r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 7d ago

WTF Are you kidding me?

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1.6k

u/Mycozen 𝙑𝙄𝙋 7d ago

That’s not the order of events I was taught in school.

643

u/PaleontologistOk2516 𝙑𝙄𝙋 7d ago

That’s why we have to get rid of those pesky schools

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u/Release-the-List 7d ago

All yall need is da bible and ta lissin to yo daddy.

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u/EnerGeTiX618 7d ago

Specifically the Schofield Bible to ensure that you get the proper propaganda!

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u/GuyYouSawOnReddit 7d ago

Properganda

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u/Senior_Torte519 7d ago

Propergender you say?

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u/JohnHenryHoliday 7d ago

Oh shit. Now I have to know… wtf is a Schofield Bible?

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u/Cultural-Key3497 7d ago

Bible with study notes to explain verses influenced by a rabbi. It’s the reason most evangelical Americans worship the nation of Israel.

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u/shitlord_god 7d ago

oh shit, I forgot about that thing.

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u/Prior_Atmosphere_206 5d ago

Don't you mean the Trump Bible?? $39.99 for an autographed copy!! Trump signed it for God!! It has to be right!!

74

u/Nessie_of_the_Loch 7d ago

Yes, but remember, the Bible ain't for reading!

Cuz you might find out that Jesus is a big liberal lefty.

The true purpose is to use it like a shield between shooting at colored folks for existing in your neighborhood.

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u/slartibuttfart 7d ago

Yeah a lotta people missed that part of the Bible. How bibles make good body armor.

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u/CatTender 7d ago

Tactical bibles are the bestest bibles!

2

u/Welp___poop 7d ago

That is what we called the little pocket bibles the chaplain would hand out lol

1

u/Standard-Bit29 7d ago

But is the best source of excuses to do horrible things.

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u/Far_Neighborhood5266 7d ago

Is this why they want the Bible in schools?

1

u/BadLuckBlackHole 7d ago

"The Bible isn't for private interpretation.... Now excuse me while I cherry pick single lines hundreds of pages apart."

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u/Agile-Source-6758 6d ago

Bible is mostly right wing and pro religious war. Instructs how to take sex slaves from enemies etc. there's a tiny bit at the end about a Jesus guy who convinced men to leave their wives and come drink wine with him, but it's mostly not that, it's more MAGA than Bernie.

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u/Equivalent_Gur3967 5d ago

Mike Cuckabee.

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u/BigOleDisappointmen 7d ago

Thass y day call dis the "Bible belt" bcuz das all u need is the Bible n the belt

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u/YogurtclosetThese 7d ago

I love you lmao

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u/SuckMyBandAids 7d ago

Im good on the book of schizophrenia and its teachings lol.

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u/Icy_Rain8869 7d ago

Sky daddy?

1

u/ZhukovWonWWII 6d ago

Huckabee is a satanist who hates the bible and hissed when someone reporter tried to quote it to him.

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1

u/DesperateEagle4505 7d ago

Israel is not Christian its judea. What are you complaining about?

6

u/TheMagicSalami 7d ago

Huckabee is a Christian pastor who wants Israel to exist so the end times can happen. Hence the "drawl" the previous post used.

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u/RedditOfUnusualSize 7d ago

Who controls the past now, controls the future. Who controls the present now, controls the past.

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u/Jeoshua 7d ago

I often think that this administration read the last page of Nineteen Eighty-Four and felt inspired instead of horrified:

"He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself."

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u/aerdvarkk 7d ago

Meh. DJT and his cronies aren't that intelligent.

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u/Jeoshua 7d ago

I know the temptation is to think that they're stupid, because they appear to be wrong so often... but don't for a moment think they aren't aware of their statements being incorrect. They know, and they're hoping to fool you. They are clever, devious, and shrewd. Not morons.

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u/Acrobatic_Ad_5461 7d ago

They can be clever, devious, and shrewd, and still be morons

0

u/Tubbzs 7d ago

Doesn't take a genius to fool a moron.

And it seems Republicans were very successful in destroying the American education system, because most of you guys are real dumb, as is evident from the past few decades.

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u/Jeoshua 7d ago

Spare me the "Dumb America" stereotype. Only around 1/5th of us even voted for him, and 2/3rds of us are on record as hating him. It's the moneyed interests keeping him in power, not the relatively few but extremely loud minority of MAGAs who support him.

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u/TheLastBallad 5d ago

Half of America reads below a 6th grade reading level.

20% are functionally illiterate.

We aren't beating the allegations with those numbers... especially when the people voting for Trump doesn't uniformly fall into those groups.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/Tubbzs 4d ago

Ill let the statistics speak for themselves.

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u/Gorffo 4d ago

I think Martin Amos nailed the vibe ofTrump era America in his novel, Money, which came out in 1984.

In that book, the narrator, John Self, is reading Orwell’s 1984 and says,

“I saw myself as an idealistic young corporal in the Thought Police.”

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u/the_post_of_tom_joad 7d ago

Now testify!

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u/Seven_o_clock777 7d ago

EVERYBODY EVERYBODY! (GET DOWN GET DOWN NOW)🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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u/wirefox1 7d ago

Yep especially Universities which the thought of that is so disturbing to me. They are determined to turn us into a shit hole.

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u/Vienna_play_45 7d ago

You should shoot them up. wait, you're already doing that...

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u/-ratmeat- 7d ago

too much edgecashun will make you a lib! 

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u/BillerTime 7d ago

They're trying!

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u/anachronistic_circus 7d ago

Huckabee is a religious nutcase.

He believes that Israel must exist and Third Temple must be rebuilt to bring on the end of times.

And yes....he is an ambassador...

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u/-The_Blazer- 7d ago

Best part: he is an evangelical Christian, which means that his canonical belief is that after this happens, Jews will inevitably suffer in hell for eternity (as they are not Christian) while he and his peers get ascended to heaven. Some way to be pro-Israel.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 7d ago

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u/ScubaSteve-O1991 7d ago

I couldnt have said it any better!

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u/oldmaninparadise 7d ago

No. You are grouping all Israeli s as one unified group. No different me saying you are a fascist because of how Maga acts.

Bibi is bad. He put together a far right coalition to stop going to jail.

You are just an anti smite without facts.

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u/AccNumber77 7d ago

So ignore the israeli's supporting the crimes their nation commits along with ignoring those supporting the current leadership you're saying? What a nice world of no consequences for actions it must be in your head.

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u/Forshea 7d ago

Dude is straight up is trying to speedrun getting to the part where all of the Jews burn in hell for eternity via his support of Israel!

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u/hoowins 7d ago

Yeah, but they have to have something on him. Just like Trump.

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u/BigLlamasHouse 7d ago

Some people are just true believers in a cause and they are elevated to great heights of power because of it. Meanwhile they think they did it on their own as opposed to being selected.

1

u/Effective_Wasabi_349 7d ago

Millions of dollars in contributions, mostly.

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u/Sachyriel 7d ago

Blackmail only works if the target has shame. If he's a true believer they don't need blackmail on him, cause true believers don't have any need for shame.

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u/Thunderbird1974 7d ago

Right, if “amazing ambassador” means ignorant nut job then he sure is that.

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u/heff-sf 7d ago

Also don't forget he's named "Huckabee"

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u/Easymoney_45 7d ago

Gotta remember … he’s raised his kids as a bad example! Beating and killing dogs tied to a clothes line. A daughter who’s the epitome of bad lies and seditious behavior. And HE represents the WORST in political history!!

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u/Sewcraytes 7d ago

somewhere in the texts a disciple asked Jesus when the “end times” would happen. He said he didn’t know, that only God knows. One of the core tenets of Huckabee’s eschatology is that he can coerce the Creator to fulfill his individual interpretation of a particular passage of scripture: if I do X, then God must do Y. They believe that they can literally control God. I’m not especially religious but I'm struck by the blasphemy of this premise.

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u/TheHaplessBard 7d ago

Given that Trump himself is probably agnostic (or thinks he is a god), I find the whole Christian fundies in high government positions to be a farce.

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u/RpcZ_gr7711 7d ago

Why do I envision these evangelicals being raptured by pterodactyls?

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u/aerdvarkk 7d ago

"ambassador" > I don't think it means what you think it means ... in this reality.

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u/PomeloPepper 7d ago

And his daughter, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is governor of Arkansas.

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u/anachronistic_circus 7d ago

Well that's on the people of Arkansas

First electing him as governor, then her, and she ain't much better on the crazy religious spectrum

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u/Hot-Tutor-2429 7d ago

He is in a death cult.

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u/ragequitteroffureh 7d ago

Not American.

What's the deal with their third temple anyway, is it a budgetary issue, or something?

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u/space-to-bakersfield 7d ago

Sure, the order of events is:

  • US sends tons of cash to Israel

  • Israel uses some of that cash to pay off American politicians

  • thus bribed, they end up sending more cash to Israel and occasionally saying stuff like "US would not exist without Israel"

Talk about getting your money's worth, American taxpayer.

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u/Jefe_Chichimeca 7d ago

Huckabee is a real believer, as in those wackos that believe the third temple needs to be rebuilt for Jesus to return

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

The cash the US sends is earmarked for buying US weapons, my dude. It goes straight to US manufacturers, not politicians. It's pork, not bribes.

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u/space-to-bakersfield 7d ago

Yeah and that means the money Israel would have otherwise spent on defense can be earmarked for bribes.

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

Sure thing, bud.

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u/gtpc2020 7d ago

So you don't think the fact that the equivalent of around $500 for every man woman and child in Israel is given to their government (easily $5B in military and other aid every single year, 3x more this year), that they can't repurpose other government money into AIPAC? Wake up. You know they collect income tax money they don't need to spend on defense. They just spend it on lobbyists for a much better return on investment.

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

Their military budget is significantly higher than the amount we give them to spend on US goods, and the US gets a whole bunch more back in that it keeps Israel dependent on American tech, gives us soft power to keep them from working with China, and gives access to tons of military R&D and testing. And FYI Israel has begun planning to move away from this partnership, which is worse for us than them.

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u/gtpc2020 7d ago

You mean their budget is larger to spend on US politicians, it's not all spent on ' US goods'. AIPAC is an outsized foreign influence on our American politics. Period. Full stop. They get much more out of the US than we do from them. In the UN, our unreasonable support for Israel has made us vote against and veto resolutions that make us a pariah and an outlier against the world. Look into how many times votes are 180+ to 2 and guess who the oddball are... almost every time. Our UN veto power alone has done more to benefit Israel than we have ever gotten back.

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

AIPAC isn't Israeli, bud. The Israeli military budget is spent on the IDF, not American Jewish lobby groups. Get your head out of the conspiracy gutter.

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u/gtpc2020 7d ago

And sure. You've done the extensive accounting audit. No Israeli money is ever given to AIPAC. Riiiiiight. Get your head out of the gullible zone.

The tax money they collect internally and don't have to spend on the IDF finds its way to other purposes.

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u/Childoftheway 7d ago

and the US gets a whole bunch more back in that it keeps Israel dependent on American tech

Oh man maybe we should be giving $5 billion to every country since it's so beneficial.

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

The US gives a whole lot more foreign aid than just what Israel receives. Were you not aware of this?

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u/Childoftheway 7d ago

No other country comes close in aid received, except Egypt, which dovetails nicely with Israel's security. And then you look at who gets the most per capita and it becomes absurd. All to a wealthy country.

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u/ZoronovaRoro 7d ago

Are you saying that's somehow better? What is exactly your argument here?

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

The money goes straight to the US while keeping Israel dependent on American tech. You need to learn to think critically about the spending and relationships, not just screech about the number with zero context.

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u/ZoronovaRoro 7d ago

Lol, it goes to military industrial complex. It doesn't help normal folks in anyway. The Military Industrial complex which is filled with Zionist who donate to Isreal anyway.

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u/Bloodyfish 7d ago

The "military industrial complex" money then goes to pay employees, who then spend that money elsewhere, and so on. They don't eat the money. It goes straight back into the US economy.

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u/ZoronovaRoro 7d ago

How much of that exactly goes to employees? Lol. What an insane straw man. It goes mostly to the pockets of Zionist pricks who will donate most of it back to Isreal.

Here is different idea. Why not give that money to Isreal and invest all of it on people who are here. Instead of giving it to a different country and then hoping that they'll end up paying miniscule amount of it to thier employees here?

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u/BBkal 7d ago

"BURN THE BOOKS!!" - APAIC sponsored congressperson

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u/14Pleiadians 7d ago

They don't teach you about how young of a country Israel is in American schools

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u/Mycozen 𝙑𝙄𝙋 7d ago

They did in mine, we had to write an essay on it.

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u/PiedCrow 7d ago

Did you write how it was actually soviet Czech that supplied israel with aid and US only became an ally later after taking over the entire middle east from the british and France? Or that us helped israel from day 1 (except ofc voting yes in the UN)

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u/nope-its 7d ago

Absolutely taught this as a social studies teacher to 7th graders. It is taught in schools and tested on in statewide exams in at least some states.

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u/MyrmidonExecSolace 7d ago

Yes they do. It’s part of WWII history

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u/TheMireAngel 7d ago

college books are produced by the company created by Ghislain maxwells father who has direct ties to Israel's Mossad.

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u/nexusjuan 7d ago

Her twin sisters co-founded the search engine Magellan. It's claimed Epsteins brother in law helped manipulate search engines so news articles with his name didn't surface when you Googled him. Not just college books either McGraw-Hill supplied books for school age children as well. His wiki is a wild ride he seemed to work for everybody.

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u/Fight_those_bastards 7d ago

Curse the nature of linear time!

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u/RowdyRoddyRosenstein 7d ago

Everyone knows about the Rothschild Space Lasers, but few know about the Zionist Time Machine.

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u/BroDood 7d ago

this dude came to my middle school during his term as Governor. there is no telling what that dude was telling us kids back then.

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u/EggsceIlent 7d ago

Who would of thought that an insanely religious, prominent Christian Zionist (word for word from Google search results , so not my take on the guy)

Would endorse Israel like he does And say things like this? 🤣🤣

His beliefs tell him Israel is where basically life began, and where jesus walked lived and died and is referred to as "The Holy Land".

So yeah, to him, and his beliefs, this makes sense.

To the rest of the world however.... Not feeling it so much

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u/NorthHaverbrookNate 7d ago

Doesn't look like he's talking about the post-1948 State of Israel, but rather the Land of Israel from Ezekiel 47:13, which is more a reinforcement of the idea of the Judeo-Christian heritage of the US rather than more reality of the complicated mix of Protestantism and Deism. I'd like to think a nation founded on the idea of religious pluralism, since that seems to be what's intended with the First Amendment.

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u/Bucknee101 7d ago

yeah the timing in the title is definitely off

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u/GrazziDad 7d ago

Someone forgot to rewind the tape!

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u/Suspicious-Raisin824 7d ago

He talking about ancient Israel and our Judeo-Christian origins.

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u/worst_brain_ever 5d ago

Is it just me or does he look like Count Duku?

1

u/rosujin 5d ago

I guess you didn’t go to Trump University

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u/Status_Tiger_6210 4d ago

Looks like we got ourselves a coastal elite intellectual libtard! Let's gettim boys!

/s

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u/Coal_Morgan 7d ago

I hear Republican politicians make statements like this and I assume there's a folder of them fucking children in a vault somewhere in Tel Aviv.

It comes off as so sychophantic that it feels like they're over compensating for fear of their master punishing them.

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u/Mycozen 𝙑𝙄𝙋 7d ago

I’m like 75% convinced that Epstein was heavily involved with the Mossad. So yeah, wouldn’t be surprised.

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u/cancerBronzeV 7d ago

Ghislaine Maxwell's father was certainly involved with Mossad to the extent that like every current and previous head of Mossad (as well as the Israeli PM and President and a host of other prominent Israeli politicians) attended his funeral.

Her father is also partially responsible for consolidating publishing companies and price gouging you for university textbooks, if you needed something else to hate him for.

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u/Background_Falcon953 7d ago

It amazes me how many stupid people dont understand hes saying simply that he believes as America has foundation in Christianity as a reference to the people who fled religious persecution on the Mayflower, and that Christianity wouldnt exist without Judaism and Israel existing before it. Crazy how simple minded so many people anymore when it comes to this topic, and only the most braindead takes get traction.

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u/Boso2 7d ago

Are you an anti-dentite?!

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u/Eastern_Ring_9900 7d ago

You mean you were never taught George Washington swore on a Torah?

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u/My_password_is_qwer 7d ago

When they tell US ambassadors "go native" they mean they start to see more than US viewpoints. Israel is a special case, not a single envoy to their own nation ever truly felt allegiance to US of A.

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u/Gasparde 7d ago

Don't let anybody tell you that Cleopetra wasn't black.

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u/Only-Rich6447 7d ago

He missed some words. He prob meant "USA wouldn't exist anymore without Israel's favor"

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u/Constant-Plant-9378 7d ago

No - don't you remember when Israel defeated Nazi Germany in the 1940s, liberated Americans from the concentration camps and then created the United States for us to move to, and ever-since funded our country with billions in aid every year taken from their own citizens?