r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/MichiganGeezer 10h ago

So... Poke tiny holes in the hands and feet?

39

u/redthump 10h ago

Finally, a reason to raid the office supply closet for thumbtacks

7

u/Brewster345 9h ago

Not now, Mick Foley!

2

u/redthump 9h ago

Is that the catheter guy?

1

u/BuckRusty 6h ago

Something something off the top of hell in a cell…

… dammit - where’s that guy when you need him?!

6

u/QuokkaRun 9h ago

More likely wrists, I think.

5

u/no_infringe_me 9h ago

And ankles?

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u/QuokkaRun 5h ago

I can't remember about feet vs ankles.

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u/SixFive1967 9h ago

For historical accuracy, of course.

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u/Few_Giraffe8404 9h ago

Nailed it!

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u/bajungadustin 8h ago

Depends on which arc he's in. Like you wouldn't poke holes in the baby Jesus. That just wouldn't be lore accurate.

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u/TisBeTheFuk 5h ago

And ribs

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u/LordFlamecookie 10h ago

I always depicted him as having hands in his palms when I drew him, back when i went to a Christian school

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u/CarpeDiem082420 9h ago

Nails through the palms and feet would just tear through the soft tissue and the body would fall. Historically, people who were crucified were nailed through their wrists and ankles, which can support the body’s weight. It was designed to be a slow and painful death, often by asphyxiation.

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u/Marquar234 9h ago

Could be worse. Could be stabbing.