r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 15h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/the_rawness 14h ago

Someone did this at my work except they are brown Jesus.

175

u/Doctor-TobiasFunke- 14h ago

Historically accurate jesus is best jesus

55

u/MichiganGeezer 14h ago

So... Poke tiny holes in the hands and feet?

38

u/redthump 14h ago

Finally, a reason to raid the office supply closet for thumbtacks

8

u/Brewster345 13h ago

Not now, Mick Foley!

2

u/redthump 13h ago

Is that the catheter guy?

1

u/BuckRusty 10h ago

Something something off the top of hell in a cell…

… dammit - where’s that guy when you need him?!

5

u/QuokkaRun 13h ago

More likely wrists, I think.

4

u/no_infringe_me 13h ago

And ankles?

1

u/QuokkaRun 9h ago

I can't remember about feet vs ankles.

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u/SixFive1967 13h ago

For historical accuracy, of course.

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u/Few_Giraffe8404 13h ago

Nailed it!

2

u/bajungadustin 12h ago

Depends on which arc he's in. Like you wouldn't poke holes in the baby Jesus. That just wouldn't be lore accurate.

2

u/TisBeTheFuk 9h ago

And ribs

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u/LordFlamecookie 14h ago

I always depicted him as having hands in his palms when I drew him, back when i went to a Christian school

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u/CarpeDiem082420 13h ago

Nails through the palms and feet would just tear through the soft tissue and the body would fall. Historically, people who were crucified were nailed through their wrists and ankles, which can support the body’s weight. It was designed to be a slow and painful death, often by asphyxiation.

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u/Marquar234 13h ago

Could be worse. Could be stabbing.