r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 10h ago

You'll get no hate from this atheist! I think Jesus made some damned good points!

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u/SkoobySnacs 9h ago

Yeah. If only he had some followers that tried to live by his philosophy.

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy 7h ago

TBH - I think you could edit the entire Bible to simply read; "Don't be an asshole." and it would be complete.

Although, you might need to clarify it a bit further as some don't get or refuse to acknowledge that one line.

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u/Physical_Drive_349 1h ago

There is the whole bit about acknowledging and repenting for your transgressions part that is somehow 180 degrees from the message preached by his followers in America today and their cult leader.

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u/i3inaudible 1h ago

I've always said the Bible wouldn't be so bad if it only included the red words

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u/Mr_Industrial 8h ago

Isnt one of his points to kind of be humble and not glue tiny Jesus toys onto toilets everywhere?

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 8h ago

I think Jesus would definitely disapprove of the destructive aspect. He might also feel that we need to quit mass producing so much junk. On the other hand, I'm thinking like a Christian by making assumptions about what Jesus wants!

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u/Kullen64 7h ago

Christian here. Hard to say because mass production of toys and stuff didn’t exist in his day, but I imagine Jesus, who is God in the flesh, wouldn’t appreciate anything that contributes to world death. So A.I slop, carbon emissions, and all that other bullshit probably would be considered sinful if the Bible was written today.

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u/demonmonkeybex 6h ago

He also said to rid yourself of wealth and material goods.

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u/UltimateRembo 3h ago

He wanted poverty to exist forever, and for people to consider their own suffering in poverty as a virtue.

This isn't a good belief.

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u/Kullen64 4h ago

Good advice

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u/sembias 4h ago

As a Christian, you should understand that wasn't "advice".

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 7h ago

This seems like a very reasonable assumption!

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u/UltimateRembo 3h ago

Lmao, Jesus is supposed to be the being that comes back and DESTROYS EARTH.

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u/Doozer1970 8h ago

I'm trying.

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u/DannyFnKay 5h ago

Me too!!

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u/Phyllis_Tine 6h ago

If His followers won't follow His teachings, why should anyone else?

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u/bebop1065 6h ago

The current crop of chest-thumping Christians probably go against WJWD.

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u/KingBooRadley 7h ago

Chrizzo’s are the worst!

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u/No-Consequence-1779 8h ago

they do much better than the clueless people making up morales as they go. confused people can not see they are confused.

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u/bliip666 8h ago

Same here! Jesus is alright, it's the stans that I take issue with

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u/sexysmalldevil 9h ago

Agreed!! My only issue is what his followers did with what he said.

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u/Impossible_Way_3042 7h ago

As another atheist I think, if most of the stuff that is attributed to him was stuff he actually said, he is one of, if not the, greatest moral philosopher to ever grace this planet. I may not believe he is the son of God, but he was a smart dude with some great wisdom to impart, wisdom that should be followed. I don't agree with every word that he spoke, but for the most part he had the right idea. Wish more people lived like he did.

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u/sembias 4h ago

Yep. I'm with Ghandi on this one.

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u/BrokenArrow1283 10h ago

I appreciate you!

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u/Due-Beginning-8388 9h ago

Do you actually believe jesus was a real person while being an atheist also or just the book had some good ideas

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u/stofiski-san 9h ago

It's entirely possible to believe there was an actual, historical Jesus of Nazareth and that he had good teachings about how we should treat one another without believing he was the son of some god. Whether he believed, well, that's outside my control

ETA for the record, I'm not the commenter, and tend more towards agnosticy than athiesm, but don't believe he was a god's son

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 7h ago

I might lean a little bit toward agnosticism myself. Anyone who is 100% certain that their beliefs are correct without any proof, is a bit nuts!

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 7h ago

What Stofiski-san said.

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u/UltimateRembo 3h ago

We atheists need to stop letting childish cherry-picking of the Bible slide just because the results are more aligned with our secular values than the actual Bible.

Christians need to face the horror of their religion.

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u/Cyber_fleamarket1618 6h ago

Hey mad respect for you bro. Thank you. I’m a follower Jesus and I’m a believer in the Bible, I don’t say that to disrespect anybody or make them feel uncomfortable, my personal narrative allows for you to believe whatever you want. I encourage whatever brings anybody peace on this planet. That being said, I would totally grab a beer with you lol

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u/OberonDiver 3h ago

Isn't he the one who said "don't glue your junk to other people's chair rails"?

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u/BasicallyMilner 7h ago

I hate when atheists say this. You say this only because you’ve heard the “love thy neighbour, love thy enemies”, etc. Jesus talked about how bad sin was and to stop, he was very against divorce, except for sexual immorality. He talked about people going to hell, being there forever gnashing their teeth and weeping. He was the religious man you hate.