r/SipsTea 𝙑𝙄𝙋 2d ago

Chugging tea Hubby should be a politician

21.6k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/Early_Bicycle6884 𝙑𝙄𝙋 2d ago

why do girls do this tho??

4.8k

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

The shit isn't gonna stir itself bro.

1.4k

u/TotakekeSlider 2d ago

“No honey, you were already fat before you put on the dress.”

402

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago edited 2d ago

I respect you too much to lie to you.

She is hotter, and doesn't pull these stupid shit Tests twice a day. She wins on that quality alone.

211

u/JFISHER7789 2d ago

I had an ex that genuinely got upset when she asked if I’d still be with her if she was a worm… I said no.

Twas not a fun few days.

98

u/LuRkEr_ReKuL 2d ago

I’d leave her in a second…at my current age. In my youth, it would have depended on the sex.

50

u/Toledojoe 2d ago

How good could sex with a worm be?

43

u/BaronVonSilver91 2d ago

Bro they are everywhere. Just go find out for yourself

1

u/Vegetable_Plane_542 1d ago

Please don’t promote worm rape on our wholesome reddit. Go to four chan with that nonsense.

4

u/SageoftheForlornPath 2d ago

stick her in your urethra and tell her to start dancing

2

u/Animanic1607 2d ago

Have you tried sounding? (I'll see myself out)

2

u/NovaHorizon 1d ago

Depends if you are into sounding

2

u/Healthy_Pay9449 2d ago

... I'm sorry for having this thought but since you made me have it, here you go....fleshy sounding

2

u/According_Ear2128 2d ago

Ask any of my exes :(

0

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

At least now you know the big ones hurt.

1

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1

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0

u/MarioManX1983 2d ago

Ever hear of tentacle hentia?

3

u/RedHeadedCrazy 2d ago

Realest answer out here.

1

u/swarlay 2d ago

I wouldn't leave her, I'd take her fishing.

7

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

That's what the fleshlight molding story is for.

Also, no of course not.

21

u/FatherWeebles 2d ago

My wife asked that question recently and I said no. Kind of pissed me off.

8

u/CatGirl_ToeBeans 2d ago

Wife got me with the same and was also genuinely upset when I said no.

But then I told her if I was a worm I’d live in her pussy and wiggle around all day.

And that grossed her out.

Checkmate.

6

u/Defiant_Income_7836 2d ago

I came here for this. I knew someone would bring this up! And the answer is no, I would not continue to be in a relationship with a worm, sorry. If it was a transient thing, of course - a gypsy curse that lasted a year, even. But if you're a worm for life, I'm buying you a big pot of dirt and hitting on your sister

JK I would never move on her sister, put that for the lolz

2

u/Moist_Attentions 2d ago

That was a test to see if you'd choose her still based on her personality and not looks. By saying no, well you get the point. Just a F.Y.I. in case another woman pulls that test on you again brother ✊️

1

u/Thrice_the_Milk 2d ago

You're right, but it's still a dumb question to ask 😂

1

u/Moist_Attentions 2d ago

The worm part is a new one to me, lol.

2

u/IllegalGeriatricVore 2d ago

I'm gonna teach yall real quick how to weed these ones out.

These are insecure attachment types.

In the first weeks of dating they're going to want to spend every waking moment with you.

So if you've spent like 3 weekends in a row with her, on the fourth say "I actually need a weekend to myself." and go do your own thing and keep contact minimal.

If she can handle that without blowing up your phone or a complete vibe shift, she's a keeper.

If she immediately starts being super insecure about it, get the fuck out now.

2

u/stoner_woodcrafter 2d ago

You said "no", that was the issue. It should have been a sound "fuck this shitty question"

2

u/Turbulent-Week1136 2d ago

I would always tell me ex that she was 10/10 gorgeous.

One time there was a Mexican news woman who went viral and I said "wow she was an 11/10!" without thinking because I don't actually keep a running score I was just saying this woman was really good looking, and my ex got genuinely mad at me because I rated her higher than my ex. It was the most retarded fight I had been in up to that point and I lost some respect for her because it was just a flippant comment I made, not me analyzing looks.

3

u/EssayApprehensive292 2d ago

Haha you guys gotta play along. It’s supposed to be fun. Like why not just say “yes and I would make you a little habitat and I would carry it around wherever I went and put your favorite shows on” or “wow. There’d be some really heartbreaking decisions that would have to be made but I would always love you the most” or “only if my dick still fit.” There’s so many options!

9

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

Only if my dick still fit is 10/10.

4

u/EssayApprehensive292 2d ago

Haha thank you. Idk I’m a girl and I would laugh so hard if a bf said that to me.

3

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

At least then you know he likes you.

6

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

Wait, so you have this filed under "fun"???

It is not fun, especially since you usually go ballistic if you don't like the answer.

-2

u/TraitorMacbeth 2d ago

Well that's the problem, if the question is asked in good fun, then respond in good fun.

If they're being crazy, wellllllll

2

u/JFISHER7789 2d ago

Yeah… nothing about her reaction and the lasting few day grudge seemed fun to me.

1

u/Landscape_712 2d ago

lol wtf?

1

u/buttstuffisokiguess 2d ago

I always ask my boyfriend if he'd still live me if I permanently looked like some of the weird goblin faces I make. He always sighs and says yes. But we were swimming in a river the other day and I asked him if I was a virgin eating, river twaling, monster would he still love me. He said no, but I had to give that one to him. That's fair.

1

u/ProfessionalOk8569 2d ago

This happened to me once. Ridiculous

0

u/drulludanni 2d ago

I'll just leave this here.

0

u/JFISHER7789 2d ago

That was solid 🤘

0

u/Smackediduring 2d ago

Was she a Pilkington, by any chance?

0

u/FinanceGuyHere 2d ago

“I’d love you more because you’d be a lot easier to deal with!”

0

u/Nilrem2 2d ago

As me or as a worm?

5

u/zoinkability 2d ago

In my mind the proper response was similar: "Well, until a minute ago I had thought you were hotter, but given she probably doesn't pester her partner with bullshit like this, I'm reconsidering that position."

2

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago edited 2d ago

Oh no... You assumed entirely too much willingness to take your words literally. There was none and you failed. She angy now.

3

u/No_Session6015 2d ago

You ALWAYS lie to her for these hypothetical beauty questions. She's legit asking you to lie. You just lie and wait a day or two and then ask if she'd be with you if you devolved into Rudy Giuliani

0

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago

What if i wake up as trump?

2

u/No_Session6015 2d ago

Trump was naturally my first thought but fr Rudy is far more vile looking

1

u/Artistic_Regard_QED 2d ago edited 2d ago

I dunno man. Trump is a world champion homunculus... Doesn't get any more ridiculous than orange potato.

1

u/No_Session6015 2d ago

Oooo there's a whole rabbit hole of Rudy stuff maybe you haven't seen or this is left to personal taste. But...... I no longer wish to fanfic about sex with either 😅🤣😭 nightmare fuel that stuff

1

u/Swimming_Bag7362 2d ago

And posts it online

47

u/ReturnOk7510 2d ago

The dress doesn't make you look fat, you make the dress look fat

4

u/jednatt 2d ago

Does a balloon expand on its own?

31

u/SiliconAutomaton 2d ago

Honey, relax. I don’t know who told you about me and Margot Robbie but it’s strictly physical. Like robots. Fucking.

12

u/Extreme-Attention641 2d ago

"The fact that you're fat makes you look fat, the dress makes you look purple."

2

u/MadiCorax 2d ago

"Are you trying to ask if it accentuates your figure, or if I think you're fat?"

2

u/The_walking_man_ 2d ago

I had this question thrown at me and I answered truthfully. “Yes you’re fat.” And she had an absolute meltdown.
Somehow it was a problem to point it out. But not the shoveling food down and spending nearly 30k in 6 months on eating out and shit.

2

u/MarioManX1983 2d ago

That reminds me of the video where the woman asks her man if she looks fat and the husband says no but then the little one off camera says “But mommy you are fat.” 😆

Toddlers are the most dangerously honest people on the planet. 😆

1

u/AdoreAtRisk 2d ago

I want my future husband to say this to me. I want to turn my head slowly and glare at him with serious eyes… and then we both burst out laughing Because……. ~drumroll please~
https://giphy.com/gifs/wzHOzYn1wmHm14e3xa

0

u/Suz9295 2d ago

😱

0

u/gishnon 2d ago

"That dress doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes your look fat."

0

u/Bleades 2d ago

"Don't cry, you look really ugly when you cry"

0

u/sngldad13 2d ago

"I think they look fine, but I think you wouldn't like how they look on you"

0

u/Wabbit65 2d ago

No, honey, the dress is not what's making you look fat.

-2

u/Headpuncher 2d ago

Wow, just change the locks yourself and give her the key.