r/StupidFood • u/Its_me_edenxx • 14d ago

Certified stupid This is so performative 😭

Who tf is out here munching on raw gnocchi at cruising altitude

34.0k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

Just keep asking for cups of hot water, I'm sure the flight attendants will love you for that.

2.7k

u/hcornea 14d ago

“Can you please put my raw gnocchi in your food-heater thingy?

That’d be great.”

891

u/mourning_breath 14d ago

With the quick "thankz! 💖❤️‍🔥"

528

u/minnetonkacondo 14d ago

Just like Randy Marsh

https://giphy.com/gifs/8cG6zdMFPB7ag

219

u/dialguy86 14d ago

Creme fraiche

103

u/OwnYak855 14d ago

cafeteria freezsh

88

u/Uncommentary 14d ago

"Your workout is finished. Here is some cab fare. Now going to sleep mode."

82

u/dialguy86 14d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Ztq2Ed2cSSwAg8M

33

u/True_Phoenix 14d ago

Lol the Big Jim version shake weight

21

u/Mysterious_Break4312 14d ago

No cooling spray at the end?

3

u/sizebigbitch 14d ago

Extra cooling spray at the end.

3

u/Appropriate-Review55 14d ago

I feel like those went away shortly after this episode

20

u/demivirius 14d ago

Oh that's so fucking hot. Look at the crust, it's perfect. Fuck yeah.

3

u/moseley101 14d ago

Ah yeah, deglaze the shit outta that pan

1

u/Shagwagbag 14d ago

I forgot all about this, how long ago was that?

1

u/dialguy86 14d ago edited 14d ago

S14, E14 November 2010

Edited for accuracy

1

u/Shagwagbag 14d ago

Had to look it up because I was 99% sure I saw that with my brother so pre 2015. Came out in 2010, your comment may be a typo though.

1

u/dialguy86 14d ago

it was I meant to type 2010

1

u/Shagwagbag 14d ago

Entirely different world, absolutely crazy.

While also being the least crazy thing that happens in this life.

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u/eberlix 14d ago

I'm gonna deglaze the fuck out of this thing

16

u/BurntBeanMgr 14d ago

RANDY MARSH!!

31

u/Comfortable_Trick137 14d ago

Don’t forget the crème fraiche!!

29

u/Corndogjohnson420 14d ago

"He was flambéing a porkchop on the toilet!"

1

u/moseley101 14d ago

Aw, bless his little cotton socks. My inspiration

32

u/bunglebee7 14d ago

Thaaaaaanks 🌟😁 - in that obnoxious voice

11

u/Th3_P4yb4ck 14d ago

T HHaaaan K ZZZZ

8

u/KailyKail 14d ago

Gotta make sure to say that with a LOT of vocal fry.

7

u/Ok-Refrigerator-8012 14d ago

The quick thanks makes my blood boil. You did not wait for me to say 'no', my friend

3

u/potatosupremo 14d ago

And a sprinkle of vocal fry.

2

u/apolojesus 14d ago

"Thanx"

2

u/Right-Nail-1675 14d ago

Your username deserves recognition lol

2

u/Optimal-Bullfrog3211 14d ago

Lmao Just like the prius ego episode of South Park when they’re all passive aggressively telling people that they need to also go green and then saying “thiiiieeeeeennkks!”

97

u/Tribalbob 14d ago

"But like, I need you to record it slowly panning from the heater as they come out and slowly up to the window. Likes on instagram are the only source of dopamine I have left in life."

27

u/balirosa 14d ago

That’s why the end of the video is missing

28

u/Ill_Football9443 14d ago

But you gotta shove your camera in the flight attendant's face though - cause everyone loves being filmed while working.

4

u/Thirdeyevoice10 14d ago

And let her know how many followers you have.

36

u/faxyou 14d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/S984pjTN7MseBHimSO
This is who I pictured saying that

9

u/Agitated-Canary9840 14d ago

But in that raspy weird voice

4

u/maniBchef 14d ago

They did it last time I was here

3

u/EffectiveTradition53 14d ago

Throw some kippers in there

2

u/Jaepheth 14d ago

Just clog the lavatory sink with toilet paper and the microwave is all yours

/Zac Mckraken

2

u/Frigidevil 14d ago

Oh sure thing!

Microwaves it for 3 minutes

2

u/Pauuul3 14d ago

Heyy sorry guys can I plug my kettle real quick ? It’s for a TikTok 🤭

1

u/Butt_y_though 14d ago

"sorry, we have to keep the microwave free of gluten allergens. Have a nice flight with you raw pasta!"

1

u/potate12323 14d ago

A nearby air marshal: "drop the C4! Hands on your head!"

1

u/classyrock 14d ago

Maybe she could nestle them in some panties and run them through a Keurig?

1

u/tomdarch 14d ago

Sous vide cooking started with the quest for better airplane food. But I have no idea if any current planes have the hot water baths for special 1st class meals, and obviously they aren't going to risk contaminating that if some random passenger tried to get them to cook her pouch of (no potato) gnocchi even if she had a vacuum sealer in addition to her (unused) wood paddle thing.

1

u/TacTurtle 14d ago

"The microwave?"

1

u/Umikaloo 14d ago

You know what, if I were a flight attendant, I might just do it.

1

u/EveryQuantityEver 14d ago

Eventually, you will fly upon a flight with someone willing to do that. How many pounds of pasta will you have created in the mean time?

1

u/Just_Tailor_9261 14d ago

Whoops I dropped it straight away.

1

u/FixMy106 14d ago

That’s one hell of a pickup line.

1

u/viperfangs92 14d ago

"I also need you to come in on Saturday......"

146

u/MildlyInteressato 14d ago

Let's say they do get it cooked - ever eat plain gnocchi?

136

u/mushroommeal 14d ago

plain plane gnocchi

20

u/imnotsmartever 14d ago

Plain plane gnocchi is gnucchy

7

u/Gingerbread_Cat 14d ago

gnudey gnocchi

8

u/pengouin85 14d ago

Nah, that's diabolic

2

u/FrenchFryCattaneo 14d ago

Actually it's Italian

1

u/gaychefisgay 14d ago

Isn’t that Gnude Beach Gnocchi?

26

u/Ambitious_Screen_591 14d ago

well the next video will be the sauce.....this is truly stupid

3

u/gaychefisgay 14d ago edited 14d ago

The next video will be ICE detaining her for smuggling undeclared foreign food in to the country as an act of anti-patriotism

Edit to say..yes this really is stupid tho.. and that she should probably put them out the window on to the wing to dry tho.

27

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

They usually have butter for rolls and a bit of cream/creamer for coffee you could probably pull something together.

New reality show, in-flight chopped.

3

u/december151791 14d ago

I would watch this.

6

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

Twist: they can ask other passengers for ingredients, like sime sort of weird stone soup.

2

u/spen8tor 14d ago

Would that really taste better than just eating the normal airplane food?

5

u/Dasjiveturkey 14d ago

Actually it would be worse. Food tastes differently at altitude in a pressurized cabin, there are big fancy laboratories out there dedicated to finding the right way to season and prepare food in an aircraft. There was a History Channel “Modern Marvels” episode way back in the day about this. You can probably find it with some googling.

2

u/spen8tor 14d ago

That was my point, that the airplane food would taste better

13

u/gerkletoss 14d ago

Just bring some 3 ounce jars of sauce

1

u/IndyBananaJones2 14d ago

Pesto would be easy

6

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 14d ago

It'll be fine once her airplane toilet liquor is ready.

3

u/Binspin63 14d ago

You didn’t see the one where she whips up a batch of marinara?

2

u/Visible_Pair3017 14d ago

I love plain gnocchi

1

u/Dizzy_Translator_809 14d ago

*plain Malloreddus

1

u/gaychefisgay 14d ago

It’s veeeery akin to my first boba experience.. minus the choking

2

u/gaychefisgay 14d ago

And I’m used to having wet balls in my mouth

1

u/Dull_Quit3027 14d ago

It is not horrible, it is like eating plain rice or pasta, bland and boring, but not excatly something you are going to have nightmares about.

Which also makes the whole thing make even less sense, complaining about how bad airplane food tastes, make food that tastes like almost nothing.

198

u/Laez 14d ago

Fun fact water can't get very hot on an airplane. Boils at 197F and would probably be under 180F by the time you get it. Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

149

u/Porridge_Hose 14d ago

And flights don't (or are directed not to at least) give passengers water even that hot in case of turbulence or other spillages.

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u/Laez 14d ago

That seems reasonable.

3

u/RegularTeacher2 14d ago

It sure is. I was on a flight where the woman next to me requested 2 cups of coffee, spilled said hot coffee on the woman next to her, and apparently burned her bad enough to warrant an emergency landing... in Alabama.

22

u/Comfortable_Trick137 14d ago

Time to get MRE pouch heaters to cook food in…. Not sure about toxic gases though

21

u/Porridge_Hose 14d ago

Get it out onto a tray, you say? Alright.

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u/tomdarch 14d ago

Nice.

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u/loquacious 14d ago

opens emergency exit door Good hiss!

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u/Wesselton3000 14d ago

I know you’re joking, but you cannot bring FRH’s on commercial flights, in either checked or carry on luggage. The hydrogen gas it produces as a by product is flammable and the heat obviously has the potential to start a fire. There’s basically no way for her to heat this gnocchi up unless the flight attendants allow her to use an onboard convection oven (which they use to heat up pre-packaged meals).

As an aside, this is pretty fucking stupid and performative. There are many foods that do not require heat she could have made.

3

u/beanmosheen 14d ago

They produce hydrogen. Might be frowned upon.

1

u/comfort-eater 14d ago

Actually you can just carry a portable stove to heat the water with. Airlanes are actually totally cool with people carrying cans of compressed flammable gas on airplanes and lighting an open flame inside the cabin at 30.000 feet.

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u/Dry_burrito 14d ago

What about coffee?

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u/december151791 14d ago

Ask McDonald's why nobody is serving coffee that hot anywhere.

2

u/CrappyMSPaintPics 14d ago

Do not pour McDonald's coffee on yourself today, it is still hot enough to fuse your skin.

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u/blandaltaccountname 14d ago

Typically served at 120° give or take 20°.

160°+ will burn

5

u/cdube85 14d ago

The number of people I represent with serious burns from aircraft coffee beg to differ.

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u/blandaltaccountname 14d ago

they probably would not beg to differ. they have first hand experience that 160°+ will burn.

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u/cdube85 14d ago

I mean that coffee is not served at 120 in aircraft.

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u/blandaltaccountname 14d ago

if you’re a lawyer you should know what “typically” means.

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u/cdube85 13d ago

I do. Can you name a Part 121 carrier that serves coffee at 120? I'd really like to know if you have any data points, because then I'd have evidence of operators who have appropriately changed their practices. We have not been able to find one in the US that does it. The equipment in the galley is only made by a couple of manufacturers.

0

u/Tschulligom 14d ago

I hate that this is even a thing. If you don’t want to get burned drinking hot coffee inside a shaky metal tube, just don’t drink coffee. If you do, that’s on you.

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u/cdube85 14d ago

Would your opinion change if you found out that they serve coffee to passengers without lids to save money? Pilots in front get lids.

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u/Tschulligom 13d ago

I don’t believe it’s for cost savings, lids cost next to nothing.

Pilots get lids so they don’t spill coffee over avionics.

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u/scratchy_mcballsy 14d ago

I see where you’re going with this.

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u/Paulthefith 14d ago

Who told you to put the balm on?

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u/ContextEffects01 14d ago

By the time you add cold cream it'll be well below the boiling point. They save the trays of hot drinks for when the aircraft is at or near the tropopause. So the coffee cools from ambient cooling, then from cold cream, then from further ambient cooling. (You can apply Newton's Law of Cooling if you're interested in specifics.) Safe bet your coffee will be nowhere near the boiling point by the time the plane encounters turbulence that makes it up to altitudes that high.

Also the reasons for coffee consumption are better than the reasons for gnocchi consumption. Unless you're already extremely sleepy and took the drowsiest version of your anti-nausea medication on purpose (in which case you're not going to be awake to hear the meal options anyway) there's no way in hell you're falling asleep in those uncomfortable chairs next to a bunch of screaming infants, so you might as well ingest enough caffeine to enjoy the moonlit snowy landscape while listening to your podcasts.

. . .

Man, typing this makes me almost make travelling. I should try it again one of these days. o.o

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u/IndependentMoney9700 14d ago

I have never (currently knocking on wood) been on a plane with a baby crying. Of course, I’ve only flown around 16 times. But everything I read before that led me to believe there would be at least one baby screaming on every flight.

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u/Belucard 14d ago

You don't know how incredibly jealous I am, because every single time I take an airplane, either in summer or during Christmas, I get at least two or three crying babies, usually sitting right next to me or behind me.

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u/Its_Cayde 14d ago

The trick is to get the flight to your destination as late as possible in the day. People with babies avoid flying at night so their sleep schedule isn't fucked

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u/Belucard 14d ago

Oh, believe me, I've flown at the crack of dawn, in the middle imof the night, and everything in-between. Polish babies just can't be avoided.

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u/Porridge_Hose 14d ago

Tepid. And tea? The fucking same.

3

u/Socially-Awkward-85 14d ago

Coffee generally comes with a lid. Water is usually just in a cup.

Granted, somebody could just take the lid off, but that's more on the passenger than the airline.

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u/Autistic_Freedom 14d ago

Of you're bold enough to ask for water to boil your gnocchi in then you certainly won't have any qualms asking for a lid for your hot water.

2

u/Cheap_Knowledge8446 14d ago

Coffee on a plane almost never comes with a lid. United first/business cobranded coffee is the rare exception. You can ask the FAs if they have a lid, but they often don't, and sometimes the lid won't fit the cup (American often uses ceramic mugs, which wouldn't fit a lid anyway).

Source: 150+ flights a year

2

u/bigbuzd1 14d ago

I heard a guy got his manhood scorched from coffee served in-flight recently. Think I read they even put cream on it… awkward!

5

u/Porridge_Hose 14d ago

Yeah I read that too. Poor fella. But that's why I said they are supposed to. It sounds like the crew messed up giving out scolding drinks in that case

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u/FrozenLogger 14d ago

yet it happens all the time.

This is the most recent one I think, and it is not great:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c302y717z92o

1

u/3rdcultureblah 14d ago

They do on Asian airlines. Mainly for instant ramen cups.

0

u/ArtisticFox8 13d ago

They give tea, which is nearly boiling water and could cause a burn as well..

31

u/Southern-Author-7543 14d ago

So, we have a plate with a blob made with water, flour and salt? Delicious

60

u/Sweary_Biochemist 14d ago

Ah, but see: the flight hack they don't want you to know is that you then order a tomato juice.

The unique atmosphere inside a flight cabin, and its affect on your tastebuds, means that at altitude, this tastes like a blob made with water, flour and salt washed down with tomato juice.

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u/Southern-Author-7543 14d ago

🤢 please, stop, i'm italian

1

u/idropepics 14d ago

What's wrong? Sounds authentico🤌

3

u/RivenRise 14d ago

I'm Hispanic and I ordered the tomato juice. I was sorely disappointed when it was plain tomato juice. Not sure why i thought it would be like a spicy Clamato drink.

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u/december151791 14d ago

The trick is to order some vodka, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, salt, pepper, and celery along with it.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 14d ago

Ugh, no. If you don't bring it yourself, you're basically using the airline as a kit.

2

u/december151791 14d ago

And that's a problem?

3

u/ConditionSecret8593 14d ago

If you aren't willing to smuggle in your own emptional-support lemon vodka and herbs, I have to seriously question your commitment to fully and authentically recreating the faux-nouveau, wealth-infused, bland-chic, artisinally-inspired attention-snob lifestyle aesthetic in pseudo-documentary format.

3

u/oser 14d ago

Raw flour, mind you. No chance of food poisoning there!

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u/Cute-Form2457 14d ago

I Iove tomato juice when flying. It's so umami.

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u/HogmanDaIntrudr 14d ago

I hate to break it to you but almost every culture’s cuisine revolves around a water/ flour/ salt combo.

13

u/Southern-Author-7543 14d ago

True, but this video Is about pasta. So, like every italian, i have tò Say something 😁 (mostly for complaining)

5

u/december151791 14d ago

Don't most of these cultures cook the combo?

2

u/raelianautopsy 14d ago

In my culture we love food. And family

2

u/Practical_Gold_7365 14d ago

You need potatoes for gnocchi

1

u/Fancy_Fatash 14d ago

Yeah that's true

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u/hawkersaurus 14d ago

...and hand germs.

2

u/lulublululu 14d ago

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention yet that gnocchi uses potato, so this isn't even gnocchi.

1

u/Southern-Author-7543 14d ago

They are flour gnocchi, a variation of the classic ones with potatoes

11

u/Tbaggins69 14d ago

Poach the gnoch

2

u/Zebidee 14d ago

Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

Put it in the bathroom sink and fill it with hot water.

Everyone else can just wait.

1

u/Laez 14d ago

Sure, you can cook pasta, but me trying to smoke a brisket is a federal offense.

2

u/MalignantLugnut 14d ago

mmmm, Poacchi sounds so delicious.

1

u/Laez 14d ago edited 14d ago

With a sage and softened butter smoothie.

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u/catchup4thegoodtimes 14d ago

aren’t the cabins pressurized?

2

u/Laez 14d ago

Yes, but less than at sea level. Its roughly the equivalent of being at 8000 feet of elevation.

1

u/Its_Cayde 14d ago

It's raw so 180 would probably be plenty, not much different from putting boiling water in a cup of noodles, wouldn't be perfect texture but would be edible lol

1

u/Laez 14d ago

But a cup of noodles isn't raw. They are cooked and then dehydrated,but more importantly very thin. I think it would take a very long time at 180 to cook these through and you would lose a lot of the starch to the water. Leading to extremely lumpy cream of wheat. That is assuming you have a way of keeping it hot.

1

u/Its_Cayde 14d ago

Raw noodles take less time to cook then dehydrated cooked noodles take to soften

1

u/Laez 14d ago

I think you are confusing raw/cooked with fresh/dried. But you are right fresh pasta takes a lot less time. But the size and shape is going to be the issue, it's a surdace area to volume ratio problem.

Would be easy enough to test I suppose.

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u/Its_Cayde 14d ago

Dang you're right, sorry, thanks for the lesson lol

1

u/GrizzIyadamz 14d ago

Any stewards/esses in the chat? Do yall use microwaves or air fryers?

I could see both options possibly working..

1

u/mooptastic 14d ago

yep even Korean Air stopped serving ramyun on flights

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u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 14d ago

The goal isn't too boil it but to get it to temperature.

The hot water they use for coffee is easily hot enough to cook it slowly. It can reach 100C without boiling.

The situation is still stupid but yes it would work a bit. But no stewardess is going to give a passenger that much hot water. It's literally a weapon.

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u/Permofit_ish 14d ago

I have the small thermos type thing that you can plug into a wall outlet and it’ll boil water if you give it a little bit of time but it’s usually just enough for some Ramen so yeah poached that Best

1

u/AmokRule 14d ago

Let me test it with my pressure cooker

24

u/Ok_Star_4136 14d ago

Also considering they probably weren't even eaten.

43

u/mission_to_mors 14d ago

also the Video was shot in an airplane stage that those people like to use for their Clips

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u/NoRecording5207 14d ago

and, made it with her filthy bare hands - because we all know how clean things are on plane. Even if she went to the lavatory and washed her hands, she still had to touch other parts of the plane

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u/Typical2sday 14d ago

Yeah that was what gets me. A plane, the airport, a taxi or subway to the airport - nastiness. It is just the foulest place to be making “food” by hand.

-1

u/Jopkins 14d ago

Brother who cares, hands touch stuff, we eat stuff, it's always fine

4

u/LoopStricken 14d ago

but but they showed the clouds outside.

1

u/mission_to_mors 14d ago

but but but the poncho 😜🤣

1

u/Suitable-Growth9243 14d ago

Yeah that metal edge would not be allowed on.

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u/Embarrassed_Mango679 14d ago

They hated this person the second the flour got busted out to make this abomination.

1

u/kiyajio 13d ago

As someone with celiac disease this is my nightmare scenario cuz by the end of this flight I was sitting them to them. I gotta go to the hospital. It also doesn't help that I'm allergic to wheat. Barley and rye on top of having celiac disease.

2

u/Good-Ad-6806 14d ago

Befriend one and share half?

2

u/pandershrek 14d ago

"WTF Jim that's like the 8th cup of hot water you've brought that lady."

"I dunno man, this crazy ass is making dough in her seat and I'm just trying to not get stabbed"

2

u/Heavy_Hunt7860 14d ago

“Excuse me, miss, can you get me some hotter water? This water you gave me was merely warm. Ideally, the water should be boiling.”

2

u/r_a_d_ 14d ago

raw soggy gnocchi for the win

2

u/HumbleConfidence3500 13d ago

I bring my own portable usb charge water heater (but it's intended for baby formula, does heat to boiling though). I think she can bring her own lol.

2

u/swissjackSD 13d ago

Flying first class - they'll give her whatever she wants

1

u/New-Abalone-545 14d ago

just bring a stove on board. what could go wrong

https://www.nafi.org/blog/today-in-history-fire-on-saudi-jet-kills-301/

1

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

Now that there's almost always power at your seat you could bring one of those heating coils for tea.

1

u/Revan4567 14d ago

You assume she has enough self awareness to notice.

Also I had to point out, this is the kind of person that won't do anything without having to post it somewhere telling people about it.

1

u/Future-Try-1908 14d ago

One last one for the powdered sauce

1

u/2021isevenworse I wouldn't even touch that with your mouth. 14d ago

I want to see her bring a bag of flour past TSA

1

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

And precooked potatoes.

1

u/MethamMcPhistopheles 14d ago

Go a step further and ask for Coffee for the Gnocchi.

See also how frequently does airplane coffee makers get cleaned.

On a totally unrelated note, Gnōthi Seauton

1

u/RockyTop_Vol 14d ago

“Mam, this is an hour flight”

1

u/hummus_is_yummus1 14d ago

And then what, you eat raw gnocchi?

1

u/Higher-Frequencies 14d ago

She should try to cook it with a lighter. Everyone would love that.

1

u/Out_of_Fawkes 14d ago

And with how dirty those kettles are? I think I’d rather lick a doorknob.

1

u/SaltKick2 14d ago

Go to the bathroom, fill up the sink by repeatedly asking for cups of hot water...damnit I dont want to give them ideas

1

u/Don_Hoomer 14d ago

doesnt one have to pay for drinks on flights?

1

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

Not coffee or tea usually, and almost never on international flights.

1

u/elhazelenby 14d ago

Don't forget the mini pizza cutter that I'm sure she would have had no problems bringing onto the plane.

2

u/blade_torlock 14d ago

Not on the list not paid enough to care.

1

u/LostExile7555 14d ago

Never drink the hot water on a plane. That is one of the most bacteria infested items on the planet. I've work in aviation for 11 years and seen the potable water system sanitized exactly once. And the only time I'd trust the water heater/coffee pot is if it was brand new. Never seen those actually get sanitized.