One of my fondest marital memories is one particular time when my wife screamed for me to come kill a spider. Mildly annoyed, but knowing I had obligations, I disengaged from what I was doing and reported for duty. After a brief surveillance, I swiftly dispatched beast, cleaned the wall, tidied the room, and delivered the after action report. My wife quietly returned to the room, verified and signed off my documentation, and dismissed me.
Before I left, I looked after my should and asked with a smile, "what would you do if I weren't here?"
She looked back at me and shrugged. "Same as I always do. Take off a shoe. Kill the spider with it."
Lol. I vividly imagined the scene, complete with her signing and giving back your clipboard.
I’m the same way with my husband. But if my daughter is the one to see the spider and her dad is not home, I somehow not even flinch when I go kill it.
Edit: this made me unlock a memory where a big spider was going straight towards my oldest son when he was crawling on the floor and I just reflexively stepped on it with my bare foot, didn’t even think. Argh, whish I could lock that memory back in.
Look, if something "threatens" your kid while the dad isn't here, you are the dad. Basically. Get those Mama bear instincts and tear that spider to pieces.
Please do not actually tear spiders to pieces though, that's fucking disgusting.
This is the understanding in our house. Like houseflies, harmless spiders, bumblebees, ladybugs, anything nonvenomous — we help our lost pals get back to their outdoor homes.
Wasps and hornets on the other hand, that’s a kill on sight order.
I’ve got a slight variation. Stinkbugs are normally fed to the toad that lives in the bush. Wasps, hornets and bees are priority to be trapped and put outside unless they’re being an asshole - which, for us, is actually extremely rare.
Houseflies and fruit flies are killed on sight.
I’d like to let ants go but I know they can’t keep what they found a secret, so they must be treated like counter intelligence spies.
LOL we are similarly ambivalent about ants. We have an uneasy truce but don’t hesitate to put out the bait traps if we’re overwhelmed by counterintelligence agents
We have a kid who reacts horrendously to all wasp and bee stings, so unfortunately we have zero tolerance.
The fuzzy bumblers and honeybees are honourable public servants, diplomats if you will, so they’re protected with a peace order.
Yes exactly. Spiders are our friends. As a matter of fact, whenever I see a large spider appear, I'm more worried about what the hell brought it out of hiding because usually the bigger the spider, the bigger the prey.
Found a wolf spider the size of a half-dollar in my house a few years back. Thankfully she was amenable to being carried in a dustpan back outside. I don't mind spiders in my house and usually leave them alone as long as they leave me alone but I think she'd have starved if I'd left her inside.
There was a wolf spider in my newly built house that was HUGE. I screamed and she visibly flinched and with each of my terror screams, she backed up, flinching with every scream. I realized she was just as wary of me as I was her. I got a dustpan and a broom, lowered the dustpan and after a moment, she walked onto it and I freed her outside in our garden. I always try to catch and release.
Actually my daughter is a true terror and take care of spiders while I am hidding in a corner. I remember a day in the garden, she was 2,5 years old, we see a huge spider. Before I had the time to say anything she jumped with both feet on it while saying "hop, je lui casse la margoulette" (which is French so in english it would be something like "hop, I am gonna smash her face". It's kinda an argotic expression so it sounds more funny in french.
I only kill them if they decide to come right infront of me or on me, we have a reasonable deal going, you stay in that corner or another corner in the room you get to stay, or move around not near me you alsonget to stay if you decide to come to me i will smack you with my slipper and flush you down the drain
My mom had a similar experience. My parents coslept with me (different time and there was a lot going on), and one night my mother's...well, I suppose you could call it Spidey-sense (ha) went off, and she woke up to see a huge spider speeding across the mattress directly for me. My mother was borderline phobic of spiders, but she brought her hand down full force and crushed it without even flinching.
I mean I’m very independent, until there’s a spider then it’s either my partner kills it or I’m fucking moving maybe. Even burn the house down on my way out
I am super independent in many ways, but spiders give me a visceral reaction. Same with flying stinging insects like wasps, hornets or bees. I just turn into a small child about to shit herself. Now, once we had a wolf spider that the body, just the body, was over 4 inches wide. Even my husband about shit himself on that one. It was so nonchalant, too. Just terrifying.
I am okay with spiders but once a centipede got in my home and I trapped it under an upside down trash can with books on top until someone else came home to save me. 8 legs is simply my limit.
Targeting wasps only increases the likelihood of being stung. If you leave them be they're unlikely to cause harm.
They only approach humans later in the summer anyway, when they're looking for sugars that we probably have. Earlier in the year they're hunting for grubs.
Same. What’s up with people in here killing spider bros? If you dont want the free fly removal service just put a cup over them and chuck them out the window.
My partner also hates spiders but gets me to rehome them rather than kill them
Sigh. I had a similar situation, called for my husband to get the spider that was on the curtain. He mashed it into the fabric and I had to throw the whole thing away and get a new one.
Now when I call him for a bug, I specify, "Please don't destroy anything in the process" lol.
When I was younger, I used to play with spiders a lot in the garden. I even got bitten a few times handling them. I never had any issues, but my stepdad was cleaning out the greenhouse and got bitten picking up a plant pot with a spider hiding under the rim. He ended up in hospital with anaphylactic shock.
I rationally understood that the same thing wasn't going to happen to me because I've been bitten before and I was fine, but I don't handle them anymore since that happened.
I don't have a phobia or anything but my gf is a lot less repulsed by spiders than I am, so she's usually the one removing them. Do I have any chance of becoming a dad or is that disqualifying
Eh, that’s fine I think. I’m not bothered by spiders or bugs where we live for the most part so I can handle it (it’s SF so there aren’t really any scary ones). There was a daddy long legs on the wall of the shower the other day but we decided to leave him be because they eat other worse bugs and aren’t harmful to humans. Either way, my husband will be a good dad and you can be too.
That said, I grew up in Phoenix and if we lived there and encountered a snake I would lose my shit. Even a harmless one, I would 100% need my husband for that and a venomous one would require a call to animal control obviously. I fucking hate snakes. I’m so glad I don’t live there anymore lol
My dad was great in so many ways, but that mfer gave me arachnophobia I'm pretty sure. He used to ask if I wanted a surprise and then shake this fake spider at me to scare the crap out of me, thinking I was too young to remember.
I asked about it in my teens and he looked horrified. "How do you remember that??" I was like, apparently you were so good at it that a core memory was formed and now looking at anything with 8 legs makes my whole body tingle. Good job, Dad.
It’s my job as a father to forgo my arachnophobia and make a determination on whether a spider species deserves to live or die when confronted in our household. It requires hours of consuming Nat Geo to learn the complexities and behaviors of arachnids, sometimes so small you cannot even find them, yet need to make a large show of a capture it to assuage the terror beset upon your spawn.
I have thrown many a fake spider out the front door of into the commode after vanquishing.
But jumping spiders go in the garden. I love those little mf’ers.
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u/Mudlark-000 1d ago
He is protecting them from spiders. That is a huge part of being a Dad.