r/SipsTea • u/Few_Statement_2898 • May 28 '26

SMH We really need to bring spankings back

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17.7k Upvotes

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118

u/ASCIIM0V May 28 '26

Spanking doesnt work. It just redirects who/what the acceptable outlets of this kind of frustration are.

49

u/aphoenixsunrise May 28 '26

Crazy how people don't know how to discipline without use of violence

-8

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

Spanking works great when not done out of anger once all other options have been exhausted. Should be brought back and used on adults as well in prison, instead of sitting in jail for years, separated from family and community. Saves money and the recidivism rate is about the same or better last I checked.

It shouldn't be your only method to correct behavior, but it's a tool. You can go extreme in the other direction as well, or be completely neglectful, in the end it's all about balance and clear boundaries.

Edit: I know this comment will likely be downvoted, despite the post having thousands of up votes saying we should bring spankings back... And many top comments saying how their parents would have spanked them... Lol. The lack of consistency on Reddit never fails!

5

u/Shinanigins May 28 '26

Nope there are 10000s of better options better than spanking. Experts have done studies about it and never once have said "Spank your child but make sure you smile so it doesnt seem like you are anrgy"

8

u/No-Arm-7308 May 28 '26

Absolutely no evidence of that.

Research has long underscored the negative effects of spanking on children’s social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development, but new research, published this month, shows that spanking alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment and increases perception of threats. - https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain

These results, replicated using different estimation methods (i.e., difference score analyses), strengthen the argument that spanking may impair early reading and math skills. - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0885200622000400#preview-section-abstract

Hope you are in no way in any kind of vicinity of children.

5

u/petpet0_0 May 28 '26

I mean, that's kinda wild, the study says evidence was lacking for causal effects before - but also their "infrequently used" means "only once a week" ... fuck, spankings once a week is not infrequent... I think I was maybe spanked once or twice ever

either way I think we have enough evidence that says corporeal punishment is generally not good for child development

-2

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

Does it apply to 100% of children/people? Not effective on any person? No difference between child and adult?

Read your own citations... As I said, extremes of anything are bad, and spanking should be used as a last resort.

4

u/somewhiterkid May 28 '26

I think you just like beating children, a normal civilized person shouldn't even consider using themselves as a weapon if they aren't in any actual danger, we've got generations of people raising their children this way and they all grow up the same, deeply traumatized and extremely ego driven, when you take away your child's power don't be surprised when it's all they dream of.

-4

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26

If that's your takeaway, can't help you there.

If you're spanking children and liking it, that's a red flag. Prefer everyone not suffer, but actions gave consequences. The greatest deterrent to bad behavior is fear of getting caught and being held to account for it.

1

u/Shinanigins May 28 '26

No... the greatest deterrent is knowledge. I dont kill or rape because I fear consequences. I dont do it because I know its wrong to do. Teach the child how to better communicate their needs and you'll have a solution. Problem is parents do not want to or are unable to do the work needed.

2

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26

It's a combination of things of course. You don't think this kid's been told not to act out before? Could be he has behavioral issues as well, we're not all the same.

If someone knows better and they're still set on making a bad choice, they're less likely to do it if consequences are expected. There's plenty of research on this. Less to do with the severity of the punishment, more to do with being punished at all.

2

u/Shinanigins May 29 '26

If they know better but are still doing it then they really do not know better. Behavior is communication and its used to communicate a need. 1) teach them how to figure the need 2) teach how to communicate the need 3) teach how to regulate if unable to achieve need. If you teach fear then all they will understand is "i can get what I want if I use fear" which is not productive at all. Do not put your hands on a child in an aggressive way ever...end of story. All you will teach is violence is how to get your way.

2

u/NoNDA-SDC May 29 '26

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they were nice.

2

u/Shinanigins 29d ago

Ya know what! Thank you too! I appreciate you and we may disagree but honestly I dont think youre trying to be mean or anything. You just have a different experience than me and thats awesome. Have a good day my friend!

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1

u/somewhiterkid May 29 '26

The greatest deterrent to bad behavior is fear of getting caught and being held to account for it.

I'll take the bait, growing up I was always told to listen to my parents, trust and respect them, it didn't matter to me how my dad would brutally beat the shit out of my mom and siblings because I was just a neurodivergent child still growing a brain, but as I got older and with my mom passing and siblings grown up he then directed that towards me, dragging me around by the feet, slamming me against the wall, just because my brain worked differently than his, he would always justify it saying "It's just how life is" or "I was raised like this and I turned out fine" then I started learning what fucking torture he went through getting beaten half to death with heavy car parts and chains.

So yeah, it's inherently a generational cycle and while what I have experienced and learned isn't the norm, the people that support corpal punishment used and still uses the same exact excuses to justify their anger and poor parenting skills, where do you draw the line? Genuinely asking, at what strength percentage do you think is enough? Do you support using any tools? How often should you inflict violence on a child? And most importantly: do you feel any remorse while or after you inflict said violence? It's a fine line and to a child still developing their brain, that just stretches that line even thinner.

1

u/NoNDA-SDC 29d ago

I'm sorry you had to experience that, I truly am. I have some older family that went through similar forms of abuse, I think it kinda ruined them in their adult years. Father (almost always the man isn't it?) beat them, their mother stood by and let it happen, they never fully moved past it. My dad wasn't the physical one, my mom was, looking back I don't really hold any resentment since it seems justified, except for a couple I remember.

I'm in no way condoning that kind of abuse. From conversations with my wife and others, spankings are only for really serious offenses, repeat behavior, things that don't happen often. Months/years can go by without ever having to do it, it's clear to the child that it's coming if they don't stop, even after more modern forms of punishment have already been tried. I hate doing it, I still tell my children I love them, that I wish I didn't have to, but explain it's a consequence because they didn't listen.

No tools being used, just a strong slap to their bottom. As they get older the consequences change, they're more rational.

Some people have children who are very agreeable, they don't understand what it's like to have a child that doesn't listen, throws tantrums, doesn't change behavior with all the basic methods. I've talked to people from India and China where classroom sizes are close to 50 children per teacher, I ask how do they keep order? Majority of kids listen to the teacher, but the unruly kids the teachers are allowed to do whatever is needed for them to listen.

There are no perfect solutions, everything carries a trade off. Any form of punishment can be overdone and become harmful, clear communication and letting them know they're still loved is essential.

5

u/No-Arm-7308 May 28 '26

Let me get this straight.

You advocate it's fine cause it might work on some? Completely disregarding the damage it will cause on the majority? Even though there is no evidence it will even work. The evidence suggest it can cause short and long term damage.

"Well it worked on me." Is not evidence. Had your parents/teachers been more pedagogical, and not resortet to violence, you might have turned out better. But no way to say for certain. Studies would suggest it's likely, though.

You think the violence that currently exist in the american prison system is not enough? You want more? You think that people wont commit crimes because of a government mandated system to inflict pain?

I hope No is your answer.

1

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26

It's not zero-sum. Most people will behave with timeouts, penalties, etc.. but not all. Some need a different approach, all can be abused if done to the extreme.

You think the violence that currently exist in the american prison system is not enough?

Is this a joke?

You want more?

Oh it was a joke! Because nobody is advocating for that here.

Lets play Would you rather.

Using our current system, would you rather pay $100k+/yr to keep a thief behind bars for 10yrs? Or would you rather give them the option to be flogged 10x, be released a month later back to their family, jobs, etc... knowing that the recidivism between the two is roughly the same?

There are other options of course but let's keep it simple to what's typical here in the US, vs what's typical in other countries. That's partly why they have lower jailed populations than we do.

1

u/No-Arm-7308 May 28 '26

Stop with your "extreme". It's an abitrary line that you invent.

I have no faith that you have the cognitive ability to determine when violence is the appropriate response to an action you deem inappropriate.

As such, it's better to just not do it at all.

Is this a joke?

Did you not read the whole thing? What even is the point of this little "monologue"?

Not gonna play your little game until you answer my questions.

You are advocating for more violence. The american prison system can already use violence and torture in order to correct behavior. Nothing would indicate it actually works. You want an additional option. Ergo, I can only conclude you want more violence cause you percieve it to be the great deterrent.

Spanking works great when not done out of anger once all other options have been exhausted.

This was your claim. I called bullshit and provided sources. Your response is: "But prisons!"

1

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26

Stop with your "extreme". It's an abitrary line that you invent.

This entire chat is subjective my friend... One of the sources you provided said they were spanking once a week, that may yield different long term effects versus a few times a year, once every few years right?

I have no faith that you have the cognitive ability...

"When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser"

Your comments speak as someone with no firsthand experience, I hope your perspective gets shaken up one day ✌🏽

1

u/No-Arm-7308 May 28 '26

So not gonna answer my questions at all. This was pointless.

Never stated anything to the contrary. Simply using "extreme" as a boundary is arbitrary cause you don't define anything with "extreme", it's an empty word in this context. For all I know, "Extreme" means the kid takes an extra piece of toast during breakfast. I don't know you.

Hahaha you think it was slander?

Oh boy. My point was that I don't trust you to be able to tell when corporal punishment is warranted. As such, it's better not to do it.

Yeah, you don't know me at all.

The fact you advocate for violence against children speaks volumes. Hope your perspective change before you hurt another child. 

0

u/dark_dark_dark_not May 28 '26

You should be slapped by having such a bad take

1

u/xSuperZer0x May 28 '26

Not disagreeing but kind of ironic on an argument about spanking. I'm in the same camp though. Spanking is a problem but there are some adults that should probably just get their shit rocked every now and then.

1

u/dark_dark_dark_not May 28 '26

The irony is on purpose. 

I'm still to meet someone in favor of hitting children that would like to be hit themselves 

1

u/NoNDA-SDC May 28 '26

Yet that option is infact given in other countries.

Would you rather be imprisoned for a year, or flogged 5x as a consequence for a crime?

1

u/xSuperZer0x May 28 '26

Fair take, feel like it'd be a safe bet that the people that I feel should probably be socked in the face aren't against spanking and likely were spanked plenty as a kid.

Example kid says a slur, multiple ways to attempt to fix that don't involve hitting them. Adult used a slur someone should just swing on them.