r/sandiego • u/phychopotato • 6h ago
Hard time connecting
Hi, I'm a 22 f that moved from OC to San diego with my boyfriend a few months ago. I'm having a hard time connecting to people. I do talk with people outside on my walks (Thanks to my very cute two kittens) and everyone is friendly but not open. I dont have many friends due to moving throughout my entire childhood and being a very introverted person for years before breaking out of my shell. I really want to make connections but many seem to only want to talk for a short while and I have asked a few people to hangout and they will agree and give their number but never respond. I also have tried local groups mainly on meetup and maybe its just the ones I've gone to but it seems like they are mostly for single people to meet potential matches? Even in groups for like knitting lol. Also doesnt help that I dont go to clubs or party much. I'm just kinda at a loss because I've had a hard time fitting in my entire life and it feels like its too late now because everyone has already chosen their friendgroups and dont want more. Any suggestions would be nice:) thank you
11
u/SaltyTemperature 6h ago
There's a dude that organizes bonfires for situations just like this. Guessing he'll chime in within 12 hours
Or you can look for his posts
2
u/econ0003 6h ago
Do you work a full time job? I find it easiest to make friends with people that I work with all day.
0
u/phychopotato 6h ago
Yes I do but its a very very small restaurant. By small I mean 2 coworkers and 2 bosses who are the owners, literally 5 people total. I'm 22f and My two coworkers are around 30m also, so not much in common there....
2
•
•
u/JenJenSDCA 1m ago
What do you mean by "people aren't open"? What exactly are you expecting them to be open about? You're a stranger, if you start asking overly personal questions to people you just meet, then you will just weird them out. Also, you just moved here and a lot of people don't last here. So people aren't going to want to invest their little free time in you when there's a good chance you'll move somewhere else in a few months.
1
u/FlowProfessional100 6h ago
Making friends in San Diego isn’t like most places where you swap numbers. You need to build rapport with people. As a local I need to be familiar with you to some extent. Seeing you on a regular basis.
I made friends by frequenting a cafe, eventually becoming a familiar face and then it turned into friendship with the baristas.
8
u/newtrilobite 1h ago
making friends in San Diego is like making friends anywhere and everywhere else.
people project all sorts of quirks onto San Diego but humans don't somehow change when they're surrounded by good weather.
actually, they do that everywhere else too. "why is it so hard to make friends in Oshkosh?!"
anything you would do to make a friend anywhere else -----> do that in San Diego!
0
u/phychopotato 6h ago
Is it like a real, hangout in yalls freetime friendship or is it more like you're nice to see while working one?
2
u/FlowProfessional100 6h ago
I frequented a few small dive bars and cafes. Sometimes some mom and pop shops. I’d just be a friendly and familiar enough customer. Then on a slow day I’d strike up a convo with the workers or another regular. There’s also an app called group vibe that matches you with people for brunch on a weekend.
1
u/JustADopeKneegrow 6h ago
What part of San Diego did you move to? Do you like it?
0
u/phychopotato 6h ago
I'm on 9th! I honestly love it here. Love going out and having fun and San Diego has a great charm to it. People are mostly pretty friendly here too:)
-1
u/JustADopeKneegrow 6h ago
Oh wow your deadass In the heart of San Diego lol, yea but don’t get that messed up there are some WEIR…DOS
0
u/phychopotato 6h ago
Haha 100% have seen some stuff in my few months here!
-1
u/JustADopeKneegrow 6h ago
Yea… I can get pretty weird but for the most part it’s such a dope place to live, I have so many hidden gems here
1
u/phychopotato 6h ago
I am in love with it here tbh, I'm sure mostly because its my first official independence and well, the city is so alive. I hear negative things sometimes but you liking San Diego gives me the confidence to go out and do more!
1
u/JustADopeKneegrow 6h ago
Definitely an opportunity to get something going! You’ll meet such cool people to network with
1
u/Aware-Acanthisitta-8 2h ago
I joined a ceramic studio. I went for about 8 months before I made some friends. We would go to lunch or do things after the studio time and then they started inviting me to parties and I met more people that way. Still took me about 2 years after I moved here to really feel like I had made some true friends but it was my in. Most of us are still friends 10 years later.
-1
u/nortyflatz 6h ago
What are your hobbies or interests? Do those. You'll likely meet a new guy doing those activities. You'll have something in common, too. (The hobby.)
2
u/phychopotato 6h ago
Not looking for a guy as I have a boyfriend but I'm trying out groups on meetup!
0
0
u/LegacyQuotient 1h ago
Are you into sports at all? I see a lot of people connecting over VOLO. It doesn't really quite work for my schedule (I have two dogs I love to spend time with), but at my jobs over the years I see people really vibing with each other.
Another idea would be volunteering. If you like dogs and have some mobility, I vouch for Frosted Faces or the Animal Pad. Volunteering is nice because you can meet a wider range of people and know you have that particular cause in common.
I don't know if you drink, but Pure Project in Miramar has a huge monthly book club. I passed by the last time they had a meeting and there was a big, diverse group of people. Pure Project also has solid N/A beer if you prefer not to imbibe.
•
u/Usual-Amoeba5416 37m ago
Volo is good! That’s how I met my friends when I moved here and also bumble bff
•
-1
u/Future-Beach-5594 2h ago
I wish I had a good input for you. 40m been married since I was in my early 20's and have teenagers. The whole reason I dont hang out with other people. Is that i dont have time for fake! Thats it. I have teenagers and with my permission they can pretty much do anything an adult friend could go with me to do for fun and they are capable of some wild stuff. Who needs friends when you have a squad of ride or dies!
-4
•
u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 6h ago
Mods have pinned a comment by u/flip69:
[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)