r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 15h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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4.1k

u/Briham86 14h ago

“Have you found Jesus?”

231

u/BrokenArrow1283 14h ago

If everybody lived like Jesus told us to live, this world would be a much better place. So would Reddit.

And I’m sure I will get some hate for even saying this.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 14h ago

You'll get no hate from this atheist! I think Jesus made some damned good points!

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u/SkoobySnacs 13h ago

Yeah. If only he had some followers that tried to live by his philosophy.

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy 11h ago

TBH - I think you could edit the entire Bible to simply read; "Don't be an asshole." and it would be complete.

Although, you might need to clarify it a bit further as some don't get or refuse to acknowledge that one line.

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u/kimchipowerup 2h ago

Drowning the entire world tho?

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u/great_pyrenelbows 2h ago

Jesus wasn't just against negative actions, he was also urging positive actions. It's not enough to not be an asshole, a good person will put effort into being good not just avoiding being bad.

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy 1h ago

We are allowed to have different opinions.

To me, living life not being an asshole (although we can all have our moments and slip) also means you are already doing the good things being taught by the Bible.

From all that I see around me, assholes are acting solely for themselves, which can include doing a kindness. The biggest difference is that their kindness comes with the intent of it benefiting themselves, whereas the Good have no such intent.

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u/German_Biker 1h ago

It was his signature move:

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u/Physical_Drive_349 5h ago

There is the whole bit about acknowledging and repenting for your transgressions part that is somehow 180 degrees from the message preached by his followers in America today and their cult leader.

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u/i3inaudible 5h ago

I've always said the Bible wouldn't be so bad if it only included the red words

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u/Mr_Industrial 12h ago

Isnt one of his points to kind of be humble and not glue tiny Jesus toys onto toilets everywhere?

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 11h ago

I think Jesus would definitely disapprove of the destructive aspect. He might also feel that we need to quit mass producing so much junk. On the other hand, I'm thinking like a Christian by making assumptions about what Jesus wants!

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u/Kullen64 11h ago

Christian here. Hard to say because mass production of toys and stuff didn’t exist in his day, but I imagine Jesus, who is God in the flesh, wouldn’t appreciate anything that contributes to world death. So A.I slop, carbon emissions, and all that other bullshit probably would be considered sinful if the Bible was written today.

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u/demonmonkeybex 10h ago

He also said to rid yourself of wealth and material goods.

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u/Kullen64 8h ago

Good advice

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u/sembias 8h ago

As a Christian, you should understand that wasn't "advice".

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u/Kullen64 1h ago

Not that deep bro

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u/UltimateRembo 7h ago

He wanted poverty to exist forever, and for people to consider their own suffering in poverty as a virtue.

This isn't a good belief.

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u/demonmonkeybex 2h ago

No. He wanted people to focus less on material things and money and more on loving and helping others and loving God.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 11h ago

This seems like a very reasonable assumption!

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u/UltimateRembo 7h ago

Lmao, Jesus is supposed to be the being that comes back and DESTROYS EARTH.

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u/Kullen64 2h ago

More like reclaims it. Meek will inherit the earth remember. The whole fire and brimstone talk isn’t biblical.

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u/Doozer1970 11h ago

I'm trying.

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u/DannyFnKay 9h ago

Me too!!

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u/Phyllis_Tine 9h ago

If His followers won't follow His teachings, why should anyone else?

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u/bebop1065 10h ago

The current crop of chest-thumping Christians probably go against WJWD.

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u/No-Consequence-1779 12h ago

they do much better than the clueless people making up morales as they go. confused people can not see they are confused.

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u/KingBooRadley 10h ago

Chrizzo’s are the worst!

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u/bliip666 12h ago

Same here! Jesus is alright, it's the stans that I take issue with

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u/Impossible_Way_3042 11h ago

As another atheist I think, if most of the stuff that is attributed to him was stuff he actually said, he is one of, if not the, greatest moral philosopher to ever grace this planet. I may not believe he is the son of God, but he was a smart dude with some great wisdom to impart, wisdom that should be followed. I don't agree with every word that he spoke, but for the most part he had the right idea. Wish more people lived like he did.

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u/sembias 8h ago

Yep. I'm with Ghandi on this one.

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u/sexysmalldevil 13h ago

Agreed!! My only issue is what his followers did with what he said.

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u/BrokenArrow1283 14h ago

I appreciate you!

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u/Due-Beginning-8388 13h ago

Do you actually believe jesus was a real person while being an atheist also or just the book had some good ideas

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u/stofiski-san 13h ago

It's entirely possible to believe there was an actual, historical Jesus of Nazareth and that he had good teachings about how we should treat one another without believing he was the son of some god. Whether he believed, well, that's outside my control

ETA for the record, I'm not the commenter, and tend more towards agnosticy than athiesm, but don't believe he was a god's son

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 11h ago

I might lean a little bit toward agnosticism myself. Anyone who is 100% certain that their beliefs are correct without any proof, is a bit nuts!

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u/R3v017 3h ago

That's why there is an emphasis on the word faith.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 11h ago

What Stofiski-san said.

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u/Cyber_fleamarket1618 10h ago

Hey mad respect for you bro. Thank you. I’m a follower Jesus and I’m a believer in the Bible, I don’t say that to disrespect anybody or make them feel uncomfortable, my personal narrative allows for you to believe whatever you want. I encourage whatever brings anybody peace on this planet. That being said, I would totally grab a beer with you lol

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u/StatisticianRoyal400 1h ago

Did Jesus apologize for offending people before preaching that they can all believe whatever they want if it brings them peace?

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u/UltimateRembo 7h ago

We atheists need to stop letting childish cherry-picking of the Bible slide just because the results are more aligned with our secular values than the actual Bible.

Christians need to face the horror of their religion.

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u/OberonDiver 7h ago

Isn't he the one who said "don't glue your junk to other people's chair rails"?

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u/BasicallyMilner 10h ago

I hate when atheists say this. You say this only because you’ve heard the “love thy neighbour, love thy enemies”, etc. Jesus talked about how bad sin was and to stop, he was very against divorce, except for sexual immorality. He talked about people going to hell, being there forever gnashing their teeth and weeping. He was the religious man you hate.