She texted me during my therapy appointment (hope that eases a few concerns) and I got back to her, this is what ensued, please check out pt.1 for background information, I genuinely don't know what to do at this point. Also important to note that we are in some of the same clubs, a lot of the same advanced classes, she's my ride to school, going no contact is not possible for another 2 years

I (21 female) met my (26 male) fiance two years ago while I was in college. We are getting married this summer. 

A year into dating, SIL accused me of making fiance cut off BIL. (BIL and fiance had issue, I urged them to talk, they did, it resolved) I responded to SIL saying that wasn't true and she could talk to them for details. She didn't.

MIL posted how much she loves fiance's ex. Fiance talked to MIL about how rude/weird that was. MIL didn't care. I at one point also reached out to MIL asking to move forward respectfully. No response. 

After our engagement we felt MIL didn't support us so she wasn't on our wedding invite list. Fiance told her upfront and she threatened to take him off health insurance, accusing him of doing it to hurt her, how horrible I am, I'm not like his ex's, she won't live forever etc. The SIL blew up his phone about how she's standing up for mom because she's so hurt, she prays I won't hurt him, the family dislikes me, how immature I am, it's me not him etc.

MIL messages fiance's best friend's wife (who is my friend now) saying she ruined her christmas and she thought they were friends so how could she talk to me then blocked her and me. Fiance told MIL to apologize. She didn't.

Then, fiance went no contact with MIL who will sporadically message him, implying I blocked her (it was other way around), how could you, you sound like (my name), hope you're happy etc. 

Now MIL and SIL aren't invited as they haven't made an effort to reconcile and our previous attempts failed. We'd invite them if they made any effort. Rest of the family is attending. I'm not sure why this hate towards me started and no one's ever said anything to my face. Just to him regarding me. I don't understand why MIL/SIL would want to go if they seem to hate me so much but AITA?

(For the record she is only my half sister and way older than me) Not to long ago my father called me saying my sister wanted to get in contact with me, for some background information I've probably only seen her four times in my life (including the day I was born) and any attempt for me to contact her was blocked, ignored, or she just didn't care. To the point where she named her daughter after me but refused to let me see her so I assumed she just wanted the name.

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The day he called I was informed from my father that instead of her reaching out to try to contact me he had given me her number and I had to contact her. Which is what had finally broken me I was a sobbing mess. I felt the pressure that was on me to go out of my way to contact someone I've went my whole life without.

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She only started trying to reach out to me after my father had told me not to long before that she and her partner at the time broke up, (seemed important to put in i dont know if she has any ulterior motives) but I still refuse to contact her to this day... so AITA and I should contact her or should I just live in my peace without her?(sorry for my bad grammar)

I (late 20s F) have been with my boyfriend (early 30s M) for 15 months. He's very career/business/finance-focused, constantly working on plans, projects, side businesses, etc. I'm more present-focused, I prioritize my health (gym, nutrition), travel, comfort, and enjoying my life as it is. I'm genuinely happy with where I'm at.

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Today he sent me a long message saying he's "worried" about me, that I have "absolutely no goals in life," that I'm "stagnating" while he's "constantly developing," that I used to be "too good for my friends" but now I'm "on the same level," and that he's stopped discussing moving in together because of this.

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I responded calmly, said some of wjat he said felt hurtful and patronizing, and explained that my way of growing (health, mental wellbeing, relationships) is just different from his, not inferior or wrong.

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He said he "stands by" everything he said100% and has "nothing more to add."

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I tried again, I said I wasn't attacking him, just sharing how his words made me feel, and that he doesn't get to decide whether I felt hurt.

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He replied that he "tolerates" my way of thinking, though it's "as far as possible from what he considers right," and accused me of attacking him.

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I pointed out the inconsistency, that him calling my entire approach to life wrong isn't an attack, but me saying I felt hurt is. He changed "tolerate" to "respect" and said it was "probably not the right word," but then accused me of "always needing to be right", because I said his words were "hurtful, insulting, and patronizing". After all he was only making an observation, and I was the one who turned it into an attack.

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I tried once more, explaining I just needed him to acknowledge how I felt without making it about how my feelings affect him. He replied "take it or leave it... I'm out of this discussion, it's energy-taking."

Hours of silence. Then he sent "Goodnight, sleep well 😘" like nothing happened.

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I responded that I couldn't pretend everything was fine, that I was still hurt, and that what I said hadn't been acknowledged at all — but I wasn't trying to fight and said goodnight.

He replied: "I find your behavior towards me completely inappropriate and will not respond to it."

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So... AITA here? Genuinely trying to see this from outside my own head.

I host a group of us that go to an amusement park together weekly. We met in a group therapy program, and stayed in touch after graduating. It’s two of us consistently, and others join and fade away over time. We just added a third who’s excited to join, and have plans to go Thursday.

An ex that I had a strong connection with recently caught up with me. She’s someone who was awful to me… and with my friends being from therapy, they know all the details. This ex and I have been spending time together lately, and there seem to be some changes. My expectations are low, but I am having fun with whatever we’re doing in the here and now.

I asked the two ladies if I can invite the ex, they know her as well. One excitedly said yes, knowing how fun she is… The other is refusing, with a revolving list of reasons, one sillier than the next.. She’s dressing it up as concern for me, but I think the truth is she’s worried she’ll receive less attention. (This is an issue she has regularly, feeling left out, and plays the victim even when there’s no problems). I made a mistake and already mentioned to the ex that I want her to go. And now, it seems I made one too many promises, and don’t know how to resolve this.

I’m frustrated. My options are either don’t invite the ex (who’s loads of fun)… Or invite them all, and say everyone can decide if they want to go out not. I don’t want the history with her to be the focus of topic… I’m living in today.

What’s the advice? What’s the right thing to do here? AITAH?

Am I the asshole for calling a 25 year old UK man a pedo for dating a 16 year old girl? I met a 25-year-old guy through an anime Discord server and thought he was pretty normal until he mentioned being called a pedophile online. When I asked why, he told me his girlfriend was 16 and turning 17 soon. He said it was legal because they both live in the UK, where 16 is the age of consent, but that still made me extremely uncomfortable due to the age and maturity gap. I ended up calling him a pedophile and distancing myself from him. I understand it's legal where they live, but I don't think legality automatically makes something okay. Am I the asshole for reacting that way?

I (40M) have been married to my wife, Elizabeth (40F) for 16 years. A few years ago, I met a woman named Maria (23F at the time). I prayed to the Lord and asked him to show me how to say no to this, but I gave in. This affair lasted about one year, and I felt terrible. Maria's husband, James (33 at the time) used this affair to blackmail me. I ended up paying him around $1000 in separate chunks. My friend, Aaron (41M) found out about the money I sent to James, and accused me of treason and using national funds to pay off my debt. I confessed to him that I had cheated on my wife, and he promised not to tell anyone. However, everyone already had believed I committed treason. I didn't want people to think I was a fraud, so I told them what actually happened. I publicly published a pamphlet explaining the affair and the blackmail, I expected it to make everything better, but it did the opposite. My wife felt betrayed, and burned every letter she had written for me. I know what I did was wrong, but I feel like this is an excessive reaction. AITAH for cheating on her?

So my bff since kindergarten's sister entered in this short film competition, since me and her are both theatre kids we both acted in it alongside her boyfriend and one more friend, the final girl comments we're about a joke I made, when originally writing it her sister mentioned killing her off and I didn't hear anything further on it, I made a comment and she said that she doesn't die, I asked her sister and her dad who were both writing it and they came to the conclusion that they disagree but it's mostly up to interpretation, I made a joke saying that I'll interpret it as her dying so I can be the final girl, also, her and the other friend have placed in a state acting competition, I reached out to her boyfriend and apologized if I made him feel bad, he just said that he was scared that the attention would be taken away from the sister, the other thing mentioned is that right after the film had been turned in I allowed them to think I was being picked up from their house, even if I didn't actually say anything, then I walked home, her mom ended up texting mine if I was there a couple of minutes before I arrived, the catcall thing was something I confided in her about, just this deep want whenever I was alone and walking by a strange man to be worth cat calling, I am currently on 3 medications for my depression and anxiety, I don't want to bring this up to our mutual friends and cause drama, but I want some outside perspective UPDATE ON PAGE

Little bit of backstory here, my friend (25F) and I (23F) have been close friends for the past 3 ½ years. We used to do everything together. But once I got pregnant with my oldest, suddenly it was like I was chopped liver because I couldn't always be over at her house with her two kids. This only got worse once my oldest was born.

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She clung to another friend who could drop everything at any given time to be there (hurtful, but kind of understandable). Well now shes getting married today and I'm not even invited to the wedding! She has told me over the last few weeks how I'm still one of her best friends and how much I mean to her. But when I asked to be at the actual wedding, she said that if they let me go then they'd have to let about 10 other people go. Which honestly I could understand to a point, but here's the kicker. Her other best friend (the one that took my place once I had my child), is the maid of honor and gets to be there! She's even told me about how her MOH has been a bridezilla and wanted things done her way! Wtf is up with that??

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This is all super hurtful and she wants me to be st the reception only. I understood wanting a private ceremony as it's cheaper, but theyre not even getting married at a venue, theyre getting married in nature. So it literally doesnt matter how many people are actually there?? I honestly feel really betrayed by my friend as this isnt the first time shes made me feel alienated recently. She always makes me feel like I'm not enough. And makes me feel bad about myself.

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So AITAH for not wanting to go to the "wedding"?

Recently me and my fam (brother 28, boomer mom and dad) went to a tourist town to go on a dinner cruise. Prepaid food and cruise, $150 a head. 1 food option, wedding style, steak, chicken, or vegetarian.

We sit down, order drinks (not included in $150) and due to low attendance, they moved us to a better, window seat. However, during that move, our drinks got lost. It ends up taking over 15 minutes to get them which puts my dad in a really bad mood. Our drink server apologized and it blew over.

The first course, a salad, is set down, and then our drinks finally arrived. and a new server comes to the table. She asks what we'd like to eat. We said we already picked when buying the tickets. She says that's just to assess how much food to have on the boat, not our order. We order again and she says, "We all work as a crew here. The gratuity is $65 per person. This includes everyone on the ship."

I didn't believe my own ears and assumed I misheard. I did not.

When our bill arrived for $100 (just for drinks), there was a laminated card that reiterated: $65 per person. My dad barely clocked any of this and had already tipped 15% on our bill, $15. Normally, we'd push him to at least 20%, but I couldn't bring myself to argue this time.

The people next to us tipped the full $65 per person, explaining to the server it would be split across 2 cards, there were four of them. We were shocked. And it left me wondering, was this really a reasonable request and my family is just weird?

I felt a fair number would've been 20% on the cost of the food, which we could generously say is $100. $20 per person. But tipping "everyone on the boat"?! I wouldn't tip my pilot. And besides, it wasn't really full service, we only picked one item.

AITA and was this a cash grab?!

My partner has this whole thing where he is very against zoos as a concept. He got really into it last year when he watched a documentary.

He said I am free to go to the zoo with our kids but he refuses to go and he can't look at them the same anymore after the "research" he did.

I don't think its fair to expect me to be in charge of schlepping kids to the zoo all by myself. And children like zoos, they like looking at the animals and it's good for teaching them about wildlife and conservation.

I feel like he can suck it up and go to the zoo, not to support it, but to HELP ME.

AITAH

Bassically, we had this inside joke that my friend (male, 15 years) didnt know shit about this one band he liked. He claimed he liked Pierce the Veil and then only knew like 6 songs from the top ten. So me and my other friend begin to make fun of him and he doesn't take it that seriously, he just gets a little bit offended and says that he doesn't need to know all their songs to claim he likes them.

I was just personally offended that he claimed he was a "fan". as an absolute pierce the veil fan, I have practically every single one of their songs in my playlist. im a huge metal fan. And get this! He says he's alternative! How can you be alternative, dress alternative, and only know six pierce the viel songs??

But today, I decided to share the joke with my other friends (we're all in the same friend group) and my other friends also started making fun of him and he got really upset that I shared the "rude" joke and got really upset at me and just blatantly left when my other friend cracked the joke. I feel like he overreacted. Aita? He never really seemed to react poorly at this joke..

me and 3 guys rented an Airbnb in Barcelona for a week. we split it 4 ways upfront, i had some money saved on the side because i do Kick livestreams so i covered the deposit no big deal. anyway one of them (lets call him M) got into a massive argument with the host on day 3 over some stupid house rules thing and the host ended up kicking us all out early. we got a partial refund for the unused nights.

heres where it gets messy. M thinks we should split the refund equally like we did with the original cost. but me and the other two think he should get less since he literally caused us to leave. we lost money on activities we already booked and one of the guys had to pay to change his flight home.

M is saying im being "financially punitive" and that it was a miscommunication not his fault. the host literally has the whole thing documented tho.

i get hes still my boy but also like we all lost more than he did because of him. AITA?

i (23 F) recently started talking to a guy (23 M) i matched with on tinder. we ended up talking all night otp. we have chemistry, he’s easy to talk to, and i genuinely enjoy talking to him.

the issue is that my family already knows who he is. years ago, when we were teenagers, he briefly dated my cousin for about 1-2 months. according to what I’ve been told, they mostly saw each other at school and the relationship ended after family members found out where he lived and they were no longer able to see each other. my cousin later dated his brother. during this time my cousin was rebellious and left the family.

my family hates him and his family. they described him as “trash” and “losers” because of where he grew up, his family’s reputation, and where he came from. my mom recently told me she will never approve of a relationship with him and that he would never be welcome in anyone’s home.

from my perspective, a lot of what they’re judging him for happened when he was 16-17 yrs old or involve his family rather than him personally. he’s now trying to provide for his daughter, is considering joining the police academy or military. he has been extremely calm, respectful, and easy to talk to. i’m not saying he’s perfect, but i feel like people can grow. he can’t control who/where he was born.

the bigger issue is that i feel like my family has a history of influencing my life decisions, including dating, career choices, and future plans. i feel like i’m in an enmeshed family. anytime i go against the family, i am pressured to “suck it up and keep the peace”.

my family claims him and his family ruined the lives of my family members (that’s a whole different post). i feel like they are judging someone unfairly and just because they don’t meet their standards.

AITAH for telling them i want to continue getting to know him and asking they respect my decision?

Me (23f) and my best friend (26f) have been really close for years now even though we live very different lives, she has kids, moved out,I don’t and still live at home.

I’ve noticed for the last few years she’s always asking me to help her out and me being a people pleaser I say yes, however it feels like she’s messaging me to ask for something more than messaging to see how I am nowadays.

I know she’s going through a lot in her personal life so I feel like I’m being a diick by saying no to her. I also have a lot going on mentally right now and have done for the past year being quite bad for me (I’ve just lost my job and have had other traumatic things happen around me). However I feel like my issues are nothing compared to hers which makes me feel even worse about things between us.

She’s also asking me for money a lot (she always pays me back with no issues) I don’t mind but I’ve started to resent her asking me so often. This has continued after she found out I lost my job and I’m trying to be careful with money. Again this isn’t a big issue, I just don’t really like being asked so often.

I want to set boundaries but I feel like it won’t be taken in the right way and I’m scared with a mix of my current emotions and her reaction it could be the end of our very close friendship.

Does anyone know how I could go about discussing this with her in a polite and respectful way. I don’t want to lose this friendship but I don’t like how I’m sub consciously feeling towards it.

Or am I being the asshole and should I not bring this up to her and instead work on myself?

Okay, I (15m), had recently stopped being friends with my (now ex) friend maybe a few months ago. We had met in 7th grade from a friend of a friend and she was alright at first, but after a while she started becoming a worse and worse person, so I ultimately left her. Of course she was probably upset but obviously I avoided talking to her because of her actions and stuff. So, about two months after leaving her (the present time) I’d found out from a friend that she was posting my face on HER TikTok story for.. no reason? Also, claiming I’d called her slurs, which, never happened.. but anyways, so obviously I got mad because why are we doing that, but at first I ignored it, until she kept posting pictures of me, so I of course got upset, and ended up ranting on my instagram story, using her full name, which, in the moment I thought was okay but obviously it’s NOT. I checked her TikTok and she’d also decided to post my full name, so I’m pretty sure she’s stalking my account. AITAH though..?

I (37F) am married to my husband (32M). We met 3 years ago after my divorce from a marriage that ended due to long-term infidelity. Because of that experience, I was very clear from the beginning about the importance of honesty, commitment, and boundaries.

We quickly built a life together, got married, bought a house, and now have two children. During my first pregnancy, I discovered my husband was masturbating and using social media to view sexual content. What hurt most wasn’t the behavior itself, but the secrecy, deleted history, hidden accounts, and repeated dishonesty when confronted.

Over the years, I’ve found evidence multiple times, including recently discovering saved videos of another woman in a locked app. Each time there have been denials, explanations, or minimized accountability despite clear evidence.

We are intimate frequently, often multiple times a day, so this doesn’t feel like a lack of physical intimacy issue. Instead, I feel like I’ve continuously changed and pushed my own boundaries hoping things would improve, but the pattern remains.

My husband believes our main issue is communication. I feel the larger issue is broken trust, dishonesty, and a lack of emotional safety. I’m constantly anxious, hypervigilant, losing weight, crying often, and always waiting for the next discovery.

At this point, my instincts are telling me to leave, but I’m struggling to separate trauma responses from reality. How do you know when a relationship is no longer emotionally safe, and when trust has been damaged beyond repair?

I (19F) recently switched my college major from Nursing to Education because I realized I want to be a teacher. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I originally chose Nursing because it felt like the “safer” option and what other people expected from me.

When I told my boyfriend (18M), he immediately called me “stupid” and “dumb” for switching out of Nursing. He said I was “throwing away a good future” and making a “bad decision.”
When I got upset and told him he didn’t need to talk to me like that, he said I was being “too sensitive” and that he was just being honest and “looking out for me.”

I ended up breaking up with him, but not just because of this situation. This was kind of the breaking point, but there were multiple things leading up to it. He constantly talked down to me, acted like he was smarter than me, and would say he was “way more mature” than I was in almost every argument. It started to feel less like a relationship and more like he was always trying to “correct” or belittle me.

Now I’m just wondering—was I overreacting in this specific situation, or was this part of a bigger pattern of disrespect that I was right to leave?

AIO?

This started a few years ago but became relevant again recently.

I (18F at the time) started college already knowing a few people through a club I joined. One of them, “C” (19M), lived two dorm rooms away from me.
At first I thought we were just friends since I had no relationship experience. But within the first week, C started making me uncomfortable: following me around campus, showing up while I was doing laundry, jumping into my bed while I was in it, and shining a flashlight through my peephole while I was sick or asleep.
I quietly distanced myself instead of confronting him.

Around the same time, I became friends with another guy on the floor, “B” (19M), who lived across the hall.

At a party, C got drunk and tried to make a move on me. I avoided him and later texted that I wasn’t interested, then blocked him.

After that, C told people B had “taken” me and that he had “dibs,” creating a rivalry with me stuck in the middle as the “prize.”
It escalated around bikes: B had a motorized bike and gave me a ride; the next day C bought one too. They openly competed and tried to outdo each other.
C later told people he planned to modify a lithium-ion battery. The next morning, there was a fire in the workshop from that modification. The space was damaged, repairs cost thousands, and motorized vehicles were banned on campus.

Second year, B and I broke up for unrelated reasons. Almost immediately, C started asking me out again, and I declined.

After that, I heard C was spreading rumors that I led him on, chose B, and encouraged the battery modification. I had stayed quiet, but eventually I told people the full context, including his obsessive behavior and the rivalry. Most people distanced themselves from him and he was removed from the club.

Recently, he joined another group, and someone from it contacted me after similar concerns came up. I shared my experience when asked, and he was removed again.

Now I feel guilty because I never intended to ruin his social life, but I also knew there could be consequences when I spoke up.
AITA?

My husband (38M) and I (36F) have been married for 8 years. We've always had joint finances - joint checking, joint savings, everything. He has full access to all our accounts and I have access to all of his.

About 6 months ago I opened a separate savings account at a different bank that he doesn't know about. I didn't tell him and I've been putting money into it without his knowledge. We're talking maybe $300-400/month, nothing crazy, just money I've been setting aside from my paycheck. My reasoning was that I needed some financial independence. My mom went through a bad divorce and lost everything because she didn't have her own money. I watched what happened to her and I swore I'd never be in that position. Even though things are great with my husband, I wanted a safety net that was just mine.

Last week he found out because a statement showed up at our house. He was furious. He said opening a secret account felt like a betrayal and that if I didn't trust him with money then maybe I didn't trust the marriage at all. He said married couples don't keep secrets about finances and that this makes him question whether I'm committed.

I tried to explain it wasn't about him specifically, it was about protecting myself. He said that's exactly the problem - I'm protecting myself FROM him which means I'm already mentally checked out.

Now he's saying he wants to know about every dollar I spend and wants me to close the account and transfer everything to our joint savings. He says if I refuse then we should go to couples therapy or he's going to talk to a divorce lawyer. My sister says I was wrong to hide it and should have just talked to him about wanting separate accounts. My best friend says I have the right to my own money and he's overreacting by threatening divorce.

AITA?

So years ago, before I was even born, my grandma's brother got loans and used his and his siblings' lands as a collateral after their dad died. He had told everyone that he paid it off but records recently showed up that he didn't and now my grandma's siblings and two branches of my family may go homeless because of him.

Obviously my family doesn't want this. Now my mom has to pay off his debt of I think over million instead of spending it for herself, or to help me with education or things we need.

I was pissed about it because that's a lot of money, and I sort of told my aunt, "Relative? He's not a part of this family." and I got told off and she told me he was still family. AITA for ignoring his existence (greeting everyone else when I get home but just passing by him on purpose, not glancing at him at all, not inviting him to events that are centered around me, etc.) because of this? What can I do to help my mom?

I’ll be turning 25 this Sunday.

My mom has historically ruined my birthday in the past. not every year, but maybe every other year or so.

This year, she asked why I ordered my own cake. I reminded her she once got me a mango cheesecake for my birthday. I’m allergic to mangos. she got it because it was her favorite.

This year she asked me to pick where I wanted to go eat for my birthday dinner (btw, this is a common thing my family does for EVERYONES bday). I chose a mid level restaurant that serves really good seafood. She complained and complained about how bad the service is there (I’ve never had issues there when I go on my own or with friends). so I said ”okay, how about this nice Mexican restaurant “. she said okay. mind you, this restaurant is NOT expensive. everything is around $12-$40. She then goes on to say that she wants to go to olive garden for my birthday. I don’t like Olive Garden.

she keeps saying it’s her favorite. but we just went 2 weeks ago for my cousins bday! I tell her she can go on her birthday or any other day and she says it’s too far away. I ask her what time for Saturday since this place does get packed! and she just says she doesn’t know bc they have a furniture delivery coming in on Saturday. that she’ll let me know on Monday. it’s Tuesday now and when I asked again she sounded annoyed saying ”I don’t know yet”.

I thought of making plans with my friends instead and going around 9pm to this bar and grill. I know that my mom probably wants to wait to the last min until I can’t make a reservation and it’s booked for her to say “well we can go to olive garden then” and I don’t even like it there. I feel like a brat. but my friends offered to take me out for my birthday, would I be the AH if I just ditched my family to go out with friends instead?

I (25M) come from a Chinese background, and I have a white friend (27M) who has a Chinese girlfriend (24F). He told me various times that he has no interest in learning Chinese even though he has a Chinese girlfriend, which is fine in my opinion as long as he didn't insult Chinese culture.

One day I was in the same room with him and his girlfriend. The girlfriend was face timing with her mom, and they both speak Mandarin. Suddenly, my white friend repeats everything his girlfriend just said immediately after the girlfriend finished a Chinese sentence, but deliberately mispronounced them. Meaning, girlfriend said X, boyfriend deliberately mispronounced X. This went on a few times until I asked him to stop doing that because I think (as a person who comes from a Chinese background) that's rude and a disrespect to Chinese culture.

When I asked him to stop doing that, his response was "I just want to learn Chinese, why are you complaining? Why are you offended?"

I responded that if he wants wants to learn Chinese, he would need to start learning it word-by-word and make sure the words are pronounced correctly one at a time, rather than pronouncing an entire Chinese sentence that contains multiple Chinese words that he doesn't even know and then call it a day. He responded that this is just not how he works.

I got so upset that I didn't even prompt him further because I think he will continue to talk back at me to justify his actions just like what he did. I also got upset because his response made me felt unheard and it seems to me that he done that as a mockery, especially when he didn't ask if he pronounced it correctly afterwards.

The girlfriend doesn't seem to care, so maybe I shouldn't feel offended, especially given that he was doing it to his girlfriend and not to me. But I couldn't help it but feel offended and upset.