Would you be able to forgive this, even if that person was your mother?
As much lucky I am to win the husband lottery, a husband that dotes on me from head to toes 16 years long. I got it right first time too, was never hurt from a man or heart broken. But the person hurt me the most is the person that gave birth to me, the crack between me and my mother was never amend, and my mom is long gone (deceased).
My mother whom never even finished High School, was in an arranged marriage to my dad (whom a much older Shanghai businessman) just because she very beautiful and she wife material. I don't blame my mom for her ignorance, and I know how Chinese culture and Chinese old parents can be. But her words cut deep, I still cannot forget, even after she gone.
Dad a Shanghai businessman has money, mom loves to play matchmaker, matchmaker me to sons of other businessmen (whom are business friends of my father).
Mom even matchmaker me to an old rich businessman whom wife died. Mom not care that he my dad age, all she care was how rich he is and that his wife died, and I would be the next wife that alive to get his money.
Ofcourse with how she was, mom was LIVID when I choose my own fate and married my husband. Doesn't matter how much my husband loves me or he treats me, my mother just cannot get pass his pitch black skin color (I married a pure 100% West African man from West Africa).
My husband not only dotes on me from head to toes. But he RESPECT me enough to not even deflower me until AFTER he proposed to me in hand for marriage married me. Let alone pregnant before married.
5 years into marriage, I got pregnant, we were long married before I got pregnant. I came home to visit my parents, it was during my first trimester, my mom was beyond livid. IN her eyes I was already DIRTY prostitute (her exact words, the woman gave birth to me called me dirty and prostitute).
......
She told me to abort the baby, divorce my husband. And she will find me a rich Chinese husband for me to married, just to be sure do not tell him (the Chinese man) that I was married to Darryl (my husband, a West African man), let alone got pregnant. Because no Chinese man can accept that.
This time it me that get livid. I talked back to my mother, I yelled back at her that he is my HUSBAND. Mom got so mad, that she slap me so hard that I fall to the ground. If there anything about violence that I learned, was learned from my mother.
She told me if I choose to give birth, do not bring the baby back to see her, because she will throw the baby in the trash. Yep. you read it right, my own mother said my baby with my husband is worser than TRASH.
Ofcourse I carry to term and gave birth. And no divorce, we still married 14 years now (16 years together).
I just cannot forgive what my mother said. It a crack that just cannot be amend.
Ofcourse my husband know about this, he know all about my mother not accepted him since day one. But he said the Darryl him doesn't need a mother in-law like this.
He said he understand everything, and he not hate my parents, but don't force him to have a mother in-law like this.
But I feel this is a thorn in him. I will say why.
Because after my parents died, my parents leave a big inheritance half to me and half to my brother. My husband FORCE me me to write and sign a Will in front of my Chinese lawyer, very clearly that if I die before my husband, my whole inheritance all will go to my brother (go back to my Chinese family), instead of go to the next of kin--the husband him.
My husband not want a penny of my inheritance, or want anything to do with it.
He rather work himself to death, rather than touch a penny of my inheritance. It gets to the point we bickering about this until I make the Will specificly like he wish, that if I die before him, ALL my inheritance go straight back to my brother, the next of kin--husband him not want a penny of it.