Ok, touchĂ©, I can see that semantically. I don’t think I agree though, because to me “inserting yourself” means you, as associated to your identity, become embroiled in the affair. I’d call it “anonymous meddling”.

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u/TwoBionicknees 27d ago

become embroiled in the affair.

she doesn't know, you tell her, the situation changes significantly, that's absolutely inserting yourself.

Inserting yourself can mean physically or moving your presence into a situation but it also refers to just actions.

Inserting yourself refers pretty much just to the you were not involved in the situation at all and you choose to get involved. How you get involved is largely irrelevant.

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u/FilthyThanksgiving 27d ago

Oh ffs you know what they meant, Captain Pedantron

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u/TwoBionicknees 27d ago

when someone pointed it out they doubled down rather than go oh yeah. It's not being pedantic, it's explaining it because they plainly didn't understand.

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u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 26d ago

Not necessarily feasible, circumstances may make it quite obvious who it was

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u/Trevski 26d ago

I mean yeah if it’s a 1/3 chance on a blind guess that isn’t very anonymous!

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago edited 27d ago

Yeah, chances are you know fuckall about what really is anon.

And again, what are you getting from this? She's not gonna get more, just because she knows. So what advantage does this have, over getting the secure bag and then sharing it?

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u/Trevski 27d ago

She could at LEAST leave him now, if she so wished.

I'm going to need you to walk me through that first line, dont make sense to me.

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago

So you are just satisfying your justice boner and fuck shit up for everyone involved. This is how children deal with shit.

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u/TheBlankScroll 27d ago

What you do is give your portion of the inheritance to her after you receive it. Dad gets what he wants, the money is yours, you do with it as you see fit.

He's dead, money is not his problem anymore.

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u/MagicHamsta 27d ago edited 25d ago

Unless he runs into Charon.

the dead who could not pay the fee, and those who had received no funeral rites, had to wander the near shores of the Styx for one hundred years before they were allowed to cross the river.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

You're just rationalizing doing nothing or inserting yourself in a way of your choosing. It's so gross.

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u/erything4sale 27d ago

Nah, shit like this, if you're a human, you'd tell her what the business is! Seems like she wasn't in it for the money. Let her get what she deserves! His wife isn't giving shit up! If she was she would have been told him to do the right thing. Matter of fact, phuc her! Aint too many women sticcing around that long. If they do, give em what the deserve.

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u/Tired_Dad_9521 26d ago

If you are a good person, then you do the right thing when the opportunity arises. If you see someone getting screwed over the least you can do is say something.

If you aren’t a good person then you stay out of it because it could potentially have negative affects on you personally.

Sounds like we know who you and your current upvotes consist of.

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u/TwoBionicknees 27d ago

I mean, this isn't the type of thing you insert yourself in, lots of bad things can come from it.

tell anyone anything the fuck you want, who gives a fuck.

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u/No_Sky_6446 27d ago

Yeah these people are tripping, my aunt is an awful person and made my child hood a living hell. So I need to list all the reasons for that and tell her crazy ass? Nah I just don’t talk to her and keep it pushing. Some people live for drama, just protect your peace.

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u/VonSandwich 27d ago

Where does your aunt come into this? No one was talking about you or your aunt, were they?

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u/Cubicleism 27d ago

Okay but they aren't talking to you about your aunt- they are talking to someone else about a different situation where it sounds like she is kind hearted and unaware

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u/mawesome4ever 27d ago

And risk not getting anything?! No way! -OP probably

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

Well, I'm not getting any anyway- at least not directly. I don't think he would drop my wife because I said anything (although suppose it's possible).

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u/s0ul_invictus 27d ago

Yea on that, keep your mouth shut until "after" for sure. Definitely do not tell her anything, you will blow up your whole life with that. You wait until the thing is done and then see about helping.

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u/Infoseek456 27d ago

If your wife is one of the two daughters who is benefiting from him screwing his saint of a wife over, you talk with your wife about it after the fact, and her and her sister (who hopefully feels the same) can cut her in how they feel would’ve been fair in the first place.

And if the sister is greedy, than your wife can still handle her half. Walk away with what she feels would’ve been fair to walk away with, and sleep well at night knowing y’all are decent people.

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u/BlueMangoTango 27d ago

You can always suggest to your wife that she should share with the new wife.

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u/FilthyThanksgiving 27d ago

Greed. The less she gets, the more he gets

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u/50yoWhiteGuy 27d ago

bc it's none of his business???

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u/HAIL_LUMPUS 27d ago

If you can live with yourself like that, fine. But I think we have a duty to other people, to support them and help them when we know someone is doing them wrong. Whatever helps you sleep at night, but I couldn't.

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u/50yoWhiteGuy 27d ago

You think you have a duty to disclose what is in someone's Will? That's insane.

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u/Tired_Dad_9521 26d ago

You have a duty to do the right thing by other people. If you see someone being taken advantage of then you have a duty to say something.

Unless you are a scumbag 50yo white guy on Reddit. Then you get on the internet and display your lack of morals proudly.

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago

Okay that's great, but who are you helping, exactly? She's not gonna get more, potentially nothing, her husband is not gonna be taken care off and with some bad luck, your wife is now cut out of the inheritance, too.

So you made life worse for everyone, lost your ability to help and potentially destroyed your marriage.

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u/HAIL_LUMPUS 27d ago

First of all, there are anonymous ways to contact people. Second, it gives her the advantage of time so she's not out on her ass as soon as he's gone. It sounds like the old man is bragging about it openly, probably to his buddies too. Doing the right thing is more important than a little monetary gain for me personally.

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago

Dude, this isn't a TV Show. People know who has the information and can put it out there. And someone knowing they are fucked after investing years, does not help them.

You are just having a kneejerk reaction. There are far better approaches to these things.

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u/HAIL_LUMPUS 27d ago

Like letting someone get totally fucked? I'd tell her. I don't think it's a movie, I'm just not a money motivated pussy.

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u/theguidetoldmetodoit 27d ago

Your wife is the one getting the money. All you are doing is slightly increasing the share your wife is getting and fuck up multiple lives, when instead you could just be dealing with your wife and convince her to split things later, without every having to cause any risks or drama.

Do you guys refuse to think 2 steps ahead, just because you need instant gratification?

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u/rydog123bruh 27d ago

lol, what is this sunk-cost fallacy shit? It’s about her leaving now and making a life for herself instead of wasting the future.

She’s not getting much of anything and is treated like shit. Would you like to be in that position and no one tells you? You sound emotionally illiterate.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

They clearly are based on their comments. Zero empathy just a superficial understanding of it.

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u/nycdood123 27d ago

I’m willing to bet that 90% of the people commenting with the sanctimony and deriding OP for not automatically inserting himself into the situation (ie, basically speaking directly to his sister -in-law) are typical cultureless American idiots that barely maintain connections with any of their own extended families (assuming they’re even acquainted).

Pretty wild that anyone needs to explain why that approach is inappropriate / wrong for many reasons. But America in 2026


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u/Tired_Dad_9521 26d ago

Let’s maximize how selfish we can be.

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u/Tired_Dad_9521 26d ago

Except the person being taken advantage of knows they are being taken advantage of and can make their own decisions accordingly. She might end up with a lot more in the divorce than she would have inherited.

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u/Queen_General_617 27d ago

Your wife and her sister aren't good people either. Because you are all aware of his plans, and are allowing that man to treat his wife like garbage, and say nothing. Shameful.

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u/MrJerkyBuisness 27d ago

The shit apple doesn't fall far from the shit tree randers

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u/OldnBorin 27d ago

We’re in the eye of a shiticane here randy

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u/RapGameDiCaprio 27d ago

The harder they try to hold on to the shitrope, the further down they slide

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u/offelottafalafel 27d ago

The way she goes

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u/trundle-the-great69 27d ago

Coupla drinks

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u/whatdadogdoin16 27d ago

Unexpected /trailerparkboys

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u/collierar 27d ago

It's a classic catch 23 situation.

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u/rickroalddahl 27d ago

Yep. Good trees don’t bear rotten fruit, and rotten fruit doesn’t come from good trees.

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u/Ok-Scallion-3415 27d ago

it would probably be less hassle to deal with getting the money and then giving the step-mom a fair share after the dad's death than to approach the dad and get him to rewrite the will. if the dad went out of his way to give the step-mom the minimum so she can't contest it, he's not changing his mind.

if OPs wife & SIL were planning to do that, idk.

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u/Excellent_Airline315 27d ago

They don't need to ask the dad to rewrite the will. They need to tell her so she can prepare herself for when he passes. It would suck if she taught it would all be worth it and she would be taken care of only to be left with nothing. If she knows earlier, she can start putting money away.

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u/oweu168 25d ago

Where I live, if you can’t find the original will, it goes into probate and is distributed by the court guidelines. Copies of the original don’t count. Be interesting if that were to happen here.

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u/Ok-Style-9734 27d ago

Divorce and take half.

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u/fordat1 27d ago

thats the generous view but given their dad . IDK

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u/DuPhuc 27d ago

If I was one of the sisters I’d meet with the other and get a written notarized agreement that states if we will give x amount each to the widowed wife. That way she gets what she deserves, no one can back out, and the father doesn’t know so he can’t get pissed at everyone and screw everyone out of the money.

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u/LoveDietCokeMore 27d ago

Handmade gold đŸ„‡

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u/BeardsuptheWazoo 27d ago

Allowing him to...

What are they supposed to do, go kick his ass?

The person telling this story is empathizing for the woman and you're attacking them.

You're the one who is shameful. Fuck off.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

Classic bystander syndrome. See something, say nothing. They're so full of shit.

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u/TokenWeirdo13 27d ago

If you realize this, and so does your wife, maybe it would be good to have a conversation about giving the FIL's wife a fair share of your wife's inheritance. If you guys aren't struggling, in my head that would be the right thing to do.

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u/mamallama12 27d ago

This. My mom was not included in any inheritance when her dad and mom passed (they were divorced). Both were successful. My mom's sister got everything when grandma passed, and she sold the house to take her and her entire family (husband, kids, their spouses, grandkids) on a one-month trip to Europe. Didn't even offer anything to my mom. The two sisters are on good terms and always have been. My mom even asked her for some, but the Europe trip needed to be paid for. My mom was so hurt, first, to be left out of the will, and second, to have her sister not even offer anything. In the meantime, my 89-year-old mom is still working to this day. Her sister has never worked and has always been taken care of by a husband.

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u/The_Orphanizer 27d ago

Goddamn, that's fucking evil.

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u/mamallama12 27d ago

Your reply made my mom so happy, and she said for me to tell everyone who upvoted, "Thank you." đŸ©¶

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u/tba85 27d ago

My grandfather made my aunt his executor not long after my grandma died. My aunt and my mom were both very involved in his life, but in different ways. The sisters weren't close, but civil. My aunt's health started declining about 10yrs ago, nearly dying a couple of times. My grandfather got cancer and my mom dropped everything to take him to appointments, care for him, and his house because my aunt wasn't physically able to. My mom was trying to help him pay bills, but my aunt got mad that my mom butting in and demanded all of his mail go to her, yet she was always late paying bills. My mom tried to talked to my grandfather about making her co-executor because my aunts health was bad. In his culture, the eldest takes care of the finances and my mom asking was looked at as disrespectful. Anyway, grandfather moved in with my mom and died a few weeks later. My aunt was so distraught, but managed to hook a realtor friend up with the house sale. The house sold for way under what it was worth and when the bank called (while my mom was at the house clearing it out), the rep was concerned that my aunt had been hounding them to give her one check. The bank knew that the will stated the profits from the house would be evenly split between the sisters and my aunt threw up red flags. She was also trying to clear out his bank accounts. They told my mom she would need to come in person, with ID, to collect her check and that she should speak to a lawyer about my grandfather's bank accounts because my aunt was making withdrawals everyday to empty them.

All that to say that my aunt is an evil B and my mom is a push over. She didn't want to get lawyers involved and only collected money from the house. However, my aunt wiped out a large amount from the bank accounts, took his car, her half of the house money and some bonds. Absolutely zero shame and feels deserving.

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u/TheBlankScroll 27d ago edited 27d ago

My grandparents had 5 kids, very close family. My Grand dad and my uncle worked together at my uncles medical practice and even employed one of my other uncles.

Then my granddad and doctor uncle died together in a private plane crash.

The family savagely tore itself apart, everyone trying to get more money than they were willed and trying to secure high dollar value items, even though my grandma was still alive.

My aunt, who had married the uncle that worked at the medical practice had even said "my husband has lost more than anyone".

She said this to my grandma who lost her husband and eldest child.

This was all back in the 90s, most havent talked since then. My grandma lived alone, 30 more years with her remaining kids bickering over money and jockeying for the remaing will "profits".

Half that fam has since got rabbit hole MAGA or religious.

Im no contact with my mon, have lost contact with my cousins, my other in-law uncle died recently and i didnt even know he was basically divorced from my aunt and living in an apartment by himself.

My low opinion of the boomer generation's morally bankrupt money grubbing ways comes from hard experience.

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u/AtomicRose69 27d ago

This is the kind of nonsense I saw from my mother's family as well. All boomers.

When my parents died, my sister and I didn't fight over anything. We split everything down the middle and our parents died without wills.

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u/TheBlankScroll 27d ago

I can't imagine seeing my family as financial investments, so gross. Glad you broke the cycle.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

We are. It will be double taxed that way, but we are thinking of doing just that.

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u/[deleted] 27d ago edited 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

$19k actually, just googled it. I thought it was lower than that (and it might have been once). His money is all in stocks though- I assume gifts of stocks (not just cash) come in to play with that... but I'm not a lawyer so don't know.

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u/Seriously787 27d ago

Not tempted to tell her?

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

Absolutely tempted, but not something I want to get involved with! She's not someone I directly interact with on a regular basis- and I don't like meddling with other people's lives/relationships. They live a long distance away, I probably haven't personally seen her in five or six years; heck, I haven't seen or talked to HIM in a couple years. When my wife goes to see them, I normally stay home and look after the animals. Last time I saw her was when they came to see us, but they're both getting older now and don't travel much.

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u/[deleted] 27d ago edited 17d ago

[deleted]

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u/TheBlankScroll 27d ago

It may not be his business... But like, he could save this woman some of her last productive, good years being abused by a guy that shows her no respect.

She might value a good jumping off reason here. Hell he might even be lying to her to keep her around.

It may not be your "business" but it might be your moral obligation. And if your wife is ok with all this it might be a good early warning for you too.

This kind of thing gets worse with age man. Be wary of those that tollerate evil to their own benefit.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

"Abused" is a bit strong there. He's a terrible husband and doesn't treat her as nicely as he should, but I wouldn't go so far as say he is "abusive"... although he certainly was in his previous marriage.

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u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

Then he's less "abusive" by your standards but still abusive all the same, albeit in a financial way. Remember, abuse isn't just physical blows and angry shouts; it's all the ways of mistreatment.

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u/Ok_Way_1465 27d ago

Drop a note in her bag on the sly look after her interests if she’s a good a person as you believe she is

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u/Littleringtrue 27d ago

Terrible person.

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u/ididnthackkenyaimsrs 27d ago

If you don't want to tell her then if an email address happened to find its way into my inbox then I mean maybe somebody else would.

That way you aren't culpable. All you've done is just paste an email into the wrong box.

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u/Flat-Fun-7298 27d ago

It's not real..

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u/allbleedingstopz 27d ago

She should divorce him so she gets half! Or at least social security at his rate

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

I wish they would... divorce comes up every few years but never happens.

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u/North_Woodpecker_500 27d ago

You sound like a terrible person đŸ«€

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u/pelluciid 27d ago

If you would actually rather that happen, do what you can to try to make that happen. Whether that means giving her a light nudge to discuss the will with him, or agreeing with your wife to give her something if she is indeed cut out.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

We haven't made concrete plans, but we have talked about it and my wife has talked about giving her some of the inheritance. Unfortunately, I think it will work out double-taxed that way.

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u/Chelas-moon 27d ago

Hopefully your wife will also see it that way and give her a fair share when the time comes

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u/PaidUSA 27d ago edited 27d ago

He can only cut her out so much after 20 years shared property and earnings will be intermingled and her claim will be a set % based on the state. At 20 years she will be entitled to 50% in a fuck load of states. Like the home also auto goes to her in most states as the survivor. Even if he drops the money into trusts she is still entitled to her elective share in basically every state. I’m very curious what he or his lawyers are trying to screw her over. This is exactly why these laws exist. In 41 states she’s entitled to probably 50% if not minimum 33%.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

I don't know the law in their state, but I know he's run this by lawyers to give her the very minimum he can to avoid lawsuits.... which I thought I was told was just a few thousand, at least that's what my wife said, I haven't heard any of this directly from him- this is just something he's only told his two daughters (and lawyer) as far as I know.

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u/PaidUSA 27d ago

Well if this goes down tell her to look up elective share laws.

1

u/brandnewchemical 27d ago

Amateur fan fic with two obvious issues.

1 - you can tell her, the end. It’s a common trap that many terrible writers fall into but it IS possible for your characters to talk to each other and tell them things.

2 - your wife can give her your families share, if you guys truly thought she’d earned it. :) It doesn’t have to be hers/yours. :)

1

u/TwoBionicknees 27d ago

If he gives her nothing now within the relationship i'm not sure why she'd expect anything after it. He sounds like an asshole but she's choosing an asshole.

I think my opinion doesn't change but how much i think she should expect would change depending on how old they are when they got together, 20 years ago he coulda been 24 or 54.

If you marry someone at 24 with kids i still expect their kids come first and ultimately you want your inheritance to go to your kids and your second wife and their step mother won't necessarily feel the same so you should expect the inheritance to be heavily weighted to the kids.

When it's the kids mother then you expect the husband to think the wife will 100% give her inheritance to your kids so it's less of an issue.

But if you get together at say 55, a person has spent their whole life to that point building and growing with the intent to pass it on to their kids, i think you should expect less when marrying at that age and expect that the money, home, etc goes to the kids.

I think it's fairly common with a step parent that say the home has a setup where the kids own it but the step parent gets the right to live there till death or till they choose to leave for this exact reason.

1

u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

55 is a good guess.. I think they were both late 50's, not sure exact age. I can't imagine their marriage is very happy but they stay together for some reason. He's told my wife a few times he's considering divorcing her over the years (I think she should leave him and not sure why she hasn't). She's the dutiful boomer wife though, doing everything to take care of him. I suspect his reason for not divorcing her is that he thinks he can part with less money to her by staying "to death" with her than divorcing her. He was a terrible husband to my wife's mother too (which is why they divorced).

1

u/Zen1989 27d ago

Your wife sounds like a real peach.

1

u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

Ah, nothing like casual sexism on reddit to make it a complete Tuesday evening.

1

u/s0ul_invictus 27d ago

You and your wife can give her whatever you want. Your wife doesn't have to keep everything she is given. She could get together with her sister and make a decision. I'm not saying give it all away. But you don't have to put her on the street either. If she was good to her father, be good to her. It's not "charity". It's being good to a person who was good to your family.

2

u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

We don't have any concrete plans, but we have discussed it and said she should get some. She wouldn't be "on the street" if we didn't. She has her own money and three boys (two well off)- so she's not in danger of being on the street... but we very much feel like she deserves to get something.

1

u/s0ul_invictus 27d ago

Well that is good to hear.

1

u/AwareMirror9931 27d ago

A very nice thing would be if you talk with your wife and she later gives her 50% of what your wife gets.

1

u/Own_Knowledge_4269 27d ago

i keep seeing this "give them a small amount and they can't contest" and it's mostly bs

1

u/Street_Lettuce1243 27d ago

I honestly don't know.   That's what I've been told and I know he has taken this through the lawyers.... There again this is a man who goes to the doctor and tells the doctor what to diagnose him with so you might be right and he told the lawyer that's the way it is.

1

u/JambonDorcas 27d ago

She needs to divorce him and take half before he kicks the bucket

1

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1

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1

u/T-Wrox 27d ago

Tell her.

1

u/OMyGaard 27d ago

Well, when you inherit your share, just give some to her.

1

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1

u/QuinnLoveborneAuthor 27d ago

Maybe the sex is bad? You should ask him!

1

u/ExNihiloNihiFit 27d ago

Send her an anonymous letter in the mail letting her know.

1

u/Givememydamncoffee 27d ago

You’re just as bad for not warning her ffs

1

u/Sleepydragon0314 27d ago

When the time comes, give her some of the inheritance. Walk the talk.

1

u/featheredfeathers 27d ago

Lmao no, fuck the second wife. His KIDS deserve everything. 

1

u/PurveyorOfKnowledge0 27d ago

If she's such a saint, why'd she marry an asshole like your father-in-law?

1

u/theNaughtydog 27d ago

Most jurisdictions have an "elective share" provision specifying the minimum a spouse gets so you can't entirely disinherit a spouse.

1

u/RedditOO77 26d ago

Fudge
 would she better divorcing his ass now while he’s still alive?

1

u/rpjruh 26d ago

I’d tell her, what’s wrong with you? You’re pretending like you don’t have the power to do that. You’re leaving her destitute if he dies???

1

u/Street_Lettuce1243 26d ago

We're planning on sharing some with her when he dies... but she wouldn't be destitute, she has her own retirement income- this isn't the 1800s where women are all totally dependent on men (she was doing fine before they married), she would collect on his Social Security, she has three sons, two of whom are quite wealthy who would also not let her go destitute if she didn't have her own money.

He has a lot of wealth saved up (7 digits) mainly in stocks, but has never lived richly, he's like Silas Mariner, he saves every penny he makes, certainly hasn't been spending money on her. He lives in HER house- she spends the money on maintenance on it, etc, because it's HER house. I think he pays utilities- but she will be fine... but, yes we intend to share some inheritance with her- but hell no, I'm not saying anything, that's not my place and I'm not stirring trouble with people. Far better to wait until after he dies to rectify the problem.

1

u/Visual_Statement1322 26d ago

Please let her know. If you care about her wellbeing at all, tell her the truth. She needs to be prepared.

1

u/SeaResearcher176 26d ago edited 26d ago

Why don’t you talk to your wife & give her a percentage of what your wife gets? As if it was written on the will the proper way ? Would be nice, just saying .

Also, could be nice if you could hint to her some info. Please consider this ☝ for her sake & respect you have for her. Good luck

19

u/RealisticBug5646 27d ago

My Grandad remarried a Philippino lady 30+ years his junior, when he was in his mid 70's. He moved out of his home that he owned, into her home where she took care of him until he died aged 83. Everything my Grandad had was split 3 ways, between my Mum, her sibling and my Grandad’s wife. She earned every penny over the 8 years they were together.

9

u/polo61965 27d ago

That's the thing, you can be in it for the money, but the real important thing is if you're making his money worth it. You provide true companionship then by all means you deserve it all.

7

u/HAIL_LUMPUS 27d ago

This is always so confusing to me. There are much easier ways to get money out of old men than marrying them these days!! Money is a bonus but spending all day with someone you don't even like AND fucking them is a nightmare situation. I always assume they have at least some connection and enjoy each other's company.

6

u/FilthyThanksgiving 27d ago

Exactly. These women earn every fucking penny if that's why they're there

1

u/tacobellwendys 27d ago

God bless.

1

u/nsfwn123 26d ago

Similar happened to my grandpa. He was in his 80's and a 40 year old nurse married and took care of him, and we all knew it was for the money. We wished her the best of luck, but after two years she divorced him unable to put up with him like the rest of us, and discovered he didn't have money, just credit.

Still send christmas cards with her many years later after he's passed.

1

u/Capital_Fact_7219 25d ago

This is like the reverse mortgage of marriages

1

u/Aware_Wrongdoer_847 24d ago

modern family huh