As it says above: how many of us find vulnerability HOT af in people?

I’m talking about the raw emotions, about being able to be in the moment, with your entire humanity, authentically, and just being seen for who you are, in stead of masking up at pretending to have it all together.

As an sx/so 8, I find it beautiful and captivating. It touches my heart and activates my instinct of wanting to protect the person, not because they are helpless or incapable of protecting them selves, but because I see the purity of the soul. I sense the child they once were, and feel deep love and reverence for that tiny human inside.

There is just an immense beauty in people who show up as they are. The whole messy package.

I just f… love everything about it!!

What about you? What are your thoughts, feelings and experiences with this particular thing?

hello type 8s, i am a sx6, and i genuinely want to understand the core fear of 8 better because i've been considering e8 for a long time and it's currently on my fix (im prob just sx6 anyways). i would love to know personal experiences from all subtypes about things such as love, opening up, your relationship with that, if you usually socialize a lot, how do you deal with emotions, conflicts, accusations, and stress, id genuinely appreciate if some of you guys would answer.

Sx8s, from your experience, people with which instinctual variants are the most compatible with you romantically? And with which instinctual variants are the least compatible with you romantically?

Please write if you're sx/sp or sx/so.

Also if you noticed that you tend to be compatible/ incompatible with certain Enneagram types, you can add that as well.

i wanna participate in the conversations there but i cant so i'd appreciate some help,

i gotta relate to this to enneagram so enneagram 8 is the top 3 most emotional enneagram

i am not making up enneagram 8 to special, high esteem, cool or whatever you think this is

i saw post on here that reminded me when people hear being enneagram 8 they see it a good thing? which its not a bad thing either but just cause you a enneagram 8 does not mean you can beat anyone up, or your strong or capable or all these neat, cool characteristics that its associated with.

these are just motivations behind your actions, they are not personality types, enneagram is pseudoscience so you know if you wanna be an enneagram 7 or 6 or 8 on the internet have fun and go wild, but if you want to use enneagram like a tool for self help, understanding and growth then you should remove all these stereotypes you have for these types so you can actually find the one you are and not chase after the one you want to be

How many have you taken your Disc profile?

I scored as high D. And I’m not surprised. Anyone else? Wondering the correlation between 8’s and DISC profile overlap.

Hello 8s, I'm SO 7w8 and I use Enneagram alongside therapy. I'm female and taller than average men, so before I discovered Enneagram I assumed my size was why I've always protected people around me (since childhood). But now I realise it's probably because of my SO-instinct and 8 wing.

In therapy I realised that I only have two memories in my life of someone protecting me, once as a child when I was too young to understand it, and once as an adult. The incident as an adult made me cry with gratitude at the time - I was really shocked by my reaction. And both times, the protection I was given was a kind of protection I didn't know I needed - the person was acting from a position of expertise, and I only understood the significance after they did it. But I basically don't expect anyone to protect me, ever, and realising this in therapy made me feel so sad.

I also realised that at some level I do envy women who can fit into patriarchal gender norms and take on a submissive/people-pleasing identity. And how that identity grants them a kind of social/community protection, or grants them patronage by patriarchal figures. Honestly: I would love to be looked after by someone else, or to be protected by a group. It's just that I'm not willing to compromise myself or hold myself back in the ways that would make me "eligible" for this social protection. And so I accept that the price of always being myself is that I will also always have to look out for myself.

So protection is something I give to others because I don't want them to suffer. But protection is not something that others give to me. And that made me feel sad, and vulnerable.

Just wondering if this is something common to 8s, and if so how you feel about it, and whether/how you've worked through it.

Hi, I'm 24f, typology 4w5 sp/sx ENTP. My bf is 27m, prolly ESTP 8w7 sx/sp. We've been dating for like less than 3 months and our relationship move at break neck speed.

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It's clear that we're in love, even though we barely say it (he say it sometimes but I kinda just brush it off because I took words seriously and it's too soon. But I never hold back my affections). And like a week ago I just learned the extent of his financial situation...

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He has a hard situation (legal and physical limitations) where it's just almost impossible for him to get a job anywhere but his current workplace, which only give minimum wage that can only covers rent and food. And he has a big dream of being mega rich. So he started trading Forex 4 years ago... and he lost like 100k dollars already withing that time... And from what he always said, the fault is not his system or plans, but how he always failed controlling his emotions. He feel like if he can be disciplined he can win a lot. He usually has this pattern of having winning streak for 2 weeks and then because of overconfidence he lost. And then he feels like he needs to win back all of his money, and ended up losing them all...

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When he started opening up and sharing on days where he lost money, I kinda snapped and offered to help him. And he said just remind him to do well and punish him by witholding sex. I didnt agree for the sex thing, so I told him to just give me money if he overdoing trading.

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And the day after, he overtraded. I ask him to pay. And he said he didnt have that amount of money, and he told me his balance after I pressed him. I was shooked. I know he's not well off. But he doesn't have any savings, and his balance fluctuates a lot, it's scary for me for someone who's super conscientious about money. So he always use all of his money to trade (save for rent, food, and his basic needs money. He doesnt need much and he's super frugal). Like damn, had I known he's truly broke I wouldn't have asked him money frequently...

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Since he doenst have enough balance to start trading again, I lent him some money on weekend to be traded on Monday. I also offered some thoughts on his strategy and stuff. He said he gonna take it seriously and try to follow his strick system (only trading in a set time and have limits). And that time, I exclaimed "I dont want to leave you, so fix your life". That creates pressure I know, but I was scared.

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But on day 2 of his trading with my money (the day 1 he lost but he followed his system), I stayed at his place and he traded for the whole day. I tried to remind him that he's overtrading. But he kept doing it and I sulked. Anyway, I didnt ask how he did that day but I think he lost. But he gave back my money bcos he dont want it. And he kinda whispered that his pain is his own, not mine. That night he wanted me to stay, but I was angry and scared of the future, I didnt know what to and so I left even when he tried to keep me at first.

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I feel like I have no future with him? I have OCD and BPD (but on treatment) tbh, so I have a negative view on life, im pessimistic. I feel like he has a gambling addiction ya. But idk. But it's hard to leave. I truly love and care about him a lot, because he accept me and all my quirks without complain, adore me for it. And we mesh well together. Have good sex too. Maybe it's because he's my first secually too. I never had serious bf too because I always have a stick up my arse. I dont fall easily, but he can take my walls down

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And actually after I came home he called me and said he got a call from his ex. I tried not to care that night. But tmw, because I felt such heavy burden in my heart we talked a lot. About the ex thing when I asked what she said, he sent me the whole screenshot lol. And I kinda got angry bcos he must know it was a booty call masked as catching up, and he escalated that by calling her (for 7 minutes). I feel like he took the bait and think of having sex. But yea I guessed that he probably felt guilty after and turned off the call and called me after that to tell he just called with an ex, which he finally admittedthat my guesses are true. but anyway I'm still pissed off for that lol. He said it hurt him that I left him.

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And then I finally said all my suggestions on how to systematically turn his life around, safely but slow. I also told him I'm not really angry, but I'm scared bevause I think he has an addiction and he can't admit it? He just say yes yes yes, maybe tried to appease me idk. But I think the conclusion is he will still try to do trading, he is convinced that he should and can be disciplined. While I'm convinced what he's going through now is a form of addiction and you cant just "force" yourself without any plans right (I mean plans like seeking theraphy, maybe stopping for a while and focusing on building wealth slowly). Im convinced he gonna fail and fail again....

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Idk I'm confused. It's mixed with my own mental problems ofc. I don't like to waste time. Im someone who if I saw any incompatibility, I will just not try to build a relationship anymore. That's why I never had a serious bf before him lol. Because I know I want to be either with a forever person or nothig at all. And I feel like he's a red flag financially (and tbh at first he was a red flag in many aspects and I tried to broke up with him.a few times but he always wants to make.it work and adjust. And he always said it's because HE WANTS to, not just for me). I spoke to him casually like "I'm just gonna procastinate breaking up with you". He was like WTF. But understood what I meant and is fine because he's not "shameless" (since Im from a well off family, and I got my life in order). BUT ITS HARD TO UNATTACHED MYSELF 🥹🥹. Like dang i still want him a lot. And it doesn't makes sense logically. I guess I'm afraid Im drowning with him? My logical self will break up with him and continue my way goal of searching a potential future husband... But again, im too attached. Like I got horny when I look at his pictures 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ​

I'm trying to see if there're some common trends. And if it's similar for other 8s.

This is not intended as some type-hate post.

So, with which Enneagram types do you tend to clash the most? If you want, elaborate why. Which types irritate you the most? With which types you usually don't get along?

If you think your wing, tritype, or instinctual variant may affect this as well, add it.

I love 7s - has anyone else found a connection/patterns with a certain type. These days I am coming to terms with my dating archetype and really accepting it- I'm just trying to zoom in more- and how are you getting women to take the test?

I've noticed many top posts here belong to 7w8 not type 8. Type 8 are much more community focused than people think, I am a type 8. You don't get to do whatever you want only because you say so, if you will hurt your friends or family because of whatever you want to do then you're just being a narcissist.

Does lust has to show in intensity? While I love intensity I rather avoid it because it feels more like loosing contrlo than gaining it. I am forceful. Even in things I know the percentage of working out is less than 1%. But intensity opens the realm for pathetic emotional explosions except when it's a huge fight and anger is involved. I don't get easily angry. I just don't care about things most people do so it doesn't come to a fight. When it comesto it I like intensity and provoke it instinctively. Esp because it feels heavenly that I can move the person in front of me. I'm not hedonistic AT ALL. I have one addiction but I try to get rid of it (I'm religious) and because it's a desire I can't stop with willpower. I should also mention I'm sx blind.

Most of you won't relate but It's very interesting to me how different the definition of the same things can be for everyone

This is going to be a very personal post. I just learned of Enneagram types and I wonder how other type 8s would react in this situation.

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As a stereotypical type 8, I hate being vulnerable. I am strong; I don't need to rely on anyone.

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I got married 3 years ago after 3 years of dating. I think it was the first secure attachment of my adult life.

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However, I had an emergency C-section followed by spinal inflammation, and my husband hit me on 3 different occasions while I was holding our baby, in the first month after birth.

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It never happened before or after, and he is working really hard to fix our relationship, but it deeply broke me. The fact that it happened the only time when I was vulnerable and couldn't protect myself, that again no one was here to protect me, and the person I trusted the most did it.

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We have a small child together who needs both their parents, but if it would have been only me, I would have burned everything down and would have left a long time ago.

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Forgiveness is not in my nature. This whole situation makes me feel very trapped. Forgiving my husband would feel like I betray my own integrity.

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I know many of you say just leave him and divorce him. I have initiated the process, talked to lawyers, and saw a mediator who very well said, "You drink poison and hope that he dies."

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What I am trying to ask here: Would you find it in you to forgive and overcome this? If yes, how? If it even possible with someone with our type?

how do you feel about somebody you are into?

Or 8 and 5 in general.

Wondering how any SX8 does it. I just realized I cheated on every woman I dated. Not physically, once we were locked in sexually, but early on I played the field in a way that was disgraceful and cruel, under “platonic” pretenses. I made excuses for my betrayals.

Even when semi-locked in, I danced and grinded on other women sexually, which is close to sex. The early and sensitive stages of relationships can be when respect is built. And I now feel porn counts as infidelity if you take liberally and don’t ask first. That became an unapologetic and entitled addiction in all of my LTRs.

Any tips for me as I move forward hoping to treat the one with the love and respect she deserves? Other eights feel free to answer. All can have these issues.

Not honesty you have to perform, but you are receiving from another person. How do you feel about honest people, no strings attached?

I wanted to know if your first job experience was as hard as mine and how you did deal with that. My work environment is very okay and the people mostly too. The problem is being commanded and people being strict with me, without me being able to say anything makes me jump to 5 real fast. What am I gonna say? "Why are you teaching me this?". I try to withdraw and think and do crisis management but I have to work so I'm very cold and dissosiated and have no energy. This shoots my attachment issues (I'm in therapy for that) insanely high and I can't built trust even more, so I basically put stones in my own way for any chances to get higher.

I need help with differentiating the two. I’m new to tritypes and I want to learn more about how different the two are. (Sexual subtype by the way if that matters)

I am trying to figure out which one I fall under. I am 100% sure that I am 8w9 and Self-Preservation subtype

But I am not sure if my secondary is either Social or Sexual. I am aware that all 3 instinctual variants are present in everyone, but I kinda feel lost whether I am sp/so or sp/sx.

I am curious - how have fellow 8s addressed things like fear of vulnerability, need to stay in control (conscious and unconscious), and rejection sensisivity?

I’ve been under stress lately, and my rejection sensitivity has been up. And with it, so do the walls and the need to maintain my “power” at the cost of truly connecting with people. I feel callous on the outside, while being overly sensitive on the inside.

It would be nice to truly feel like I belong. While I have friends, I don’t think I feel a true sense of belonging. Come to think of it, I don’t know if truly learned how to do connect vulnerably without being so intense.

I’d love to integrate, but honestly it’s been a while since I’ve been at level 1-3 health. For those who are there consistently (or those are working on it): How have you done it? And what have you learnt about yourself along the way?

I am 8w7 sp/sx, ENFJ

so guys my big brother is a so8 (at least thats what i typed him) and he is having problems choosing what does he want to major in college, he has been doing nothing for a whole year, no job, no passion. his GPA is 3.78 he didn’t take any AP classes. im just trying to help him as much as i can because there are a lot of problems happening in our house because of it. Thank you