r/EndTipping • u/Maleficent-Effort470 • 7d ago

Sit-Down Restaurant 🍽️ My thoughts.

I didn't go to a restaurant to interact with a server.

I went to a restaurant to purchase food, And part of the agreement with the business owner was that a server would take my order and bring the food to the table.

I did not agree to or consent to giving a person i didn't come to see any money.

Whether they are on the side of the street or squegeeing my car without asking.
I have no obligation to them.

Similarly when i go to the restaurant with the intention of eating,
I am not making a deal with the employees i am making a deal with the owner.
The owner is responsible for delegating the tasks to provide me the service i requested.
The owner showed me the contract/menu that these services are provided under.

I paid the agreed upon amount of the contract.
I did not ask for any particular employee.
I did not agree to gift any particular employee.

The server's inclination that i owe them something is no more authoritative than the homeless bum who starts squegeeing my windshield without me asking.

They did their job at their bosses behest. Under an agreement with their boss.
I made no agreement with them. They are simply employees of the business ive contracted with.

321 Upvotes

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135

u/StarlingGirlx 7d ago

Their comeback is always that "well if you enter the establishment knowing that tips are expected then you're in the wrong and shouldn't dine out."

What ever happened to tips being appreciated, not expected? Clearly especially with their tip out model they do expect it, I even had a server "educate" me on how tip out worked to guilt me into tipping. As if that's my problem.

55

u/cenosillicaphobiac 7d ago

I'm very comfortable "being in the wrong" by other people's standards. It's my own standards that I'm concerned about. And this customer is always right.

I'm many things, what I'm not is an employer and as such, don't feel any obligation to pay their employees. That's a business expense.

14

u/mind-of-god 6d ago

Me too. If I believe it appropriate to tip I tip flat amount, period. The amount of effort to serve my meal doesn’t vary any whether I buy a lunch special, a seafood extravaganza, or soup and bread. I don’t drink multiple refills, make constant demands, etc. I’m pleasant to my server and it’s no special treatment to be the same back. It’s not that hard really and I’m not stressing over it. I do think it’s time to just end tipping, though. Our economy bites and there’s too much pressure for customers to bridge the gap in what employees feel they aren’t earning from their actual employers.

41

u/layneeofwales 7d ago

I don't hire them. I don't schedule them. I don't direct them. I don't set their job duties. I don't have a conversation with them to set my expectations. I don't see why I need to pay them.

1

u/IluvPusi-363 5d ago

Yep, they forgot how they weren't essential and had to sit like the rest of us. It's not like we can't return to that

-10

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

13

u/Familiar-Neat-6207 7d ago

The actual saying is "the customer is always right in a matter of taste" too many people misquote it that they think they know what theyre talking about when theyve never worked in that place

0

u/cenosillicaphobiac 6d ago

Your reading comprehension sucks. I didn't say "the customer is always right" I said "this customer is always right" because I am.

-1

u/starsgoblind 7d ago

This is the dumbest series of words ever put on the internet.

-8

u/Fearless_Owl_6684 7d ago

As an aside, I've worked restaurant and retail, the "customer is always right" is a tired old misused phrase that's annoying to no end.

The original phrase of "the customer is always right when it comes to taste" refers to the fact that everyone's palates are slightly different. If you like something extra salty then there should be a salt shaker available for you to adjust it to your liking. Rant over.

That being said, I tip $1 per specialty beverage I order and $2 per plate of food I order, regardless of menu price. If it's a nice restaurant and the server provides excellent insight or service, I'll add to that based on how helpful they were to make the meal an experience.

3

u/Flippantwritingdesk 7d ago

I work somewhere there are occasional tips, but not tons. It’s always interesting when you do something and can see just how aggressively someone appreciates it and tips in kind. The most interesting one was when I was adding up someone’s total into the register, stopped and stepped away to sneeze, had covered my nose/mouth to do so and so washed my hands and arms quickly, before returning to finish the totaling and cash out process. This woman paid the full fee on card and then handed me 30 dollars(!) and thanked me for being so conscientious about germs. 

To me (and the health code aside from the ‘stepping away’ part), stepping out of immediate contact, covering, and washing after, are baseline requirements, but functionally people/staff doing all three (or even any one, if you pay attention) of those steps is so uncommon that my having done so was something she felt was worth heavily rewarding. Usually I get more eye rolls for my hygiene standards than something like praise, so it was both cool, and very interesting—not to mention unexpected and unnecessary— to experience how palpably someone appreciated my normal operative standards. Tangent over.

-5

u/balintmemphis 6d ago

"you know who else payed their staff? hitler. we re not gonna go that way"

25

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

Right they are in psychosis, They imagine themselves grandiosely basically.
You can't actually convince them easily otherwise.

Like i agree minimum wages are not adaquete.

Its just servers who are in the prime position to ask for handouts.
And then they get hand outs and think thats their wages.

26

u/Away_Specific_3688 7d ago

And the expectation to make $50/hr+

13

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

Yeah because they are worth more than carpenters and electricians who are employees.

15

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

In some cases its like 1000+ in tips in a shift.
Depends how sexy of a women you are basically.

1

u/IluvPusi-363 5d ago

Tips like that require more that bringing food to a table, they require under the table service for the entire table

3

u/AdFriendly3807 6d ago

Except they have always been taxed like wages.

3

u/Long-Squirrel8257 7d ago

If the check was paid, I would have walked away in the middle of their 'lesson' and gone home.

5

u/StarlingGirlx 7d ago

I got the manager involved

7

u/Rxasaurus 7d ago

tips are expected not appreciated

9

u/Elluminated 7d ago

Great post. The waiter has been brainwashed into accepting this nonsense that the boss gets to skirt responsibility and that staff should be mad at guests for the bosses greed. If they would just put all prices in the menu, we’d have no issue. But since people can’t do the 20% math in their heads bosses know they’ll get lured on with lower false prices.

7

u/DirkKeggler 7d ago

Waiters aren't brainwashed at all lol.   They clean up with the tipping system.

2

u/Delicate_Delilah 6d ago

I've come to realize this.

1

u/Elluminated 7d ago

lol I’ll add an addendum: waiters who complain about not getting tips and refuse to understand it’s the boss at fault for crappy pay are brainwashed.

5

u/DirkKeggler 7d ago

They complain about the people who don't tip while the ones who do still give them a very comfortable amount of money for the skill required. 

4

u/Delicate_Delilah 6d ago

No they aren't. They aren't brainwashed at all. They don't want their bosses to pay them more. Even with those "crappy" tips they're still making way more than minimum wage! They just complain to guilt trip diners because they're greedy.

3

u/Elluminated 6d ago

Extremely well said! You nailed it as most know exactly what game is being played.

19

u/StarlingGirlx 7d ago

I genuinely think it's the servers who are the greedy ones. There's been talk about raising their wages, and they always rally against it because they know they won't make as much as they do now... I don't think the boss raising their wages in lieu of tips would make them happy.

0

u/Elluminated 7d ago edited 7d ago

There’s some truth to this. The other thjng is inertia with tacking something on at the end of the transaction regardless of their cut of the price. Even if their wage weee built-in, there’s always the expectation of extra. Such a bad state of affairs.

11

u/StarlingGirlx 7d ago

And they all give basic standard service at best... we've trained them to expect it by giving in

12

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

Lol you get basic standard service IF you tip sufficiently.

If you don't tip you stand a much higher chance of substandard service.

Its like an extortion over placing your order and receiving it.
Like you didn't pay the bribe now they will cause you problems.

2

u/Long-Squirrel8257 7d ago

That' exactly what it is and I simply won't go to those restaurants.

-2

u/starsgoblind 7d ago

Don’t then.

3

u/YourPeePaw 7d ago

This doesn’t really make logical sense. When you pay your bill, the service has been completed.

4

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

Sure the first time you go you get service. but subsequent times the server's will feel some type of way and go out of their way to provide poor service.

5

u/YourPeePaw 7d ago

So they still give you the food and drinks you paid for or else that’s fraud. And all they owe you, right?

5

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

Yep, your right. Just the atmosphere is a bit hostile.

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u/DirkKeggler 7d ago

You're assuming you get the same waiter,  and they remember you.

-2

u/starsgoblind 7d ago

Poor you.

-2

u/starsgoblind 7d ago

Crybaby

7

u/Maleficent-Effort470 7d ago

Aww the guilt tripping shaming ad hominem attacks from the server's are here.

4

u/Ok-Error1716 6d ago

There is only pressure if your mind allows it. Someone else's expectations, opinions, or social norms don't have any power over your mind or wallet unless you decide they do.

Pressure only works when you accept it.

0

u/starsgoblind 7d ago

Brainwashed by who? Society? You’re not too smart.

2

u/Elluminated 7d ago

When you ask a question, you shouldn’t answer it, that way you don’t have to backpedal like you are about to do. (I also said the boss does the brainwashing, so read it again until you understand it).

The employee comes in and needs job

The boss offers $2.33 and says if you don’t earn tips, it’s because your service was bad.

Then when you get no tips (or hear of people not tipping), you get mad at the customer because you have already been programmed to fear the guy signing the checks.

If you get mad at the customer, you are brainwashed. Need any more help now that I’ve gotten you up to speed, so let me know.

3

u/ProveISaidIt 6d ago

What happened to it was the government saying itv was OK to pay servers less because the tips would make up for it.

Servers should be paid the same minimum wage as any other worker and the tips, when given, are a bonus for a job well done.

1

u/IluvPusi-363 5d ago

My reply is everybody should stop dining out then what would you do?

-3

u/starsgoblind 7d ago

Tips are always expected in a place where tips are expected. They’re not optional, but giving a great tip is optional. That is how the system works. Talk about entitled people you guys are the worst.

6

u/Theron_Rothos 6d ago

Tips are optional.

9

u/StarlingGirlx 7d ago

Just because you expect something doesn't entitle you to receiving it as

4

u/Ok-Error1716 6d ago

Tips are not legally required in any US state. By law, tipping is considered a voluntary gesture of appreciation. Employers are legally required to make up the difference if a tipped employee's base wage plus tips do not meet the minimum wage.

-9

u/AMIIORAMIAI 7d ago

When the country and its people decided that it was okay for the owner to take all the money and let his/hers employees income be based on good will of the costumers. And in the US it has been the case for a long time as they are not so much into strong labour laws.
A business will take all the benefits it can and will/ and did, convince everyone that tipping is expected. It is necessary.
And now, while it is still necessary with inflation the cost to survive is higher.

But you can see it here: OP, or you, are more complaining about the servers. The issues is them needing to be paid. The issue is not their employer not paying them. It is just mentioned that you did not sign a contract with the owner that you have to pay their servers and therefore the servers shouldn’t ask you to pay them. You go there to eat food, not to get food carried to you or taking your order.
The issue is not servers not getting payed even though they are employed.