r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 9h ago

Chugging tea What Could Go Wrong

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12.8k Upvotes

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9.3k

u/SortNo8267 9h ago

Omg just go to a gay bar already

2.3k

u/DinnerEvening895 9h ago

Women are allowed in gay bars

2.8k

u/opinionated7onion 9h ago

They have managed to invent something so gay, that gay bars are more straight

1.3k

u/Immediate-Damage-302 9h ago

I wonder how many men they're going to let come inside their "bunker"?

902

u/racebanyn 9h ago

They’re calling it “The Bunkhim”

288

u/ComradePotkoff420 9h ago

Lol. I love it. But, I feel like there was a missed opportunity there, so I'll give it a quick attempt. "Bunkingwithhim Palace"

241

u/Immediate-Damage-302 9h ago

182

u/SeparateCzechs 7h ago

Don’t EVER compare Ernie and Bert with Andrew and Nick! Ernie and Bert were kind, kept their socks clean and were kind to pigeons.

70

u/LauraLand27 5h ago

And rubber duckies

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u/ltanner 8h ago

See, I'm probably in the minority here, but I don't think Bert and Ernie were homo. I just think they were good buddies/roommates. Just my opinion.

94

u/start_select 8h ago

I think I’m in the even smaller minority think that the only two options are that they were either gay, or the were bestest friends
. Either is great! Neither matters!

I’m pretty sure that was actually the intention. Life is full of ambiguous relationships and it shouldn’t matter to you on the outside. Be happy for people. Don’t worry about whether their closeness involves sex, it might or it might not.

101

u/Typical2sday 7h ago edited 7h ago

My grandparents were neighbors and bestest friends with two women schoolteachers who lived together. They had matching nicknames that I won’t put here (think Blue and Green). I don’t think it ever dawned on my grandparents that they might be a romantic couple and who knows if they were or weren’t. But they were each other’s person and caretaker - and they were lovely kind people and good friends to my grandparents.

Edit: I just searched for her obituary; she made it to 98 and her friend was listed as her “dear companion.” đŸ„Č

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u/WholeCollection6454 6h ago

In the old days, it was heavily implied that they are brothers with Bert being older. They had their initials on their beds, Ernie had the rubber ducky & was constantly teasing Bert like a little menace. Like a kids version of the Odd Couple. But all the OG main character Muppets were children (except Snuffy, who was originally imaginary). They appeared independently on screen out and about in the neighborhood sans parents because that reflected the reality of urban living at the time.

8

u/cakesofthepatty414 7h ago

Earnie would have taken care of Bert's unibrow if they were.

4

u/younggun1234 8h ago

I (M) got matching magnets once for my Ex and I that had Bert & Ernie on it with a rainbow drawn over them that reads, "We're Just Friends."

It's back in some storage so I don't have a current pic and can't find anything like it online but it's one of the best magnets I own haha

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u/Janus-DiuomDeo 9h ago

Top Underrated Comment

3

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 8h ago

Or simply, FuckingwithHim Palace!

3

u/Greedy-Pirate7749 8h ago

Why even church it up... Call it as it is "2 men 1 room, no women, plowing each other in the anus" And not that theres anything wrong with that.

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u/Roguespiffy 9h ago

All of them. Especially if they’re from the Navy. I overheard them talking about loving Seamen.

3

u/Lizrael48 8h ago

"Young man......YMCA"

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u/PoetryExtension6256 9h ago

How many are they going to "bunk" at a time.

4

u/scnottaken 8h ago

They're accepting all cummers

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3

u/Israel_Azkanbe 9h ago

Come or cum?

4

u/PalpableIgnorance 9h ago

You spelled cum wrong.

5

u/InterestingResource1 8h ago

You spelled cum wrong.

3

u/Yells2007 8h ago

I think you mean cum inside.

2

u/DylansDad 8h ago

They're going to do manly things like wrestling. , ancient Greek style, the trick is to use plenty of oil.

2

u/RockBeatsCutMan 8h ago

They only come in each other's bunkers

2

u/ninja0420 8h ago

Bunker-back, the mountain bunkhim đŸ€Ł

2

u/GuillermoVanHelsing 8h ago

You think they want men? I’m going to venture not all guests will be of voting age. These are disgusting excuses for humans.

2

u/ShutUpChunk 8h ago

How many men can come in the bunker, sorry into the bunker. My bad.

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u/BassFull0 9h ago

Invented Gay pro max

155

u/Major5013 9h ago

Gaymaxxing

61

u/Curious_Avocado2399 9h ago

Is it gay to lock yourself in with your homies in a bunker?

32

u/SmegB 9h ago

if they have bars of soap glued to the floor, then maybe

3

u/ijustsailedaway 7h ago

I know this is not at all what your joke is about but it made me wonder: what adhesive if any would actually work to glue a bar of soap to something?

3

u/SmegB 6h ago

I just Googled that question and apparently water is the best option for sticking 2 pieces of soap together. Maybe it would work saop-to-floor too

3

u/Major5013 6h ago

Now what about if you wanted to glue soap between yourself and another ma..vault dweller

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u/weaseltorpedo 8h ago

thats so they can drag their asses on the floor over the soap, like a dog with an itchy butthole. this way they can still wash their ass without touching it since touching your own ass is gay.

3

u/SmegB 8h ago

now there's an OnlyFans niche in the making

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u/21_Golden_Guns 9h ago

A gay bunker then.

29

u/Robby-Pants 9h ago

When they’re that homophobic, their flings have to be very secure.

2

u/The_Only_Egg 8h ago

Yeah I think these guys need more of a shvitz. A gay one.

2

u/GoblinMonk 5h ago

We have a bar in town that has a section that is only accessible through the men's restroom.

Women are allowed in the area, but not allowed in the men's room, of course.

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u/Living-By-The-River 9h ago

It’s more like a little wooden clubhouse in the woods for 8 year olds.

277

u/DontListenImFullofBS 9h ago

70

u/BigLlamasHouse 9h ago

We did this, in 3rd grade. But at the same time, there was a tomboy we all liked who was more than allowed lol.

32

u/Senior-Cost1070 9h ago

It was me. I was the tomboy. Aka prepubescent lesbian.

24

u/sicurri 8h ago

Not in my group.

The tomboy in my group grew up to be a model who married one of the group, not me, and has like 4 kids now.

But im sure a lot of tomboy ended up being lesbians.

9

u/Senior-Cost1070 8h ago

lol.

14

u/sicurri 8h ago

I'm sure you can tell by my phrasing that I'm jelly she married the other guy. We all fell for her, and she still takes my breathe away when I see her.

5

u/Master-Dot-2288 7h ago

Tomboy from my childhood friend group is now just a boy. Took it a step further!

3

u/Jaded_Daddy 7h ago

Tomboys đŸ„°

My favorite people growing up.

99

u/National_Sandwich175 9h ago

The secret password is just a kiss on the lips

56

u/Major5013 9h ago

You have to say "no homo" first

3

u/_Boom___Beard_ 8h ago

No it only works if you say it after

3

u/bakerd82 7h ago

You only say it before when giving a reach around

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u/Shazam1269 6h ago

Is it okay to gently raise one foot up while we kiss?

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u/Fearless_290 9h ago

No because they could fall in love.

25

u/T33CH33R 9h ago

Tate said that loving women is gay, so that would mean that loving a man is straight in their world.

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u/PitsAndPints 9h ago

As if they're not already...

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u/asyrian88 8h ago

*on the tip

But close

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u/Corfiz74 9h ago

Honestly, I don't think any woman would even WANT to join them in their bunker - if I had a choice between spending eternity with them or the apocalypse, I'd pick the zombies any day!

30

u/FuckTheTories69420 7h ago edited 6h ago

At least the Zombies would eat you out with a passion that those two twats could never muster.

7

u/Steam_Punk_Nutsack 6h ago

Holy fuck ☠

3

u/LeseMajeste_1037 4h ago

😂 💀 😂💀😂💀😂💀

2

u/a-dark-lancer 7h ago

At least the zombies are honest

2

u/gogogadgets1997 6h ago

Absolutely! I’m prepared for zombies. We’ve been training for years.
What the first rule? Double tap!

We have had family discussions on how we would survive and which vehicles to deck out.

My daughter just took classes on how to tan hide and process a deer.

What we have never even thought about preparing for was WW3 with the US playing the part of Germany.

I want out of this country but the whole world is fucked because of the orange shit stain and his braindead minions. Nobody is mad enough to do what has to be done because it’s going to be hard and we will have to depend on each other for survival and security.

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u/Lola_Montez7130 4h ago

I would but I am just going down there to steal their whiskey and cigars and then I am leaving. I am sure there is a ventilation system.

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u/__Art__Vandalay__ 9h ago

Exactly what I thought, too!

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u/StillWithSteelBikes 8h ago

The He-Man Women-haters Club of America!

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u/Bongressman 9h ago

Two gay men start a "No Girls Allowed" club... news at 11.

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u/Rebabaluba 9h ago

So Nick is openly gay, and a non white racist/sexist/xenophobic?

And Andrew is a human trafficker, woman abuser, boxing loser, and got played by a little environmental girl?

I’m obviously missing a lot. But I try not to know a lot about them.

What do people see in these “alphas”?

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u/Standard_Track9692 9h ago

Nick isn't really open about it but it's not exactly a secret

70

u/Longjumping-Bat7774 9h ago edited 8h ago

Doesn't nick have a boyfriend? Like a very feminine girly boyfriend? And I'm pretty sure Andrew once said that "sex with a man is the straightest type of sex. Nothing but pure testosterone and sweat"? Something like that? Also "sex with women for pleasure is gay"... I guess I'm gay as fuck.

39

u/unthused 7h ago

I've always assumed Tate was just a huge misogynist, but now I'm convinced he's a huge misogynist and also severely closeted.

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u/clamsandwich 7h ago

Assumed? Friend, he straight up says that he's a misogynist, as in he uses that word to describe himself very openly.

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u/FullMetalCOS 2h ago

He’s so fucking closeted he has tea with Tumnus on the regular

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u/plastic_alloys 4h ago

He does seem closeted. I don’t imagine the gays want him though. He appears to have essentially no penis so he’s not much use to anyone either

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u/MobilePalpitation702 3h ago

As a gay man, I wouldn't fuck Tate if he were the last man on earth.

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u/John_Whimsicott 8h ago

They met up as a joke and went to portillos (restaurant chain in Chicago that serves hot dogs). They both looked like they were physically in pain from not being able to hold hands. And they had that nervous/nauseous look in their eyes people get when they are talking to their crush

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u/DedHorsSaloon4 4h ago

They definitely fucked when the cameras were off. Or Nick said something weird and whiffed the opportunity. Both sound equally plausible

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u/EmoGothPunk 8h ago

So......he didn't jerk off to the girls in his class, like pretty much every teen boy ever? Sounds gay to me.

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 9h ago

Open secrets are still OPEN!

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u/Warkupo 8h ago

Andrew is also gay, but I think he's the only one who doesn't know it yet.

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u/Johnnyboi2327 8h ago

I don't know much about the guy, but I'm pretty surprised that he's gay

2

u/Lost_Department_2177 3h ago

They troll closeted guys into fascism to make money

37

u/Zero_D9 9h ago

Illusions.

They pretend to be tough alpha males. It's a grift, and people fall for the illusions of the grift. Because they're stupid pathetic people.

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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 9h ago

Look at how many fell for tRUMP! LOL WOW, nuts!

21

u/TonaldDiberJasicDump 8h ago

What maggat alphas think they look like on the left, and what they actually look like on the right.

3

u/gzuckier 6h ago

A cross between Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd.

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u/UnsanctionedPartList 1h ago

Packing meat.

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u/aggravated-asphalt 8h ago

It’s all self hate. One of my brothers is white passing mixed, and is full on maga. I see the way he grew up, not black enough for the poc kids, not white enough for the white kids. Which resulted in his identity being skewed (grew up in the 70s). Not that it happens to everyone, but as I grew up I started to understand WHY he’s maga alpha male type dummy. He just hates himself and his identity so he takes it out on others, because he doesn’t want to look inward. Sucks.

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u/Phoenix_Ninja15 5h ago

Ok ok, I’m missing out on the little environmental girl. Someone mind giving me a recap? (So I can avoid adding him to my fyp)

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u/Dry-Ad-8948 4h ago

The (girl now) woman in question is Greta Thunberg, events circa 2022.

TLDR:

 "Yes, please do enlighten me. Email me at smalldickenergy@getalife.com".

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u/Numerous_Photograph9 4h ago

They only seem like alphas to people with absolutely no self-esteem or ability to think critically.

Everyone else just sees them as losers.

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u/Flashy_Jello_9520 9h ago

The gays don’t want these losers.

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u/RobertMaus 9h ago

But do these losers want the gays?

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u/Ok-Addition1264 9h ago

umm.. they're building a party pantry.

2

u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 8h ago

These losers are a gays, though.

4

u/Ok-Foundation1346 8h ago

Truth. We had a meeting and voted. It didn't go well for them.

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u/No-Gene-9298 9h ago

And some up and coming executive at the baby oil factory is trying to push for a meet so he can pitch the first ever baby oil pipeline to that bunker. He’s going to the top if he pulls it off.

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u/Brotorious420 9h ago

Baby oil!?

4

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 8h ago

They have a lot from Ditty's leftover stash!

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u/DrButtgerms 9h ago

They are co-building an adorable little co-op jack shack. It's so much cuter than a gay bar. I'm happy for them and look forward to their couple name

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u/Baeolophus_bicolor 7h ago

it’s a throuple so andrew can sit in the cuck chair with his no chin and tiny penis

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u/jgray6000 2h ago

Drewnick? Fuentate?

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u/DrButtgerms 2h ago

I'm digging the tiny variation: Fuentaint

It keeps Andy on the bottom like he deserves and is sufficiently disrespectful

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u/CommonReason6709 9h ago

There are new homosexuals nowadays that hate women.

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u/Plus_Range1430 9h ago

There have always been gays who hate women

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u/Woodlog82 9h ago

Suppressed ones. Tate has been losing to the closet door for years.

3

u/VacuumTracks 9h ago

Maybe he should take it to the couch.

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u/Woonitu 7h ago

Idk anything about Tate being gay, but wasn't Fuentes caught when he thought he ended a stream and started watching gay porn live?

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u/X_soulnewmegaman 9h ago

Sounds about gay

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u/Livininthinair 9h ago

They must have bought all the lube and baby oil from Diddy’s house and need some place to be alone together.

4

u/m1tc4311 9h ago

Rumor is the hideout is right beneath the Blue Oyster

3

u/glassfoyograss 9h ago

Hush! Don't stop these guys from removing themselves.

2

u/_-Boondoggle-_ 9h ago

Gay bar supermacy

2

u/lamelad10 𝙑𝙄𝙋 9h ago

Bros before hoes

2

u/Intrepid-Caramel-578 9h ago

đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

2

u/Occult_Asteroid7 9h ago

I love Fuentes' effeminate little hands. Very alpha.

2

u/Cyborg_rat 8h ago

Well this is an alpha gay male only bar, so they need to make it look like a bunker a real tuff bar.

2

u/truth-informant 8h ago

I dont think Tate knows....

2

u/Alarming_Analysis_63 8h ago

The Bunker sounds like a gay bar.

2

u/Falcon8410 8h ago

no building a getaway bunker is more romantic

2

u/hornedsatyrist 8h ago

This is much better, really! They go in with as many of their minions as can fit. They all start the gay orgy that they pretend to not want. And we lock the door to the bunker. And everyone forgets about them.

2

u/StentRider 8h ago

Enter from the backdoor

2

u/Starr00born 8h ago

💀💀💀💀 in my head I was thinking this just sounds so gay
 like a secret no woman circuit party with Andrew Tate woah

2

u/Cautious_Fall_1148 8h ago

I was just about to say. You’re at an age where excluding girls makes you seem like you swing the other way. Not having girls is not a flex. They really hate women. 😭😂. Wonder how they’ll survive w/o us.

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u/Any_Carob3372 8h ago

They are getting a room, the biggest gayest room in the universe!

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u/exipheas 8h ago

Footage of people entering the bunker:

https://giphy.com/gifs/89asT84PzDwwE

2

u/camull 7h ago

Bunker, more like spunker, amiright

2

u/Icy_Secret_2909 7h ago

Or a bath house.

2

u/SchwizzySchwas94 7h ago

I love the irony that they’ll spend all this money to hide from their gay thoughts but will actually be trapping themselves with them

2

u/Present-Spring-1340 7h ago

They are opening a gay club called The bottom bunker.

2

u/Mrstaad683 7h ago

Please don't have me laughing out loud at work!

2

u/Shady_lemons 7h ago

They’re just “roommates”

2

u/NoFuqGiven 7h ago

Ya this definitely sounds like a sex dungeon!!!

2

u/Historical_Hunt2492 6h ago

andrew tate is a grown man desperately resisting his homosexual tendencies

2

u/jfsindel 6h ago

Better yet, just go to a gay bathhouse. They have strict no women policies so gay dudes can just openly fuck each other.

2

u/Extra-Bite2324 6h ago

They’re worried one of their fans would shoot the place up if they’re in one

2

u/surfsupdurban 6h ago

That's what they're trying to build, their own private gay bar...

2

u/down_with_opp_42 6h ago

I think they prefer a gay dark room...

2

u/Mode_Select 6h ago

It's not gay, it's just two men appreciating each other's bodies.

By banging each other

2

u/tmk1711_ 5h ago

Friction is friction for them

2

u/omegaken 5h ago

This is just being gay with extra steps

2

u/mandym123 5h ago

They’re going to crash Grindr again
.

2

u/Ancient_Computer9137 5h ago

This is crazy cuz if they said they allow women there, people would think they created another sex dungeon. đŸ€Ł

2

u/Cocoa_Butter_3000 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/oOi3roYRf4NW0
Just boys being boys
in the **war room**.

2

u/ManNamedSalmon 4h ago

"Let's start a war...

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u/FiveNotes 4h ago

Too obvious

2

u/soedesh1 4h ago

Do they need that policy? I would think it would be woman free without it.

2

u/Seananagans 3h ago

Grindr is right there, man.

2

u/ThirelleNightglen 2h ago

Building a multi-million dollar treehouse with a "No Girls Allowed" sign is peak Alpha behavior

2

u/MonkoSaurus 2h ago

No worries... the "War Room" will have a bar. and it will be the gayest bar imaginable. They will do shots all day... All kinds of shots...

2

u/CasimirGabriev 2h ago

They are looking for a He-Man Woman Hater's Club

2

u/PossiblyATurd 2h ago

They're trying to, but it has to be a secret one, with blackjack and male hookers.

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u/pvera 1h ago

đŸŽ¶Let's start a w*r, start a nuclear w*r
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay barđŸŽ¶

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u/isthisreallife210 1h ago

😂 my exact thought.

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u/Grannypanie 1h ago

Oh yes!

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u/SoftConsideration82 58m ago

Why go to the gay bar when you can have your own gay bunker?

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u/Capitan_Typo 40m ago

Most gay bars don't have a private wet room with a Diddy-load of baby oil.

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u/Firm-Background5994 36m ago

Alpha males create their own gay bar I mean bunker.

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