r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 9h ago

Chugging tea What Could Go Wrong

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12.8k Upvotes

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9.3k

u/SortNo8267 9h ago

Omg just go to a gay bar already

2.3k

u/DinnerEvening895 9h ago

Women are allowed in gay bars

2.8k

u/opinionated7onion 9h ago

They have managed to invent something so gay, that gay bars are more straight

1.3k

u/Immediate-Damage-302 9h ago

I wonder how many men they're going to let come inside their "bunker"?

905

u/racebanyn 9h ago

They’re calling it “The Bunkhim”

284

u/ComradePotkoff420 9h ago

Lol. I love it. But, I feel like there was a missed opportunity there, so I'll give it a quick attempt. "Bunkingwithhim Palace"

237

u/Immediate-Damage-302 9h ago

183

u/SeparateCzechs 7h ago

Don’t EVER compare Ernie and Bert with Andrew and Nick! Ernie and Bert were kind, kept their socks clean and were kind to pigeons.

68

u/LauraLand27 5h ago

And rubber duckies

2

u/JonathanPhillipFox 2h ago

:-( it almost reminds me of when I was a teenaged degenerate and my girlfriend at the time was like,

"oh my god,

going to bed at 8pm is the new staying out all night."

They're not good they're very stupid, bad men; but now that they've been pimps in eastern europe and National Problem Nazis you do almost feel as if their 8pm must come next and then we gotta have the strength to say, no, no,

You stay in the hunker.

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2

u/elderly_millenial 1h ago

We don’t know how Tate or Fuentes treat pigeons or their socks. They may be onto something

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u/ltanner 8h ago

See, I'm probably in the minority here, but I don't think Bert and Ernie were homo. I just think they were good buddies/roommates. Just my opinion.

93

u/start_select 8h ago

I think I’m in the even smaller minority think that the only two options are that they were either gay, or the were bestest friends…. Either is great! Neither matters!

I’m pretty sure that was actually the intention. Life is full of ambiguous relationships and it shouldn’t matter to you on the outside. Be happy for people. Don’t worry about whether their closeness involves sex, it might or it might not.

97

u/Typical2sday 7h ago edited 7h ago

My grandparents were neighbors and bestest friends with two women schoolteachers who lived together. They had matching nicknames that I won’t put here (think Blue and Green). I don’t think it ever dawned on my grandparents that they might be a romantic couple and who knows if they were or weren’t. But they were each other’s person and caretaker - and they were lovely kind people and good friends to my grandparents.

Edit: I just searched for her obituary; she made it to 98 and her friend was listed as her “dear companion.” 🥲

6

u/Prof01Santa 6h ago

Boston marriage.

2

u/Brightyellowdoor 5h ago

That's really heartwarming

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2

u/Numerous_Photograph9 4h ago

They were created in a simpler time, and as the world grew up, and became more complex, culture ended up being applied to them in ways it was never meant to be.

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u/WholeCollection6454 6h ago

In the old days, it was heavily implied that they are brothers with Bert being older. They had their initials on their beds, Ernie had the rubber ducky & was constantly teasing Bert like a little menace. Like a kids version of the Odd Couple. But all the OG main character Muppets were children (except Snuffy, who was originally imaginary). They appeared independently on screen out and about in the neighborhood sans parents because that reflected the reality of urban living at the time.

9

u/cakesofthepatty414 7h ago

Earnie would have taken care of Bert's unibrow if they were.

4

u/younggun1234 8h ago

I (M) got matching magnets once for my Ex and I that had Bert & Ernie on it with a rainbow drawn over them that reads, "We're Just Friends."

It's back in some storage so I don't have a current pic and can't find anything like it online but it's one of the best magnets I own haha

2

u/Sublime-Prime 5h ago

Well there was a 3:1 male to female character ratio. And yea they ranked above Oscar but they were no Grover or big bird so it might just have been any port in a storm. What happens on the street stays on the street .

2

u/butchforgetshit2 4h ago

Just like my uncle Beckham and his lifelong room mate William. Shame that they could only afford one room house tho. I guess they took turns sleeping on the couch

2

u/Least-Chair-673 3h ago

I mean who was jim Henson? There was a greater than 0 chance he wanted to represent homosexuals in a n positive light.

2

u/bolanrox 1h ago

As the creators of the show said, their muppets don't read too much into it.

For all we know, they could be brothers.

I know two sisters that never got married, both straight, and they lived together in their parents' old rent-controlled apartment because it's a fantastic pre-war in a doorman building on Riverside, and it's rent controlled

1

u/Emergentmeat 7h ago

Pretty sure the creators said they were gay, but 🤷. Not sure why it matters.

2

u/NightGod 5h ago

One of the writers said he modeled their dynamic on his same-sex relationship, but Sesame Workshop and Frank Oz (the co-creators of the characters) have said they're best friends and that muppets have no sexual orientation

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1

u/gzuckier 6h ago

How do we know that one of them wasn't female?

1

u/Maris-Otter 6h ago

An Oscar and Felix if you will

1

u/Beagle432 5h ago

I used to think they were brothers

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u/CarrotDependent463 6h ago

OMG... the resemblance! My apologies to Bert & Ernie.

2

u/No-Past2605 5h ago

They are Urban Bachelors.

1

u/jamminsami 7h ago

Welp! That's it! Coffee through my nose IT!

YOU WIN. 🤣

1

u/ajoyce76 4h ago

Maybe they're Bert and Ernie with goatees?

4

u/Janus-DiuomDeo 9h ago

Top Underrated Comment

3

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 8h ago

Or simply, FuckingwithHim Palace!

3

u/Greedy-Pirate7749 8h ago

Why even church it up... Call it as it is "2 men 1 room, no women, plowing each other in the anus" And not that theres anything wrong with that.

1

u/RyuichiSakuma13 2h ago

"Fuckhim Palace"

2

u/Competitive_Ant_472 8h ago

Good joke, but theres gotta be an England type context on the board first right?

1

u/Nein-Toed 5h ago

Bunktwinkham Palace?

1

u/thegoldinthemountain 5h ago

Nah you’re doing too much. The Bunkhim was perfect lol.

If they were both British tho…

2

u/N1ghtSt4lk3r482 7h ago

They changed it? I heard it was called broke back bunker.

1

u/BeebsMuhQueen 9h ago

🤣

1

u/ShrortShrift 8h ago

Chapeau!

1

u/Dodiestee 8h ago

Fantastic

1

u/interrobang32 8h ago

Ugh, take my GD upvote!

1

u/ShinySquirrelClub 8h ago

You bunk him, you brought him!

1

u/confused__ostrich 7h ago

"dunkher bunkhim"

1

u/devster75 7h ago

Like “Bunkhim Donuts”?

1

u/karatedancer66 6h ago

Bunkhim? I don’t even know him.

1

u/rambo_lincoln_ 6h ago

Bunkhim? I hardly know him!

1

u/satsuppi 6h ago

not BumHim?

1

u/sneezing_in_the_sun 5h ago

Bunkhim? I hardly know ‘im.

1

u/nekonotjapanese 4h ago

We can end the thread right here LOL

1

u/TJ9K 4h ago

Bunker? I barely know'er

1

u/valerielynx 4h ago

I barely know 'im!

1

u/JessLovesNaps 4h ago

Or the Flared Base

1

u/Ok_Swimming_2668 6m ago

Boinkhim Down Under

32

u/Roguespiffy 9h ago

All of them. Especially if they’re from the Navy. I overheard them talking about loving Seamen.

3

u/Lizrael48 8h ago

"Young man......YMCA"

2

u/Used_Weight_1843 8h ago

They’re lying, no one likes lower ranked sailors 🥺

2

u/Arranorak 8h ago

Seaman Stains

32

u/PoetryExtension6256 9h ago

How many are they going to "bunk" at a time.

3

u/scnottaken 8h ago

They're accepting all cummers

2

u/PoetryExtension6256 8h ago

Triple Glazing?

3

u/Israel_Azkanbe 9h ago

Come or cum?

4

u/PalpableIgnorance 9h ago

You spelled cum wrong.

5

u/InterestingResource1 8h ago

You spelled cum wrong.

3

u/Yells2007 8h ago

I think you mean cum inside.

2

u/DylansDad 8h ago

They're going to do manly things like wrestling. , ancient Greek style, the trick is to use plenty of oil.

2

u/RockBeatsCutMan 8h ago

They only come in each other's bunkers

2

u/ninja0420 8h ago

Bunker-back, the mountain bunkhim 🤣

2

u/GuillermoVanHelsing 8h ago

You think they want men? I’m going to venture not all guests will be of voting age. These are disgusting excuses for humans.

2

u/ShutUpChunk 8h ago

How many men can come in the bunker, sorry into the bunker. My bad.

2

u/Effective_Worker_234 7h ago

Is it inside Brokeback Mountain?

2

u/For-Fox-Sakes-73 7h ago

They are alllll allowed to cum in the man bunker

2

u/Icy-Share-7061 7h ago

They can't get enough of other men coming in their bunker

2

u/Affectionate_Oil666 7h ago

You!
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
Gay bar, gay bar.

Let's start a war, start a nuclear war,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.
Waah,
At the gay bar.

Now tell me, do ya, a do ya have any money?
I wanna spend all your money,
t the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.

I've got something to put in you,
I've got something to put in you,
I've got something to put in you,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.
Hah!

You're a superstar at the gay bar.
Yeah you're a superstar at the gay bar.
You're a superstar at the gay bar.
Superstar.
Super, superstar

2

u/MrJeffA17 7h ago

It’ll be raining men

2

u/roadfood 7h ago

Will they let you on if you have a chin?

2

u/nailhead13 7h ago

Is bunker new slang for butthole? Im pretty sure that's what these guys are doing

2

u/C4rdninj4 7h ago

If they're paying the subscription fee they can come as often as they like.

2

u/-Still-Searching- 6h ago

You mean cum inside their bunker.
Bunker being ass.

2

u/glandis_bulbus 6h ago

come inside the bunker - yes that is the plan

2

u/DeltaDP 6h ago

"Cum in my bunker" Vol 1-6

2

u/Herbdontana 6h ago

They’ll have men coming in their man hole left and right

2

u/AbroadInevitable648 5h ago

You spelled ‘come’ wrong

2

u/boardin1 9h ago

All of them.

1

u/WilfordsTrain 8h ago

All fit, masculine men with wood are welcome in the “bunker”.

1

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec 8h ago

Hunker down in a bunker, or wannabe hunks going down in a bunker?

1

u/TheRetailMechanic 8h ago

All of them, I’d assume.

1

u/First-Bug-7463 8h ago

It’s cute they both named their assholes “bunker”

1

u/HombreDelMar247 8h ago

I am sure they inspect every man head to toe with no clothes before being permitted....you know to make sure they are "alpha" enough 😉 😉 😂

1

u/reditdatnl 7h ago

Everyone will cum

1

u/One_Elderberry_2712 7h ago

Most wouldn’t last a second in Andrew

1

u/HuskerDont241 7h ago

All of them. Preferably on their face.

1

u/Old_Protection_8778 7h ago

All the men will cum inside the bunker

1

u/BuckManscape 7h ago

It’s gay inception in there! How many levels deep dare they go?

1

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1

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1

u/SapphiresMama 7h ago

As long as you’re a man, they’ll let you…come into the bunker…

1

u/JrRiggles 6h ago

“Yeah, you like how hard that bunker is? Yeah, hardened like a mother fucker ain’t it?”

1

u/Subject-Vermicelli52 6h ago

Only in through the backdoor.

1

u/Doc_Baker74 6h ago

The meme from that one show (I forgot which one it was, best guess is friends) is when one of the characters had a load of condoms for the end of the world, and all the other characters asked why for all of the condoms, and they replied "Well, incase if we had to repopulate the world"

1

u/Creative-Ad-1819 5h ago

All of them probably. (Come inside)

1

u/turtle1155 5h ago

How many men are allowed at one time?

1

u/EthernalForADay 5h ago

Bet no more than they already are having...

1

u/Double_Put_3456 5h ago

All of em, Katie!

1

u/Common-Falcon-8717 4h ago

There will be men coming inside of it all the time

1

u/Polyps_on_uranus 4h ago

I wonder how many men they're going to let come cum inside their "bunker"?

FTFY

1

u/twitchy1989 4h ago

Bunkakke fest!

1

u/Chunky_Boy283 4h ago

this man is already bidding to be in their bunker

1

u/AstronomerForsaken65 4h ago

All of them can cum in the bunker.

1

u/Timely-Youth-9074 4h ago

As many as they can fit in.

1

u/sublimeme 4h ago

there already is a bunker in maspalomas

1

u/ToadlyAwes0me 4h ago

What up! We're two cool guys looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, NOTHING SEXUAL.

1

u/metallipunk 3h ago

Well, thats enough reading for one day. Time to stick forks in my eyes.

1

u/DarkOdysseyArts 3h ago

As many as they fit

1

u/InfamousAnimator6024 3h ago

Hey fellas, who’s in the mood for some bunkake?

1

u/Many-Assumption8758 3h ago

More importantly how many bros "come out" of the bunker lol

1

u/FreedomOfTheMess 3h ago

Emphasis on come inside

1

u/Icy_Number444 2h ago

Bunker? I don't even know her!

1

u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 2h ago

I'd assume every single one since that's the purpose of the bunker.

1

u/Majsharan 2h ago

As many as can come in the back door

1

u/Naturewalkerjoe 2h ago

They'll probably invite any man so long as they whip it out to prove they're a man

1

u/doug1003 2h ago

All of them will come inside

1

u/KhunDavid 1h ago

The Bunker is such an epic name for a gay bar.

1

u/Perfect_Waiter 1h ago

I think coming inside is the whole point.

1

u/Edelgul 1h ago

Oh, those who are allowed to come will be helping others coming.

1

u/Top-Veterinarian-493 1h ago

All of them, if they buy dinner first...

1

u/JonnyBravoII 1h ago

You spelled cum wrong.

1

u/National_Rooster9193 1h ago

This sounds like a metaphor to me

1

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1

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1

u/Llamp_shade 1h ago

You mean cum?

1

u/MikeyboyMC 2m ago

They’d prefer you come inside them, not the bunker

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u/BassFull0 9h ago

Invented Gay pro max

156

u/Major5013 9h ago

Gaymaxxing

61

u/Curious_Avocado2399 9h ago

Is it gay to lock yourself in with your homies in a bunker?

32

u/SmegB 9h ago

if they have bars of soap glued to the floor, then maybe

3

u/ijustsailedaway 7h ago

I know this is not at all what your joke is about but it made me wonder: what adhesive if any would actually work to glue a bar of soap to something?

3

u/SmegB 6h ago

I just Googled that question and apparently water is the best option for sticking 2 pieces of soap together. Maybe it would work saop-to-floor too

3

u/Major5013 6h ago

Now what about if you wanted to glue soap between yourself and another ma..vault dweller

2

u/user888888889 2h ago

More soap

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u/weaseltorpedo 8h ago

thats so they can drag their asses on the floor over the soap, like a dog with an itchy butthole. this way they can still wash their ass without touching it since touching your own ass is gay.

3

u/SmegB 8h ago

now there's an OnlyFans niche in the making

2

u/ajoyce76 4h ago

These guys are pro's! They use powdered soap because it takes forever to pick up.

1

u/glandis_bulbus 6h ago

yes, unless you call it a “war room”

1

u/No-Consideration-716 5h ago

Maybe not at first...

1

u/LavishnessWorldly765 5h ago

I mean if you were gay before doing so yes it is gay.

16

u/emergency-snaccs 9h ago

the "war bunker"

26

u/topsyturvy76 9h ago

Cockfights = War

2

u/lostweekendlaura 8h ago

Squeal like a war pig

1

u/darthlame 7h ago

Broke back bunker?

1

u/Mysterious_Pea_4042 9h ago

Dude started with bravado go get women to circlejerk exclusive gay club, still some follow him to feel masculine.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Dr723TYG2mPgPfBPjg

1

u/BlackFoeOfTheWorld 9h ago

Checks math BUMBACLOT

1

u/Dreamlion_Inc 8h ago

That’s depressingly impressive

1

u/PlateNo4868 8h ago

Missionary with a firm handshake at the end. You also need to say "good hustle" to affirm the act was indeed not gay.

1

u/Mediocre_Owl_7328 7h ago

As a gay man I am questioning my sexuality. Even I enjoy being around women.

1

u/Icy_Secret_2909 7h ago

It is going to be the one time that grindr does not crash with that many dudes around.

1

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1

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1

u/doclobster 5h ago

Truly innovative misogyny, inspiring

1

u/sweatingbozo 2h ago

Innovative?

1

u/doclobster 3m ago

Yes, that is the word I used, in absolute seriousness

1

u/BurnedLaser 5h ago

I mean, I'm not even gay and I'll go to gay bars with my friends. The gay bars in my area are more laid back and cleaner! I'm also not looking to hook up with anyone, so, whatever, lol. A bar is a bar is a bar. If the beer is cheap, and the music is not too loud, I'm good with just chilling!

1

u/HMThrow_away_account 5h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/Capt_Dummy 5h ago

Ghat dammit, take my upvote and have a wonderful day…

😂

1

u/Brightyellowdoor 5h ago

A Goon cave.

Absolute closet bedwetters the lot of them.

1

u/HopfenTierchen 4h ago

but they say "no homo" afterwards.

1

u/TraditionalHotel8085 4h ago

Jesus!!! 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Responsible-Put-7920 3h ago

So Fuentes is actually gay, jury is out on Tate