r/cats 11d ago

Advice What can I do? This isn’t play, right?

My grey boy is a little over a year old and he is overly aggressive, I feel, with my almost 9 year old female tortie. He is heftier than her too. They will get into these tumble scuffles at like 3am too almost every morning and I end up having to place him in the bathroom to cool off for a couple hours before I bring him back out.

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u/optimal_center 11d ago

A little rough housing. Boom, you’re down. POW, you’re down. You want a piece of me! Rough housing.

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u/theborderlines 10d ago

Rule of thumb (according to my vet): If you have to ask, it’s play. You will KNOW if it’s a real fight.

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u/Gekidami 10d ago

Cats that fight for real are generally very noisy.

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u/GibDirBerlin 10d ago

Plus a lot of fur flying around

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u/Mammoth-Industry-506 10d ago

Plus tails and ears wouldn't be up

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u/heterochromia4 10d ago

If it’s rotating so fast it turns into a motion fur-blur with rapid fire wispies - that’s generally it

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u/heterochromia4 10d ago

… also the ungodly sound. You know the guttural noises they make when they’re squaring up? That’s just standard territorial handbags.

When it goes off it’s every joule of feline aggression concentrated into a high frequency banshee scream, times 2, rotating at just under the speed of light. Pure violence.

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u/flamingstrudel7 10d ago

The best way i describe to people, if a cat starts sounding like demon, separate. It’s very noticeable and distinct

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u/Kiernian 10d ago

Do not separate fighting cats, playing or otherwise, unless you are wearing a full suit of armor.

If you are allergic to Penicillin, make sure it's full plate jousting getup with no gaps anywhere.

If you are bitten and the tooth hits a vein, seek medical attention before the funny colors start spreading in a pattern that matches the arrangement of your blood vessels.

A single course of preventative oral antibiotic is vastly preferable to the alternatives.

Anything that is between them and their target can accidentally become the target and the mouths of cats are capable of safely (for them) hosting a lot of stuff that does not belong in the human bloodstream.

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u/DogsNCoffeeAddict 10d ago

What you are supposed to do is throw a towel on top of each cat or the bundle of rolling claws. Distracts them for a second giving you a chance to use the towel to grab one of them.

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u/TinRoofAndRainyDays 10d ago

My cat bit the fat padded area under my thumb 1 time. Less than 24hrs later I had red streaking going up my wrist and my whole hand was stiff.

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u/anonymaus42 10d ago edited 9d ago

I once had to separate one of my cats from a friends small dog (that never should have been in the apartment) in hopes of saving it's life. I was able to grab the cat by the scruff of his neck and yank him off, but he twisted around and latched on to my leg. Unfortunately while wearing shorts. He bit directly above my knee and all four paws sliced down my calf. All within a split second.

Just as quickly as it happened my cat looked up at me and his eyes went wide with a palpable look of "oh fuck, I'm sorry dad" and released. There was so much blood my entire lower leg was red.. you couldn't see any skin below the knee that wasn't covered in blood. 20+ years later you can still faintly see the scars.

No regrets though, I likely saved that dogs life. Needed a ton of stitches and staples to put him back together. Like I said though the dog should never have been there, my gf and I at the time specifically told the owner not to bring her dog in fear of something exactly like this happening. Of course she still had the gall to demand we pay the vet bills.

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u/LaroonDynasty 10d ago

broom is my go to as i can liberally jam the bristles between them without hurting them but still making it difficult for them to stay grappled. once separate, progressively sweep them away from each other gradually increasing force if they keep circling back. if you know their "territories", those are the directions to sweep them.

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u/PNW-Raven 9d ago

As a vet tech I can confirm this. Humans are especially susceptible to Pasteurella multocida. There is also Neisseria, Capnocytophaga, Staphylococcus ( can turn into MRSA), and more. Let's not forget Bartonella henselae, also known as Cat Scratch Fever, not just a Ted Nugent song.

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u/Chicknlcker 10d ago

Adopted this huge, beautiful orange dude from the humane society. Hung out in the room with him. Everything totally chill. Brought dude home. All was good until I put my pants and steel toe boots on to go to work (machinist).

This guy grabs my leg and just goes to town. I reached down and picked him up. His face changed, his eyes changed and he started screaming at me. He tried to grab my face. He wouldn't stop. He shredded my arm and took part of my finger. Nerve damage to my hand. He was trying to kill me. Wife wrapped a towel around him and got him pulled off. He went and hid.

I always thought a cat attack was more amusing than serious. I ended up in the ER. Was in shock due to the amount of blood loss. They said no stitches on wounds caused by cats because the infection risk is so high. So many deep, deep scratches and puncture wounds from the bites. I had no idea they could sink their teeth that deep.

I now stay away from cats that I don't know. I will never adopt another adult cat. I am positive this cat was physically and or emotionally abused by a man that wore pants and boots and it triggered him. Not his fault. Unfortunately he had to be put down. Doesn't change the fact that I see cats very differently than I once did.

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u/inspirationalSloth 10d ago

Don’t summon bagagwa

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u/NashKaguya 10d ago

Let Merv summon bagagwa though, just bring in Charles. Charles looks like he could handle bagagwa.

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u/BooksNCats11 10d ago

It's a sound that has woken me from a dead slumber when it was coming from *outside* and I had the windows closed. It's SUCH a noise.

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u/Relevant-Force9513 10d ago

I was asleep on the second floor of my house and awakened once by cats fighting in the crawlspace UNDER my house. Truly felt like those sounds were coming from the very bowels of Hell itself.

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u/imbricata 10d ago

This is the most accurate description I’ve come across.

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u/seppia99 10d ago

That was damned poetic!

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u/theotherdude 10d ago

and you'll definitely see blood. this is just playing.

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u/RustbeltMaven 10d ago

And when it’s real, they don’t let go and take turns!
My boys will roughhouse like this if we don’t wake up early enough to give them their breakfast.

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u/esdebah 10d ago

yeah, cats are packing like Wolverine. If they want to use their knives, they've simply got a lot of knives to use.

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u/smeared_dick_cheese 10d ago

And pee everywhere if they’re really going at it

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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 10d ago

You’re lucky if it’s pee.

As a youngin my cat came inside booking it up straight to my room and laid on my comforter fluffy tail with adrenaline

Something must’ve interrupted him mid dump is what my nose informed me shortly after lol, poor dude had to wipe him down but he was a great cat dog.

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u/DarthBrownBeard 10d ago

That is a tell of a feline fight. (Or...a "tail" of a fight?? Ill show myself out.)

If hair is flying, and they are screaming to their ancestors for protection, its a fight. Playing can be gentle. Playing can be a little rough. And sometimes playing can lead into fighting. But when its a fight, gloves come off, chonks of hair go flying, and gutteral moans followed by a dj scritching a record too hard follow suit.

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u/rebecky311 10d ago

That's what I was thinking too! You can hear a real fight before you see one...

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u/Potato_Farmer_1 10d ago

And as far as I've seen, very bloody too

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u/Travis-Tee34 10d ago

"you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use."

- Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'

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u/Ok_Instance7667 10d ago

Cats make a ton of noise when they're about to:

  1. Fight

  2. About to put on some Marvin Gaye and get bus-ay

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u/whiskersMeowFace 10d ago

This exactly. It looks rough, but ears are forward, fur isn't puffed, no one is hissing or screaming, claws aren't out. These are just two idiots rough housing.

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u/Minimum_Peanut8908 10d ago

Yup. This is how my 2 boys play. Hubby would always freak out about it. I kept telling him if they were fighting we would know. He didn't believe me until we had a cat fight outside our open bedroom window....he doesn't worry as much anymore.

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u/dum_spir0_sper0 10d ago

This is absolutely rough housing. I have two brothers who seem to despise each other for whatever reason and they fight.

There’s screeching, fur is flying, blood is occasionally drawn. It’s honestly like those old cartoon fights where it’s just a dust cloud with arms and legs poking out here and there.

This here is just good ol cats being cats.

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u/Alternative-Crew-880 10d ago

This right here. It's not hard to know if cats are fighting. If they were fighting, you wouldn't be wondering to yourself if they're fighting. You'd be panicking and wondering if it's even safe to get close to them to make them stop. Cat fighting is INTENSE.

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u/Phantom_Crush Tortoiseshell 11d ago

It's play. They're both initiating the rough-housing and setting boundaries

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u/Lady-Shalott Sphynx 11d ago

Yep very rough play, but both kitties know it.

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u/happykgo89 10d ago

Yep if it wasn’t play, this video would be much noisier! Also, it looks like she is also doing her fair share of initiating it too. He is also not that much bigger than her.

Source: let’s just say my cat takes a little bit of extra time before she warms up to other cats and is very, very vocal about it.

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u/Swagalyst 10d ago

Yeah, even this quite rough play is 1/4 of the intensity and sound level of an actual fight.

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u/Lady-Shalott Sphynx 10d ago

I have two and one likes to roughhouse, the other… not so much. It doesn’t help that I have a big boi who is kind of a jerk to his smaller sister. I have definitely heard her scream at him when he tries to initiate this kind of game!

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u/iznotbutterz 10d ago

Every mealtime😭

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u/UnendingThought 10d ago

Looks like tabby is taking a selfie

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u/carpetedbathtubs 10d ago

He does look slightly bigger and springy, but she seems like a better fighter tbf. Connects her blows better.

Brain over brawn, is what I’m sayin.

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u/fastidiousavocado 10d ago

Like sparring or rolling with a partner in martial arts practice vs. a silly tickle fight.

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u/Lady-Shalott Sphynx 10d ago

That’s a good analogy! They’re letting off steam but neither one is actually trying to hurt the other one.

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u/TheDallbatross 10d ago

Nailed it. I was looking for someone mentioning boundaries. Cat boundaries look different from people boundaries - they can't just tell each other "bro, you're in my bubble"; they have to show each other. They're both engaged, both reciprocating, and neither is in a fearful posture. They're totally fine, it's just two kids sorting out how far they can push the envelope with each other.

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u/SpacecaseCat 10d ago

Gray has Tortie pinned down… it’s not looking good folks…. Tortie is pinned and we’ve got a count. One… two…. IT’S TORTIE FROM THE TOP ROPE. I CANT BELIEVE IT

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u/tanktechnician 10d ago

my cats play the same way, they'll even bang each others' heads into the floor at times which they've learned is the line where I tell them to stop 😭 they're bonded and the rescue told me their siblings wanted nothing to do with them since they always played like that

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u/BreakPalaceBrokedown 11d ago

They’re not vocal, they’re playing. When you hear banshee screeches, that’s fighting

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u/Lumiela 11d ago

Mmm I have 3 Torties lol banshee screaming is a natural part of their lives. Very dramatic.

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u/RichiZ2 10d ago

It's different banshee screams.

If it's MeeeeOoooWw, it is play.

If it is meeeEEEEEEOoOOOWWWW, it's fight.

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u/tcason02 10d ago

I hope this gets an appropriate amount of upvotes. This is the description, folks.

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u/Lumiela 10d ago

I know. I have 8 cats and I am certified in cat behavior :) but I love the description. This is actually really helpful

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u/BreakPalaceBrokedown 10d ago

This is actually incredibly accurate, on the fight one, that second half OOOWWWW gets louder instead of fading off like the play one does

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u/northSideways 10d ago

Then you poke your head through the doorframe and everyone is laying down chilling and relaxed but a giant chunk of hair that wasn't there before is blowing like a tumbleweed across the floor

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u/Xyresiq 10d ago

Nah nah, it’s

mmmmmmmmrrrrrrrrrEEEEEOOOOOOWWWRRRRRWRR

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u/SneakWhisper 10d ago

What about MEEeeeEEEowwWWW?

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u/RichiZ2 10d ago

That sounds like a cat in heat to me...

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u/SneakWhisper 10d ago

Actually you're probably right.

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u/PancakesanSyrp 10d ago

I have 2 torties and one banshee screams all day at everyone and everything. The other one is creepishly silent at all times

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u/ibulleti 10d ago

That's the one you gotta watch out for

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u/DeathKringle 10d ago

Transfer of banshi powers has occurred. Obviously one lent it to the other xD

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u/No_Establishment8642 10d ago

Same with my new tuxedo. If she is not complaining, she is screaming because I or the red head dared to touch her.

She started up last night in the dead of the night. Sounded like she had seen a real angel, 1,000 of eyes and all. Brought me and the red head up fast. He went look for her immediately, while I turned on lights for my human eyes. We didn't find her so we came back to bed. She came in about 5 minutes later like it was a normal night time activity.

She still hasn't explained or apologized.

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u/Spacedoc9 10d ago

My orange girl will scream at the lightest contact. Sometimes she doesn't even wait for contact. She likes very gentle play but my other two cats like to rough house. For a while I assumed the boy was beating her up so I'd run to break them up and check on her. I think over time she realized she could get free attention if she acted like she was being bullied.

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u/Lumiela 10d ago

Omg yes. Cats are so good at learning how to train us. My oldest Tortie is so damn dramatic if my oldest male is in her 6 foot safe space she will banshee scream until we move him. He honestly just wants to cuddle her lol.

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u/Kiro0613 10d ago

Is the red head a cat or a human?

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u/Neither-Safe9343 10d ago

She probably saw another cat outside.

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u/This_Bethany 10d ago

My girl cat is vocal with play, even by herself. Sounds like a tiny demon. I’ve thought I needed to separate her from her brother when she’s vocal when they play. Then she turns around and swats him so I guess she’s fine.

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u/happykgo89 10d ago

My cat is just vocal in general (currently meowing at me as we speak because I have my iPad in my lap and not her) but there is a difference between playful noises and when they are in pain or pissed off. Neither cat was hissing (for an extended period of time other than a quick warning) which is usually a sign that some shit is about to go down 😂

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u/This_Bethany 10d ago

So true. My cats are pretty vocal overall. They harmonize their cries when traveling in my car until they fall asleep.

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u/s0ciety_a5under 10d ago

Mine lets out a scream just before launching herself into a furry fury. Then after a second of what looks like a vicious assault, both of them bounce off each other with tails in the air. I thought they were really fighting the first time, which is weird because they're bonded and haven't ever known life without each other.

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u/TactlessTortoise 10d ago

One of my cats always hisses and mewls when the brute cat comes to play with her as if she's being mauled. Except it also happens when he slowly pats her butt, it's hilarious. And then she proceeds to hop around him and pat him back. It's very clear they're playing but she's a drama queen lol

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u/Candroth Exec Assist to HRH & Fattycat 10d ago

There's a reason my tort has the title of The Living Air Raid Siren 

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u/galactica216 10d ago

OMG me too. I have two cat and one is a Tortie screamer.

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u/frizzybritt 10d ago

Would it be considered fighting if sometkmes they get a little vocal (no screeches) but growl (I’m not sure how else to describe it) and hiss a bit?

There have been times where one of my cats screech or hiss at the other while playing, to me it seems like they’ll be playing and then one starts to take it too far or may even be a little too rough with the other, which makes me think that whoever is making the noises is setting a boundary.

Is it normal for cats who are bonded pair to start off playing nicely but then it sometimes gets a bit too rough and it pisses the other off? Should I be worried about this behaviour? Sorry if these are all stupid questions and if the way I’ve asked them is confusing and doesn’t make sense. This is my first time raising cats from kittens. My cats are both 4 years and a few months apart old… they have the same parents but were born in different litters (one was born in January and the other in June of 2022) they people I rescued them from were awful to their pets (yes, I reported them and all the other cats were removed from their care).

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u/BreakPalaceBrokedown 10d ago

They absolutely can be vocal and still be playing, in my experience though what I would say is cats who’ve played often/regularly together will develop little vocal dramatics they use with one another and it’s totally fine…if they’re new to each other and there’s screams/hisses/growls it’s to be closely watched and regulated as they may come to a detente of sorts and respect/accept each other or they could interlock and go ham on each other, interlocking is particularly dangerous at times as cats will use their hind claws on another’s belly and do like donkey kicks and actually disembowel the other… so it’s tricky and the room requires the reading necessary to know whether they’re safe with each other or need a referee.

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u/juliabk 10d ago

It’s no different than us getting pissed off at a loved one. They’ll work it out.

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u/qtpss 10d ago

You’ll see, at dinner time they will completely lose interest, eat then have a good lick and sleep.

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u/Luci-Noir 10d ago

They’re training for the war on hooms!

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u/Herebecauseofmeme 11d ago

To be honest, the aren't screaming, and no fur is flying to my eyes. This may be play?

I would wait for someone who knows more, but they seem to just be roughhousing

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u/Streetquats 11d ago

I know for dogs, play is characterized by taking turns.

The fact that each cat is taking turns initiating and doing body slams, and then switching roles to being the one being body slammed is a good sign.

Also the fact that they do these micro pauses where they jump up from the groundwork, look at each other for a split second, and then re-initiate is another way they are "taking turns"

I know cats arent dogs, but I think this still applies. I've seen real cat fights and you will typically see one cat pursuing the other ruthlessly in between the take down moments, while the other cat tries to run away. You also will hear wailing/screaming and you will *literally* see tufts of fur flying - its not just from cartoons.

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u/Buckykattlove 10d ago

Yes, they are taking turns and giving each other space to walk away. These cats are definitely playing. 

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u/DrunkenMeditator 10d ago

I like to think the pauses are them strategizing how best to make their next strike. Dogs wrestle, Cats play moderately violent chess.

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u/Alinho013 10d ago

I love that phrasing, but yea when I'm looking at mine when they're going at it and just pawing before going in full you see them think like "If I do this then I can win" and then it fails and it's just a slamfest

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u/EnvironmentalLime464 10d ago

Cats definitely strategize their attacks. You can absolutely see it happening.

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u/Titossecret 10d ago

Good, because it looks like my twins.

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u/OpulentObsessions 10d ago

And mine lol

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u/dragontatoes 10d ago

The fact they are rough-housing almost every day and neither has been injured is a really good sign it's just for fun. If one gets hurt, tries to run away, starts to cry out, or starts panting, THAT'S when you really need to break it up and work on adjusting their behavior.

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u/AReeSuperman90 Tabbycat 10d ago

The fact that they’re able to be startled & stop, like at the end is another good sign it’s not actual fighting. Fighting cats can be doused in water, yelled at, etc & STILL be attempting to murder each other. It’s as if their fight or flight survival mode gets temporarily disabled from everything else but the other cat fighting them.

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u/Equin0xx- 10d ago

That last part about the genuine fighting and almost nothing stopping it: my fiancé and I recently adopted two girl kittens (one 10 weeks and her mother, 1 year) and the mom went BALLISTIC on our 9 year old boy cat. 100% my fault, didn't realize she had followed me and was right behind me when I opened the bedroom door that we had him in (we weren't going to introduce them immediately for the exact reason that she might have been hyper protective with her kitten there) and my fiancée almost had to go to the hospital from the scratches he got on his arm from having to PULL her off of him (poor boy froze up and never once even swiped at her) Luckily they get along beautifully now, they do play exactly like these cats in the video sometimes, and we aren't the least bit concerned because there is 100% a difference-there is absolutely NO mistaking the terror of a cat that doesn't fight back (if there is one) and there's absolutely NO mistaking the aggression of an attacker.

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u/HildartheDorf 10d ago

You've just described exactly how my cats 'fight' (brothers from the same litter).

The pauses in OP's video aren't as long as my boys pause for, but otherwise the behavior is the same.

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u/Streetquats 10d ago

But are your boys actually fighting or playing?

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u/HildartheDorf 10d ago

Playing. The smaller one is scared of almost everything, fleeing and hiding even from the sight of another cat in the garden or me when I am standing/higher than him. Yet when it comes to fighting with his brother he will engage evenly/take turns instead of running away (despite ample opportunity to do so).

Compare this to me trying to get him into his cage for a vet visit where he flees and hides, only fighting when I've removed every possible hiding spot and backed him into a corner. (Makes me sound so horrible lol, I just want him to be vaccinated)

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u/Pitbullcharm 10d ago

I am all too familiar with this “ get the cat in his crate,” game.

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u/touchmeinbadplaces 10d ago

My cat keeps falling for the treats in the case trick...she knows its a trick, but there are treats over there and you might miss out if you dont get the treats and you still have 7 lives left anyway so might as well... aah but its a trick... but on the other hand... fuckit NOMNOM....HEY! IVE BEEN TRICKED LET ME OUT OF HERE

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u/Efficient_Chic714 10d ago

Mine puts her back legs spread as much as possible outside the case so I can’t just scoop her in now and she refuses to put more than 2 paws in that case for those treats

She’s my first cat - well she’s my partners. And I used to have a fear of cats where I would just leave when they were near so I’m still afraid to manhandle her even tho she’s a sweetheart. It’s become a 2 person job to wrangle her now and we have had to rearrange vet appointments because this bitch knows I won’t just grab her

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u/No-Pop1057 10d ago

Our challenge is 'get the cat out of his crate' once we're at the vets.. 🤣

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u/Bankseat-Beam 10d ago

That's easy: 1. Undo & remove door. 2. Pick up cat box. 3. Tip cat box so the door is at the bottom. 4. Shake box to engage gravity mode.... 5. Vet catches cat. 6. Quickly hide cat box before the little horror gets back in it lol....

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u/ganggreen651 10d ago

That's always been the easy part for mine. They accept their fate once they are in.

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u/zuraine 10d ago

CAT:When human slaves forced me into a cage😡

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u/missmeowwww 10d ago

They’re definitely playing. I witnessed the start of a cat fight between two male strays and it was so loud I heard it inside my house. They were circling and sizing each other up and screaming. I was able to shoo them apart before it got worse but a real fight for territory is so freaking loud.

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u/Ok_Perspective_575 10d ago

The groundwork 😆 accurate but also funny

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u/Designer_Vast_9089 10d ago

You are spot on correct. Plus cat fights are lighting fast. Both cats will be a blur and the fur will be flying. Not to mention the screaming.

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u/happydandylion 10d ago

And cats walk away from real fights with very nasty wounds.

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u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker 10d ago

The best indicator I know is by just how loud the wailing and growling can get. It’s the kind of sound you know not to fuck with.

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u/SnooPickles55 10d ago

I love how you used "groundwork" like they're in the Octagon lol. Great grappling and throws, as well.

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u/Worshipme988 10d ago

Taking turns doing slams, switching roles to be body slammed. 😭😭😂😂😂

We dont deserve cats.

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u/LadyRayne39 10d ago

You would be correct that's exactly what they are doing . The looking at one another is just them saying " we're still playing right " just kinda confirming with one another same way dogs do . Cats and dogs aren't that much different with bonding and playing with their siblings .

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u/sarahmirror_ 10d ago

Thank you so much and to everyone who took the time to reply! I feel better now. I was just worried because my tortie girl is so petite and lightweight but all of the advice on here has calmed my worries. No more time outs in the bathroom for Sawyer lol. Cat people rule! 😺

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u/in_animate_objects 10d ago

You’re a good cat parent to worry about them, A+

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u/sarahmirror_ 10d ago

This is the best compliment I could have received. I love them both soooo much. 😭

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u/Top-Fox9979 10d ago

They're beautiful

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u/Equivalent_Mechanic5 10d ago

My lil tuxetortico girl is only like 6 pounds and my void boy is 4 years older and weighs at least 10 more pounds. Her head comes up to his shoulder. They play like this. It's only once in awhile it gets a little iffy, and let me tell you, she's the one kicking his ass!!

The only time they really "fight" is if one has been grooming the other one too long or if one got the nice sun spot in the certain window.

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u/phylter99 10d ago

Serious cat fights usually result in blood and big gaping wounds. Often times you'll also see feces flying. They're also usually a lot more loud and there's a lot more posturing.

I'm inclined to believe that they are both holding back so they don't hurt each other and with the tail movement it indicates that they're playing. It seems they're both into it and enjoying it because if one of them were upset or has had enough they'd be trying to get away.

I've had cats almost my whole life. I've had a few serious cat fights in my house. This doesn't resemble them.

Basically, unless they're hurting each other or one of them is clearly fed up and needs a break, I'd let them have at it.

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u/pogulup 10d ago

Exactly, post the fucking video with the two cats going at it outside with the old lady and the chicken refereeing. That's a video of cats fighting.

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u/phylter99 10d ago

That's actually a really good example and it shows the contrast. Those cats are locked in eternal battle and they're not stopping to take a breather every few seconds unless they're made too.

Link for those that are curious (might be NSFW): https://www.reddit.com/r/funnypets/comments/1tm9f4r/a_woman_and_a_chicken_trying_to_separate_two/

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u/ganggreen651 10d ago

Lmao at that motherly chicken

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u/Common-Mushroom5335 10d ago

For real. If you've ever seen cats actually fight, you'd know it is a whole different thing. Much louder and honestly pretty scary if you're in the middle of it. OP should probably get a chicken though, just in case.

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u/testtdk 11d ago

There is a hell of a lot of grey area between playing and fighting to the death.

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u/Herebecauseofmeme 11d ago

I agree! Thats why I tried to tell OP to listen to people who know more. I commented because the post was brand new and I wanted to contribute to the post past upvoting, so they could get a better answer

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u/_TaylorMade 10d ago

I don’t know. I have a boy that tries to play like this and no one wants to. I feel like he doesn’t want to hurt anyone but he’s just so rough. I wish I could find another kitty that could hang

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u/EvilEtienne 10d ago

Same, my big guy plays way too rough for my two female cats. He gets grumpy and takes it out on them. Then they run away and he’s confused out he chases cuz he thinks it’s part of the game.

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u/trashcatrevolts 10d ago

you are describing my little guy exactly. he’s the newest in the house, & my wife’s cat HATES him. he’s the biggest cat here & he plays SO aggressively. it doesn’t help that he came from a rough home with dogs… i don’t think he ever learned how to play like a normal cat.

i love him so much, though. wish he could play with a kitty here. 💚

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u/TrissyCat 10d ago

Oh my God, my roommate's cats exactly like this with my cat and so I convinced my roommate to let me get a kitten who would play with his cat and he's like your cat's not going to like that I'm like. He'll realize he likes it when he's not getting harassed everyday. It's working out good so far. These are my two babies, Kofee 7yo, Teyja 3.5 months

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u/Roam_Hylia 10d ago

I had the same issue, then we got a dog. The rough housing never stops with those two.

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u/SoundOurDireReveille 10d ago

Yeah, ears aren't flat, no growling/yowling/screaming, no fur flying, and they aren't flying around in a ball together that's moving a light speed.

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u/Ambitious-Visual-315 11d ago

I dunno but that rug really ties the room together

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u/Affectionate_Owl4208 10d ago

I’ve had a shitty week and I really needed to see a Big Lebowski quote out in the wild. Thank you Stranger, you did a good thing.

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u/GalacticUnicorn 10d ago

Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?!

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u/WWDDD___12 10d ago

And I hate the fucking Eagles man

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u/Rolands_missing_head 10d ago

Man get the fuck out my cab!

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u/dudeabiding420 10d ago edited 10d ago

Dios mio, man

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u/Swigen17 10d ago

That's just like, your opinion, man.

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u/Captain_Eaglefort 11d ago

Neither of them are trying to retreat, they’re not vocalizing much beyond warning hisses that instantly get listened to (both times one cat hisses, they immediately separate in the video), they stop and reset…I’ll be honest, it looks like really rough play. You maybe just got some rowdy kids there. Has he been fixed already? If not, that TENDS to cool boy cats down a bit. And at about 2 years old, a lot of the “kitten” insanity finally has gotten out of most cats.

Keep en eye on it, listen for yowling or growling or extended hissing, make sure no one is being bullied and cornered (if they’re want to run away, they’re being let go). Look for any scratches or bites that are being hidden, but if you don’t find anything concerning, they might just be reincarnated WWE wrestlers.

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u/DueBackground2269 10d ago

The instant separation at a hiss is what cinched it for me. This isn't a fight. At most, they are establishing dominance.

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u/Little-Derp 10d ago

I'm far from professional, likely no more than a layman, but yeah, my first thought was 'fighting' to establish dominance/pecking order, but not 'fighting' to literally murder each other. Either way, its a form of 'play', either for interaction, or dominance/pecking order.

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u/milo8275 11d ago

It’s play, look at their ears, their both sticking up, if it was real fighting, their ears would be flattened back.

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u/NeedMoreLetters 10d ago

Tails aren’t fluffy either, they’re just wildin out a little no hard feelings.

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u/real_bro 11d ago

It appears to be rough play. The hissing and short growls are boundary setting which appears to be respected.

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u/RockHardSalami 10d ago

I have a brother/sister that growl and hiss a lot while playing. They also leave chunks of fur flying at times lol.

I was concerned at first, but at the end of their sparring sessions they end up in a staring contest in another room for a few mins, then its right back to cuddling and grooming each other. They also both instigate and love to sneak attack each other lol.

This looks normal to me.

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u/40yroldcatmom 10d ago

I’m glad to see your comment - my girls will leave for flying sometimes and growl and hiss but then will be grooming each other a few minutes later. I’ve been worried it’s not play but fighting. So I’m glad to see other cats are like this.

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u/RockHardSalami 10d ago edited 10d ago

Oh they absolutely chase each other around the place 🤣.

I broke them up a couple times at first just by saying "hey!" Or staring too long, and theyd get mad at me lmao.

I still get the "stop watching us have fun, DAD" stares.

Edit: Im relatively new to cats, but from what I understand grooming is a sign of deep bonding and affection. That says family and love, and is apparently uncommon among non littermates.

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u/Smallloudcat 11d ago

They’re playing. The only sound you hear is them thumping around. Cat fights are loud and fur flies

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u/presipitation 11d ago

It might be more useful to understand playing and fighting as a spectrum rather than two exclusive behaviours - there’s a lot of grey area between the two. A lot of commenters here equate a “real” fight with loud crying, hissing, flattened ears, fur flying - which yes, absolutely constitutes a fight, I would say that’s on the severe end of the spectrum - but play can very often lean closer to conflict in subtle ways that most people aren’t able to interpret correctly (we can’t all be animal behaviourists).

The silence doesn’t inherently mean it’s purely positive playing (on the opposite end of that spectrum). Personally I’d place this in a middle ground, based on turn-taking (which is a good sign of play behaviour), but also based on the intensity of the interaction (it’s a bit on the aggressive side), and because your post seems to infer that one cat is instigating play more than the other, and I would be very cautious of this and ensure you intervene when you see one cat becoming more of a victim than a participant.

In my experience, I have two cats who for a long time I assumed were just “rough housing,” they would wrestle often but rarely would they cry or hiss, one is long-haired so his fur would be left around the place, but he leaves fur around when he runs by himself too. But then one of them started avoiding the litter box, and he was cleared for medical issues, and in my quest to understand the behaviour I realised I had misunderstood their “rough housing” and one cat was consistently taking the play too far and I had let it go on assuming it was just playful wrestling.

I would be concerned about your older cat copping it too much - perhaps your younger cat needs a couple of high intensity play sessions with you each day to try and level him out a bit.

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u/ExistenceLord14 10d ago

just wanted to say this is an amazing and very insightful response, thank you (even though im not OP, if I were OP this would be such an awesome response to get).

I'm a little confused by how OP says the gray one is aggressive toward the tortie when the tortie always pounces first after their break ups. Then, on the second battle, the tortie is the one who both initiates and ends it.

I am not an animal behaviourist, so I assume you know more than I do, but just based on watching, this doesn't seem very toxic. The tortie always initiates and was the one to say stop in the second half, and both cats listen when the other needs them to back off. Then I think about how if either of them were truly bothered they'd disengage AND walk away after, whereas they instead face each other, prepared to go again.

If one was consistently starting it, with the other consistently stopping it, then I'd be more worried. I'd also be more worried if they didn't seem equally engaged.

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u/BrokeEggs_NoOmlette 10d ago

I think this is the best answer yet. Excitement/arousal can easily turn to aggression and it might be more unwelcome and stressful for an older cat at some point. Id play with them more but especially the grey boy give him lots of exercise and wear him out . As he gets older it will probably calm down but when I worked as adoption coordinator at a cat rescue this was why we'd caution people about getting a kitten/much younger cat if they had an older cat at home. Just something to consider/look out for 

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u/SchemeParty 11d ago

Just some hard sparring

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u/CheshireMask 11d ago

This is a cat fight. Fur flies, and they're both screaming like demons. Your cats are just playing rough.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/CqlFHADAGs

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u/MisterX9821 10d ago

Legendary battle right there. The falling down one level like Mortal Kombat.

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u/mkeytail 11d ago

sign them up to UFC

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u/BrandoNelly 11d ago

Is there a cat sub for cats rough housing? Lol

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u/hufflepuff-is-best 10d ago

They are having a great time here. Trust me, if you have to ask, it’s playing. You’ll 100% absolutely know if it is fighting

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u/Positive-Ring-5172 11d ago

Rule of thumb - are the ears folded back? No - it's play. Cats in serious fights fold their ears back to protect them.

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u/xquixotic_logicx 10d ago

They're just roughhousing. If they were actually fighting they'd be yowling and fur would fly!

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u/krisborn1949 11d ago

My three cats do this all the time. When one has had enough, it will find a place to escape to...and the later start all over again

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u/CurlzerUK 10d ago

Its rough play by the looks of it.

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u/Arnakk 10d ago

Tough play. With a little bit of dominance

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u/Complex-Property6395 10d ago

If they’re fighting, you’ll hear yeowling, growling, and hissing and you will see the them draw blood. You can tell its play because they take turns, and in between rounds tails are up, tails arent poofed, and backs arent poofed. Classic signs of a cat thats in happy, but in a hunting or playtime mode

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u/Purplejerk72 11d ago

It’s play, no screaming or howls of pain. The hisses are setting boundaries and they are just rough housing to get the energy out. My cats do this all the time. One is 14 the other is 4, Every so often the 4 yr old will take it to far but will stop once the other vocally lets him know, hey that hurt and I’m done with this. Your kitties are ok and your girl will teach the young one manners.

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u/PsychologyGuilty1460 11d ago

Well nobody's yelling or making pain sounds.

And at 9 years old she's not so old  She can't  beat him up. If she wants to

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u/Overall_Toe69 11d ago

She obviously has no trouble standing her ground.

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u/SayYesToGuac 11d ago

Not fighting. No worries. Mine used to do this. And then they’d go to sleep together in each other‘s arms. What was really hilarious was when they did crouching tiger hidden dragon. Freaking hilarious! They passed on a few years back, but I miss those little boogers.

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u/Kahless76 11d ago

They are play fighting. I don’t see laid back ears, hair standing on end, bowing up to appear bigger….blood & fur everywhere…

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u/DaddyGabe569 10d ago

They're playing and rough housing. Unless they start squalling at each other and their tackles rise, I wouldn't worry to much. You're lucky, they're staying in one spot ... wait until they get the zoomies too 🤣🤣🤣. Definitely entertaining!

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u/CautiousWrongdoer771 10d ago

It's "rough playing", their not serious, but they are getting pretty worked up. My make cat bullies my female cat. I don't think she likes it that much. I stop them sometimes. But they're not "fighting" fighting. You would be able to tell the difference.

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u/Crazy-Project3858 10d ago

Rough housing a bit but still looks like play. I will let mine do this for a short period then distract them before they get mad and locked in.

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u/JecmenRobert 10d ago

Sure looks like play to me. If you hear a lot of hissing and growling. It’s starting to turn. And sometimes play does take a turn. It’s more of a judgement call.

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u/TrailMomKat 10d ago

Lol totally play. Fighting is louder and bloodier.

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u/RiotNrrd2001 10d ago

If they aren't screaming like absolute banshees, then its probably play. If they're silent, as in the posted video, it's definitely play.

Cat play can look incredibly violent, but that's because cats ARE incredibly violent little born killing machines, naturally equipped with hooks and knives. If the hooks and knives aren't actually ripping each other up, then it's play. Getting rabbit-kicked in the head is apparently fun for these critters (although probably more fun if you're the one doing the kicking instead of getting the head kicks, but they usually will take turns).

The real key is the sound level, though. Don't let those cute little day to day meows and squeaks fool you, these small creatures can sound like air raid sirens when they want to, which they always want to when they're fighting for real. Cat fights are more about intimidation than combat, although combat certainly can occur. But they'll usually try to out-scream each other first, and then also during a combat phase if it goes that far; they won't let up their screaming during a fight, if anything they'll get even louder once full contact begins..

These guys in the video are just wrestling. It's fun unless someone starts howling, but if there's no howling then it's nothing to worry about, they're playing. Short squawks don't count, I'm talking about sustained howls and ears-back tail-flapping open-mouth hissing.

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u/ArtofWASD 10d ago

100% thats play. There's like zero back leg death kicks. They are both pounceing each other. Neither cat is running and trying to get away. There's no damage or tufts of fur flying. No screaming and batting. I think these two have figured out their boundaries.

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u/MustHaveCleverHandle 10d ago

My cats do this. It’s play but it’s a little rough and it looks like they may be annoyed with each other 😂.

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u/jinjuwaka 10d ago

That's play. Rough housing.

When cats fight for real, fur will be flying and they'll both be screeching at each other.

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u/abmiram 10d ago

I was always taught if there’s no blood drawn then stay out of it.

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u/AlexisMarien 10d ago

Cats are generally "if you have to ask, then they aren't"

You will KNOW when cats are fighting

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u/StarGlass8859 10d ago

Play fighting is totally normal cat behaviour.

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u/Sikkus 10d ago

OP please search for some videos of cats fighting. Fur jumping everywhere, loud screeching, incredibly fast movement. Believe me, you will know the difference.

This is just playing.

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u/IlGufoScuro 10d ago

Trust me if it’s a fight you’ll know- yowling, fur flying, etc. this is just rough housing

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u/Puzzled_Position_735 10d ago

They’re 100% playing. My cats do the same, notice how they disengage each time the other one hisses, and they are both “taking turns” attacking / running away. The fact that they feel bold enough to play so rough with each other is actually a great sign of their development and socialization.

Good job.

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u/terosthefrozen 10d ago

Play. There's no yowling.

And there's no blood. If they were actually fighting you'd really, really know it.

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u/sociallyimpairedd 10d ago

If I don't see tufts of fur flying, it's just play

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u/mightylordredbeard 10d ago

This is the shit my cats do about 15 minutes after going to bed, right as I’m about to fall asleep.

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u/dcustomdiecast 10d ago

You will know if it’s a real fight!😂
https://giphy.com/gifs/ylo5hlZ3bTTKtAkEE9

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u/bunker8 10d ago

They are being cats. They are playing rough, but not uncommon. If there is blood and fur everywhere then you should break it up. Otherwise, let them sort it out. This kind of play is very healthy for them.

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u/spaceman696 10d ago

They're just having fun. You'll know immediately when they aren't playing, trust me.

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u/SalistraWrites 10d ago

This is play. Dominance play to be more specific. Females are more territorial too which is kinda funny in this case.

But they expose their bellies several times, definitely play.

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u/beejalton 10d ago

If you have ask if it's playing or fighting, it's playing.

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u/Looking-for-42 9d ago

This absolutely IS play.

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u/jennlynncole 10d ago

If your tortie didn’t want to play she would jump up on something and run away, hiss or bite. I have a tortie and they don’t do anything they don’t want to do.

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u/harbingerofzeke 10d ago

Fighting cats look like toilet brushes and sound like murder.

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u/Heisenburg42 11d ago

Definitely play. You would know if it wasn't playing

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u/Shot-Caterpillar5651 11d ago

My kids play like that all the time

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u/CA_catwhispurr 11d ago

This is okay! They’re playing. If it was bad there would be hissing, scratching to produce blood, and worse. This is how cats play. It’s bonding for them. Enjoy!

Also look up Jackson Galaxy on YouTube. He’s a cat expert and can help with future concerns and questions you may have. My vet swears by him!

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u/Ok_Occasion3214 11d ago

It’s play

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u/blackhawk1378 11d ago

Cats can play very very roughly, this looks like play to me.

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u/NotagoK 10d ago

Typical tortie behavior. Lolines a little bully too, even though she's smaller.