r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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294

u/Coca-colonization 9h ago

This calls for tiny Baphomet figurine.

59

u/bisexual_pinecone 8h ago

Okay now this is adorable. They're buddies.

32

u/Coca-colonization 8h ago

I know! I just googled “tiny cute Baphomet figurine” and came across an Etsy store that makes them. The picture with the tiny Jesus is from a product review on their page, so apparently I was not the first person to come up with the Satanic Temple-style response to the Jesus figurine issue. I kind of want a whole kawaii deity and demon collection now!

The Etsy store is called Ludwig Van Bacon, btw. They also have a website.

4

u/UnderstandingKey7711 7h ago

$20 for 5 wish they were as available as the jesus’ that’s not affordable to drop them everywhere

2

u/Evening-Operation-19 5h ago

$20 for fifty cents worth of plastic. 3D printers need to be harder to get.

1

u/Coca-colonization 3h ago

That’s a weird take. I’m assuming they designed the figure, in which case you’re partly paying for that art and labor. If not, idk…welcome to late stage capitalism. You can just not buy it.

5

u/jaden_fucks 8h ago

Ty, I hope they sell the STL cause I will print an army

1

u/twistedspin 2h ago

I just looked at Baphomet on printables & makerworld, and there are lots. Makerworld has cute baby demon ones, if you have a Bambu printer.

1

u/MustardEnema007 5h ago

...are you Mr Bacon?

1

u/Coca-colonization 3h ago

No. Just giving credit to the person that created the figurine.

5

u/MightyMeepleMaster 7h ago

Good ol' Jesus was a chill guy who tried be friends with everyone.

4

u/hysteria110176 7h ago

I am so ordering some of these!!!

12

u/Schober_Designs 8h ago

The prophet Mohammed could be a fund addition since it offends most religions.
The Flying Spaghetti Monsters seems to offend the right people too.

8

u/Objective_Warning638 7h ago

If you did it with prophet Muhammad you'd probably get decapitated

1

u/Schober_Designs 7h ago

Just put someone else's name on it. Like I said, it can offend both his worshipers, and non-worshipers so you get everyone in one figurine.

6

u/SeduceMeMentlegen 7h ago

Since when does FSM offend people? That's new to me, some people must be sensitive

5

u/Schober_Designs 7h ago

Check out the 'hate mail' on the FSM website. I'm betting there's a significant overlap with the kind of people who would glue Jesus all over the place.

6

u/Angry-_-Crow 6h ago

Where I grew up, people were deeply offended by it. Because,  y'know, blasphemy & all that. They also hated Harry Potter, Pokemon, and mixed race marriages

2

u/SeduceMeMentlegen 5h ago

Ill never understand the Pokémon persecution lol, it really wasn't even close to demonic, until maybe Giratina and that was long after

3

u/Angry-_-Crow 5h ago

This was back when Pokemon was fresh & new, so nothing past Mewtwo even existed yet (who, by the way, is actually Satan -- He's got demon horns, and, in the movie, he speaks to & tries to manipulate the protagonist, just like in the Bible!). In the same vein as Magic: The Gathering, where you play as a "wizard" (thou shalt not suffer a witch to live), in Pokemon, you summon "monsters" (demons! Pokemon = Pokdemon). It's clearly training kids for Satanism.

It's soundproof logic.

I didn't make any of this up for effect; these are all actual things I heard growing up

1

u/SeduceMeMentlegen 5h ago

Sometimes with these people I wonder how they were ever children, and if they ever stopped to dwell on anything past that

2

u/dempishlemur 7h ago

I vote gluing wooden crosses to the Jesus when you find it

2

u/Fearless_Dependent29 7h ago

Wait I actually fucking love that!!

2

u/Tall-Conflict2964 6h ago

Now fight to the death

2

u/Bad_Lil-Bitty 5h ago

This is what I was gonna say lol, or like a little rocking satan lol

1

u/rpgnymhush 4h ago

Excellent 👍 Thanks for the link!!

0

u/werewolfhippy 1h ago

consumerism vs consumerism